ShiVi OS: First time's the charm ||18+|| Pg. 2 - Page 4

Afhdyuvfyotetijfdhik? What did I just read???🤣

My tongue and fingers got tied after reading this. The temperature has gone up. 😆 ShiVi having sex in the car? This could only be possible in IF and you have done it beautiful with humor. ❤️

Dev has a sex toy🤣 never thought he would use that. But your characters are next level so I shouldn't be surprised but I am.😆 This was really good,Lizzie.🤗

Thanks for the tag😳❤️

Neet! 🤗

You're welcome for the tag and I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I know what you mean about having little gaps to fill when it's only dialogue, but I did this once for a different fandom and although some readers were frustrated they did admit they enjoyed it mainly because of the fun banter. So I tried keeping that same fun element in this one too!

About ShiVi not needing anything other than each other - koi shaq? 😎

They've got too much explosive chemistry between them! 😆

The names were a mad bout of inspiration. 😆

Thank you for saying you enjoyed my eccentric self-indulgence (I know it's not for everyone but I really enjoyed writing this!)

Perhaps I should open a prompt thread on here so you guys can drop your requests! 😆

I'll await your comment on the last chapter! 🤗

Originally posted by: mpks1

Riya, ok that wasn’t explicit as I thought because I don’t read mature content unless it is part of the SS or FF😆

It is their first time that too in Dev’s car😆

Dev has a sex toy in his car?😆

Raavi lost her under garment😆

I am not worried about Dev finding but worried about Rishita finding it. Anyway that’s Dev’s problem😆

Also names - Sundari and Susheela changed to Mimi and Simi- who comes up with these, I guess only Shiva Pandya.

I am glad they got it done before Dev showed up😆

Yeah you've said before you don't read mature content, Prema so thanks for making an exception this time! 😳

The names are courtesy me but of course Shiva came up with them! 😆

Oh yeah, Dev's timing sucks but at least it did not suck so much that he interrupted them! 😆

Thanks for reading, Prema! 🤗

Originally posted by: PoohNotFound

Afhdyuvfyotetijfdhik? What did I just read???🤣

My tongue and fingers got tied after reading this. The temperature has gone up. 😆 ShiVi having sex in the car? This could only be possible in IF and you have done it beautiful with humor. ❤️

Dev has a sex toy🤣 never thought he would use that. But your characters are next level so I shouldn't be surprised but I am.😆 This was really good,Lizzie.🤗

Thanks for the tag😳❤️

Pooh! Thank you!

I'm glad you saw the humour in it. I wanted to make their first time awkward and fun you know and only two people with as much comfort between them as ShiVi can get to this stage during sex. And it's usually like this - uncomfortable, awkward and weird, funny too! And I just wanted to capture that element of realism here!

And idk anything about the Dev in canon but my original fic had them do the deed in a friend's car, and here I couldn't think of anyone but Dev to sacrifice at the altar! 😆

Thanks for reading, Pooh! 🤗

Oh my god, this was so much fun to read 🤣

I have to admit, I don't think I've read something like this i.e. reading with just dialogues, but it was fun nonetheless! Writing dialogues is personally something I really struggle with so I loveeed this a whole lot more because those dialogues were amazing, and I especially enjoyed the Simi and Mimi bits 🤣 Shiva is a goofy little devil ☺️

ShiVi somehow managed to set my screen on fire 😳 while simultaneously being adorable firecrackers ahh!

And them doing it in Dev's car is literally the cherry on top; that setting was genius and the fact that Dev owns a sex toy had me in splits 🤪

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this 🤗

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

You're welcome, Sanchi! And I know what you're trying to say. When I write smut I try very, very hard not to cross that line between tacky and tasteful so I'm glad you thought this one wasn't vulgar.

And if you're uncomfortable reading 18+ stuff please say so and I'll make sure not to tag you in future!

Thanks for reading! ❤️

❤️
To be honest, I do not generally read matured content but the way it was written, it was more like a conversation between any normal couple…as in I was able to relate to it, it was really nice 😊

Do tag me (I really like your writing style)🤗

Originally posted by: blissfulcanyon

Oh my god, this was so much fun to read 🤣

I have to admit, I don't think I've read something like this i.e. reading with just dialogues, but it was fun nonetheless! Writing dialogues is personally something I really struggle with so I loveeed this a whole lot more because those dialogues were amazing, and I especially enjoyed the Simi and Mimi bits 🤣 Shiva is a goofy little devil ☺️

ShiVi somehow managed to set my screen on fire 😳 while simultaneously being adorable firecrackers ahh!

And them doing it in Dev's car is literally the cherry on top; that setting was genius and the fact that Dev owns a sex toy had me in splits 🤪

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this 🤗

Thanks so much, Shyna! I'm so glad you could pick up the fun elements in this, despite the fact that this is only dialogue! This was the first piece I wrote (for another fandom) and since then have written another only dialogue series and I find it so much fun and also very creative since you have to say everything in the dialogue that you would otherwise put in the description! Needless to say, bantering is the easiest to do in this genre of writing. But then again bantering with the kind of 'action' they were involved in in this story is tougher than you'd think!

Thanks for reading! 🤗

Originally posted by: EuphoricDamsel.

UNRES

Haaillaaa Lizzuuu Ye kya kiyaaa?! Hawwww ☺️☺️

Main tho gaya-

Yes this was different. Very different. Something that didn't expect and was pleasantly surprised by it. Even though there's little build up and they're shown going straight to the foreplay if I'm being honest it didn't need a prior setup yk.

There was no place for a set-up! It was wham- direct action! 😆

The THING that they found in the middle?

Imma be honest I didn't understand until the very end where they talk about it. I was blank for some reason. It happens with me sometimes. I am that way. 🤡

Well, in your defense it was meant to be that way! Readers weren't supposed to understand what they found until the very end! I saved that bit for the last punchline! Somehow when Shiva says it then it sounds totally sassy!

Car is a premise chosen by very few writers like actually very very very very few writers so this was a treat to read. Different, but good different.

Sundari and Susheela?!

Holy lord I cracked up SO BAD!!🤣🤣

You know I went with the usual Hindi dialogues from movies etc when they present a prospective bride to someone, or when the talk about a girl's good traits to anyone they'd say 'ladki sundar aur susheel hai'- or something like this. So I just took that bit of cheesy dialogue and ran with it! 😆

Likeeee woahhh man, hold it please! Chill.

Okay did she hurt him when she was trying to reach her purse? I think I deciphered it correctly but do correct me if I'm wrong. 😳

Yeah, in my head, she was reaching for the condom in her purse and it snapped on 'chattaan' momentarily blinding him! 😆 But perhaps she didn't and he was just teasing her- as it turned out to be!

Psst, I had different name for Chattaan initially but did not want to be politically incorrect or offend any sensibilities so scrapped that! 😆

The end? Superb. Getting an element of anxiousness with Dev nearing and them trying to get their shit together was some next level end.

Yeah, that's my fav part too, especially Raavi losing her uw! 😆

A lovely piece. Different? Definitely!

But it was a massive treat as usual.

Thanks babe. It was a shameless bit of self-indulgence but y'all are truly very kind to be so accepting of it! 🤗

🤣🤣

This was soo damn funny🤣

The best part was sundari and susheela😆🤣

They did it in dev's car....I wonder if he'll be the one to find out those panties or he'll have an amazing day and rishita finds them

It was different from the ones I have read....and it was amazing

Enjoyed it🧡

Originally posted by: Coleus

🤣🤣

This was soo damn funny🤣

The best part was sundari and susheela😆🤣

They did it in dev's car....I wonder if he'll be the one to find out those panties or he'll have an amazing day and rishita finds them

It was different from the ones I have read....and it was amazing

Enjoyed it🧡

Thanks Alisha! 🤗

I aimed for this to be different! 😎

Hmm about Dev or Rishita finding that lacy lingerie, I hadn't thought that far ahead! 😆

Perhaps Shiva will sneak into the car and get it before either of them do (and keep it as a token of their first time together? ☺️)