Education and love

Hi guyyss!!!🤗

So I have been thinking about this for a long time, since the marriage episodes actually.

Shiva's education, his lifestyle has constantly been a subject of criticism by many characters. Its a major part of his insecurities, which in turn is a major part of his journey.

I have also been deeply affected by Raavi's "What a complete gawaar!"

I have also observed, that though Shiva might be less educated than others, but he is however one of the most hardworking people in the family.

I am also of the opinion that no job is small. The way I see it, Shiva working at the Pandya store might not be the fancy white collar job, but he is responsible and hardworking (to put it briefly).

So I would like to ask a serious question today.

Does someone's education make them worthy or unworthy of love?

Thoughts, comments, opinions, views, analysis, tell whatever you would like to. I would like to hear anything and everything you guys have to say on the subject, each one of you.😃❤️

Great Post.

Agree with everything you said. Shiva is so hardworking and he has an alert mind, he realizes things which smart Dev doesn’t.

As far as Raavi is concerned, I feel often we say stuff which we don’t mean that way.

Raavi has been like „ I am the prettiest etc“ so I think in like fashion ... Shiva is a gawar to her...

I really hope Writers don’t spoil Raavis character and she will support shiva when anyone else calls him that, because deep down she knows him very well.

Education is important, but if a person is not lazy, but in fact hardworking like Shiva I would personally prefer them.

That's a great post and agree with what you and Foxii have said above.

Here are my 2 cents.

To answer your question, one's education doesn't make them worthy of love. However, education makes a big part of relationship. For love is not the only ingredient in a successful relationship.

Every person looks for financial stability in his/her marriage. Since formal education makes it easier to attain that security, we consider that as a qualifier for a suitable match. And as much as I hate to say it, many society (especially Indian) expects the man to be a bread winner. A woman is likely to get away with less education as long as she looks pretty, because it's normal if she chooses to be a housewife. Unfortunately, a man is not looked with same respect (though he should) if he chooses to be the house husband and wife chooses to be the breadwinner.

If your relationship can work where woman is the bread winner, and the man is okay being a house husband or contribute to the family in other ways that are non-financial, if you don't let societal norms come in between your relationship and are confident and content in your arrangements, then I don't think there's a problem. But the key is not letting societal norms to get to you. Be aware of those who tell you "he's just leeching off of you". Being a housewife isn't easy as it seems. It's still a full time job. So what's wrong if the man chooses to have that job while the wife provides financially for the family?

Also, on a different note, though rare, there are also men who make living without formal education (e.g. Jobs and Gates-not best example as its a rare case). If a man is hard working, is willing to work hard for the family to have comfortable life-style (sole provider or not), I think I'd be okay being in marriage with him.

And in Shiva's case, though he doesn't have formal education, he is wise, has business acumen, and has been cruicial part in bringing the store to where its at today. Working there daily, he likelt knows the INS and outs of operations, be it customer/market demand, inventory management, supply chain management/efficiency, vendor relationships, business resiliency, and maybe contract management. He probably knows how to read people to know who's trustworthy or not. All of this can't be attained just because you have an MBA (I speak from personal experience). He has real-world experience, and if something in future were to go wary, one can be confident that he'd be able to work around and provide for the family and make the ends meet. Which to me, makes him worthy enough to be a good husband. And he has clean heart, which makes him worthy of love.

Ooooh I love this topic! I've been talking about this quite alot.

I've mentioned this before that I hate the use of the words 'gawar' and 'unpad' as insults towards Shiva. They both have major negative connotations associated with them and are used as deregoratory terms towards groups of people, anyone watching that may not be as educated as society expects them to be might get unfairly affected. But I believe it'll be used in the right way, as in they'll show it as wrong. Calling him bhoothnath, ghadhera etc don't bother me as they are only personal to him. Do I think Raavi knows what she's doing? No, even in insulting Shiva she seems to be as lost as she was when she was happy. She seems to have taken on the words of society to describe Shiva ever since she's been angry at him. Is this an excuse? No. She needs to learn to say things to the right people at the right time. For me her characterisation does not add up with how she's treated different members of the family.

Shiva lives for his family, his life centres around them and he'll do anything for them. Which is why he's always wanted to make Gaumbi and Dhara's lives with the store easier. Even when he was small, he chose to run away and not show his face rather than make false promises regarding his education. For me whilst basic education is a must, after a certain age I feel like people should be able to choose their own way. For me it's after 16years, after that you can head towards work experience, jobs, apprenticeships etc. Further education should be encouraged but not forced upon. Shiva has never been educationally inclined but that doesn't mean he isn't hardworking or passionate. He's passionate about something which is central to his family. Running a store requires alot of entrepreneurial skills, people management, problem solving skills, basic maths and a whole load of experience! Shiva would surely have that, and that's so impressive. Not only that, he's a very good judge of character, even with Raavi, he knows she's a good person but his blind judgement comes in because of Mami. Shiva is also very blunt and doesn't believe in playing with feelings. No matter how harsh he comes across, he'll be there for you when it really counts and won't even mention it to you. I think one of the reasons he adores Dhara and would've wanted someone like Dhara in his life is because she's extremely non-judgemental towards him. So not only is he worthy but he does get alot of love from his family.

Everyone has a right to choose their partner, you can reject a person, it's your right. But you do not have the right to bring them down using those words just because society said you can. If that's the case then you shouldn't have married them no matter the pressure. Not everyone will feel he's worthy, but for me if anyone is then it's him. He has alot of learning to do himself, but worthy of love is something he always been.

On a separate but similar note...it seems a few of them are educated. What'll be interesting to see is if they're able to use their education to help out with the store or are they planning to get different jobs altogether. Because the store might not be their dream at all.

Originally posted by: Foxii

Great Post.

Agree with everything you said. Shiva is so hardworking and he has an alert mind, he realizes things which smart Dev doesn’t.

As far as Raavi is concerned, I feel often we say stuff which we don’t mean that way.

Raavi has been like „ I am the prettiest etc“ so I think in like fashion ... Shiva is a gawar to her...

I really hope Writers don’t spoil Raavis character and she will support shiva when anyone else calls him that, because deep down she knows him very well.

Education is important, but if a person is not lazy, but in fact hardworking like Shiva I would personally prefer them.

Yes, I hope Raavi genuinely apologizes to Shiva later.😭

Originally posted by: Mountains_Lakes

That's a great post and agree with what you and Foxii have said above.

Here are my 2 cents.

To answer your question, one's education doesn't make them worthy of love. However, education makes a big part of relationship. For love is not the only ingredient in a successful relationship.

Every person looks for financial stability in his/her marriage. Since formal education makes it easier to attain that security, we consider that as a qualifier for a suitable match. And as much as I hate to say it, many society (especially Indian) expects the man to be a bread winner. A woman is likely to get away with less education as long as she looks pretty, because it's normal if she chooses to be a housewife. Unfortunately, a man is not looked with same respect (though he should) if he chooses to be the house husband and wife chooses to be the breadwinner.

If your relationship can work where woman is the bread winner, and the man is okay being a house husband or contribute to the family in other ways that are non-financial, if you don't let societal norms come in between your relationship and are confident and content in your arrangements, then I don't think there's a problem. But the key is not letting societal norms to get to you. Be aware of those who tell you "he's just leeching off of you". Being a housewife isn't easy as it seems. It's still a full time job. So what's wrong if the man chooses to have that job while the wife provides financially for the family?

Also, on a different note, though rare, there are also men who make living without formal education (e.g. Jobs and Gates-not best example as its a rare case). If a man is hard working, is willing to work hard for the family to have comfortable life-style (sole provider or not), I think I'd be okay being in marriage with him.

And in Shiva's case, though he doesn't have formal education, he is wise, has business acumen, and has been cruicial part in bringing the store to where its at today. Working there daily, he likelt knows the INS and outs of operations, be it customer/market demand, inventory management, supply chain management/efficiency, vendor relationships, business resiliency, and maybe contract management. He probably knows how to read people to know who's trustworthy or not. All of this can't be attained just because you have an MBA (I speak from personal experience). He has real-world experience, and if something in future were to go wary, one can be confident that he'd be able to work around and provide for the family and make the ends meet. Which to me, makes him worthy enough to be a good husband. And he has clean heart, which makes him worthy of love.

Yeah, I agree with whatever you've said.

Even I acknowledge that financial security cannot be ignored. But Shiva is not some stupid person incapable of doing anything, he tries, he is hardworking and I would say he is successful to a large extent.

You've explained it really well.👍🏼👍🏼

Originally posted by: Miss_SR

Ooooh I love this topic! I've been talking about this quite alot.

I've mentioned this before that I hate the use of the words 'gawar' and 'unpad' as insults towards Shiva. They both have major negative connotations associated with them and are used as deregoratory terms towards groups of people, anyone watching that may not be as educated as society expects them to be might get unfairly affected. But I believe it'll be used in the right way, as in they'll show it as wrong. Calling him bhoothnath, ghadhera etc don't bother me as they are only personal to him. Do I think Raavi knows what she's doing? No, even in insulting Shiva she seems to be as lost as she was when she was happy. She seems to have taken on the words of society to describe Shiva ever since she's been angry at him. Is this an excuse? No. She needs to learn to say things to the right people at the right time. For me her characterisation does not add up with how she's treated different members of the family.

Exactly what I feel.

But as to Raavi not realizing what she is doing, I don't agree (no offense). Raavi also has that judgmental attitude that uneducated people are somehow inferior. I am sure she will realize her mistake and come out of the narrow mindset. Maybe she also doesn't consciously think before insulting Shiva, I can accept that. But inherently in her mind she does believe that uneducated people are useless. And you might not agree with me on this but you have to agree that Shiva has accepted Raavi the way she is, but Raavi has not.

Shiva lives for his family, his life centres around them and he'll do anything for them. Which is why he's always wanted to make Gaumbi and Dhara's lives with the store easier. Even when he was small, he chose to run away and not show his face rather than make false promises regarding his education. For me whilst basic education is a must, after a certain age I feel like people should be able to choose their own way. For me it's after 16years, after that you can head towards work experience, jobs, apprenticeships etc. Further education should be encouraged but not forced upon. Shiva has never been educationally inclined but that doesn't mean he isn't hardworking or passionate. He's passionate about something which is central to his family. Running a store requires alot of entrepreneurial skills, people management, problem solving skills, basic maths and a whole load of experience! Shiva would surely have that, and that's so impressive. Not only that, he's a very good judge of character, even with Raavi, he knows she's a good person but his blind judgement comes in because of Mami. Shiva is also very blunt and doesn't believe in playing with feelings. No matter how harsh he comes across, he'll be there for you when it really counts and won't even mention it to you. I think one of the reasons he adores Dhara and would've wanted someone like Dhara in his life is because she's extremely non-judgemental towards him. So not only is he worthy but he does get alot of love from his family.

Everyone has a right to choose their partner, you can reject a person, it's your right. But you do not have the right to bring them down using those words just because society said you can. If that's the case then you shouldn't have married them no matter the pressure. Not everyone will feel he's worthy, but for me if anyone is then it's him. He has alot of learning to do himself, but worthy of love is something he always been.

Fully agree👏👏

On a separate but similar note...it seems a few of them are educated. What'll be interesting to see is if they're able to use their education to help out with the store or are they planning to get different jobs altogether. Because the store might not be their dream at all.

It would be interesting for sure😆

Beautiful post, I have replied in blue.

Fantastic post!!

Shiva is the most amazing person. Yes, he’s not as educated as some but that guy is hardworking and passionate about his work and family.

I definitely think, no I know that Raavi looks down on Shiva!! Her attitude was subtle pre-marriage because she needed him to like her because she was going to marry his older brother.

Your question about education and deserving love is very much suited to Raavi as she does have a narrow mindset. She’s educated, good for her, does she utilize this knowledge to work? No, she doesn’t have any aspirations apart from getting married.

No offence but a person who has no aspirations looks down on a person who’s extremely hardworking and successful at what he does despite not being as educated as her!!

I don’t like hearing these words, unpad and gawar. I’ve been privileged and come from a part of the world that believes in education. However, if one isn’t as educated we don’t brand them.

It’s a rather pathetic mindset of entitled people who look down on others who aren’t as educated. I’m more inclined to say that these lazy, entitled people are the ones who don’t deserve it because of their regressive mindset.

I'd choose a hard-working honest Shiva over a mewling Dev any day.

Coming back with my 2 cents post workout😆

Not a part of this forum (yet) but came across this topic.

In my humble opinion, I would say it depends on a lot of factors. First of all, education and literacy are 2 different things. Literacy means the ability to read and write (which literally means padha-likha) whereas education is much more deeper than that. Education involves ability to distinguish right from wrong and real-world life skills. Education comes from both books and world.

If personally asked, will I be with someone who is "lesser educated than me", then 90% no. It involves a lot of reasons. For one, a great chance of miscommunication. People who have not completed higher studies often think that studies are cakewalk, a formality and waste of time and money. This is more evident when the lesser educated one is a man. Second thing is insecurities. There are so many insecurities involving education. We all have heard at some point of time, directly or indirectly, likes of "Just because Parents let the daughter complete higher studies, she will teach men of house on how to do stuff", "What's the use of educating a girl, she has to handle kitchen only". Even in show, during Dhara's marriage, Suman said, "ladki padhi likhi hogi toh pura din hume padhaegi". Had Suman been educated, would she still utter those words. Then comes the doubts on girls' character, "She goes to office and stays there till late evenings, what kind of work does she do there?" Again this doubts are eliminated to great extent if both are similarly educated. If husband is earning less/ not earning then he can be constantly insecure about wife leaving him for someone better, thereby fanning the previous doubts. Also many less educated husbands berate their wife's achievements, just because they don't realize the hardwork they have put in to achieve that. Another point is lesser educated men are generally involved in labor-intensive jobs, while higher education job offers aren't labor-intensive. This fact makes them think that women's job is very easy since they don't put in physical hardwork, they totally ignore the mental work. Few years ago, this was the same reason why housewives were taunted that 'They just stay at home, doing nothing'. How many times have we layed awake in the middle of night wondering what's wrong with our project? Doesn't this stress count? Since the point of Financial security is already discussed in above posts, I would skip it here.

While complete education comes from life experiences, formal education does play a very important role in shaping one's personality. Formal higher education gives a chance for a healthy competition, enjoying company of like-minded people and overall a fun-filled youth.

While I agree with the posts saying that hardwork, skills and passion surpass formal education, it does only when the said person is open-minded enough to accept the freedom education brings in one's life, the responsibilities a woman's professional life has, respects, understands and applauds her achievements, considers her as an equal by sharing joint responsibilites and duties, giving her the place of a true, equal partner.

People here are choosing Shiva over Dev because, one its just a show, a story, two, we as audience know Shiva's back-story. If I were to meet Shiva as a stranger who doesn't know his story, I would NOT choose him.