Originally posted by: archis_2013
So your women's lib says that a wife should sleep with her husband when she is not ready at heart?
Is it the same women's lib that made you see if Arjun had slept with Ovi knowing fully that he is going to leave her and her relationship, it was well and good?
What I truly don't understand is that when you don't feel sorry for Purvi when her family who selfishly used her sacrifices, point a finger at her being adopted, how are you feeling sorry for the big Ovi who ruined her own life by going after a man who had repeatedly told her he did not love her? How do you feel sorry for the big Ovi who did not know how to make and keep her marriage successful?
Purvi did not use Onir and turned his love against him. She did not stab him at his back, she did not marry him in a barter transaction or she did not leave him to fend for himself. She had asked him to replace Ovi's dead baby with her live one without thinking through what that would mean for Onir if the truth came out. Her emotional need to comfort Ovi and get their marriage on track clouded her ability to think. And her husband was fully aware of what he did and its consequences.
If not for Ovi, Purvi would have been Mrs. Arjun Kirloskar; If not for Ovi, Purvi would have lived a life of love, riches and comfort. If not for Ovi, Purvi would have been in Pune having a safe delivery and would have gone back to her charming Kolkatta house with Onir; If not for Ovi, Purvi would not be in the current state being ridiculed by one and all who shamelessly have used her sacrifices before.
Archis - If Purvi was not on the scene, Ovi would have had the same life but with happiness...instead of the sorrow..ofcourse she called for it..but Arjun was committed to Ovi first and it was always Purvi who came in between...Arjun was not right for either girl, but Purvi should too have kept hr distance knowing what this alliance would mean for Archana and her already in shatters martial condition with MAnav and the D family. She did not care then, but suddenly one deal changed her mind? No one asked her to sacrifice, so her sacrifices need not be lauded by anybody...she made that CHOICE for herself each and EVERY time. So it is only sensible that she bhuktoes her own choices. That is how life works for all of us.
My friend, every coin has two sides.
archis dear,
women's liberation was never a point we picked up..it was a friend of yours who harped on and on about education and judging women who pick at other woman's misery...I am sorry, but we were simply harping on her words, none of us touted women's liberation as our point in any post. so let us keep our idea of women's liberation out of the way.
If you ever read KC, you will see how badly most of us have admonished ovi for that deal, for drinking during pregnancy and even for making purvi out ot be chor in that pooja...Even, when she showed heartlessness about letting purvi die during the kidnapping, I had lamented on her ill-tempered mind...Also, when she was accusing purvi, I had written a post saying she should come off her blind horse of arjun and ask him questions first because he runs off to purvi all the time not vice versa...So, yes coin has two sides and we can see both sides of it fortunately, unlike most purvi jaap-ers on this forum.
As for feeling sorry for purvi, hilly will reply to your post for her take, but I will say this, when she agreed to that dumb deal, I had given her the benefit of doubt of being stupid and the sad feeling of being in debt to her family...I had felt for her when she was crying alone in the balcony and both archana and sulo had failed her as her support..one was honeymooning and one had left her crying outside to catch up on her own beauty sleep...I felt miserable for her. And I truly felt despite her stupidity, she did not deserve this, because the fault lay on all 3, not just her.
But, when she falsely labeled Ovi's insecurities as her reason to run away, instead of admitting that she was pregnant and saving everyone this huge mess, I felt she wasn't just stupid, but manipulative as well. When you look back at this, a lot of people have said that purvi giving in to that deal was selfish too! she not only wanted archu's happiness by sacrificing arjun, but also the family meant a lot more to her than arjun and his love..She wanted manav baba and sachin dada and savita aaji and teju all to love her and this was the only way to redeem herself in their eyes. So everyone looks at purvi a different way. I will honestly say, that I felt bad for her then and I felt no adopted child should feel this much debt of being adopted EVER.
It is post marriage, all that eye-locking ( which also first 2-3 times I felt was warranted cuz u can't gt over your love so soon) , and the one year anniversary where she knows she is pregnant but runs away saying for ovi's insecurities...that blame game was when I lost all sympathy...he incessant poking her nose into other's business may seem sacrificial to you and a ton of others, but to some of us it is simply being manipulative and prick in the butt to other people...she has no right to manage anybody's life in the guise of being mahaan, especially manage arjun's marriage for him...he is at fault too cuz he listens to her and lets himself be directed...
Her baby swap was the last straw of any sympathy I would give her, and also her ridiculous treatment to Onir. She uses him and has not an ounce of thought for the soul who has given up EVERYTHING for her whims and fancies..ofcourse he is to blame too for being as blind in love as arjun, but she is the one who likes manipulating men with her tears and tyaags.
Simple reason for us to dislike her. She makes her own choices, no one is forcing her to give up baby, or to marry Onir, or to even run away. Everytime she HAD a choice. She makes things messy for herself and others and that is why sympathy is not accorded to her. Plus, major hassle is she NEVER learns from her mistakes and ALWAYS thinks she is right, no matter what. There is simply no insight into her tyaags that have caused so many issues. She still maintains baby sway was bhalai, but she gives no thought to the idea that Ovi lost the chance to mourn her dead child, not see his/her face and never get closure to that. As a mother, she paraded around garnering sympathy for HER dead baby, when there was none. That was so ridiculous and cold of her.
Ovi, why we like her is, is simple fact that she is on the face. Yes, the deal was underhand and she has suffered a bad marriage for 1 whole year. Done. Now she has realised her mistakes, she has apologized to arjun, (she owes nothing to purvi) and she has walked out of her marriage, because she could not take it anymore. All her earlier bad mannered behavior had changed and she had softened up to purvi, she had mourned her dead child with her, and simply accepted their past. The baby swap was a horrible betrayal for no fault of hers. No woman deserves that. Yes, her marriage with arjun was bound to fall apart, and you would say she deserved to suffer, because SHE MADE that choice. The baby being discarded like trash and instead raising the love child of her husband was NOT her choice and should never be meted out to any woman.
she has gone, left and started her own thing back to her own world. She has left Arjun-Purvi to re-unite, make babies or raise babies, as they wish. She has apologized for her drinking, for the misconception that purvi had taken arjun from her when he never was hers, for troubling arjun by accusing him all the time. She has paid and apologized with insihgt into her actions.
What has purvi done ? Any insight into mess? Any feeling sorry for Arjun and what she has done to him? Any way to give back to Onir after causing him his career for her BS whims? She has smply no insight, and no thinking sense..She still thinks whatever she has done is right, is bhalai, and warrants tears and understanding not reprimanding...
Simple difference betwene ovi and purvi..while one is real and human, one is unreal and tries to be GOD...
as for sleeping with husband, I myself put a post that her nonsensical request to Onir is so shitty because if she doesn't feel it, she does nothave to force consummation with him...she should have a heart to heart and give him that much respect...instead, she as usual, foolishly, takes the aaji's words and thinks she has to be mahaan and give herself up to onir...No insight into marriage as usual...No respect for her husband...if she is not ready and he will see how awkward she is being, isn't that going to hurt him? But no, aaji ne bola, marriage pe dhyaan do, and this is what she takes from it. Not because she wants to give Onir pati ka darja, but because somone told her to.
Anyway, see, I think, nor you nor me can change each other's thinking so let's just agree to disagree on purvi and ovi. I wanted to reply on the woman's liberation part but this became a long post explaining my POV. Sorry about that!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
