SANDHIR FF: MY EQUATION OF TRUST (DARK+MATURE)LINK TO THREAD 2!! - Page 59

PART: 13

BEING ATTACHED

Precap: rd started attaching his pain with her found her to be his companion...

The next thing which he witnessed gave him a lil relief yeah she was there in kitchen...she was making the breakfast in the kitchen...was mum..but was looking fresh...yeah she had the bath...he stopped at the entrance by looking at her alright...he smiled at this..at his success in his task to bring her out ...he was just gazing at her whereas she was just ignoring him..was not even looking at him..it was not that she didn't knew that he was there...but it was like that she didn't wanted to know that he was there...may be she was scared to face him...the one with whom she had shared her heart out the last night..the one who was known to her pain and her past...she was scared of him..no no she was not weak at all...was not scared of him actually she was scared of the thought of being befriend to him... was scared to make any relation with him...even not as a friend..she was actually not scared of him..she was scared of the peoples..of humans..of world...was scared to being again around people...of being again betrayed..yeah the thought of being left alone..being betrayed again...was horrifying her to the hell that she was not even ready to talk to one as a human...this was what her EQUATION OF TRUST was doing to her..it had just bound her up in her own jail...where she was not even allowed to look at someone as a human...she was afraid of the world..Whereas he was there to help her..was there to help himself...he was just BEING ATTACHED to her by an connection...trust...he was locating himself in her...he had a urge to help her out..to help him out..to know her pain..to reduce her pain..to absorb her pain...it was like he was getting a relief by absorbing her pain..it was not a thing like love..it was a thing like... like...uugghh don't know what but it was a way for him to soothe himself ...he was just finding it a way to escape his all pain...it was a unknown strong connection between them was urge of his soul to help her soul which was also stuck somewhere between past and present...

She was just doing her work...was making breakfast..umm may be for him...or may be not for him...he stepped towards her with a assurance and lil satisfaction by finding her back to the square...whereas after looking at him from corner of her eyes she turned her back to him pretending being busy in her work...he came to her and stood behind her...he sighed a lil and took a deep breath..taking it to be as alright and then kept his hands at her shoulder with a assurance...to which she got Goosebumps on her skin...of being touched by the one who knew the her partially..yeah she was afraid of the one who knew her...becuz of her EQUATION OF TRUST...she closed her eyes in lil defeat but soon she opened up her eyes in determination in it..Determination of being strong..yeah the thought of loosing her dignity had made her strong...now she was pretty damn sure and determined to not to give anyone even a chance to make her think so..she considered it as her mistake to give him a chance to make her think so..if she had been strong..he wouldn't have got any chance to make her a slave...she still didn't trusted him...but somewhere she was believing him...may be in soft corner of her heart..she turned to him with a spark in her eyes..Pretending to be strong...and looked straight into his eyes and the moment when their eyes got latched he lost his confidence..his assurance..he felt something in them...he got lost in them..his hand shuddered a lil at this and he took back his hand..he was still looking in her eyes..he found him in her eyes..his eyes in her eyes...yeah their eyes were filled up with the same intensity now...their eye were showing the pain and the dismay hiding behind the fake strength..Strength to fight back..Pretending to be strong but as a matter of fact both of them were weak..weak from inside.. soon he broke up the eye lock and blinked his eyes thrice..and then said while taking the steps back...in his straight and lil low voice with a concern in it... "tum theek toh ho na...???..." and to this she shudder up a lil but said in her determined voice even not facing him...with a rudeness in it... "tumhe use kya...??? tum bas apne kaam se kaam rakho...m not your anyone..."... and to this he felt something bad he felt that his new found companion had just denied to be with him... but somewhere he was happy..happy for her..to be bold...and also to find her the one like him..not ready to share herself up...he smiled to her rudeness..giving her a lil shock..yeah she didn't expected this...and then he replied with a sigh in his voice...in his normal tone "theek hai tum naashta... (he was about to say more but she turned to him..their eyes again met..she was confused..he again felt something...he felt a fear...and then his voice got lowered...his voice got lil weak...and then after a pause he said after sighing a lil)... tuumm naashhtaa bana lo me aata hu..." And after saying so he rushed out from the kitchen while blinking his eyes a lil..leaving her all confused..she too was confused by his intense eyes expressing something familiar..but she ignored it out of the fear of BEING ATTACHEDto him...he came out of the kitchen and went up to his room...he entered in his room and sat down at his bed while huffing lil and then murmured under his lil up breathe... in his confused but lil provoked voice... "nahi I cant..i cant do this...what if she..she..she is too like her..what if I again get hurt..after all she is a girl..a women..a one who can snatch away anything from a man...(he stopped at the moment and then said again protesting to himself in soft voice..trying to convince is mind...in his lil soft voice..)..but she is too ..too like me..she she she is not that..she is too innocent..innocent like her'...her eyes...it its expresses the same...uugghhh..." he was too much confused...he sat on the bed keeping his right palm on his forehead in tension...and started moving his leg...in vibratory motion...in tension..just like a kid..yeah he was like a teenage kid only...who used to move his leg in vibratory motion in tension...but was a broken one...

After half an hour...
She was there ..on the dining table..was eating her breakfast...just then she heard his footsteps..she gulped the toast in lil fear...but didn't turned back to even look at him..Pretending that she doesn't even care...he came from the back and was lil shocked by looking at her for the first time eating in front of him but he was happy...he smiled to this and went upto dining table and served the toast to himself and sat there leaving two chairs in between them..trying to make lil distance from her..both of them ended up with their breakfast...and then moved to the kitchen to keep the dishes but no one spoke even a single word...he was lil tensed by her behavior.. she was mum...but he knew by the spark in her eyes that she was a far better than the last night...he smiled to this and went in the living room...and started reading the newspaper...but soon his attention was all taken by a sound...a sound of something like utensils banging against each other...he looked here and there and then peeped up to the kitchen to check up the things...and the next thing which he witnessed gave him again a pain..a newly known pain...which he had started feeling up for her...she was weak...her hairs were messy..her face was pale..her eyes were looking heavy but she was working in the kitchen...was washing the utensils..the dishes...he felt it to be not right...he slowly started stepping in the kitchen with a fear... Fear of circumstances..he wanted to talk to her regarding this..he wanted to ask her to stop all this work and take rest but he was afraid...afraid of the consequences..what if she tooks him in her wrong list...??? What if she gets more hurt by him...??? What if she leaves the home right now...??? What if she fell weak again...??? He was scared but he was determined to ask her...he peeped in the kitchen while hesitating a lil... and stepped towards her... She viewed him from the corner of her eyes but didn't turn to face him...she felt her nerves getting tense..she was afraid of him... a no. of question too ranged up in her mind...frightening her...like ..what if he was there to use her...???? What if he again was there to hurt her..?? and the most important one... what if he tries to befriend with her...??? yeah she was the most scared by the thought of befriending with him..she sensed him coming closer..and also felt him about to say something..but before he could say anything she spoke up in her determined voice..Predicting to be rude and strong...trying to stop him..her fear... in her authorized voice.. "mr. shikhawat...me aapke ghar ka sara kaam kar dungi u don't worry..."and after saying so she left from there keeping the last dish on the slab...ignoring his eyes contact...leaving him again in pain...he really felt bad..but was not now in condition to talk to her because now he was more afraid of the circumstances...his deeds were not allowing him to do so...

He again went upto the living room and sat there reading the newspaper...while keeping his eye on her...she was working in the whole house..and he was feeling bad for her..was guilty..wanted to ask her to stop this and take rest but his deeds were not allowing him was frightening him for the upcoming results...so he chose to kept mum and keep an eye on her..for her help...she cleaned the whole first floor and was huffing a lot..she was moving to the up floor ...was just taking the support of the railing of the stairs...she was weak...and he was just eyeing at her with guilty eyes peeping out from the newspaper...but soon he witnessed her loosing her balance..yeah she was on verge of falling down but he quickly rushed to her and took her in his arms..protecting her against the floor..she looked at her with her heavy closing eyes and then murmured under her breathe while closing her eyes in heavy tired half voice... "leave me..."...and then she got faint up at the moment...whereas by looking at her like that he got lil panicked up and within the next month took her to his room...he laid her down on the bed and called the doctor...he was just panicking at the moment..was roaming here and there his guilt was just eating him up.. a no. of questions regarding her health were roaming in his mind..just then the doctor arrived at his place...and knocked at the door..he welcomed the doctor and the doctor after checking her informed it to be as mere weakness thus giving a lil relief to rd and then asked rd to take care of her and to give her the proper rest...he nodded to this and dropped the doctor to the gate..

He came back to his room and went up to her..he gain felt a lump in his throat...he was BEING ATTACHED to her...was locating himself in her..his eyes got lil moistened up...but he quickly hold up himself back.. and said in his cheered up voice while looking at her... "common randhir you can do it..you can face her...common you can help her..."

Recap: rd taking care of

sanyu...something to come up..suspense

I know it was short part solly but don't worry m going to give you al another part by tomorrow itself..rajini kasam aaj mera jaagrad... I will write it up at night dearu's

Auth's note:hey guyz you guyz may have found it in the story that rd is finding his happiness by helping her..reducing her pain...he is attaching himself with her...it has a reason... it actually happens like that only when a person undergoes through a lot...he gets unable to find happiness by his own...he tries to find happiness by helping other.. becuz the only thing which he assume is that he cant make it right in his life but he can make it right in others he can help others to not to be in this...its like a kind of help to other which helps one's inner self..this was what happening to him...he was finding his happiness to soothe her...to bring her up ..bring him back...