Kurukshetra War - II
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Yudhi StrategyKrishna:Pitamah has decimated our army. We must stop him by hook or crook.
Abhi:(excitedly) I am ready to die.Krishna:(patiently)Not now. Your time will come. Any one else?Yudhi:I have a full plan ready. Pitamah is killing our army faster than we can count. Hence I have hired professional mourners and also extra priests to perform rituals at night. I am hiring messengers to give sad news of demise to their families. They will receive honorary titles posthumously. I am also negotiating with suicide armies like Samshaptak's to die on our side.
Abhi:What about me ? I am ready to die too.Yudhi:Later my putra.(Abhi is disappointed) Right now, we can still spare 2 akshauhini to sacrifice while we keep on looking helplessly with disbelief at Pitamah. Dear Nakul, Sahadev please keep few backup chariots ready as Pitamah is particularly fond of destroying your chariots.Nakul:Jyeshta, did you notice our professional slow motion jump from the chariots each time when Pitamaha forced us out ? All foot soldiers were proud of us.Yudhi:I did. But please try to co-ordinate with Pitamah. Last time you jumped even before Pitamah took aim at you. As for you Arjuna..
Arjuna:I did all I could. I stayed transfixed in my chariot. My look of dismay, horror and sadness was spot on. I even managed to keep Gandiva from being knocked off by Pitamaha's arrows which he threw casually by hand.
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udhi:I cant imagine what else you could have done under circumstances. Good job. After all you have Krishna to guide you.
Krishna:(impatiently) Any ideas how to confront Pitamah ? We must KILL him.
Yudhi:Oh that's a good idea. I was super busy with death administration and management project so did not get time to think about it.
Abhi:As I mentioned, I am born to die and ready to sacrifice myself.
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rjuna:(sadly) We cant do any harm to Pitamah. (brightening) May be he will have a change of heart by the time he ploughs through entire army. How I wish.. this war has never taken place.
Krishna:and how I wish Arjuna.. that you have asked my Naraayani sena instead of me. I could have saved myself repeating zillionth time that we must slay Pitamah.
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Bheema kills 20 KauravasBheema while fighting with 20 Gandhari's sons..
Bheema:Today, I will kill you all and fulfli\ll my vow.
Suvak.. you were laughing loudly and whistling during VH.(Tears open his jaw and kills him)
Bhimavega, you do enjoy clapping, when some woman is in pain, dont you ? Dont expect clemency for being name-sake. (breaks his hands and fingers and kills him)
Nagadatta, how can I forget you jumping with joy ? (breaks his legs and kills him)
Ugra, I will teach you a lesson so no one will dare to ogle and wink shamelessly at helpless woman.(Pulls his eyes out of socket)
Kunda(Gandhari son): (Really scared)Well I had a bout of upset stomach and was in toilet during VH. I admit I was enjoying but for reasons unrelated to VH. Do you still plan to tear apart my bum ?Bheema:Now your turn to die Balaki..
Balaki:But I am not one of Kauravas. I am a humble gaurd.Dury:(listening from within ring of fire) COWARD. You dare to lie just to escape death. You mean you are not my brother ??
Balaki:But Maharaj, I am really a guard. One day, your real brother Balaki was talking to me when intoxicated, you entered the chamber and asked me to dine and wine with you and ordered him to station outside. You started calling me Balaki. I am with you since then.Dury:(confused)Really.. Well.. I have 100 brothers and am bound to make mistake. But where is Balaki ? Why no one corrected me ?Balaki:He serves as your bartender and masseur maharaj. We were all perplexed but then reasoned that perhaps you preferred me as your real brother. Thanks for all the fun by the way.Dury:(angry)Wait till sunset you phony Balaki.. If Bheema leaves you I will make sure that you get proper massage from Balaki.----------------------------
Dron VadhDury and Yudhi as usual engaged in exchanging/revealing their war strategies.
Dury:Bhratashree, I have devised a clever plan to kill you all. I have added poison in your dessert. When you eat the pudding tonight after the war, you will all die. HAHAHA. Beat this..
Yudhi:(alarmed) Sahadeva, quick. You know what to do.
Intelligent Sahadeva quickly runs back to camp to dispose off the pudding.
Yudhi now desperately in need to impress Dury..
Yudhi:Priya Anuj Dury, your plan is nothing. I have better plan. Today, anuj Bheema will kill Ashwatthama elephant and we will deliver Gurudeva a false news that his son Aswatthama was slayed to compel him to lay down his arms and we will kill him.
Dury:(alarmed)Dushy my dear bro, quick. You know what to do.Dushy:Ofcourse Jyeshta.Later, Dury is aghast to find severed head of Gurudeva.
Dury:I dont understand how this happened. We already knew their plan.
Dushy;Bhrata, it is our fate. I immediately decided to change the elephant's name and retired to my tent to think of a good name. After hours of deep thinking decided to name it Asvatthama with "v" instead of "w". But by then it was too late.. our Gurudev was killed.
Dury:But did you inform Gurudev of Pandava's scheme ?Dushy:Oops !!! Edited by Cotswolds - 11 years ago