Was Versha in the wrong ? - Page 3

Hi All,

Originally posted by: minotti

Hi All,

I was surprised to read so many posts saying the same thing again and again.. Everybody putting the thread starter down because she genaralize the American culture... Well Aren't you all doing the same thing?? generalizing the Indian culture depending upon few news items or few people you came across during your visit!!

Well dear, the reason is that whenever we are talking about a region, a state or a country generalization is inevitable. Experiencing few relationship, having BFs, drinking etc IS norm in USA. Just because your parents have brought you up with Indian values and you dont do these does not mean its not american lifestyle.

I agree these things are not alien in India..but arranged marriages are still a norm here.. That does not mean everybody in India or America has same lifestyles....it just mean that majority of people in these countries follow above mentioned lifestyles..

My point here is, lets be open minded about it...Lets let people make generalization to express their view point....

As far as two cultures are concerned, I am sure both of them are influnced by each other.. Thats called evolution.....

Actually dear no we are not generalizing indian culture..we are explaining that india is changing and it is a good thing not a bad thing. To state that americans are ones that go out and have bfs and dirnk and go clubbing is a very true thing, but it is actually a normal part of society and we do not see that as a wrong thing because thats what we have seen growing up. Just becuase indians have started going against their parents and started being independent, is not americans faults, its their own decisions and that is by no means an influence that we have put on them. Yes I have been to india and seen many changes from my cousins getting tattoos to drinking at bars and having bfs, but for me its not a big deal, but it is a shock because its new for me to see, but I do not see it as a bad thing. And I have many cousins back in india that have not done arranged marriage, because their minds have opened to the idea of love marriage, and no one is saying that arrange marriages are wrong so thats a complete different topic you have brought up. And I tink I was the first one to state about having an open mind so I dont think that I need someone else to repeat it for me. And as for me when it comes to judging other cultures, heres the thing I dont, becasue I am open to any culture and their traditions whether its strict or free.

well back to the main topic....
i dont think varsha is completely wrong.
i mean i actually empathize with her...i understand where she is coming from! She wants to have fun and hang out with her friends. She cant stay at home her whole life doing nothing. Wake up, go to work, come back and do the whole thing all over again

Plus, she doesnt even get to keep her money? :$
wowwww....she's not allowed to go out and has to act like a good indian girl, but they take her money from her? shouldnt they do that with vinod? since he's a BOY and all that. *hypocrite*

Since her mom doesnt listen to her i guess varsha felt like she had to lie to go wherever she wanted to go..maybe if her mom was more understanding and actually LISTENED to varsha

but varsha needs to understand that all the things her friend is encouraging varsha to do are bad and that she shouldnt do what her friend is doing...thats the only part i feel she is wrong in

Originally posted by: iamindian

Waah!!I DONOT BELIEVE THAT MY POST GOT MORE REPLIES THAN ARTI's😕!!!!!

Well,to Alllllllllllllll people who've Replied,I must say that your Replies are prrof enough that My Post had(n Still had a point!)

We're saying HI instead of Namaste(or even Hello that we'd learnt from the Colonists!)..... Yep,Nope instead of Yes n No😲We're giving treat to our Buddies(Not Dosts) at either Mac Donalds Or Pizza Hut instead of komalas who sell Dosa n other desi khaana.....we shop in Malls buying Foren Brands.... we cannot live Without MICROWAVES (As if humaari Mataji-Dadima khaana nahin banati thee😆)

we're watching Bay Watch(Specially In India!)we serve our guests red wine instead of Masala Chai-Madras Coffee,we're having Late Night Parties,having tatoos on our arms,.women have taken to Drinking,one night stands ,skimpy clothes and Boyfriends(you know..they're just freinds..we have fun with them ..Chill out!😉 india has to progress Yaar So if Patis are Soooooooooooo Closed minded how will Patnis progress?) to prove they're Progressing n Hence India's also seeing rising Divorce cases that was Unthinkable(And Toooooooooooooooooo Shameful) even few years back.... And WHAT's THE REASON FOR ALL THIS,Haan?? Andhon ki tarah Nakal karna...buss!! And no body can deny that! No matter how much people try to distract this Truth with other points,the fact is that We've learnt these things from Foren !!

haha none of that applies to me :D
but some families here are very indian...we serve chai to guests and go out to indian restaurants and all that

but i do have friends who are getting tattoos and get drunk & sneak around having bf's

& i since im punjabi, i say sat shri akal to all the indian people we meet :)
and most of us americans know how to talk in our language...
what i think is that the families that come from india (example: my parents)
are very traditional and have indian thinking, and then me and my brother are 1st generation of america in our family
so we also have the indian values...but i guess the next generations start to lose tradition's & values.
but it ALL depends on how the parents raise their kids


if your saying india is learning things from foreign countries...maybe its true
but if divorce rates are getting higher, it seems that women dont take crap from their husbands anymore

.. and we should be blamed for learning such things!
It's not about where we live, but it's about the decisions we make.

@ Angelina

yea..i guess indian-american kids are more forward
and when i say forward i mean we know what we want & we're not hesitant to speak our minds when something is wrong

but not all...i've seen american born kids who are sooo shy and barely talk and do whatever their parents say

It all DEPENDS on the parenting!


to me, pre-martial sex is a big deal
its no sex till marriage for me...but my parents didnt have to tell me **awwkwward**
i already know that its wrong, especially in our culture

clubbing, partying, and all that is not normal for indian kids here
the parents dont allow it
but some still choose to sneak out

that cannot define all us american teenagers though

i am proud of the way i am & i want it to be known that just cause im an american teenager doesnt mean i do all that^

its kinda like saying, "OMG your pretty...you must have had a lot of boyfriends" *Stereotype*

Originally posted by: iamindian

Waah!!I DONOT BELIEVE THAT MY POST GOT MORE REPLIES THAN ARTI's😕!!!!!

Well,to Alllllllllllllll people who've Replied,I must say that your Replies are prrof enough that My Post had(n Still had a point!)

We're saying HI instead of Namaste(or even Hello that we'd learnt from the Colonists!)..... Yep,Nope instead of Yes n No😲We're giving treat to our Buddies(Not Dosts) at either Mac Donalds Or Pizza Hut instead of komalas who sell Dosa n other desi khaana.....we shop in Malls buying Foren Brands.... we cannot live Without MICROWAVES (As if humaari Mataji-Dadima khaana nahin banati thee😆)

we're watching Bay Watch(Specially In India!)we serve our guests red wine instead of Masala Chai-Madras Coffee,we're having Late Night Parties,having tatoos on our arms,.women have taken to Drinking,one night stands ,skimpy clothes and Boyfriends(you know..they're just freinds..we have fun with them ..Chill out!😉 india has to progress Yaar So if Patis are Soooooooooooo Closed minded how will Patnis progress?) to prove they're Progressing n Hence India's also seeing rising Divorce cases that was Unthinkable(And Toooooooooooooooooo Shameful) even few years back.... And WHAT's THE REASON FOR ALL THIS,Haan?? Andhon ki tarah Nakal karna...buss!! And no body can deny that! No matter how much people try to distract this Truth with other points, then what's the truth haan?? Where have we learnt these from?? These were never ever in India....

Jee thanks Malini ... you stole my thunder 😭.... just joking 😆... but there are a few heated convosations here... but remember guys forums are here to give your point of view, not to bash other peoples views but to challenge their views ... 😃

Well,I am not saying that Indians in Foreign are not that traditional as in India....that's NOT THE POINT but the fact is that whether in india or in US(Actually it's Now more in India that the teenagers are 'Attracted' Towards Phoren Culture) it's not ONLY about the Indian kids,Indian kids living in US/Uk are not even a good % of the total Population so that cAnnot Define what the TREND IS ..... I have told about the 'general trend' or what we call NORM.. as In India even nowadays it's shocking for parents to accept the concepts of 'live together',women having alcohol n going to discos Which is Absolutely NOt in Western Countries.....it's OK for them but when we try to imitate n incorporate these things in our Indian Lifestyle n Culture,no matter where we're living,in India or abroad,it does bring in lots of issues that we haven't faced in Centuries!!

Originally posted by: Jess.

@ Angelina

yea..i guess indian-american kids are more forward
and when i say forward i mean we know what we want & we're not hesitant to speak our minds when something is wrong

but not all...i've seen american born kids who are sooo shy and barely talk and do whatever their parents say

It all DEPENDS on the parenting!


to me, pre-martial sex is a big deal
its no sex till marriage for me...but my parents didnt have to tell me **awwkwward**
i already know that its wrong, especially in our culture

clubbing, partying, and all that is not normal for indian kids here
the parents dont allow it
but some still choose to sneak out

that cannot define all us american teenagers though

i am proud of the way i am & i want it to be known that just cause im an american teenager doesnt mean i do all that^

its kinda like saying, "OMG your pretty...you must have had a lot of boyfriends" *Stereotype*

Great post! 👏 its so straightforward yet many people dont understand it.! well im glad that you are proud to be and american teenager that still has her indian values, because most of us do and honestly hun we dot need to explain ourselves to anyone on the forum, your true values will show in the future and as longg as your parents are proud that you are a good person, you will always have the most respect you deserve. Best of luck to you in the future 😃