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There was no better sound than that of the lock clicking open at the end of a long day. The extensive practice sessions had begun to wear on him but Swayam knew that when it came to dance, no amount of preparation was ever enough.
It was late, he was famished, but his legs seemed to have a mind of their own. Before he knew, he was lying oblique, on his bed. It had been two years since Swayam had moved to LA and he had only now become accustomed with the pace of the city. As of late, he had been rehearsing with his crew to perform at a prestigious event, where he hoped to catch a few eyes. His head was pounding, he knew he shouldn't have had those last few drinks but his friends were in celebration of wrapping up the run-throughs and who was he to say no.
As he ran his hand through his ever growing mess of a hair with his eyes shut, his thoughts drifted back to a certain someone. They always did on nights like these, in his drunken stupor, when his brain was too clogged to filter out memories that he had bolted deep within. On nights like these, they streamed freely through his consciousness. You are an awesome dancer. Her voice resonated within his core. Tremors transpired as he recalled the feel of his touch on her skin. You are and always will be the most beautiful person in the world. He had inscribed these words for her, because it wasn't just her face that was alluring, the most exquisite was the persona that dwelled therein. I love him the most!. The sentence spoken with the speed and frustration characteristic only of her. His Siren. Swayam giggled like a young boy on recollecting her face when she had blurted those words unintentionally. The dances performed, the slaps dealt, the tears shed, the laughs had, all flashed by. You still love me? The tribulations of the "trial" relationship. Mein apke bete se pyaar karti hoon. The immense joy of having his love reciprocated. Sharon aur mein ek couple hain. What rubbish. Aise kuch nahe hain. Tumne aisa soch bhe kaise liya. The agony of heartbreak. By the end, things had taken an ugly turn. How could anything, that had begun as something so pure and innocent, leave them both so damaged and hurt?
He had hated seeing her that way; desperate, jealous, angry. He had hated being this way; alone, depressed, frustrated. But too many things had been done, too many words had been said. Their relationship had become toxic, destroying any evidence of what he had once cherished and loved. It was ruining them, making them unrecognizable versions of themselves. He had known then that he had to go away after college, for both their sakes. It would mean forsaking all your friendships, abandoning D3, his brain had argued. He had been well-aware of the stakes. Most would have called it a cowardice, a betrayal. That he was running away, taking the easy way out. And perhaps he had, but that hadn't made things any easier. Only he knew how difficult it had been. He and Rey. Swayam had had to tell someone, or else he would have never gone through with it. Rey had understood, she however, had hated him for it. If only I could tell you how much this cuts my heart, if only I could spin the wheels of time, hold you in my arms like that day at the camp, when we had so much love and so little trouble, he had thought then, the wishful thinking had done little good. With that he had left. She had stayed with the group.
He reached into back pocket for his wallet, opening it and lifting a photo from within. He opened his eyes, feeling the wetness run down his cheeks. The photo did no justice to her smile, yet he couldn't take his eyes off it. Sharon. He repeated the name like a mantra, over and over again. We have to work on ourselves Rey, both me and her. But I will be back. That was a promise that he had made to Rey and himself. I will be a better man, and she her better vivacious self. He hadn't said anything to her. Asking her to wait would have been incredibly selfish. But if they truly were kindred spirits, time would be of no consequence. Or at least that's what he told himself. Chances were that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, that his leaving had made her lost to him forever. And that was his curse. The thought that tormented him every time he made himself vulnerable to the past.
He wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Swayam closed his eyes once again, pressing the photo against his chest. I love you Sharon and I am yours, forever. And with that last thought he drifted asleep.
Dr Aarambhi
Anupamaa
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