Education and love - Page 2

Originally posted by: Shri_12

Not a part of this forum (yet) but came across this topic.

In my humble opinion, I would say it depends on a lot of factors. First of all, education and literacy are 2 different things. Literacy means the ability to read and write (which literally means padha-likha) whereas education is much more deeper than that. Education involves ability to distinguish right from wrong and real-world life skills. Education comes from both books and world.

If personally asked, will I be with someone who is "lesser educated than me", then 90% no. It involves a lot of reasons. For one, a great chance of miscommunication. People who have not completed higher studies often think that studies are cakewalk, a formality and waste of time and money. This is more evident when the lesser educated one is a man. Second thing is insecurities. There are so many insecurities involving education. We all have heard at some point of time, directly or indirectly, likes of "Just because Parents let the daughter complete higher studies, she will teach men of house on how to do stuff", "What's the use of educating a girl, she has to handle kitchen only". Even in show, during Dhara's marriage, Suman said, "ladki padhi likhi hogi toh pura din hume padhaegi". Had Suman been educated, would she still utter those words. Then comes the doubts on girls' character, "She goes to office and stays there till late evenings, what kind of work does she do there?" Again this doubts are eliminated to great extent if both are similarly educated. If husband is earning less/ not earning then he can be constantly insecure about wife leaving him for someone better, thereby fanning the previous doubts. Also many less educated husbands berate their wife's achievements, just because they don't realize the hardwork they have put in to achieve that. Another point is lesser educated men are generally involved in labor-intensive jobs, while higher education job offers aren't labor-intensive. This fact makes them think that women's job is very easy since they don't put in physical hardwork, they totally ignore the mental work. Few years ago, this was the same reason why housewives were taunted that 'They just stay at home, doing nothing'. How many times have we layed awake in the middle of night wondering what's wrong with our project? Doesn't this stress count? Since the point of Financial security is already discussed in above posts, I would skip it here.

While complete education comes from life experiences, formal education does play a very important role in shaping one's personality. Formal higher education gives a chance for a healthy competition, enjoying company of like-minded people and overall a fun-filled youth.

While I agree with the posts saying that hardwork, skills and passion surpass formal education, it does only when the said person is open-minded enough to accept the freedom education brings in one's life, the responsibilities a woman's professional life has, respects, understands and applauds her achievements, considers her as an equal by sharing joint responsibilites and duties, giving her the place of a true, equal partner.

People here are choosing Shiva over Dev because, one its just a show, a story, two, we as audience know Shiva's back-story. If I were to meet Shiva as a stranger who doesn't know his story, I would NOT choose him.

So true,

We are viewing the show as an audience so we know both sides of the coin but if we look from pov she knows only what she has seen. And this is my personal opinion that if I were to marry a man who was less educated than me I wouldn't do that as being a good person at heart will not help u earn money and that is what at the end of the day is needed for a family to earn. Many men are their who don't want to marry girls who are less educated than them so here in Raavi's case I don't think she is wrong.

Marrying or not marrying a man less educated than you is a personal choice and Raavi has the right to refuse to marry someone on these grounds if she wants

What she does not have the right to do is to insult, mock and taunt Shiva at every turn because he is less educated than her, and look down upon him because of that. If she has accepted to stay married (for whatever reason), she needs to stop this behavior. I strongly dislike this aspect of her character and am waiting for her growth here!

My personal choice would be an honest, hardworking, caring and passionate Shiva any time over a wishy-washy, weak, fickle minded but "educated and polished" dev who can't make or stick to his decisions!

If anyone deserves love at all then it is Shiva, no question about it!

Originally posted by: Namita-M

Fantastic post!!

Shiva is the most amazing person. Yes, he’s not as educated as some but that guy is hardworking and passionate about his work and family.

I definitely think, no I know that Raavi looks down on Shiva!! Her attitude was subtle pre-marriage because she needed him to like her because she was going to marry his older brother.

Your question about education and deserving love is very much suited to Raavi as she does have a narrow mindset. She’s educated, good for her, does she utilize this knowledge to work? No, she doesn’t have any aspirations apart from getting married.

No offence but a person who has no aspirations looks down on a person who’s extremely hardworking and successful at what he does despite not being as educated as her!!

I don’t like hearing these words, unpad and gawar. I’ve been privileged and come from a part of the world that believes in education. However, if one isn’t as educated we don’t brand them.

It’s a rather pathetic mindset of entitled people who look down on others who aren’t as educated. I’m more inclined to say that these lazy, entitled people are the ones who don’t deserve it because of their regressive mindset.

Everything you've said is so true.👏👏

An educated person, having no career ambitions is something I can't understand. (I am not saying if its right or wrong, I am saying its something I can't relate to.)

Raavi saying that her only dream since childhood is to marry Dev, is well stupid, according to me (I sincerely apologize if I am being insensitive). You can't build your whole life around a boy! I have empathy for her, don't get me wrong. She has been wronged. I also acknowledge that feelings aren't under someone's control. But the amount of unhealthy attachment she had with Dev, she was bound to experience this crash. I think this heartbreak did her more good than bad (not just saying this because I like Shiva).

But even if I simply accept that she doesn't care about academic achievements, her real joy is in her family (there's nothing wrong in it), despite her heartbreak, it doesn't justify her behavior.

I know the importance of education, I do. I also recognize the difference it makes in the quality of lifestyle. But the way Raavi is insulting him, it's just plain wrong. Especially because Shiva understands the importance of education, even regrets not being educated. He isn't someone living off on his parents' income, he is doing the best he can.

education never tell us to insult someone or degrade other and calling your self most beautiful girl ,its like none ever got the education in her family or around her ,she is being very rude calling her husband gawk unparh and praising herself is called arrogant ,the person who came to rescue you on your big day when your lovey dovey could not even tell you before hand that he loves someone else and have no guts.i am waiting for suman to come so she will show you your place if you call him with these words .

Originally posted by: Shri_12

Not a part of this forum (yet) but came across this topic.

In my humble opinion, I would say it depends on a lot of factors. First of all, education and literacy are 2 different things. Literacy means the ability to read and write (which literally means padha-likha) whereas education is much more deeper than that. Education involves ability to distinguish right from wrong and real-world life skills. Education comes from both books and world.

If personally asked, will I be with someone who is "lesser educated than me", then 90% no. It involves a lot of reasons. For one, a great chance of miscommunication. People who have not completed higher studies often think that studies are cakewalk, a formality and waste of time and money. This is more evident when the lesser educated one is a man. Second thing is insecurities. There are so many insecurities involving education. We all have heard at some point of time, directly or indirectly, likes of "Just because Parents let the daughter complete higher studies, she will teach men of house on how to do stuff", "What's the use of educating a girl, she has to handle kitchen only". Even in show, during Dhara's marriage, Suman said, "ladki padhi likhi hogi toh pura din hume padhaegi". Had Suman been educated, would she still utter those words. Then comes the doubts on girls' character, "She goes to office and stays there till late evenings, what kind of work does she do there?" Again this doubts are eliminated to great extent if both are similarly educated. If husband is earning less/ not earning then he can be constantly insecure about wife leaving him for someone better, thereby fanning the previous doubts. Also many less educated husbands berate their wife's achievements, just because they don't realize the hardwork they have put in to achieve that. Another point is lesser educated men are generally involved in labor-intensive jobs, while higher education job offers aren't labor-intensive. This fact makes them think that women's job is very easy since they don't put in physical hardwork, they totally ignore the mental work. Few years ago, this was the same reason why housewives were taunted that 'They just stay at home, doing nothing'. How many times have we layed awake in the middle of night wondering what's wrong with our project? Doesn't this stress count? Since the point of Financial security is already discussed in above posts, I would skip it here.

While complete education comes from life experiences, formal education does play a very important role in shaping one's personality. Formal higher education gives a chance for a healthy competition, enjoying company of like-minded people and overall a fun-filled youth.

While I agree with the posts saying that hardwork, skills and passion surpass formal education, it does only when the said person is open-minded enough to accept the freedom education brings in one's life, the responsibilities a woman's professional life has, respects, understands and applauds her achievements, considers her as an equal by sharing joint responsibilites and duties, giving her the place of a true, equal partner.

People here are choosing Shiva over Dev because, one its just a show, a story, two, we as audience know Shiva's back-story. If I were to meet Shiva as a stranger who doesn't know his story, I would NOT choose him.

I agree with your points. They are realistic. Its true, that marrying someone less educated than yourself is too big of a risk, because insecurities can eat up anyone. However, its bit of a generalization to say that anybody who is less educated than their partner will necessarily be insecure. I do acknowledge that the ratio is higher, but not always true. Which is why its necessary to be sure of their mindset, and at the same time, one can never be too sure.

I also respect your view that you personally wouldn't marry someone less educated than yourself.

For the purpose of this question, I had assumed we are talking about a man like Shiva (I am sorry if I was unclear). Shiva does realize the importance of education, he regrets not being educated. His isn't insecure because his wife is more educated than him, he is insecure because he is not satisfied with his educational qualifications, (which people close to him make fun of) regardless of his wife's education.

Shiva has never discouraged Raavi from having a career, has he? It's Raavi herself who has no academic ambitions (whatever might be the reason behind it).

As to people choosing Shiva because they know his backstory is completely justified in my eyes, because well, they know his story. You saying that you wouldn't choose Shiva if he were a stranger to you is also agreeable to me. Like I already said, the risk is simply too big if its an unknown person.

I would also like to point out that my question wasn't whether you would choose Shiva or Dev. Nor was it would you marry someone less educated than you.

My question was whether education makes someone worthy or unworthy of love.

All the points you've mention are concerned with marriage.

If everything was ideal (unrealistic, I agree, but just assume so for this question). Say if the guy has a big family business which is stable, he is secure, has an open mindset, he and his family respect you and women in general, he is also a good person at heart. But he is less educated than you. Does that in anyway affect if he is worthy of love? Does it in anyway affect if he is worthy of respect?

Leave romantic feelings, you have a female friend who is a good person but she is less educated than you. Does that in anyway affect their worthiness for love and respect?

This post is really thought provoking, I liked to comment on this because this strikes me really hard when I watch out this show.

When it comes to education, it is worthy indeed, but the tenacity of education is only measured by how much it shapes us a person, moulds are behaviour, our thoughts, our intentions, even our choices too.
And in the subject of love if education really has to intervene it can work wonders herein but it solely depends on the person alone.
Shiva is a determined, hard working man who wants his family happy and toils hard to ensure their faces are always lit with a smile. If the sole purpose of Education is to feed our stomach and make ourselves a better person, then in my point Shiva is already one.
He has imbibed that from growing up in a family, gathering experience of life from a very tender age, dedicating himself to the family’s needs, he is more rational and discerned than any other person.
Today Shiva works for the Pandya store, he is thoroughly self sacrificing and has laid forward a path to the upliftment of his family, to the education of his brothers so and so forth.
According to me love is trust, selfless, devoting, care, oneness, eternal promise of togetherness, each of these facets could be scrupulously found in Shiva the lover of his family.
And without any doubt, he becomes the most eligible person in the love to win the war of love at any cost.

Jen

Originally posted by: Riddhi2Saini006

So true,

We are viewing the show as an audience so we know both sides of the coin but if we look from pov she knows only what she has seen. And this is my personal opinion that if I were to marry a man who was less educated than me I wouldn't do that as being a good person at heart will not help u earn money and that is what at the end of the day is needed for a family to earn. Many men are their who don't want to marry girls who are less educated than them so here in Raavi's case I don't think she is wrong.

I respect your views that you wouldn't marry someone less educated.

My question however was whether someone's educational qualifications affect their worthiness for love.

I also disagree that Raavi isn't wrong.

She knows Shiva since childhood, she knows what kind of a person he is. She also knew the status of his family. If she has a problem with any of these things, she shouldn't have married him.

Calling Shiva names isn't helping anybody. Also, Shiva isn't someone living off on his family's income. He does real work at the store.

Originally posted by: hedwig_potter

Everything you've said is so true.👏👏

An educated person, having no career ambitions is something I can't understand. (I am not saying if its right or wrong, I am saying its something I can't relate to.)

Raavi saying that her only dream since childhood is to marry Dev, is well stupid, according to me (I sincerely apologize if I am being insensitive). You can't build your whole life around a boy! I have empathy for her, don't get me wrong. She has been wronged. I also acknowledge that feelings aren't under someone's control. But the amount of unhealthy attachment she had with Dev, she was bound to experience this crash. I think this heartbreak did her more good than bad (not just saying this because I like Shiva).

But even if I simply accept that she doesn't care about academic achievements, her real joy is in her family (there's nothing wrong in it), despite her heartbreak, it doesn't justify her behavior.

I know the importance of education, I do. I also recognize the difference it makes in the quality of lifestyle. But the way Raavi is insulting him, it's just plain wrong. Especially because Shiva understands the importance of education, even regrets not being educated. He isn't someone living off on his parents' income, he is doing the best he can.

Another point to be noted is that just because one isn't as educated now is going to last a lifetime. There is no time limit on education.

My husband and I are both educated but after marriage, we have taken turns to study further. We are in two very different fields.

Shiva could do that now, nothing would stop him. He would just need support.

You aren't being insensitive. I feel the same way about Raavi. How can a girl build her whole life around a boy?!! It's baffling. There is more to life! She is more educated (formal education) but she's not smart. When I call her an airhead, it's not a compliment 😆

Look at DevTa, educated but don't have basic human decency! I honestly don't think education should determine if a person deserves love.

Even now, Raavi is all about herself. I get it she is heart-broken because of her unhealthy obsession and I sympathize a bit too but why her only? Do you know what I mean? I mean doesn't Shiva, deserve love too. Is she going to be honest and love him? Like always, her behaviour is of entitlement.

Originally posted by: hedwig_potter

I agree with your points. They are realistic. Its true, that marrying someone less educated than yourself is too big of a risk, because insecurities can eat up anyone. However, its bit of a generalization to say that anybody who is less educated than their partner will necessarily be insecure. I do acknowledge that the ratio is higher, but not always true. Which is why its necessary to be sure of their mindset, and at the same time, one can never be too sure.

Yes, I am generalizing things, not just with people in relationships, but for people in general.

I also respect your view that you personally wouldn't marry someone less educated than yourself.

For the purpose of this question, I had assumed we are talking about a man like Shiva (I am sorry if I was unclear). Shiva does realize the importance of education, he regrets not being educated. His isn't insecure because his wife is more educated than him, he is insecure because he is not satisfied with his educational qualifications, (which people close to him make fun of) regardless of his wife's education.

I am not sure if Shiva was shown insecure at any point in the show, since I just watch it on and off. But I think it's Shiva himself that made that choice for himself right? And if he's so bothered by it, why doesn't he continue his education then? It's never too late, after all.

Shiva has never discouraged Raavi from having a career, has he? It's Raavi herself who has no academic ambitions (whatever might be the reason behind it).

As to people choosing Shiva because they know his backstory is completely justified in my eyes, because well, they know his story. You saying that you wouldn't choose Shiva if he were a stranger to you is also agreeable to me. Like I already said, the risk is simply too big if its an unknown person.

I would also like to point out that my question wasn't whether you would choose Shiva or Dev. Nor was it would you marry someone less educated than you.

My question was whether education makes someone worthy or unworthy of love.

All the points you've mention are concerned with marriage.

If everything was ideal (unrealistic, I agree, but just assume so for this question). Say if the guy has a big family business which is stable, he is secure, has an open mindset, he and his family respect you and women in general, he is also a good person at heart. But he is less educated than you. Does that in anyway affect if he is worthy of love? Does it in anyway affect if he is worthy of respect?

I am sorry if my answer to the question was unclear. Let me clarify here. Every person who earns in a fair and dignified way is worthy of respect for his work. In order to respect a person, the first criteria would be you get respect in return. I can't respect a person who doesn't respect me. Respect also depends on person's nature. However, education is not the only factor for love, there is respect, understanding and so many more things. I can't say that a person is worthy of love solely on basis of education. The worth depends on so many more factors, trust being major one among it. If the question is Shiva worthy of love? Answer is Yes. Of respect. I would say depends.

Leave romantic feelings, you have a female friend who is a good person but she is less educated than you. Does that in anyway affect their worthiness for love and respect?

Answer is similar to previous one. If she is fair and respectful, she is worthy, else not

Responses in blue. Hope I have clarified everything. Thanks for your reply

Originally posted by: GrilledCheese

Marrying or not marrying a man less educated than you is a personal choice and Raavi has the right to refuse to marry someone on these grounds if she wants

What she does not have the right to do is to insult, mock and taunt Shiva at every turn because he is less educated than her, and look down upon him because of that. If she has accepted to stay married (for whatever reason), she needs to stop this behavior. I strongly dislike this aspect of her character and am waiting for her growth here!

My personal choice would be an honest, hardworking, caring and passionate Shiva any time over a wishy-washy, weak, fickle minded but "educated and polished" dev who can't make or stick to his decisions!

If anyone deserves love at all then it is Shiva, no question about it!

Exactly what I feel too! Agree with all your points❤️