Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
Sid ...........although its horrible for parents to lose their children ...........each case has to be studied individually and acted upon that way .yes each case is different. We dont encourage my sister's MIL and FIL behaviour by saying they r right and my sister shud listen to them and do whatever they want. We also dont tell our sister to play games. We tell only tell her ur hubby is ur 1st priority in all the rishtas. Do what u think is right for u and ur family. The only thing we can do for jiju's parents is pray for them. In ur sisters case its better if she stays seperate and never goes to Pakistan to live with in laws .She will be miserable there .She is here with hubby. She stayed with the in laws b4. She was a good bahu to them (but she did answer them once) but she told her hubby that I will do my duty as a bahu but I cannot give any false respect and ur parents hav removed all the respect I had for them in my heart.
. The story I told ...........in that case the dIL was the exploiter . My jusband always says .....there r two classes in the world ...........Ones who exploits and ones who gET EXPLOITED . Sometimes MILS fall in both classes , so do DILS .
Sometimes , the aged use EXPERIENCE as a tool to play GAMES and harass the young couple out of pure jealousy ....coz they cud not enjoy youth due to restrictions What abt the parents who enjoyed youth fully and cannot see son and bahu doing the same?.So they cant bear to see son and bahu so young , healthy , happy . They create rift , pick fites , they insult bahus maayka ........what not .
Sometimes Bahus r strong headed , non adjusting , with very interfering maaykas
In such case MILS shud NOT behave stupidly like Sulochna and become bahus nOKRANIS and live with them taking care of grandkids . Taking care of bahus grandkids is nOT their job .........if they do it , its BONUS , their goodness .They brot up THEIR kids , their responsibility is over .Their old bones need rest .
Same way , bahus shud NOT beyond certain point take suffering galore from Such bad MILS . They shud move out , uncaring if society criticizes , if their conscience is clear .Let son manage the duty part .Thats what my sister is doing. She told him i dont like ur khala so I wont talk to her. U can talk as much as u want. He says my khala is like my mom😆 She also told him I dont like ur khandaan just like u dont like mine so I wont talk to them or call them from Canada. I HAVE to talk to ur parents just bcoz they r ur parents. If MILS r making their daughters wear bahus jewellery , making bahu work while nanands loll on beds , criticize bahu openly ..........In my sister's case, her MIL praises her as if she is the best bahu but plays games at home behind the son's bakBahu shud walk off or make herself financially independent .
I advocate financial independence for women .Then , if Even whole world turns against u .even hubby , U can STILL survive .We r NOT born in this world to DIE at the hands of an EXPLOITER human being .They whole world can go against u but not ur parents but we shud remember they hav other kids too. I agree financial independence is a need.
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