*Meher*
I walk into the restaurant clutching my heart for support. It has been 6 months since i have been to this place.
It is not like i am counting or something , good riddance is what I got from that good for nothing marriage. Nor have i been hiding from the places we went together.' I try to convince myself feebly but it sounds pathetic even to my own ears.
I hated Chinese anyways only tolerated it for him, so there was no point of coming back here' I try harder this time.
My feet pull me towards our table on their own accord like they've suddenly gotten a will of their own.
I sense him even before I see him. Though his back his turned towards me, I know it is him. I could recognise him even with my eyes closed. He is . . . I mean was such an important part of my life . . . of me. I had so meticulously avoided seeing him or coming across him all these months and now I had commited the worst blunder. How could I not have contemplated that he would be here.
Seeing him after all these months hits me harder than I had imagined. He looked just the same but still he looked so different.
He is wearing the same black t-shirt he always wore. I remembered the t-shirt with impeccable detail; it had skull and bones painted in white on it and read -"dangerous for the heart". Apart from the ridiculous text I remembered it because abeer would wear the shirt at least 4 times a week driving me insane.
I think more than loving the t-shirt he enjoyed the expression I gave him when I saw him wearing the t-shirt and cringed saying "not again!!!" His eyes would sparkle as if he had been given the best compliment and he would start blushing just to rile me up further. But I loved that expression of his, the sparkle in his eyes made my day. Reprimanding myself for going down the pointless memory trail again I pull myself back to reality just as he turns around to call for the waiter to take his order.
For a brief second his eyes meet mine. His eyes speak to mine conveying all that they had seen in these 6 months while mine do the same. They tell stories of pain, love and heart break. We assess each other to see any noticeable change in the features which had happened in the time we were away from each other. My eyes roam all over his body while his survey mine.
Hah.!' Our hearts laugh at us. If only wounds of the heart were visible to the naked eye. You'd be covered in scars.'
My eyes stop at his t-shirt for a brief moment. I cringe to myself thinking somethings never change.'
His eyes almost light up with the same spark at my expression knowing exactly what I was cringing at, but midway he stops himself realising we weren't that meher and abeer anymore who could laugh at his ridiculous shirt.
We were strangers.
As he pushes his chair and stood up, I stand fixed to my spot not letting any of my emotions make me week.
He always bought me here when he was upset about something and needed to be cheered up. I start getting worked up trying to figure out what must be wrong with him, before realising what he had realised moments ago.
We were strangers.
Our shoulders grazed each other for the briefest part of a milli second as he walks past me making my heart beat loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.
We were strangers.
But we were the most familiar strangers.
---------
*Abeer*
How can she still react the same way to the things that were part of our past. Doesn't she know she lost the rights to be my meher' when she signed those divorce papers which I never thought she would sign.' I fume to myself as I enter my empty house.
I remove the damned t-shirt, throwing it onto the ground before trampling it with my feet and then dumping it into the dustbin.
I don't want any reminders that can bring back those wretched feelings and memories.
It was a stupid idea going to that restaurant. What was I even trying to do?' I scold myself as I pull on my vest and track pants.
I open my wardrobe to pull out the orange shirt she had given me. It would meet the same fate that the black t-shirt had met. But the moment I reach the dust-bin my hands don't move.
You can't do it no matter how much you try' my heart laughs at me.
I finally give up trying.
Draping the shirt around myself, which still held her essence from when she would wear it to bed saying it was her comfort wear, I settle into my bed hoping to get some sleep.
I went to that restaurant to find peace of mind.
What an epic fail that was!' I laugh at myself.
Never again' I promise my heart telling it I would never put it through such a torment again and closed my eyes awaiting a sleep which would never come.
Arjun
