Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 2 & 3 - Ashok Comes Home - Page 4

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naq5 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#31

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

Just out of curiosity here, do you by any chance live in India?

yes of course. why do you ask this?

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Posted: 5 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: naq5

Also seeing ashok minis bond made me feel bad for her. for her, her father was a stranger whom she only knew through her mothers eyes of how she described him. the hesitation in talking to her own father. This is what the elders of the family did with a child in their own selfishness and trying to adhere to a certain kind of protocol of being a good wife and bahu. in last episode when mini was telling babita that she never got to stay because of all this with her father all her life, i thought babita would agree to let her talk to ashok for her sake but no at that time it was more important for babita to be a good wife and not burden ashok & to be a good bahu over her childs happiness. It was also the first instance to where i saw babita emotionally blackmailing mini to adhere to her wishes and keep quiet. It also shows how she couldnt use force on anyone but mini so it was mini who always the one who she expected to toe in her line. Im sure if babita wasnt such a mess with the news of ashoks affair and more in her senses she wouldnt have allowed mini to make her leave the house. she would have given her all the reasons that she has to be a good wife and bahu and fight for her husband and made her stay back too.

Well, can't we say that in this instance Babita was caring more for her husband and didn't want to burden him with any more unnecessary stress? For him to come home, and the first thing he hears is Minnie wanting him to take her and Babita with him. Yes, she has the right to ask such a thing from him, but according to Babita, he would have done so if he was financially able to bring them both over. Even during their brief conversation on the terrace, she told him that she'll give him her jewelry if it meant lessening his financial troubles. In her mind, she's assuming that he hasn't called them over because he is tight on money. Minnie's demands would have added an emotional stress on him, which she didn't want. Of course this is all running on assumptions since we didn't get a clear cut answer from her.

I also don't think that she would have stayed back. If it had been her alone, then maybe. But considering there was Minnie in the mix, I don't think she would have.

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Posted: 5 years ago
#33

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi


What choice did babita have other than adhering to Good wife and Bahu tag?

She told Mini about her and Ashok’s love coz what else could she have told her child that your father doesn’t love me, doesn’t love you and let her child grow in extreme hate and resistance towards her father? She fooled herself and she fooled her daughter too in believing that Ashok loved them. I don’t see if she even had an option apart from it.


And Babita didn’t fail Mini. Her Dadu - Biji and Ashok failed Mini. If anything Babita gave Mini her love and everything she had. She gave Mini freedom and maturity. Circumstances did play a part but no one is born mature. Mini became stronger coz her situations but her jest for life, her optimism came from her mother. Babita nurtured Mini for those 17 years. Tried to fill the void of her Father. Did everything in her capacity to fill Mini’s life with happy moments.
even during depression, she went ahead and reconciled Mini to her grandparents. Mini’s stubborn family was not even talking to her.


If Mini had to grow up and step up for her mother against the taunts or Lovely and injustice of Biji that’s coz her grandparents failed her. They couldn’t give her mother respect in that house. They couldn’t stop Lovely. They didn’t ask Ashok to take Mini and Babita with him. They didn’t question Ashok of his lack of interest and involvement in Mini’s life. Babita was not in position to raise her voice. I don’t see her type of person standing up for herself when she has a small girl child. When Mini became her support and pulled her through, she did stand up for herself and her daughter!

i mentioned all elders failed her. And i am not saying babita should have walked out of marriage or fought with her in laws or raised her voice . She could have tried talking to daadu beeji about going to live with ashok. Ok she couldnt for her sake(it was against a good bahu norms that she had created in her mind) but at least for minis sake she could have talked to them about it. If she had said for minis sake that she wanted her child to have a father around growing up, they could have agreed. you dont need to fight, such things can be talked out calmly also. At least daadu would have understood. the thing is babita never told all this in a respectful calm way also. It was not that she was not in a position to talk to them. they would not have thrown her and mini out of the house if she talked to them about going to live with ashok.

And babita was not quiet because she was scared of in laws she was quiet because she did not want to be called a bad wife and bahu. she had a misplaced notion of respecting her inlaws by not even asking or requesting them for her basic needs and rights.

Even with lovely she could have nicely explained to her in a calm way that she is hurting her with her words. maybe even told this in front of daadu beeji that she is getting hurt. But no she just meekly listened to lovely taunts showing she dint feel bad about it, and used to secretly get happy that mini gives it back to lovely. Not the solution to an issue. And even if she was a bit firm with lovely and told her off sometimes and even if beeji lovely were angry at her it was not that daadu would not support her and allow them to just walk over her if she actually protested for herself. She just did not even try.

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Posted: 5 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Well, can't we say that in this instance Babita was caring more for her husband and didn't want to burden him with any more unnecessary stress? For him to come home, and the first thing he hears is Minnie wanting him to take her and Babita with him. Yes, she has the right to ask such a thing from him, but according to Babita, he would have done so if he was financially able to bring them both over. Even during their brief conversation on the terrace, she told him that she'll give him her jewelry if it meant lessening his financial troubles. In her mind, she's assuming that he hasn't called them over because he is tight on money. Minnie's demands would have added an emotional stress on him, which she didn't want. Of course this is all running on assumptions since we didn't get a clear cut answer from her.

I also don't think that she would have stayed back. If it had been her alone, then maybe. But considering there was Minnie in the mix, I don't think she would have.

i actually think she would have stayed back more for minis sake for not wanting to seperate her from her family. beeji could have easily fed her all this staying for her daughters sake that we will throw out meeta together and she would have stayed and tried, if it was not for mini who pulled her out when she was in shock and not in her proper senses.
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Posted: 5 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: _Reka_

Gur, hats off again. Clocking in very shortly cause in this horrid winter weather all my kids got sick and I haven't had a full night's sleep in like a fortnight. One thing I would add is that by society and esp by Lovely, Babita just can't make it right anyways which is why she turned out extra insecure and hesitant. In epi 1, she is taunted by Lovely that she does not groom herself enough which is why Ashok does not care for her. Her dressing up is a sort of answer to that taunt at this point; I do not think she still genuinely wants to seduce Ashok at this point, she just seems too numb. And next thing you know, she is doing it all wrong again, or so Lovely says... And again, she wants to make it right by her.


Thanks Reka!


Oh no! I hope they get better soon, and you a decent night's sleep. :(


Your point is true. Babita's identity is largely composed of what society dictates. It's why Minnie tries so damn hard to make her independent and just not care about what others have to say. The thing is that society is very fickle minded. Their opinions are going to constantly change as per their whim. We can see it in the example you gave of Lovely. Ek din kuch kehti hai aur dusre din kuch aur. There is no one way about her. Ab agar Babita iske magar lag jayegi, phir toh hogaya satyanash.

asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: Swetha-Sai

Beautiful WU of the 2nd & 3rd episode of PB by you, Gur! ❤️

Thank you! 🤗

Edited by asmaanixx - 5 years ago
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Posted: 5 years ago
#37

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Even if he didn't know her exact age, he must have known she has grown up in 5 years and according to the letter , he sent her gift every year no matter where he was. So did he sent only dolls all those years? They said he kept contact through only email. No one informed him about Mini growing up?

This is what I wondered too.

Did he ever ask about Babita or Minnie specifically, or did he just clump everyone together?

Who was on the receiving end of these emails? If it was Lovely then she wouldn't talk about Babita or Minnie even in her dreams. Did Minnie not answer them? Knowing her, she would have demanded to know his email so that she can communicate with him on her own. That being said, if she did have access, did she not send emails of her own?

asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#38

Originally posted by: _Reka_

And Meeta is at this point totally relatable because she's not vile, she too has been cheated by Ashok and she was the one who wanted to come clear in front of his family. Actually this way she was caring more for Babita than Ashok himself. Also, Babita would not stand a chance against her in the beginning, because Meeta had a personality and wasn't made into a suffocated human robot. So it's not like she deliberately wants to take someone's husband or doesn't care about breaking his family. Actually by the time she enters there is not much to break.

Exactly!

Despite her being the other woman, she lacked the typical vampish behavior that is reserved for such women. Much more than Ashok, she was sympathetic towards Babita and recognized how she was being wronged in this situation. Her constant egging him on to come clean to his family was also proof of his cowardice. He could have told them the truth in the past ten years either over the phone, or when he went to visit India. Yet, he kept quiet. Even this time, he had hours to speak to them and he said nothing. He really doesn't want to shake things up too much and would have kept deluding them if it hadn't been for Meeta coming to India.

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Posted: 5 years ago
#39

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

See this episode was the reason I hated Mini for saying Lovely dil ki buri nahi hai and giving clean chit to senior Khuranas by saying In-laws to aise hi hote hai. Fcuk that logic. Why are you normalizing such selfish behavior in the name of in-laws. Babita did their seva and gave them her own parents place. Yet they were always her in-laws you are saying.


Babita was wrong in wanting Mini to cut ties off with her grandparents but Mini was equally wrong in blaming Babita for the torture she endured for 17 years. Just say that I want to keep my relations with my dadu biji. You don’t have to.

Babita is not a modern day girl like you Mini. She was not a confident person when she got married and had you. She was not you. She didn’t have freedom. How could she have left taking Mini with her at the tender age or raise her voice? What would have happened? Who would have supported her? Not even her own parents and brother. They all would have asked her to compromise and adjust. That’s what girls are told after Marriage in Middle class Indian society. That’s what Babita’s brother told her even after he knew that his Jijaji has come home with another woman and that he is divorcing his sister.
And there exist thousands of Babitas out there. They are so preconditioned to think once you step out of your parents house, husband house is where you have to live your life. They are not your 21st century confident girls who can raise their voice and find their freedom.



For these 17 years, the most I felt bad was for Babita. And not Mini. Mini has life ahead of her. Yes she lost out on Father’s love but she was pampered by her grandparents. She got all freedom and love from her mother. She got education. She got out and made friends. She enjoyed moments.

What did Babita get? Lovely’s taunts. Biji’s double dhol behavior. Day and night serving in-laws, cooking for them, fulfilling Lovely’s demands, lonely nights, No husband’s love. All she had was Mini and moments she shared with her daughter. I can very well understand her need to hold Mini tight. Mini has been her hope for half of her life years.

For me Babita is the biggest victim of those 17 years. She lost out on all her prime years. And what Mini did was victim blaming. That’s where writers lost it big time. Losers!

I agree.

Matlab zindagi bhar jitni marzi gulaami kar walo, lekin end mein treat toh sirf paraye ki tarah hi karenge. With that single line, she washed away all their sins just because she didn't want to be away from them. Fine, she still wanted to be in contact with them, but did she really have to do it by victim blaming and shaming her mother?

Minnie's attitude in that scene definitely stems from a generational gap. As much as she claims to understand her Babes, she really doesn't since she doesn't come from that era nor those societal conditions. Minnie comes from a generation who are constantly taught to speak up when they're wronged and it's been reinforced by her family as well. Babita doesn't come from such a family and she has been severely shackled by the people around her.

Minnie does have a whole life ahead of her. But Babita already lived half of hers. When Minnie was crying about losing out on her "career", I rolled my eyes so hard. Like girl, you're only EIGHTEEN. You don't have a career because YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORKING. Ab bina kaam ke kaise career ho sakta hai? 🤔

If anyone, it was Babita's life that was ruined by being married at 18, and then pregnant at 19. Yeah, you know how Minnie was resisting so hard from being married after finishing her college? That's EXACTLY what Babita went through, only her voice wasn't heard and she didn't succeed in not getting married off.

asmaanixx thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
#40

Originally posted by: _Reka_

Totally right. Also, Mini was never repressed to a fraction of the extent Babita was. Yes, she might have missed her father's love and interest in her but otherwise the whole family was pampering her which made her the confident and outspoken young lady she is. This is also the same family who treated Babita so badly by not acknowledging her as a person in her own right. Minnie is missing basic empathy here but so are most of the Khuranas.

That photo frame made me hate Lovely like there's no tomorrow. She had everyone in it, including a toddler Minnie but Babita? There was absolutely no sign of her. If you can go to the extent of excluding someone out of a family photo then what kind of respect would they be receiving in their daily life? No one had pointed it out except for Minnie, and even when she did no one tried to rectify it. They were all too busy catering towards the man of the house. 🤢

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