Was Versha in the wrong ? - Page 2

Originally posted by: pyaridilwalino1

I don't agree with you at all...this has nothing to do with where a person is born or brought up. It's about the values that parents instill in their children and how those children uphold those values. I think it's wrong of you to say that teenagers in the USA are too independent and don't know limits, because honestly speaking a lot of the american born teenagers are more responsible and "sanskari" than some Indian born teenagers. I think a comparision is unfair and wrong. Just because you are Indian born and brought up that does not make you automatically more traditional and respectful than an American born and brought up person. That is completely wrong.

TO the topic starter-nice topic...I think Varsha is not wrong in her intentions, but wrong in the way she went about it. Every person wants to have some enjoyment in their lives and if going out with co-workers is enjoyment for her than be it. I just think she should talk to her mom about it and even her brother, who seems much more understanding than the mom. I think its fine to spend money on yourself because that is what a person does for self-satisfaction. Really I believe if your not self-satisfied how can you even help another being, be it your family?! I think Solochana should give and spend equal time on her children, she hasn't thus far. She should talk to Varsha instead of yelling at her and she should not have gone to the club..that was just a wrong step. That is why Solochana is not the best mother...she spends more time on Archu than any of her other children.

Shweta

Thanks Shweta

I dont think we should all just bash the poster who was speaking about american teenagers being forward. Its true that he or she was generalizing and maybe was a bit stereotypical in establishing a binary between american and indian teens. But, I think what he or she was trying to say was that american culture in general is more forward than indian traditional culture. Its a fact. In the states and especially amongst many white American, pre-marital sex is not a big deal. and clubbing, partying and drinking is just normal stuff. For sure, there are many americans who have strong moral values and respect their parents, just as there are many indian teenagers who dont have any moral values at all. I think the issue at hand is the culture at large, and the poster did not mean to imply that everyone in America falls within that culture. I dont think we should all just pounce on him or her, and step back and try to understand what she was really trying to say. clubbing, partying, boyfriends are NOT part of Indian traditions and its a fact. These things (regardless of whether they reflect the lives of ALL americans or not) have come from things such as satellite and american tv, etc.

In terms of Varsha, I think she is just plain rude and extremely weak because she falls prey to peer pressure very easily. I hate that girl Rashmi, her so called friend. But I also think its wrong of her family to ask for her entire salary. Its her money and she has the right to spend it the way she wants. But of course, with freedom comes responsibility, and if she is not mature enough to understand what is the right or wrong way to spend money, then clearly her family has a point. I dont think her family will have a problem if she spends her money to eat or buy clothes for herself. We often see her sitting at a coffee shop hanging out with her friends. Her mother even said she is not restricted from watching movies, but just watching them at night. So yeah, if she is spending it on clubbing and buying skimpy dresses, then she certainly doesnt deserve the freedom to make money. That is my two cents.

Originally posted by: angelina23

I dont think we should all just bash the poster who was speaking about american teenagers being forward. Its true that he or she was generalizing and maybe was a bit stereotypical in establishing a binary between american and indian teens. But, I think what he or she was trying to say was that american culture in general is more forward than indian traditional culture. Its a fact. In the states and especially amongst many white American, pre-marital sex is not a big deal. and clubbing, partying and drinking is just normal stuff. For sure, there are many americans who have strong moral values and respect their parents, just as there are many indian teenagers who dont have any moral values at all. I think the issue at hand is the culture at large, and the poster did not mean to imply that everyone in America falls within that culture. I dont think we should all just pounce on him or her, and step back and try to understand what she was really trying to say. clubbing, partying, boyfriends are NOT part of Indian traditions and its a fact. These things (regardless of whether they reflect the lives of ALL americans or not) have come from things such as satellite and american tv, etc.

In terms of Varsha, I think she is just plain rude and extremely weak because she falls prey to peer pressure very easily. I hate that girl Rashmi, her so called friend. But I also think its wrong of her family to ask for her entire salary. Its her money and she has the right to spend it the way she wants. But of course, with freedom comes responsibility, and if she is not mature enough to understand what is the right or wrong way to spend money, then clearly her family has a point. I dont think her family will have a problem if she spends her money to eat or buy clothes for herself. We often see her sitting at a coffee shop hanging out with her friends. Her mother even said she is not restricted from watching movies, but just watching them at night. So yeah, if she is spending it on clubbing and buying skimpy dresses, then she certainly doesnt deserve the freedom to make money. That is my two cents.

I wasnt being disrespectful to anyone. that was not my intention. I was also simply stating my opinion, and the reason I said people were pouncing on him or her is because someone thought his or her comments were "outrageous." I think that is disrespectul. Everyone is free to express their opinions without being judged.

I'd go by what SRK said in Swades, and in my opinion, put it up very very right!!

"It is not because our culture does not reassemble America's that their is necessarily wrong!"

That was just to comment on what one of the posts put across...


To the topic starter,

Great topic sincerely! I feel that Varsha was partially right and partially wrong... Like many stated, it was wrong of her, totally wrong of her, to LIE to her mother to go out. It was not wrong to actually go clubbing and partying, it was wrong to lie about it!! See, Varsha is a girl with high ambitions, and even more dangerously, great desires... Preventing her from doing some of the things she wishes which are wrong is absolutely fine, and obviously the duty of a good mother and family... But come on, lets be realistic, not giving her a cent of her own salary would not be accepted by any individual, not even those with the weakest minds...

I think its Sulochana that has got it all wrong... She never has time for any of her children except Archu. Ok fine, Archu is the ideal daughter and everything, but when are our five hand fingers the same? Does this mean we should just cut off the rest least pleasurable four off the rest? I think she should set her priorities once and for all. Archu's gone, and she's no longer her duty to look after. She should start understanding her other children. Fine you put restrictions, but not as many as the child starts going wrong. I agree Varsha acts a bit immature at times, and is very easily influenced, but if her mother took time out to sit with her and explain the way the world works, she would get better obedience from her daughter!! Don't you guys think so?

It all comes down to how you are surrounded never mind whether you live in India, in America, like me in Mauritius(which is perhaps unheard by some) or in the Arctic... Being liberal does not mean letting your children take drugs or having sex, provided parents explain the limits to the children beforehand, and that applies on any place on Earth for any parent!!...


Nice discussion going on!!
Cheers,
Sneha

Originally posted by: fabulous05

I am sorry, I usually do not like to argue with opposing views, but your comment completely outraged me. You are right that in America many teenagers are very forward and not as traditional as in India, but I think you went a little to far. To just bluntly belittle us teens in usa is absolutely low of you and you should learn to think before you talk. I have lived in America my whole life and my respect and sanskar have never left me. Many americans have respect for their parents and to just say that americans are too forward and have no parental support is a totally untrue fact. I have been around many americans and they too have their parents support and just because they have a little more freedom then indian teens does not make them horrible people. I think that many indians minds are way to close minded and its really time for people to start being open to the world. And to say that indians are not forward is a very false statement, I go to india every year and some of the things that I have seen teens do I could not believe. I just wanted to make it clear to you that cultures and traditions are different everywhere so there is no reason to go and insult another culture, becasue what may be normal for americans may not be for Indians and what is normal for Indians may not be for Americans.

thank you for saying this. Absolutely agree with you. I have lived in NYC my whole life. NY is as metro of a city as it gets. So just by living here and being assimilated into both Indian and American culture does not make me bad. Infact let me tell you something. Here atleast whatever we do, its out in the open. If I want to go out then my parents know and they know that they have given me sanskars and that I am responsible enough to take care of my self. So i don't have to hide any thing from any one. In india, teenagers are doing excatly what AMerican teenagers are doing, but they are doing every thing behind closed doors. So does that make them any better?
Plus I also think that we don't have any right to judge any one. And what did you mean by "atleast she is allowing Varsha to go for a job?" I mean now a days working is just as necessary as eating or sleeping. She doesn't have to allow any thing. Having a job is a sign of leading a respectful life, not a sign of leading an "American styled independent life."

Sure american teenagers get in trouble, but May be you should try to read indian newspapers and you will see exactly what kind of trouble indian teenagers get in. The problem there is that when parents don't give ANY freedom then you start to lie and deceive them and sneak out. In the processs of doing so, you become irresponsible and end up doing things which lead you in trouble. So atleast here whatever we do, its out in the open.

One last thing about respect, we all have tremendous respect for our culture, traditions, parents, elders, religion, you name it. And so do all our white friends. Infact, sometimes they have more manners and respect than indian people. Just because they have a different culture and tradions does not make them bad.

just please have an open mind when you say these things because there are people on this forum who are not from india, infact have never even been to india in they whole lives, and yet they are here on this forum reading and watching indian Tv. That says something... doesn't it??

Originally posted by: fabulous05

I am sorry, I usually do not like to argue with opposing views, but your comment completely outraged me. You are right that in America many teenagers are very forward and not as traditional as in India, but I think you went a little to far. To just bluntly belittle us teens in usa is absolutely low of you and you should learn to think before you talk. I have lived in America my whole life and my respect and sanskar have never left me. Many americans have respect for their parents and to just say that americans are too forward and have no parental support is a totally untrue fact. I have been around many americans and they too have their parents support and just because they have a little more freedom then indian teens does not make them horrible people. I think that many indians minds are way to close minded and its really time for people to start being open to the world. And to say that indians are not forward is a very false statement, I go to india every year and some of the things that I have seen teens do I could not believe. I just wanted to make it clear to you that cultures and traditions are different everywhere so there is no reason to go and insult another culture, becasue what may be normal for americans may not be for Indians and what is normal for Indians may not be for Americans.

I agree...i feel that us teenagers here in america are under more pressure to follow our traditions. My parents have instilled all the traditional indian values in me and i have never done anything wrong.

The difference in us girls in america and in india, are that we actually know how to stick up for ourselves and our parents teach us to be independent cause life in america isnt all that easy...money doesnt grow on trees and we have to work hard to earn it. Life isnt all fun in games in america like people think it is.

I actually care about what my parents think & i respect them, in turn they trust me & give me freedom :)
We earn it! Im allowed to wear whatever i want & go wherever i want, but its all in limits...they dont have to tell me what not to do. We know whats wrong and whats right


I have seen girls in india that are not so *traditional*...just saying

Originally posted by: free2ryme

thank you for saying this. Absolutely agree with you. I have lived in NYC my whole life. NY is as metro of a city as it gets. So just by living here and being assimilated into both Indian and American culture does not make me bad. Infact let me tell you something. Here atleast whatever we do, its out in the open. If I want to go out then my parents know and they know that they have given me sanskars and that I am responsible enough to take care of my self. So i don't have to hide any thing from any one. In india, teenagers are doing excatly what AMerican teenagers are doing, but they are doing every thing behind closed doors. So does that make them any better?
Plus I also think that we don't have any right to judge any one. And what did you mean by "atleast she is allowing Varsha to go for a job?" I mean now a days working is just as necessary as eating or sleeping. She doesn't have to allow any thing. Having a job is a sign of leading a respectful life, not a sign of leading an "American styled independent life."

Sure american teenagers get in trouble, but May be you should try to read indian newspapers and you will see exactly what kind of trouble indian teenagers get in. The problem there is that when parents don't give ANY freedom then you start to lie and deceive them and sneak out. In the processs of doing so, you become irresponsible and end up doing things which lead you in trouble. So atleast here whatever we do, its out in the open.

One last thing about respect, we all have tremendous respect for our culture, traditions, parents, elders, religion, you name it. And so do all our white friends. Infact, sometimes they have more manners and respect than indian people. Just because they have a different culture and tradions does not make them bad.

just please have an open mind when you say these things because there are people on this forum who are not from india, infact have never even been to india in they whole lives, and yet they are here on this forum reading and watching indian Tv. That says something... doesn't it??

couldnt have said it better :)


& women have all rights to work...she is just setting up her life
here in america, kids are encouraged to work
so they know the value of money and can live their life successfully

how is someone supposed to know the value of money if they've never earned it?

Originally posted by: free2ryme

thank you for saying this. Absolutely agree with you. I have lived in NYC my whole life. NY is as metro of a city as it gets. So just by living here and being assimilated into both Indian and American culture does not make me bad. Infact let me tell you something. Here atleast whatever we do, its out in the open. If I want to go out then my parents know and they know that they have given me sanskars and that I am responsible enough to take care of my self. So i don't have to hide any thing from any one. In india, teenagers are doing excatly what AMerican teenagers are doing, but they are doing every thing behind closed doors. So does that make them any better?
Plus I also think that we don't have any right to judge any one. And what did you mean by "atleast she is allowing Varsha to go for a job?" I mean now a days working is just as necessary as eating or sleeping. She doesn't have to allow any thing. Having a job is a sign of leading a respectful life, not a sign of leading an "American styled independent life."

Sure american teenagers get in trouble, but May be you should try to read indian newspapers and you will see exactly what kind of trouble indian teenagers get in. The problem there is that when parents don't give ANY freedom then you start to lie and deceive them and sneak out. In the processs of doing so, you become irresponsible and end up doing things which lead you in trouble. So atleast here whatever we do, its out in the open.

One last thing about respect, we all have tremendous respect for our culture, traditions, parents, elders, religion, you name it. And so do all our white friends. Infact, sometimes they have more manners and respect than indian people. Just because they have a different culture and tradions does not make them bad.

just please have an open mind when you say these things because there are people on this forum who are not from india, infact have never even been to india in they whole lives, and yet they are here on this forum reading and watching indian Tv. That says something... doesn't it??

I am glad to see im not the only one who felt this way. I really like the way you put it. Hopefully some of these close minded people have an impact on what reality is. From what I see people who think americans are troubled people, well then really these people need reality checks and get outta their box because not just india, but many countries are taking a turn in culture and traditions, but that doesn't make anyone bad, it just means times are changing and people are assimilating to a new part of society. I think actually us american indians probably have more respect,. because we are not disrespecting indians and not saying shallow things about them. Americans may have had a more forward culture then India, but people saying that america is the influence behind indias change, well i have just one thing to say just because someone jumps off a bridge, doesnt mean you have to also. People who have changed, changed on their own will and their own thoughts, no one is telling them to. I think americans could probably care less if indians go clubbing or go to bars and get drunk. They didnt come to india and tell people to do so. Indians chose to bring in the western culture, so its really stupid to sit there and just blame it on america.

Originally posted by: fabulous05

I am glad to see im not the only one who felt this way. I really like the way you put it. Hopefully some of these close minded people have an impact on what reality is. From what I see people who think americans are troubled people, well then really these people need reality checks and get outta their box because not just india, but many countries are taking a turn in culture and traditions, but that doesn't make anyone bad, it just means times are changing and people are assimilating to a new part of society. I think actually us american indians probably have more respect,. because we are not disrespecting indians and not saying shallow things about them. Americans may have had a more forward culture then India, but people saying that america is the influence behind indias change, well i have just one thing to say just because someone jumps off a bridge, doesnt mean you have to also. People who have changed, changed on their own will and their own thoughts, no one is telling them to. I think americans could probably care less if indians go clubbing or go to bars and get drunk. They didnt come to india and tell people to do so. Indians chose to bring in the western culture, so its really stupid to sit there and just blame it on america.

You said it!! ⭐️