Sulochana and Savita's meddling:Mod note Pg14 - Page 6

Savita's comments on "sadak se uttayi hui bachi"has got a lot of heat, partly because only a portion of her line has been continuously quoted (and that can be easily misconstrued). From what I remember from watching the episode she said "no one will adopt a baby from a street , if they come to know that she is responsible for breaking her sister's marriage". It isn't simply that she was cursing her being an adopted by saying sadak se uttayi hui. It was more to the fact that ppl, will think twice to adopt if they think an adopted girl destroyed her step sister's marriage. There is a little difference here, for she is right that ppl will think that way, for gossip mongers aren't going to check any facts, to them, she is the adopted (or girl adopted from the street) girl who got pregnant by the jeeju (and now because of this her, Ovi has left him) and her hubby Onir was responsible for the baby swapping...what will an onlooker conclude? So, that was Savita trying to say, ppl will lose faith in adoption for they will conclude that adopted kid can destroy a family...This is based on the whole dialogue and not just a part to misrepresent its meaning or the meaning that the character was trying to convey..

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Savita's comments on "sadak se uttayi hui bachi"has got a lot of heat, partly because only a portion of her line has been continuously quoted (and that can be easily misconstrued). From what I remember from watching the episode she said "no one will adopt a baby from a street , if they come to know that she is responsible for breaking her sister's marriage". It isn't simply that she was cursing her being an adopted by saying sadak se uttayi hui. It was more to the fact that ppl, will think twice to adopt if they think an adopted girl destroyed her step sister's marriage. There is a little difference here, for she is right that ppl will think that way, for gossip mongers aren't going to check any facts, to them, she is the adopted (or girl adopted from the street) girl who got pregnant by the jeeju (and now because of this her, Ovi has left him) and her hubby Onir was responsible for the baby swapping'what will an onlooker conclude? So, that was Savita trying to say, ppl will lose faith in adopting for they will conclude that adopted kid can destroy a family'This is based on the whole dialogue and not just a part to misrepresent its meaning or the meaning that the character was trying to convey..

Originally posted by: coolpixie

lol..even though she said that, it is certainly wrong!

I'm not even going to go in the logistics of the whole baby swapping, but the baby happened before arjun and ovi's marriage so purvi didn't destroy anything and on top of that ovi is the one who really wanted to marry arjun back then and even blackmailed purvi to marry him. I am not supporting or defending either one here, but savita is certainly wrong in saying such things. It's not like she even raised purvi, and she doesn't even try to understand her one bit. Before saying it's wrong to adopt children like that because they can destroy families, she should think that it's wrong to adopt because they can get family like theirs who don't care one bit about them. If purvi was their own grand-daughter, this whole story would have been different. And what has purvi been doing till now? Paying back their ahsaan, which really wasn't even theirs, more like archana's. I am simply speaking this from an outsiders point of view and trying to understand the ideology behind savita's thinking which obviously isn't there.

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Well, even if the baby happened before the marriage that to an outsider is debatable. One has to look at this aspect from an Outsider POV. For to them, 1 day before marriage can be within 1 week of marriage. To an outside POV, that is a fact that Purvi looks like destroying the marriage. She doesn't have to raise Purvi or anything, the simple fact that Purvi is thought to be responsible for destroy Ovi's marriage is enough for her to tell Purvi. Not only does she say her to stay off Arjun, but she also tells her to concentrate on her own marriage to Onir, saying he is a gem of a husband. Besides, in a middle class family granny do meddle with everything even if they didn't help them raise for their reputation is at stake. She says think about our reputation - she isn't wrong as her family reputation is in question here...She didn't say it is wrong to adopt, rather ppl wil say that see what an adopted kid did...there are subtle differences. As for the family Purvi got, to anyone, Purvi will be lucky to be adopted in such a rich family - for in a normal fate she could be in some orphanage where she could probably be working at some handcraft job with not even minimal living condition to boast of - you know, in Indian (or rather anywhere), Orphanages doesn't provide much in way of luxury. God know, she might have really a horrible fate in an orphanage where there are stories that children get raped by adult and have nowhere to turn to. See this Pruvi is really lucky that Archana did adopt her...

But on a different note, Archana compared so many times saying how Indian kids were better than Canadian raised kid or that chote log were better than bade log...but I didn't see much debate other than in KC thread...what is Savita saying here can be also drawn parallel with those instances...again, as I look at these 3 issues...

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Dear Kalapi, everyone is a product of circumstance, that cannot be used as an excuse for these women. Purvi was not adopted into a rich family, the Karanjikars can hardly be classified as wealthy. And Archana didn't pick up Purvi from an orphanage, she picked her up after an accident, her parents 20 years were able to afford a car so obviously they were not too poor. Say no family had come forward to claim her and she had been placed in an orphanage, that doesn't necessarily mean she would have ended up in a "handicraft job" getting raped by an adult. She just as likely could have been adopted into a really nice well-adjusted family.

My daughter's best friend was adopted from an orphanage in Gujarat, my cousin's daughter (they have a natural born older son) was adopted from an orphanage in Delhi. Yes, Purvi's fate could have been different, for good or worse. We are all as I said products of circumstance, we could have been born to terrible parents, in war zones, or wherever. I am sure we will not be happy if anyone threw it at our faces, "well your fate could have been so much worse, you could have been left in an orphanage and that gives us the right to talk to you like crap." Most of us look at present circumstances not what fate could have had in store for us when dealing with life.

Similarly what Archana said or didn't say or whether it is mentioned exclusively on another thread should have no bearing on what Savita and Sulo did. I agree if Archana said (I don't remember her saying it ever) kids in India are raised better than kids in Canada that was wrong. But I don't see the logic in saying since Archana said that (about Ovi, I am guessing), it is okay for these two old women to lash out at Purvi.

As for people speculating when the baby was made before or after Ovi's marriage with Arjun, no one in the world can stop anyone else from conjecturing and that solely should not form the basis of Savita's behavior. Did she care when Shravani was an unwed mother and lived with them with Manav there? Did Savita care a fig for those wagging tongues when she orchestrated the divorce between Archana and Manav and arranged for the marriage of her divorced son with the unwed mother of her other son, both living under the same roof for months that too? Did Savita care a hoot for gossip when she forged the papers, wanted Archana to divorce Manav and separated the kids from their mother? Did she even wonder about what people thought about the bride switch the day of Ovi's wedding? She was too jubilant throwing that reception party.

Yes, we can all say we are objective and look at all sides of the equation, but we are only human and do have our personal biases. Savita is a hypocrite and it was uncalled for on her part to berate Purvi so. No one is begrudging her the right to advise Purvi even if Savita is not her grandmother, her style of advising, namely name calling and accusations are what is being questioned.

Originally posted by: coolpixie

Coolprix, if it was even Ovi in place of Purvi, I expect her to say the same thing. In fact, maybe even worst for she has raised her so there is more expectation from her. I know I could have. I have said it many time, it isn't really about adopted or about blood, the fact is that reputation is at stake, and no one in a middle class family takes it lightly, for reputation is their pride. Now about Ovi marrying Arjun, absolutely the tongues could go wagging, as could when Ovi's engagementthat broke and instead Purvi got engaged and then the marriage prep that follow. It could have been a scandal of the century, but it is never shown... nothing that remotely relates to a gossip is shown in related to Ovi/Arjun/Purvi triangle and marriage tamasha...PR is very lopsided - I guess Cvs only try to glorify Purvi...and isn't really showing the reality.

Purvi did get a very loving environment. She got the best education (as she said), all the attention and save environment...imagine the alternative (which could have gone either way, right... and the fact ppl almost always compare the worst that could have happened... and alas we will never know, same way we will never know what could have been Purvi's fate if Onir wasn't there). Then the fact that the estranged husband of Archana, came and accepted her... and even made her part of the Deshmukh's property, and even supporting her now ...by providing lawyer to her husband, money to Mittal to withdraw Onir's charges, can't just be dismissed easily). Everything comes in a package... so if Purvi has been accepted so openly can't/shouldn't be overlooked. Well, we can say, that was crude thing to say by Savita...but we need to understand the whole situation has created stress now, so ppl tend not to go softly when they are annoyed...never happened in my case. Besides, moms/ grandparents aren't really soft and understanding when things go wrong, they snap and react...understanding part comes later. Here, the whole situation is only evolving so the reactions are also sharp. Only Dk is cool here😆, which is absolutely unbelievable - can one imagine his reputation if his son is called a playboy linked to 2 sisters, what happens in reality?? Surely, a mega scandal that becomes a major gossip story and shouldn't sit well with DK too.

Edited by Kalapi - 12 years ago