Posted:
Dear Kalapi, you ask how did she show maturity? I will repeat as it bears repeating, the beginning of the marriage, she was suspicious, needling Arjun at every point, when she found out she was pregnant, she wanted an abortion until Savita told her the baby would cement her relationship with Arjun. She used the baby as a weapon to get at Arjun, drank, told him openly she didn't want to take care of her pregnancy because he cared for the baby not her (jealous of her own baby? immature to the height, I would say), even the baby flutters were treated by her like an unwanted hassle, then again her behavior with Onir, about the dinginess of his clinic, her wanting Purvi thrown out when she was pregnant, her accusing her of theft - surely all these are not signs of maturity? If you prefer to call it by any other name, such as selfish, manipulative, etc, be my guest. I was giving her the benefit because of her age and just terming it immature.
The weeks preceding the baby truth, we have discussed this before but I don't mind reiterating, Ovi had changed. She was happier, more confident and this lent her with a grace and magnanimity, even over the breast feeding incident. She was also more secure about herself and her position as Arjun's wife. She was no longer the self-centered spoilt girl who had turned up her nose at the chawl, asked her mom to ma'am her (before she knew of their relationship), she seemed to have found a new bearing and it suited her.
The baby truth was pulling the rug from under her feet, I readily grant that. The baby swapping was beyond terrible and her anguish is completely understandable and I have said in earlier posts I hope the CVs don't show a complete regression in her character as compared to the new maturity she has recently shown. I will not point fingers yet, the revelation has been recent and she may still overcome and realize that her marriage, Arjun and her little family are worth making a sacrifice for, forgetting the past and moving forward. Not saying this is what she should do, she stands at a fork, she can choose to leave him or stay with him. That is still entirely her choice.
Whether Arjun is worth it, is another matter entirely, I would say he definitely is, for he has learned his lesson, me thinks.
As for re-hashing the deal business, you asked me how I personally would have handled the truth, and I answered in all honesty. The deal would be integral to my reaction. The illegitimate baby here is not the result of an after marriage tryst or even the product of a pre-marital love affair that was hidden from me before marriage. If I knew about the alliance and went forward with the marriage, my decision would have been based on what had brought about that particular unwanted situation, in this case the deal that I myself put forth.
I did not blame ONLY Ovi for the deal. I was not apportioning blame here, I was not saying Arjun is not to be blamed, of course, he is. But again answering truthfully, if I married a man who was in love with my sister, I should be open to all the consequences of that action, no matter how or why my husband said yes, to the marriage. The fact he said yes, does not absolve me from my part in that bargain. He has his demons to deal with, I have mine, that is how I would see it. And as I said, I would be heartbroken to realize a baby came out of their alliance but I would have sense enough to fault myself too. And forgive me, in this going forward, I foresee Ovi having more sense that you perhaps do, I think she will realize that this was in the past and sincerely believe that she will emerge the bigger person than anyone gives her credit for.
Yes, any good parent or any girl with good sense would not have married a man who professed to be in love with her sister. I think that is just not done. I would not blame Archana and Sulo alone ( I understand you are talking about them agreeing to get Purvi married to Arjun), I would blame Manav and Savita too, yes even after the marriage, they never had a heart to heart with Ovi, even after knowing about the deal, Manav turned a blind eye, Archana at least put up an initial protest and did talk about it with Purvi. It is a parent's responsibility however old the child to at least try to impart some common sense to their offspring, if the child does not welcome the advice, so be it, at least the parent tried.
I will again answer your question to me about how I would handle the baby truth with your answer to my question. I would never find myself in that situation because I would not put my self-respect at stake and marry a man who loved my sister. And yes, neither would my parents who like yours held the strictest morals have allowed me to marry him.
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
