Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 2 & 3 - Ashok Comes Home - Page 2

And Meeta is at this point totally relatable because she's not vile, she too has been cheated by Ashok and she was the one who wanted to come clear in front of his family. Actually this way she was caring more for Babita than Ashok himself. Also, Babita would not stand a chance against her in the beginning, because Meeta had a personality and wasn't made into a suffocated human robot. So it's not like she deliberately wants to take someone's husband or doesn't care about breaking his family. Actually by the time she enters there is not much to break. 

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Even if he didn't know her exact age, he must have known she has grown up in 5 years and according to the letter , he sent her gift every year no matter where he was. So did he sent only dolls all those years?  They said he kept contact through only email. No one informed him about Mini growing up?

I guess this is to show his total lack of interest. A father cannot forget his children's birthdays for administrative reasons alone... And to think that a doll like that is an appropriate gift even for a 12 yrs old it's just not believable 

See this episode was the reason I hated Mini for saying Lovely dil ki buri nahi hai and giving clean chit to senior Khuranas by saying In-laws to aise hi hote hai. Fcuk that logic. Why are you normalizing such selfish behavior in the name of in-laws. Babita did their seva and gave them her own parents place. Yet they were always her in-laws you are saying. 

Babita was wrong in wanting Mini to cut ties off with her grandparents but Mini was equally wrong in blaming Babita for the torture she endured for 17 years. Just say that I want to keep my relations with my dadu biji. You don’t have to. 

Babita is not a modern day girl like you Mini. She was not a confident person when she got married and had you. She was not you. She didn’t have freedom. How could she have left taking Mini with her at the tender age or raise her voice? What would have happened? Who would have supported her? Not even her own parents and brother. They all would have asked her to compromise and adjust. That’s what girls are told after Marriage in Middle class Indian society. That’s what Babita’s brother told her even after he knew that his Jijaji has come home with another woman and that he is divorcing his sister. 
And there exist thousands of Babitas out there. They are so preconditioned to think once you step out of your parents house, husband house is where you have to live your life. They are not your 21st century confident girls who can raise their voice and find their freedom.

For these 17 years, the most I felt bad was for Babita. And not Mini. Mini has life ahead of her. Yes she lost out on Father’s love but she was pampered by her grandparents. She got all freedom and love from her mother. She got education. She got out and made friends. She enjoyed moments. 

What did Babita get? Lovely’s taunts. Biji’s double dhol behavior. Day and night serving in-laws, cooking for them, fulfilling Lovely’s demands, lonely nights, No husband’s love. All she had was Mini and moments she shared with her daughter. I can very well understand her need to hold Mini tight. Mini has been her hope for half of her life years. 

For me Babita is the biggest victim of those 17 years. She lost out on all her prime years. And what Mini did was victim blaming. That’s where writers lost it big time. Losers!

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold well they had an EMI to pay off for the house loan. so for that he was forced to stay there & earn. Also lovely and sukhi really did nothing to earn instead spent off dadus savings in starting up business and failing in them and they had a lot of more nakhras like wanting an AC etc etc.  So basically ashoks earnings had to take care of 6 people in the house.

rest of the things are quite the reason why babita HS marriage broke. 

Beeji is an extremely selfish person. It is shown that she was selfish for only her children but she really dint think about ashok too. They all wanted to live lavishly on his earnings yet she dint think that how he would be living there all alone with no one to share life with and send babita and mini to london. instead she kept them here only so that he would come and visit them to meet them at least. she was selfish only for herself. She did not even think that mini has to live without her father

Babitas parents were the main reason. i would have wanted to know more about them as to when they passed away and why they dint support babita. It would clear out so many things. But HS back story had more details about his parents  than Babitas back story had about her parents. Babita wasnt actually given a proper back story other than her married life.

Just out of curiosity here, do you by any chance live in India?

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

See this episode was the reason I hated Mini for saying Lovely dil ki buri nahi hai and giving clean chit to senior Khuranas by saying In-laws to aise hi hote hai. Fcuk that logic. Why are you normalizing such selfish behavior in the name of in-laws. Babita did their seva and gave them her own parents place. Yet they were always her in-laws you are saying. 

Babita was wrong in wanting Mini to cut ties off with her grandparents but Mini was equally wrong in blaming Babita for the torture she endured for 17 years. Just say that I want to keep my relations with my dadu biji. You don’t have to. 

Babita is not a modern day girl like you Mini. She was not a confident person when she got married and had you. She was not you. She didn’t have freedom. How could she have left taking Mini with her at the tender age or raise her voice? What would have happened? Who would have supported her? Not even her own parents and brother. They all would have asked her to compromise and adjust. That’s what girls are told after Marriage in Middle class Indian society. That’s what Babita’s brother told her even after he knew that his Jijaji has come home with another woman and that he is divorcing his sister. 
And there exist thousands of Babitas out there. They are so preconditioned to think once you step out of your parents house, husband house is where you have to live your life. They are not your 21st century confident girls who can raise their voice and find their freedom.

For these 17 years, the most I felt bad was for Babita. And not Mini. Mini has life ahead of her. Yes she lost out on Father’s love but she was pampered by her grandparents. She got all freedom and love from her mother. She got education. She got out and made friends. She enjoyed moments. 

What did Babita get? Lovely’s taunts. Biji’s double dhol behavior. Day and night serving in-laws, cooking for them, fulfilling Lovely’s demands, lonely nights, No husband’s love. All she had was Mini and moments she shared with her daughter. I can very well understand her need to hold Mini tight. Mini has been her hope for half of her life years. 

For me Babita is the biggest victim of those 17 years. She lost out on all her prime years. And what Mini did was victim blaming. That’s where writers lost it big time. Losers!

Totally right. Also, Mini was never repressed to a fraction of the extent Babita was. Yes, she might have missed her father's love and interest in her but otherwise the whole family was pampering her which made her the confident and outspoken young lady she is. This is also the same family who treated Babita so badly by not acknowledging her as a person in her own right. Minnie is missing basic empathy here but so are most of the Khuranas. 

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Even if he didn't know her exact age, he must have known she has grown up in 5 years and according to the letter , he sent her gift every year no matter where he was. So did he sent only dolls all those years?  They said he kept contact through only email. No one informed him about Mini growing up?

These were probably emails to the whole family and since the senior citizens are unlikely to have answered them probably Lovely did. So Ashok probably got to know more about her kitty parties and what she wore to them than how/what her daughter and wife were doing. 

Originally posted by: naq5

Also seeing ashok minis bond made me feel bad for her. for her, her father was a stranger whom she only knew through her mothers eyes of how she described him. the hesitation in talking to her own father. This is what the elders of the family did with a child in  their own selfishness and trying to adhere to a certain kind of protocol of being a good wife and bahu. in last episode when mini was telling babita that she never got to stay because of all this with her father all her life, i thought babita would agree to let her talk to ashok for her sake but no at that time it was more important for babita to be a good wife and not burden ashok & to be a good bahu over her childs happiness. It was also the first instance to where i saw babita emotionally blackmailing mini to adhere to her wishes and keep quiet. It also shows how she couldnt use force on anyone but mini so it was mini who always the one who she expected to toe in her line. Im sure if babita wasnt such a mess with the news of ashoks affair and more in her senses she wouldnt have allowed mini to make her leave the house. she would have given her all the reasons that she has to be a good wife and bahu and fight for her husband and made her stay back too.   

What choice did babita have other than adhering to Good wife and Bahu tag? 

She told Mini about her and Ashok’s love coz what else could she have told her child that your father doesn’t love me, doesn’t love you and let her child grow in extreme hate and resistance towards her father? She fooled herself and she fooled her daughter too in believing that Ashok loved them. I don’t see if she even had an option apart from it. 

And Babita didn’t fail Mini. Her Dadu - Biji and Ashok failed Mini. If anything Babita gave Mini her love and everything she had. She gave Mini freedom and maturity. Circumstances did play a part but no one is born mature. Mini became stronger coz her situations but her jest for life, her optimism came from her mother. Babita nurtured Mini for those 17 years. Tried to fill the void of her Father. Did everything in her capacity to fill Mini’s life with happy moments. 
even during depression, she went ahead and reconciled Mini to her grandparents. Mini’s stubborn family was not even talking to her. 


If Mini had to grow up and step up for her mother against the taunts or Lovely and injustice of Biji that’s coz her grandparents failed her. They couldn’t give her mother respect in that house. They couldn’t stop Lovely. They didn’t ask Ashok to take Mini and Babita with him. They didn’t question Ashok of his lack of interest and involvement in Mini’s life. Babita was not in position to raise her voice. I don’t see her type of person standing up for herself when she has a small girl child. When Mini became her support and pulled her through, she did stand up for herself and her daughter! 

When Minnie gave that whitewash Khurana lecture, I said the same thing. At that time it looked like a social commentary to some readers, but the thing was that it is not  possible to keep social commentary out of this matter. 

Writers later on making Minnie say that why babita didn't leave, why babita always wanted to look mahaan was a big loophole in  both narrative of the story and a big blow to women in her position. We all know many women who don't mess with their in-laws because they can't afford to do so. There's no support system whatsoever for most women once they get married.

 It's like saying why did slaves not left their masters? Slaves wanted to look mahaan.  It's not that simple.

It's hard to not to draw parallels between this story and reality as Punjab actually has this problem of husbands leaving their wives back in India for years.  Her situation is very real but later on writers' interpretation of her situation was so unjust, I couldn't fathom it at all. People sympathize with Minnie,  and I agree her situation was hard too. But babita had it worse. 

Originally posted by: _Reka_

Totally right. Also, Mini was never repressed to a fraction of the extent Babita was. Yes, she might have missed her father's love and interest in her but otherwise the whole family was pampering her which made her the confident and outspoken young lady she is. This is also the same family who treated Babita so badly by not acknowledging her as a person in her own right. Minnie is missing basic empathy here but so are most of the Khuranas. 

@bold - Exactly. She missed on her Father’s love but she was loved and pampered by her family. She only missed out on one person while Babita only had one person to call her own and that is Mini. I am not undermining Mini’s struggle or that she grew up without father but others in her life tried to compensate that absence. 

I would never do what Mini did to Babita regarding Khuranas. Never say that to my mother that you are selfish for not wanting anything to do with my dadu biji. Babita got married for 2nd time. On her wedding day Lovely taunted her and called her husband to be an evil step father. Biji supports Lovely and asks Babita to stay quiet even on her wedding day. Yet she is expected to let Khuranas be in her and Mini’s life. 

Grandparents love grandchildren so obviously we are close to them. But then they don’t treat your mother as a human. And when you grow up, you can see this from a fair perspective. Mini lost that perspective. More so writers did! 

May be Babita would have reconciled later with senior Khuranas coz they were elder in her life and she did treat them like her own parents. But her wound was too open that time. It was just 3-4 days back they created ruckus in her new life. It didn’t heal. She needed time to forgive, forget and move on. I don’t consider her to be a person who holds grudges forever. But to expect her to be sane just within few days was unreasonable. 

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

When Minnie gave that whitewash Khurana lecture, I said the same thing. At that time it looked like a social commentary to some readers, but the thing was that it is not  possible to keep social commentary out of this matter. 

Writers later on making Minnie say that why babita didn't leave, why babita always wanted to look mahaan was a big loophole in  both narrative of the story and a big blow to women in her position. We all know many women who don't mess with their in-laws because they can't afford to do so. There's no support system whatsoever for most women once they get married.

 It's like saying why did slaves not left their masters? Slaves wanted to look mahaan.  It's not that simple.

It's hard to not to draw parallels between this story and reality as Punjab actually has this problem of husbands leaving their wives back in India for years.  Her situation is very real but later on writers' interpretation of her situation was so unjust, I couldn't fathom it at all. People sympathize with Minnie,  and I agree her situation was hard too. But babita had it worse. 

You're basically right about the family support system thing - btw this isn't an Indian thing either, even my sil was refused to stay at my MIL's place when she left her husband with 2 small kids. But the really irritating thing here is the double measure of the khuranas, cause they did refuse to taste their own medicine by taking in Lovely and Sukhi. (BTW who irl calls their kid Lovely without first knowing whether it applies at all 😂😂😂)