My thoughts and feelings and wishes and ramblings

I have to start with how this all began, the day before Big C news got leaked Rudra and Paro were going to consummate. The forum exploded it was night for me I was sooo happy and I went to bed to sleep to get up five in the morning next day running to my laptop just to catch SBS clips. But no what do I find articles of Paro death on first page. At first I was shocked I thought it was a joke and it was mayhem on the forum. I was too numb with grief and my immediate reaction was to post saying I am going to stop watching RR and it is all over for me because I am averse to tragedies. I think we all know what happened for one week after, it was tears everywhere no one enjoyed the SR, I watched it like I was sitting through a funeral. I deluded myself in thinking Paro and Rudra will end up happy in my head and I am going to stop watching and block everything out. I desperately wanted to believe it would not happen so that I can take back what I said and continue watching RR. But alas that did not happen even now I will not associate the d word with Paro. I didn't watch Paro's d episode because she lives on in my delusions where Dhruv, Rudra and Paro have a wonderful happy life they deserve. So it is over I have to keep to my word RR is done for me.

I am going through the five stages of grieving process where I heave long sighs at work and even confess to my friend that I am sad over a serial. She looks at me as if I am mad. I really start to think what am I really sad about losing Rudra and Paro or losing Sanaya and Ashish. No matter how heartbreaking it was to lose Rudra and Paro my heart sunk further thinking I have lost Sanaya and Ashish. Truth of hindi serial land is that two actors will never act together as lovers again, I have seen it in tamil, but not in Hindi if the couple is not married in real life, one such couple is Hiten and Gauri Tejawani who have acted together in multiple serials by ekta kapoor. This is the last hurrah for Sanaya and Ashish, not just for RR but for this couple as well and for the audience who will never have the honour of seeing them again together. I have always said they are epic and they will go down as one of the greats of all time. When this thought it hit me it is like I walked into a wall, I came home went first to my laptop to watch the episode after leap. All for Sanaya and Ashish who are beyond words have the most amazing onscreen chemistry never seen before.

I am watching the Myra entry episode and my mind is swimming with thoughts. I am not done with the grieving process so naturally the mention of Paro I get tears in my eyes, but I remind myself I am putting myself through this emotional torture for Sanaya and Ashish. So I am sitting there thinking what was it about Rudra and Paro that was so epic and what will it take for Rudra and Myra to work for me. I just don't want to sit through the episodes like a zombie I want to start enjoying R again and not be depressed. So back to Rudra and Paro why their love was epic, this is what I saw these two were equals in their loss maybe the degree of suffering could be different but they both suffered before they met. I don't think many of us talked enough about how much Rudra respected Paro as a human being, it was that respect that translated into this soulful love. Rudra's tortured soul connected with Paro's soul because he knew she would understand, she has known pain, she has healed herself and she can heal him too. It was that respect that belief in Paro that helped Rudra eventually move on, heal his wounds and be the ideal husband.

Can Rudra and Myra have that kind of respect no they can't. No it has nothing to do with Myra clothes, hair or how she talks it is her life and who she is. Simple thing Myra has not suffered any loss. When Paro met Rudra he had lost his mother and he had an awful childhood that was the extent of his suffering that is what Paro had to work with. Come to Rudra now he has lost his wife, his parents everything that Rudra cherished his very breath is stolen from him so the Rudra we see now is even more shattered. Yes on the exterior he is no longer a jallad but from the inside he is more dead than before. How can a man like that connect with happy go lucky Myrah, who has lost nothing, who is miss princess, life on a golden platter with manicured pedicure nails, why would Rudra even consider a girl like her can understand his pain. By Sanaya own admission Myrah has no depth. So I am thinking what will these two ever have in common, how can they ever build a love story if there is no emotional connect. Is it all about Dhruv, I want a mommy so marry her daddy, or is it oh she looks like Paro game over lets get married. I don't want to see that I want to see a love story, nothing will ever come close to Rudra and Paro of course but they can try and for it to have any chance of working Rudra must love Myrah for who she is period.

I got thinking how is this love story going to work they got to do something about Myrah they got to give her a loss. I am watching today episode and yes I saw some hope we got Rohit. Serials and movies have done this widow love remarriage formula to death, there is nothing I mean nothing RR creatives can do that will be unique, every formula is tried but hey if you are going to steal steal from the best. Myrah needs depth so she needs to lose something she needs to lose her friend, her love, she needs to lose Rohit. I was thinking back to Hum Tum and abhishek bachan character short and sweet and tragic. Sanaya and Ashish have already established their pairing, their chemistry is blessed by serial gods and forever immortalized. So we don't have to worry about another temp character/second hero coming in for Sanaya to take away focus from Ashish.

My wishes so everyone has met everyone. Dhruv has met myrah, Rudra has seen her, Myrah knows about Paro, Rudra and Dhruv know about Rohit, and everyone is on the same page. After Dhruv's initial mummy calling he knows the reality and makes Myrah his good friend. Rudra runs away from Myrah initially but he is a professional and he has a job to do. Introduce Rohit, he is really Myrah's best friend, they do want to get married to each other, he is a bloody awesome guy. Rudra is not jealous or anything infact seeing Myrah and Rohit together makes him believe in love again. Now kill off Rohit obviously if it in an accident then that has less impact on Rudra because he is protecting them and we don't want him to fail. I think if Rohit dies after they get married the impact is much greater. Now we got a love story. By this time Rohit dies Rudra knows Myrah quite well he is fond of her like a friend and is hurt at her loss. Now there is some basis for emotional connect between them. This is a girl who has lost nothing and her first biggest loss could drive her to despair. One of the great things about Rudra and Paro relationship is that Paro desperately needed Rudra to physically protect her, and Rudra loved that, emotionally Paro protected Rudra. We have seen role reversals of every significant event in RR not this one maybe it is Rudra's turn to be there for Myrah emotionally, why because she is not Paro. Rudra will want to genuinely help Myrah given his own past. Rudra can share with Myrah his pain what it is like to lose someone you love over such a short amount of time so shockingly. Both their loves taken away before they had a chance to live and before they had a chance to say goodbye.

Look alike love stories are usually a cop out and you know why because they all make the same mistake. Writers are so busy establishing the duplicate to have the same personality as the original they often forget original is irreplaceable, audience doesn't want that I will sit and watch a new story I won't give up my original. Rudra and Paro are immortal, they can't be xeroxed, recycled or repeated. Nothing can beat Rudra and Paro emotional connect they had a doll, a bus, a terrorist, all out gun battle, dead bodies and a 15 years wait for god sakes, it is legend they are true soul mates. I also don't want to see Dhruv delusional and latching on to Myrah as a mommy. Rudra should want to be with Myrah for his own sake not because his son emotionally blackmails him, this is also done too many times can we please not go there. RR is not punar vivah in its core it is still a love story, maybe passionate part of the love story is gone with Paro but can we still hope for love.

OMG I WROTE SO MUCH I don't think all this jibber jabber made any sense.