Polemic Jackanapes#3: Complete [NOTE + BLOG LINK Pg69]3rd Jan - Page 20

Waiting Twiggy ... 😛

Chapter 32:

Arnav revelled in the quiescence of the rest of his days at Kanyakumari. He started each day with a visit to the temple, but kept his visit brief so he wouldn't miss the sunrise at the beach. On his second day in the town, a view of the sunrise and the sunset had been on his agenda. But he had been so enchanted by the sight that he decided to make them a part of all his days while he was there. He was fascinated by that aspect of the beach - one that offered a view of the rising sun as well as the sunset. In fact, he had been lucky enough to catch a full moon rise just after sunset on one of the nights. It had been the most beautiful sight he had ever set his eyes on - the only thing that dazzled him even more than the sparkling eyes of the deity in the temple.

It was as if the little town had embraced him with open arms, caring for him like its child, fulfilling every wish. Now on his last day at there, his mind ran the many things he had witnessed during the trip. He came across something remarkable everyday, spectacular either in its grandeur or its simplicity. That morning when he entered the temple, he knew he was late for the morning aarti. However, much to his surprise, it started only after he had finished his prayers. The delay, he heard someone say, was because the flower girl had had a little accident and had been unable to bring the flowers on time. He had seen the sprightly girl rushing into the temple during some of his visits. He chuckled as he thought about it - even the gods and the mightiest of priests were powerless in front a little girl. He wondered if she understood the significance of it. All the priests and all the devotees, none of them could do anything till she graced them with her presence - and her flowers, of course. Garlands of jasmines and mogras, baskets full of rose petals and tulsi leaves - she brought with her the fragrances that made a temple out of the idols. He realised then that there was nothing big and nothing small, nothing more significant than another, no truth bigger than another, no action above another. Everything had to come together to bring meaning into existence; there was no rainbow with only six colours.

In the evenings, as he watched the golden sun make its way for dusk, he often felt like it was nature talking to him - sometimes seducing him with the soothing cadence of the waters, the cool breeze that teased his body, the mesmerizing beauty of the sun that seemed to be calling out to him, enticing him to leave everything else behind and be one with them. He thought the closeness he felt with nature in those moments was almost tangible, he had to just reach out and he'd be subsumed by it.

He let his conversations with the nature take over his mind and his body, enjoying the way the forces came together to soothe the creases on his forehead; allowing the intense connection he felt with them to consume him. It made him feel closer to God, or whatever universal force that held them all together. His mind was void of other thoughts then - of people, of possessions and of his past. His wondered what it would be like, to let everything go and spend the rest of his life here. He could bask in the warmth of the sunrise, and let the shining moon in the dark skies lull him to sleep every night. Did he really need anything else? If he decided to be selfish, would it make any difference to the rest of the world? Was he willing to give up everything that had defined him so far? He thought about the many things and people who made up his life, and smiled to his as he quickly realised that the answer was a no. This feeling, though priceless, was ephemeral. The nature comforted him so because it was like his mother - he could always find comfort in her arms whenever he wanted, but he couldn't spend his life there.

His life was with Khushi, because Khushi, to him, defined love. His life was for his grandmother, who had spent a lifetime being a parent as well as a grandparent to him and his siblings. He would make sure he fulfilled every one of the dreams that she had given up in order to raise them and enjoy the peace that came with age - one she had been deprived off for so many years. His life was for his sister, who had spent her life ensuring that he and Aakash were never left wanting of their mother's love, working hard to keep all those memories alive. His life was for Aakash, who had often been the elder son in the family whenever he had been too self-absorbed to notice anything else around him. Most importantly, his life was for himself. To live a full life, to be with his family, to enjoy a life with Khushi, to live all his dreams, to work and take pride in it, to help all those he could - something that was a privilege that came with his work, to indulge himself when he felt like, to go skydiving and snowboarding and white water rafting, to buy himself a Rolex someday, to make memories and to cherish them.

He knew what he needed to do. The finest moment of trip readied him to go back to his life. He felt lighter than ever before; the tensions that had been building up in his body for so many years eased as he dusted the sand off his trousers. A gentle smile adorned his face as he walked back to his hotel for check-out.

* * *

He decided to check his mail one last time before leaving the hotel. Both Khushi and himself had been preoccupied lately, him with his trip and Khushi with all her work. Clearly, the load had been a lot more than Khushi had expected, and her vexation was evident. Since their days were busy, they had resorted to writing emails every night. He realised it was a wonderful way not only to tell her all about his day, but also to recollect all the events and relive the day - even the little things he'd missed. Khushi on the other hand used the emails to vent her frustrations. Things were moving at a snail's pace at her end, and her patience was hitting rock bottom.

He saw there was a new mail from her in his inbox. He hoped she had some good news to share.

Dear Arnav,

Last day in Kanyakumari, huh? I'm sure you must already be nostalgic. Have some naariyal paani before you leave, okay?

I hope you found what you were looking for, Arnav. You and I both know this wasn't just another holiday. You don't have to explain, or perhaps you don't even have a real answer yet. But just tell me if you are a step further from where you were when you took your flight to Kerala?

Things are a little better here. We've had four uninterrupted hours of electricity for three days now, so we've been able to set up our gasifier. More importantly, we seemed to have finally struck a chord with the locals here.

I have to admit, I didn't try hard enough before. I was so lost in my own problems that I missed what was obvious, I missed the palpable exhaustion and misery that these people are forced to live in. They are making the best of what they have, and I see why they don't appreciate intruders. It seems others have tried to set up plants in this area twice before - once a solar plant and then a briquetting unit last year. Both times things didn't work out because of logistical issues and these people were left heartbroken. In fact some of the farmers gave up part of their farmland for the solar set-up, and now those fields are unfit for cultivation.

What I thought was crude arrogance was in fact fear and hopelessness. They have no faith any more, Arnav - they don't believe that they will ever year long access to electricity, to drinking water, to good schools, to a good life. What can be worse than this, Arnav? What can be worse than living a life with no hope at all?

I've made one friend here, this old man who works at the local post office. He is the only one who doesn't hate the city people just yet. He is talking to the villagers, trying to warm them up to us, you know? I've also been taking more effort to speak with them. I don't know if I can get them to trust us, but a little help from their end can speed up things here. We have the machinery but very little manpower. We need more hands.

We are both on different ends of the spectrum that is our country, Arnav. You are enjoying the magnificent beauty that it has to offer, I am seeing the ugliest sight I have ever seen - of complete bleakness and poverty. If Papa has witnessed even a fraction of this during his childhood, I see now why he was so terrified of the possibility of me landing up in the same place. I also see why Merchant made me do so much background work. He wanted to be absolutely sure that this would work.

I am almost scared now, Arnav. What if it doesn't work? What if we too let them down? I cannot even bring myself to imagine it, Arnav. This HAS to work. I found myself praying this morning, you know. I don't know why I took this up in the first place - on one hand, if this works, I will have something to be proud of for the rest of my life. But if it doesn't, I will never be able to sleep peacefully. I feel like I have seen too much in less than a week, and I am feeling so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can do this.

But I don't have a choice now, do I? You believe in prayers, don't you? Please pray that this works, Arnav. I have never wanted anything to work as badly as I want this to.

I miss you so much.

Love,

Khushi

* * *

Arnav did send a prayer before riding his way back to Thiruvananthapuram. He wished to see her wearing a proud smile on her face when she returned.

Res

This is your finest chapter and writing, Twigs. Peace and hope. The self and the selfless. This is beyond beautiful.

Twiggy, this was just beautiful.As Khushi said, they're experiencing diametrically opposite environs . I loved Arnav's travels through Kanyakumari. Makes me want to take a road trip. I find myself rooting for Khushi. I fervently hope it works out for the villagers. And for her sake. Maybe this will make her see that her education could really help out people, and she'll value it more. As she learnt to value her father's fears.

This solitude will hopefully bring a positive change in Arnav.
Khushi on the other hand is going through her own experience.

Each one will learn something good out of it.

Emotions, thoughts and observances have been beautifully expressed.

Lovely chapter Twiggs.

This was so lovely..

both finding some thing about themselves and life...lets hope they cherish each other more..loved it