Mehbeer TS: Him And Her-Part 3-Page 4

TeekhiMishti thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
Kyunki dar se nahi sadism se duniya chalti hai 🤣 Tried writing in some what different style since i got bored of the same kind of writing. If you guys want to suffer more i can definitely write a couple of more parts for this 😉 Only if you liked this though. 😆

HIM AND HER

Dark clouds covered the sunny skies. Every bit of colour had faded from the surroundings. Trees were shedding their leaves. It was like even nature was mourning what was to come.

In a secluded, abandoned corner of an empty street, two people met for the first time as strangers. Strangers-That is what meher and abeer would be from that moment on.

Their hearts cried to them to not let this happen.

Their eyes beseeched each other to stop it.

Their souls begged them not to part from one another.

But they were too blinded by hate, pain and ego to hear even their own hearts pleas.

Her shivering hand gave abeer the papers which would end her life as meher abeer malhotra and take her back to being meher purohit.

His numb fingers got extended on their own accord to take the papers which would kill the abeer he was forever.

The skies started pouring rain as if trying to wash it all away. Meher's eyes were only on abeer she was worried for him, of what this might do to him.

She stepped a little closer to him and opened the umbrella she was holding to shield him from the rain.

He walked away from her, realising anything was better than standing here with a stranger who wasn't his meher anymore.

----------

Resonating thunder could be heard throughout the house. A huge storm was approaching.

He stormed into her room, frantic and delusional.

She rushed behind him, scared and terrified.

Abeer smashed one thing after the other in her room, breaking open anything that could hide the one thing he was looking for, smashing anything that came in his way.

She tried to stop him.

He didn't want to be stopped.

All her clothes lay in a mess on the floor.Her drawers fell separated from their tables. The bed covers were ripped away.

His hand reached for the paintings.

Her hand reached for his, trying to stop him.

The paintings were smashed to the ground. Exposing what he was searching for.

She was too weak for him.

He was too strong for her.

The locker held the one thing that could destroy, the very foundation they had built their life of 8 years on.

Her truth.

His delusions.

Everything came out into the open as the locker door flung open and abeer held the cheque in his hand.

2.5 crore in the favour of meher purohit from kuber malhotra.

His 8 years of hatred washed away as he realised she had never committed the crime he blamed her for.

Her 8 years of strength crumbled to dust as she saw guilt, pain and love replace hatred in his eyes.

The rain stopped. The storm subsided. Everyone waited with baited breath to see the climax of the story that had come to an abrupt halt 8 years ago.

She stepped closer to him trying to bring him back from the dark place he was in.

He walked away from her realising she was his meher all along, but he wasn't worthy of being her abeer anymore.

PART 2

PART 3

Edited by --Ari-- - 10 years ago

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asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Hey Ari!
This is a really good first part to the story. I love how it resembles the story track of the show and the part where Meher opens up the umbrella reminded me a lot of the initial promo. Using pieces from the actual show is a really good way to set the foundation for any fan fiction. Plus, the fact that Meher might not have taken Kuber's money in the first place is definitely a track that has been though by many people. It will be really interesting to see where you take this story along from that line of thought.

Even grammatically and spelling wise the story is written well, which is usually the first step to keep me hanging onto a piece. 😆

Do write more parts to this. 😳
Edited by asmaanixx - 10 years ago
war_is_peace thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
mast OS ari 👏
i love my hero doing tod-phod...mast tod phod kiya abeer ne bichaara 😭 ab woh kya karega? 😭

par yeh OS bass ittuu saa hai 😭 😭
tuune toh story hi khatam kar daala 😭
ab aage likhe ...i dont mind reading a few 100 more parts 😳 😆
tereliyex thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
😳I LOVED it!!! <3<3 Can't wait to see Abeer begging for forgiveness from Meher!
I love sad stories hehe
TeekhiMishti thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: war_is_peace

mast OS ari 👏 *takes a bow* shukria 🤣
i love my hero doing tod-phod...mast tod phod kiya abeer ne bichaara 😭 ab woh kya karega? 😭 and i love tadpaofying my hero. so take a hint 😉

par yeh OS bass ittuu saa hai 😭 😭 all good things come in small packages 😉
tuune toh story hi khatam kar daala 😭 sadism kabhi khatam nahi hota 🤣
ab aage likhe ...i dont mind reading a few 100 more parts 😳 😆 dont tempt me 😉

TeekhiMishti thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: -Ishana-

😳I LOVED it!!! <3<3 Can't wait to see Abeer begging for forgiveness from Meher!

I love sad stories hehe


And i love meeting fellow sadists who love seeing the hero suffer 🤣
thank you so much for your valuable feedback 😆
TeekhiMishti thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Hey Ari!

This is a really good first part to the story. I love how it resembles the story track of the show and the part where Meher opens up the umbrella reminded me a lot of the initial promo. thats where i picked it up from. 😆 Glad you made out the reseblence 😆 Using pieces from the actual show is a really good way to set the foundation for any fan fiction. Plus, the fact that Meher might not have taken Kuber's money in the first place is definitely a track that has been though by many people. She most certainly would not have used the money. plus theres so many storylines that could be explored by the show its inspiring. And it will amazing if something like this really takes place, seeing abeer blow up in rage and then in guilt would be so yummy to watch 😆 It will be really interesting to see where you take this story along from that line of thought. i am glad i caught your interest 😆 hope i am able to match that 😛

Even grammatically and spelling wise the story is written well, which is usually the first step to keep me hanging onto a piece. 😆 the fact that i am grammer nazi and OCD freak who reads my own stuff 10 times helps alot with that 🤣🤣

Do write more parts to this. 😳 on it 😉

TeekhiMishti thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8

Because SADISM never sleeps 🤣


PART TWO


The fallen leaves were flying around without knowing their origin or their destination. The moon was hiding behind the clouds while the stars disappeared all together. Everything was dark just like how his life had become.

He closed his eyes trying to block out all the pain.

She wiped her tears trying to erase all evidence of the pain.

The home was filled with memories they had created with each other. Their first meal as husband and wife, their first fight as husband and wife, their first anniversary, their birthdays every moment of happiness they had ever experienced was captured in this house.

She walked into the house one last time, to take it all in.

He walked away from the house, not having the courage to face it all.

The best way to forget pain they say is to forget your-self. And the best way to forget your-self is to drown your-self in alcohol. The pub's closing time came but he was nowhere near forgetting.

He walked with a bottle in hand, taking swigs from it, on the road not taken.

She walked photos in hand, memories in heart, through memory lane, one last time.

The car coming from the other direction never had the chance to see abeer before crashing into him. Their wedding photo album was opened reminding her of all the beautiful memories.

And for a moment ended,

His misery,

Her pain.

---------

The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. Flowers bloomed to wish good morning while birds chirped their hellos. But she couldn't shake off the feeling of dread; the feeling of de-ja-vu engulfed her.

The phone beeped carrying the news she dreaded.

Abeer in city hospital, Critical.

- Nisaar

She rushed to him, battling the fear of losing him forever, for the second time in her life.

He fought with himself in a battle for survival, to see her one last time.

The hospital took her back 8 years.

This was where she had stood 8 years ago begging his father to let her see him one last time, to make sure he was ok.

This was where she was handed a cheque of 2.5 crores as re-imbursement for her love and asked to walk away forever because he wanted nothing to do with her.

The circle of life had finished its full course.

She walked towards him this time, instead of away from him.

He waited for her to come to him, instead of pushing her away.

The door to the hospital room swung open,

His smiling eyes met,

Her tearful ones.

After all the pain, mis-understandings and hurt, After 8 years of misery,

He took off his mask of fake hatred,

She accepted that she never stopped loving him.


PART 3

Edited by --Ari-- - 10 years ago
asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
Wow, this part was super sad. I almost cried. 😒
Again, I loved how you used their situations to parallel each other and have them converge at the end. But even in the ending, there were so many contrasts. However those contrasts didn't contradict with each other but rather complimented each other so well.

Another thing, I really like your style. You have their internal musings separate from the actions. While the actions determine what the internal musings will be, the main emphasis and central part of the story remains what Meher and Abeer think of each other. I really, really like that.

Nice job! :D
Edited by asmaanixx - 10 years ago
tereliyex thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10
Ariii!!!!

My sadistic heart has gotten pleasure 😆
I'm so happy you updated quickly! Lurveee it! Abeer in city hospital had me like 😭
I wanna see Abeer groveling for forgiveness!!!! 😲 😈

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