Hey! Hope you all remember me! If not, it's me Mihika, a VruShan lover and late SwaRon lover. :P Wrote something on current track, so thought of posting it! If you like it, I might continue it... Please do say if you like it or not in the comments! They are encouraging!! :D
Sharon sat on the last vacant seat of the bus, towards the window and heaved a sigh of relief. More than Kria and Rey, probably it was she who had suffered, and not to forget, because of her stupidity. She didn't know what had got into her mind.. Why did she even ask Swayam to stay back... She was so stupid... She mentally face palmed.
Mumbai was at a distance of a few hours so she had to spend those hours somehow... She didn't want to talk to anyone, but just pen her feelings down. She took her bag and took out her diary from it. Taking her favorite pen, this was gifted to Swayam by her on their first anniversary, and started writing a diary entry.
Half an hour passed... Sharon was done writing... She felt much more relieved, and was even more happy that no one, not even Swayam had seen her doing this.. After all, nobody knew that even she used to pen the slightest of feelings and store them so that she could feel lighter and so that she could go through the same after a period of time.
Sharon was tired and exhausted...She herself didn't know when she dozed off... But she did... Eventually... The girl wearing denims and a pretty top slept, and she looked peaceful, and contented...probably she was thinking something..something which was bound to cheer her up.
This did not go unnoticed by the person who was looking at her , admiring her, even without her noticing it. The gang was sitting in the front part of the bus, while both Sharon and Swayam were at the back seats. Swayam wanted to catch some sleep, but he couldn't resist admiring the alluring beauty in front of him.
He walked towards her, no one saw him, and sat near her.. She was peacefully sleeping, he couldn't help but admire her innocence, and she looked so beautiful even while sleeping...he felt as if she was internally happy about something...He kept looking at her, when all of a sudden a book fell off her lap. For courtesy's sake, Swayam picked it up, and accidentally read what was written on the first page "Sharon Rai Prakash- My diary."
Swayam at first didn't know how to react to it... yet, he slowly took it and went ahead... She was soundly sleeping and he knew it was wrong to read someone's diary, but he was just curious... Even a diva like Sharon Rai Prakash kept diaries.. He suddenly felt he knew very little of her... He didn't even know that she kept a diary. Huh.
He opened the page which was bookmarked first... She had written an entry on that day itself.
4th February 2014
I don't know how to begin this entry. Today's day has been...adventurous..yet scary...and now I feel so heavy, so weird..so vulnerable... I don't know what to say.
Remember that Alok whom I found weird on the very first day I came to the village? He tried to molest me today... and he was behaving in a weird fashion..such a weird and a disgusting manner .. initially I thought that he was a fine and nave person but never knew that people like him also exist in this world!
Anyway he's a spineless oaf and if he can't respect women, he surely does not deserve to live on this planet! I don't regret saying this...the way he behaved twice with me was unpardonable and me...even after all that happened for the first time, I had the balls to go to him only and only because of my big fat ego!
I feel like crying. I really do...whatever I am , strong, broad minded, and not fearing anyone kind of person, at the end of the day I'm a girl and I did feel bad, actually horrible when I was being molested... had Swayam not come there, I don't know what would have had happened with me.. I should have listened to Swayam...
Sharon, you know yourself that Swayam knows you better than you do... still why don't you listen to him.. If you want to, do give him attitude because you can't bend anymore now but you should have listened to him!
I should have listened to him...else I wouldn't be feeling so vulnerable... Gosh I miss you Swayam.. I miss you so much in my life... I want you back... I just need you back.
Swayam got a bit emotional after reading so much from Sharon's point of view... still he couldn't fathom what she actually meant. After the last line, he saw that the following 4-5 lines were smudged.. Probably she had been crying a bit. He was surprised as to how the girl could hide her emotions and not let anybody see that she was upset. Actually upset. She didn't even tell anyone that she was molested by Alok.
Swayam continued reading from the part that was not smudged.
Swayam asked me if I was alright after we came out of the room... Heck! How was I supposed to be alright? Couldn't he understand this?? How could I be alright? Can anyone be alright after being molested??? I was almost on the verge of breaking down in front of him but held myself back... I don't know whether he still loves me or no... but one thing I know is the amount of self respect he has for women.. He would have saved any girl who would have been molested...
The thing is that, I don't want to show to him that I'm affected.. Neither do I want to, nor I can... For god's sake I don't need him to pacify me. When he affected me after we broke up, he didn't come even once for talking to me and clearing the matter... probably he doesn't want me back.. But if he doesn't.. I'd better not impose myself on him. If he wants, he'll surely come back to me... I know.
Sharon.
A lone tear escaped Swayam's eye as he read everything which was there in her heart. He did come to a conclusion that probably he was dragging everything a bit too far, due to which she was behaving rudely with him, and she didn't want to buckle more, because he was not giving a damn to her efforts which made her upset...He didn't trust her like before, is what she felt and maybe somewhere it was true. He didn't trust her that much... but he still loved her.
Yes, he wanted her, but at the same time, his heart was afraid of going through heartbreak. He needed her, although he was scared, he knew he wouldn't be able to take such a shock again... Nevertheless, he believed that time was the best healing factor. He didn't know what to do.
Swayam looked at Sharon, who was peacefully sleeping oblivious to the fact that he had read her diary entry. But at least, he came to know what was going on in her mind.
The bus came to a halt and everyone jerked ahead. Sharon woke up due to the force, but she still looked sleepy. Swayam saw her and thought of returning her diary, but changed his plan. He decided to keep the diary with him only, so that he could read, what actually she was feeling.
It turned out to be nothing and Sharon was disappointed because her sleep broke due to the stupid and sudden halt which was taken. She went back to sleep.
Swayam smiled at her innocence and then looked at the diary. He turned the pages of the small girlish book, hoping to read about some nice memories.
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