@sowmya_jairam
Sharadrocks, , first of all being in love once does not mean it is forever. Otherwise, there would not be divorces and multiple marriages/relationships. If Onir and Ovi knew that the persons they were going to marry didn't love them at the time of marriage, it is not wrong of them to have the expectation that they will never be loved. And it is definitely expected that their spouses trust them and respect them, even if they don't love them right away.
It's not just a commitment from one side when a marriage happens. Purvi did not do a favor to onir by marrying him, and it was not enough that she did not have a physical relationship with arjun or someone else to work on her marriage. He didn't even know who had fathered purvi's baby when he married her; and he didn't care when he did know it was arjun. When she agreed to marry onir, she also gave a commitment--to work on the marriage, to try and make it happy and successful for both of them, to trust him and try and love him. It does not matter if onir asked her to marry him or that it was a marriage of convenience; it was a commitment and hopefully, a lifelong one. That's what everyone hopes for when they get married, isn't it? Same with arjun and ovi. To me, it never seemed like arjun or purvi truly worked on their marriages. It's not that they tried and failed, they didn't try at all. And no, they don't need to meet every so often to discuss pari. Not when they knew their relationship was misunderstood by their spouses and the rest of the family. If they wanted to make their marriage work, they would have stayed well away from each other. It is not very difficult to do if one really wants to.
Like I said, if they cannot stand being away from each other, then they should divorce their spouses and get together. But neither are they working on their marriages, nor are they separating from their spouses and letting them move on while they figure out their lives. What is the meaning of arjun begging ovi to come back when he knows he will always love purvi, like you said? What is the meaning of purvi feeling bad that he didn't care about her as before when she really did not care about him at all? Isn't that much too much expectation? Since onir and ovi knew that purvi and arjun didn't love them when they married them, they should be happy with what they're getting even if it's nothing? They shouldn't expect anything more from their spouses?
No, love does not necessarily last forever, This is exactly what Onir and Ovi gambled on. But they seem to have lost, as of now! Nothing much you can do about that! Of course they have the right to expect emotional and physical fidelity from their partners. But if said partners are unable to provide the same, it would be sensible to cut your losses and move on! Why hold onto someone who claims to want you and then acts to the contrary! Which is what I think they are doing, More power to them! . Yes, people go into a marriage expecting it to last forever. But it does not, many a time! Nothing much you can about it. This is true of any marriage. In this case, they went in with odds stacked against them. They have to bear the consequences of their decisions! I am not saying that they do not have the right to expect anything. Everybody has the right to everything. But the reality is often quite different. I found Ovi's expectations extremely unrealistic to begin with. This was her best friend whose relationship she was wrecking for her own happiness. And then, overnight, she expects him to forget his love and serenade her? In the first place, even when he's agreed to the deal for Purvi's sake, he is bound to resent Ovi for initiating It! All of us do things that we are coerced into doing at times. But do we not resent having to do it? After Purvi's subsequent pleas, Arjun tried to do what he could. He initiated physical consummation. I think we are adults here, Both of us know that the body is susceptible to stimuli. It does not require emotion to consummate. The body is more under the control of the brain as opposed to emotion. If he still thought of Purvi, he was plain helpless before his emotions. He is a man who probably does not have a stranglehold over his emotions. He is a weak man maybe. How does that make him evil though? He certainly won't win any awards for the best husband, You and I would probably not want him. But Ovi wanted him and she got him. I feel terrible for Ovi as a woman who was stubborn enough not to accept reality, who made a decision impelled by her emotions without giving a thought to reason. But, if I can feel terrible for her, why can I not do the same for Arjun? Why should I reserve my compassion for Ovi alone when she is the one who triggered it all off? I feel both anger at their collective stupidity and compassion at their collective pain!
Yes, Purvi did not do Onir a favour either. In my opinion, neither did he. She would have survived even otherwise. All this crap about najayaz and society is just that, there are enough single mothers around who survive. the flower seller on my street got dumped by her lover when she was pregnant, She is just seventeen and has no education. She has kept the baby and continues to sell flowers. her family has not thrown her out on the streets, Her fellow chawl walis don't throw stones at her nor does society. We all happily buy the flowers that she sells. The flowers smell just as sweet, even if they are sold by someone whom the morally upright would gleefully call a s**t, a despo and what not!
Coming to Onir, he chose to marry her and not vice versa. I would feel personally very affronted if someone offered me pity or gratitude sex. As Onir rightly was! Yes, Purvi agreed to work on her marriage. And she probably did till her past came back. She may have eventually moved on and even tried to love Onir. I would say the same about Arjun. Unfortunately fate intervened and bound them, together with a child besides. Tough luck is all I will say!
I think Arjun is terrified of the moral police aka Sulochana and Archana. Maybe that is why he wants to bring Ovi back. And he feels guilty for not being able to give her hat she wants. But I think he is being unfair to her, She wants all or nothing. And if he cannot give her all, he should let her go!
On meeting for the sake of the child, I still maintain that forbidding contact is not the way to go about it. Allow them to find their peace. And respect their personal space as two adults who are in in relationships with other people and who yet share a child. It happens all the time. Treat it as normal! I am a firm believer in personal liberty and freedom. As an adult, I do not allow my family to tell me what to do. i would be affrotned if they had no faith in me! So, my opinion is going to be different on this always. I guess we should just agree to disagree 😊
Btw, on the hypocrisy count, who is not on this show or even amongst us all? All of us are! Some of us are willing to admit to it while others are not. That is the only difference!
That's a court in PR land. I doubt a real court would endorse intentions while assessing crimes; maybe length of punishment but not if it's a crime or not. And neither onir nor purvi have ever admitted to themselves that they were wrong. Telling others the intentions expecting them to understand why they did what they did is ok; but when did they ever acknowledge --to themselves--that they did wrong with ovi? With arjun? And that was wrong, no two ways about it. They don't need to be understood by themselves, do they?
Intent is always going to be considered while deciding the quantum of punishment in a court of law. That is why you have premeditated murder as opposed to manslaughter! As for accepting their wrong,, maybe the creatives don't want to waste time on such niceties. But I want to give them the benefit of doubt since they have never said they were right! If they think they are, then they certainly deserve to be institutionalised
My comments in black
Edited by sharadrocks - 12 years ago