The Armful *Updated*

"The Armful

For every parcel I stoop down to seize
I lose some other off my arms and knees,
And the whole pile is slipping, bottles, buns,
Extremes too hard to comprehend at. once
Yet nothing I should care to leave behind.
With all I have to hold with hand and mind
And heart, if need be, I will do my best.
To keep their building balanced at my breast.
I crouch down to prevent them as they fall;
Then sit down in the middle of them all.
I had to drop the armful in the road
And try to stack them in a better load."

~Robert Frost

What touched me today was this undertone that was there throughout the episode...one of the deep sense of care that Raman carries on his shoulders for all his loved ones. From the 1st scene of the episode where he calmed down a distraught Amma to the freezing shot where he went to relieve Adi from getting sucked further into Shagun and Ashok's drama...every scene found him in the role of a caregiver either as a husband, brother or as a friend. And what a perfect partner has he found in Ishita...who matched him in every stride standing right by him to extend her support to lift his spirits or going with him when they went to Ashok's to pick up Adi.

That little scene in their bedroom..where the two apparent strong supports to their family opened up their vulnerability to each other...how somehow they both felt responsible for the turn of events. Loved that little moment where she laid her head on his lap and his hand resting on her head...extending unspoken support to her.

Then when he started sharing his guilt, she was right back up being the stronger one and rationalizing how it was beyond their control what happened. And when Mihir was consoled by Raman...the silent communication between them seeking each others help...How attuned they were to each other. Absolutely touching.

Notes:

::Updated::

Gan, this is one of your most beautiful collages. I have no words! You've really outdone yourself with this! I"m in awe at your ability to capture such depth of emotion. And it can't go unnoticed that you've focused on the various roles that Raman fulfills.
I don't look at your collage or read anyone's thoughts until I've seen the episode and meted out my own thoughts, as I'm afraid doing so will influence my take. Seeing your collage today, and that Frost poem (which is one of my favorites, and very apt), told me that the episode touched you the way it touched me...and that your thoughts mimic mine. I haven't read your thoughts yet, but I am sure they will only enhance the depth of the collage and poem.
I think today's is going to be one of my favorites from you.

I was deeply moved by the episode today; I found it to be incredibly bittersweet. Despite the painful truths, the heartache and heartbreak, I felt there was a constant undertone of hope - that while it wouldn't be easy, as long as they were in it together, could lean on each other, eventually, everything would be okay. Hence the choice of song for today.

***

"A true relationship is someone who accepts your past, supports your present, loves you and encourages your future."
~Unknown

"She collapsed. I stepped forward and caught her. I thought of two trees nearly uprooted and leaning against each other."
~Peter Heller

***

A Heavy Heart.
A Vortex.
Broken. Shadows.
Your Hand in My Hand.
Gentle, Comfort.
A Gleam in Your Eyes --
Reflecting My Own.
A Light from Within --
You.
Strength, Hope.
Renewed.
Life. Love.
Anew.

***

Yeh Safar - 1942: A Love Story

Yeh safar, bahut hai kathin magar,
Na udaas ho, mere humsafar.

Yeh sitam ki raat hai dhalne ko
Hai andhera gham ka pighalne ko
Zara der isme lage agar
Na udaas ho, mere humsafar

Nahi rehne wali yeh mushkilein
Yeh hai agle mod pe manzilein
Meri baat ka tu yakeen kar
Na udaas ho mere humsafar

Kabhi dhoond lega ye caravaan
Woh nayi zameen naya aasman
Jisse dhoondti hai teri nazar
Na udaas, ho mere humsafar

***

A beautiful episode with subtle nuances about the complexities of our relationships.

Today, I saw two beautifully broken souls putting each other back together so that they would be strong enough to share & shoulder the responsibility, the pain and grief, of the ones they love.
Raman.
Today, we saw a man care for and comfort his family - as a son, brother, husband, friend...
...as a confidant, guide, and pillar of support.
And finally, when he had a moment to himself, he sat, contemplative, vulnerable.
Feeling inadequate again - as a man, unable to care for and protect his family.
A Failure.
'I failed.' - she told him.
A sister, a daughter, a wife - his strength.
Joining in her husband's vulnerability - there, in that space that was solely theirs -
in which they could share in their sorrows, allow for a moment of weakness, then lean on each other for the strength to carry on.

*

The scene plucked at the deepest corner of my heart. Two shattered souls, finding solace in each other. How far they've come. Their unspoken understanding, their unrelenting support.
She walked in and, as if she could read his thoughts, negated his guilt by speaking of her own.
Defeated, disappointed in herself, she lay her head on his lap;
He rested a reassuring hand on her head and at once, reclaimed the guilt in an attempt to free her of the agony & self-doubt.
(I have no words to describe the beauty of it. The beauty of them...in these quiet moments when they let their guards down and share in their vulnerability, and then wrap one another in a blanket of insurmountable love...My heart is full.)

*

Just a few fleeting moments of shared despair, and their selfish self-pity came to an end.
I found Raman's lines about Ishita thinking of others first and then herself to be ironic, because, isn't he the same when it comes to the ones he loves?
I couldn't help but see the similarities in his consoling Mihika yesterday and Mihir today.
A shoulder to cry on, then a stern voice of reason.
Yesterday, he helped Mihika see the error of her ways; today, he guided Mihir so that he would not err - helping his brother learn from his own mistakes.

It cannot go unnoticed how IshRa work as a team.
Yesterday, when consoling Mihika, seeing that she was getting nowhere with her comforting words, Ishita gave Raman but one look and he intervened with his firm voice of reason.
Today, when consoling Mihir, seeing that he was getting nowhere with his firm words of reason,
Raman gave Ishita but one look and she intervened with words of comfort.

*

I don't know what it is about these two...they're like a beautifully haunting symphony that fills you up with peaceful unrest - one that touches something deep at the core of your being.
My heart, is Full.

***

Love.
P

PS: It's now 5 AM and I've been in a food coma all day...please forgive me for rambling.
Hopefully I was able to make some sense.

PPS: I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with Adi tomorrow.

Will update later tonight.

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Edit:

I just watched the episode and I loved it, I don't know if it's the sadist within me but I see in brilliance and endearment with Ishra hurt 😕 and I loved their tiny conversation in their own little cocoon that they have built in their bedroom.

The episode coupled with your beautiful collage reminded me of the following nazam by none other than Gulzar saab.

Mere kapdon main tanga hain tera khushrang livaas

Ghar pe dhota hoon har bar usse aur sukha khe phir se

Apne haathon se usse istri karta hoon

Magar istri karne se jaate nahi shikhne iski

Aur dhone se gila shikwon ke shikande nahi mit te

Zindagi kis kadar aasan hoti

agar rishte hote livaas aur badal lete kamizon ke tarah

-Gulzar saab

I will come back and update with my thoughts about today's brilliant episode, it definitely stuck a chord with me.

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Update

I do not know what it is about these two characters but every interaction of theirs just pulls me in, their nuances, their inner struggle, their battle with the world, their plight, their love, their dependence while being independent and their camaraderie, everything about these two broken and damaged characters just makes them ever so perfect in my eyes. *fangirling alert*

As soon as I finished watching the episode and especially the scene where we find Ishita-Raman sitting on the floor with moist eyes, broken and shaken because of their surrounding relationships, it reminded me of the nazam above by Gulzar saab. It is always difficult to chose a favorite amongst gems but if I had to chose this would one of my favorite nazams penned by Gulzar saab because it reflects on the reality of life by using the most mundane action: changing clothes!

Ishita and Raman are both intertwined in each other's life so much so that their clothes contain each other's fragrance but the same clothes also contain some dirt and blemishes of the past. No matter how many times they wash their clothes and iron them, neither the fragrance of their love abandons their clothes nor the complicated dirty spots of the past. How the wish they could change the relationships around them like we change clothing, wouldn't life be simple if we could just go buy new relationships like we buy new clothes.

Even the most valor knight needs support in the darkest hours, Raman-Ishita stand tall in the face of crisis; they become the source of support, a voice of reason and the strength needed to walk on the right path for their families but these two knights are also human and need support. In the sanctuary of their bedroom, they do not have to act brave, strong and pragmatic, here they can be honest with themselves and lay out their innermost fears out in the open. So we see a wife apologizing to her husband for being the source of all the problems in the family because she failed as a sister and we see a husband apologizing to his wife for being a source of their problems because he failed to get a closure on his past. We see a husband pacifying his wife by taking up all the blame and we see a wife pacifying a husband by bringing in reason and transferring the blame to the unfortunate circumstances.

I loved how she kept her head on his knee and him pacifying her like a little child by caressing her head, I loved how he moved down from the bed to the floor, to meet his wife who was surrounded by self doubt and guilt, he lowered himself to share her guilt and pour out his heart. It's 2 AM here and I am getting droopy so I'll stop typing but I can go on and on about this 2 minute scene.

Sorry for the abrupt end, sleep beckons and someone is getting angry lol

I'm sorry for the late post, but i've been caught up with life and watching epis late too!!

This epi definitely was about emotions and of relationships!!!

Of shame of defamation

A mother distraught by the dirty allegations on her daughter and worried for her future.. And a family that rightly calms her down and explains to her that the girl needs to be supported at this time

Of deceit and blamegame

A friend who thought he was doing good but ended up doing more bad! And he was rightly told that by the very guy responsible for the whole mess. Mani may be a great friend but his tunnel vision refuses to make him see things beyond Ishita and that often ends in more trouble for her!

Of realization and confrontation

I loved, loved and loved the whole Simmi-Parmeet confrontation.. More than all the slaps and beating he got from the brothers, the one slap from Simmi was the most resounding and the most praiseworthy.. There was a time when she had help Ishita's hand for trying to slap her husband and even slapped her in her blind faith in the creep. Today, when she has realised his true nature, it was only fair she slapped him and rightly said he was unfit to be a father and asked his brothers to beat the crap out of him.

Of misplaced guilt and feeling responsible

The Ishita Raman scene in the bedroom was just so poignant at so many levels.. While one feels guilty for not having understood her sister, the other feels guilty for transferring all his problems to the other. While one feels responsible for her sister's state the other feels responsible for his wife's state! While one tries to relieve the other of guilt, they both just want to be there for each other and calm the other down.

Of hurt, betrayal and being explained

Mihir and Raman have always been a very special pair. All their scenes have been special in one way or the other. And the way they have been there for each other speaks volumes of the implicit trust they have in each other. Mihir was rightfully hurt and if he felt betrayed that his fiance didn't find him trust worthy enough to tell him what was going on, he was very right. The way Raman explained Mihika's approach may have been wrong but her intent wasn't was just too good. He was a way with words and it becomes too difficult to not agree with him in the end.

Of ignorance and self centeredness

Mihir may have thought Shagun is stupid to be going back to Ashok but she is by no means stupid. She knows what she is doing and all her moves are calculated. She may have been ignorant of Ashok's plans, but she is sure a firm believer of "ignorance is bliss". All she cares for is herself and her life and it was no wonder then that she chose to be ok with a man saying he got seduced on his wedding day!!!

Of rightly placed guilt and the consequences

In all these days, Mihika hasn't said conflicting words like she did this day.. She says she set fire to her own house - so right.. She was a fool on various levels to have even tried to play this dangerous game with a self confessed creep. But immediately after she asks "what did u do Ashok?" now what did she expect? That a guy who sees a woman seducing him will just let go of the opportunity? But she did have to feel guilty!! After all, she was the one responsible for all this mess! But feeling guilty and fighting it to redeem herself is the way ahead and the only hope is that henceforth we will only see Mihika doing the right things!

Phew.. 😊 think this is enough for today!! Thanks Gan for allowing me to vent here!!!🤗

Shameless Param probably smirked his way out of the Bhalla house. This is round 3 of maar-peet for Par-meet but he craves for more periodically.