Is it just me? - Kinda Controversial - Page 7

Originally posted by: SONIA441

5) Kitna bhi sacch jhutla do. In real life, none of the girls would be happy with a guy like Shiva who has no educational background but behaves as if he's the Jaykant Shikre of the town. Incase the CVs has forgotten overall, Raavi has been dealt with a pretty big blow here. But we're supposed to forget all that cos it's an ITV show & well, they d.o set our screens on Fire 🔥 with their chemistry ☺️ .

He has a bad temper , and he is bad with whosoever hurts his family ..he is just over protective about them... I agree the manhandling part is disturbing but it will change soon.... over all he isn't a bad character...he sacrificed his studies for his family, it's bec of him that dev calls himself "educated " ..gombi dhara and shiva's sacrifices made pandya family what it is today...Shiva is one character who is layered and the most interesting amongst them all.

Originally posted by: Transference

Hello, I haven’t seen you much around, so welcome to the forum 🤗

Now coming to your very valid post. Like most of our veteran EDT chippers Namita, Raingoddess pointed out, we all agree with the strange lecturing in the name of family and Rishita making some very valid points.

However, it’s NOT the content of her reasoning but her ATTITUDE of reasoning that irks everyone.

Rishita does make some very valid points but she is so self-centred and caustic when she talks without caring a bit for anyone else’s feelings.

She is downright condescending when she talks.

I sided with Rishita and have always defended her for not singing Kumbaya at the feet of Dhara. But, her attitude is TOXIC but her points are not.

I can understand from where her insecurity stems from. She loved a man for 2 years. That man didn’t stand up for her ever. He was ready to marry any other girl just because of his family. How can she love a family like that? Will she? She literally barged into his space, stood for herself and her love. Her bitterness and insecurities are HIGH. It’s Dev who is problematic and his attitude of a constipated emotional guy.

The family is all love but it’s not easy for anyone to start falling in love with them immediately.

Today too, instead of actually reprimanding her for openly kissing, Dhara gave her a lecture of keeping it to the bedroom.

The world has changed and couples can hold hands or display affection. She should have made her understand differently. Standing up for Raavi was amazing though.

I get where the makers are coming from. The entire India is at the cusp of a transition from Baby Boomers to millennials and now Gen Z.

Dhara -Gautam are those millennials who the older people want to see. For TRP’s. That’s why all the Samskaari lectures.

I find lot of things problematic in the show. Some words:

1. Bhagodi ki Beti- I am sorry but that’s insulting someone’s mother all the time.
2. petticoat Chalo- sexist and very unsettling for a gender neutral society we should be heading towards.

I know the world is changing. But even in western countries people don't make out in front of someone they know. And they surely don't do that in front of elders. And it is not just about that. Dev was not comfortable with kissing like that. She practically forced him to do that. If a husband is not allowed to force himself on his wife then so is not the wife. If this were vise varsa (i.e Dev had forced her) people would have been all over this issue. I know I would. Dev's falws are different issue.

And the way she looked at Dhara and said "Kiss kar rahe the" was wayyyyyyy out of line. Dhara was right here. Leave everyone else. Think about what kind of impact it would have had on Krish who is almost a child if he had seen her. I personally don't like PDA. But if a couple likes that it is their choice and I wouldn't judge them for that. But you don't behave the way she did.

Originally posted by: SONIA441

Ohho! Look who we have here!! 😳.

Looks like someone took my advice on watching a new show😎 & has already become enough of a fan to address quite a few points that I have been myself thinking.

We have had such small discussions here pehle bhi but I am absolutely thrilled to see that so many agree & have so many more valid points to share here after your post.

Things that I have noticed(it's a mix of what I like & not so....) :

1) Gaumbi (I love the nickname) & Dhara have too much gyaan to give couples who have married just 10yrs later to them. There have been episodes with almost 10-16mins of just sanskaar paath from them to the new couples 🙏

2) Rishita, I believe, has always brought up quite valid points that really needs to be addressed for the entire Pandya Family. But as we know even in real world, it's always more about how you PRESENT a point rather than the point itself. And that's what goes under the rug with her Brash & Brazen attitude. Noone would even listen to what she's saying cos of the rude way she behaves. I have mostly supported her cos I believe she's acting like this on a Defense Mechanism. Ofcourse, she feels out of place in a house where all the young adults have been pakka childhood friends & she feels everyone's out to ouster her cos of the way the marriage happened. Only thing, Dev has to make her understand things slowly but if he's able to where'll be the Masala that's needed for a prime time ITV Sitara Show so bhool jao that they'll show her as a character who can learn & understand.

3) Rishita's character is just being made the new scapegoat in the Family Drama as earlier it was Maami but now since she's the mother of Raavi who's a Daughter-in-Law of the house, they can't use her as a negative element anymore. And every ITV runs on this fuel. That's the only reason!!!

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4) I have never understood why Dev is being put down by everyone everytime. I don't wanna offend anyone but that keeps on happening even in quite a few of our FFs here but I take it, we're too involved with ShiVi here & a wrong has been done to Raavi here so it's acceptable in most cases. But eventually he's also the same person, who had stepped up for his Dhara Bhabhi when she was humiliated at the God-Bharai with or without Shiva. He's the same person who went & hit his girlfriend's Father for what they did to his Bhabhi & did choose his Bhabhi rather than his love. So when finally, his love has run from her own wedding, will definitely be killed by her Family & literally left her home to be with him, why wouldn't this sweet person accept her & want to live his life with her. I actually came to like the way Akshay Kharodia plays Dev.

5) Kitna bhi sacch jhutla do. In real life, none of the girls would be happy with a guy like Shiva who has no educational background but behaves as if he's the Jaykant Shikre of the town. Incase the CVs has forgotten overall, Raavi has been dealt with a pretty big blow here. But we're supposed to forget all that cos it's an ITV show & well, they d.o set our screens on Fire 🔥 with their chemistry ☺️ .

6) Khair, I love the witty lines that Krish has & he should be adored & cherished. That boy is ❤️ with all his cheerfulness & cuteness.

4. Agree with you on that one.

5. But I would have taken Shiva over Dev any day. He may be uneducated or a Jaykant Shikre but he has always defended and protected Raavi when she needed.

My two cents🙂

I agree Rishita does have some valid points but the way she says it is highly irritating. You can always put across your points without hurting the person in front of you. The person I am highly disappointed is actually Dev. Before marriage he broke up with Rishita because they dared to insult Dhara but now suddenly he is scared to even open his mouth. He needs to explain to her all his family customs. I mean she is new to the family isnt it the husband's duty to stand by his wife and help her adjust. It's good to be kind but isn't it even better to be honest. In the name of kindness he has spoilt two women's life. He was unable to hurt Raavi so he led her on and he is unable to show the facts to Rishita thereby making her get a bad name in the family. In all this he doesn't even feel the need to apologise to Raavi for leading her on. In the original there is a scene where he apologises and she says that she followed him only because she thought he reciprocated her feelings. A straightforward simple apology would do.

Dhara does seem interfering. Honestly in reality she would come across as highly annoying. Still it can't be denied that she has the brothers best interests in her mind. Agree she can tone down a bit. Makers needn't show her an angel at all times.

Agree that a hate marriage doesn't generally work in reality. And I have been saying this from the beginning. Manhandling needs to stop. I don't understand why they have to glorify manhandling in every ITv serials. I have to say I am really happy with Gaumbi-Dhara relationship in this regards.

Originally posted by: Peanutbolt

I really liked all your points. Dhara is a very very problematic character to the point of being suffocating. I liked the pre leap dhara but this post leap dhara with her sanskaar gyaan and mollycoddling is very irritating and problematic.

I was absolutely appalled at the way she handled Krish’s cigarette issue with Shiva slapping him just cause he raised his voice against dhara.

I also understand your point about shiva, but I also think it what Shiva the character is. From his childhood, Shiva’s character has always been overprotective about his family. And the way Anita dumped gaumbi at Alter had a lasting impact on him. Honestly the entire scene was very intense and Shiva feels Dhara came like a angel to save gaumbi when everyone was saying who would marry him. And post that, never during marriage he felt alienated because of Gaumbi’s marriage partly due to Dhara’s need to mother the kid due to her past trauma with her mom. So Shiva is now unconditionally attached to Dhara and feels the need to be unconditionally support her. He didn’t even question dhara when she asked to marry Raavi. He sort of put her on pedestal and that’s where I feel Raavi will play a role in giving him a perspective on how people can be good and not be his dhara bhabhi.

w.r.t Dev, I didn’t mind his soft nature till the marriage episodes. I don’t fault him to not disclosing his relationship with rishita at home because honestly he felt he had time. But the way the marriage was fixed and the little time he had, he had hard time grappling the situation. But the decent thing for him to do would be to just let raavi know about his feelings and then backout of entire marriage thing. He had been mute spectator throughout and it is irritating. Shiva had constantly warned him about raavi’s feelings, but he had to talk about how he is not brute and harsh and is a gentleman. He should have not married rishita at alter if his family was so important as he claimed, but waha pe bhi kamzor pad gaya, post marriage not a one word of apology. He instead gets defensive and fights.

I agree with all of your points.

Since I have started watching from the wedding episode only, I can't say whether I would have liked Dhara more pre-leap or not. Neither do I have a proper idea about why Shiva is so attached to Dhara.

But the bottom line is, I find him problematic. If you love someone, you tell them when they are wrong; even if they are your elder. Shiva's devotion is such that it doesn't matter if Dhara is doing right or wrong. If she had asked her to marry a monkey also, he would have done it. So I don't really sympathize with him. He could have taken a decision. Instead, he married the girl he hated his entire life and keeps blaming Dev for everything. Dev didn't force him to marry Raavi. Why is it necessary to taunt him every step of the way how he has become a Joru Ja Ghulam?

About Dev, I agree. He has never been firm and frankly speaking, he doesn't know how to handle a situation. People keep pointing to Janardhan's upbringing but personally I think it's his hero worshipping of Dhara that made Rishita so resentful towards her in the first place. It's one thing to love and respect someone. But you go on a date and keep talking about your Bhabi's sacrifice, only ITV FLs would go gaga over such relation. Any normal girl would feel annoyed at it and start disliking the person who is constantly between her and her BF/husband.

So bloody true! They shouldn’t use Rishita’s character to showcase what has been shown already in 60+ episodes 🤷‍♀️ Rishita could have provided a different angle to the story’s narrative.

Exactly!

Dev messed up by not speaking out in time but koi usse pooch leta pehle whether he wants to get married to avoid the ensuing mess. Dhara also saw that he would be unhappy marrying Raavi and tried at her end. That’s why she went to ask for Rishita’s hand and got slapped. That was painful to watch but an important bonding moment. Loved how Dev and Shiva stood up for their Bhabhi and band bajoed Rishita ki sadi hui family. Dev refused to marry Rishita initially but hungama ho gaya on wedding day 🤷‍♀️ Somewhere I sympathise with the crazy situation he was in too.

Me too!

Gautam shouldn’t have assumed that just because he fell in love with Dhara, Dev would also love Raavi after marriage. The whole secrecy and kaand happened because of his insistence on this point.

TBH, I loved Dhara's reaction a lot more than Gautam's when Dev said he loved someone else. She was shocked but she wanted to call off the wedding or at least tell Raavi the truth. Gautam fearing for his little brother's safety is justified but him assumption was not. I genuinely felt bad for Dhara until she came up with the idea of ShiVi marriage.

In a way, Gautam isn’t wrong on this statement. Dev would have gone ahead with marrying Raavi anyway. Raavi would have agreed to marry him too. If she can marry a guy she hates due to family coercion, she can definitely marry the man who she loves if pushed enough 🤷‍♀️

I slightly disagree here. The moment Rishita reached on the spot, situation changed. Yes, Raavi might marry Dev also he did support Rishita at that point. He knew the girl had left everything behind and he had to hold her hand. Shiva marrying Raavi helped his situation but either way, after Janardhan fiasco and how Rishita stood against him, I don't think Dhara or any other family member would still force him to marry Raavi. Neither would Prafulla want such a marriage for her niece. So it's not the sacrifice alone that helped them to get married.

Originally posted by: _charu_

There is a whole lot of difference between doing something in love , for other person's sake and being selfish. Pandya family is the former and rishita the later

In the whole marriage fiasco, dhara had her share of mistakes , for which she was apologetic. dhara wronged shiva and raavi and she was dishonest throughout the track.....The biggest fool was dev who couldn't tell the truth to raavi or rishita and was ready to marry raavi and ruin both their lives. Everything started with dhara mu that he loves raavi, she was reprimanded enuf for this and nobody is denying she was wrong. Gautam himself clarified to his mom that dev was the real culprit here..he was given a choice n dhara also tried to hook him up with rishita when she learnt the truth. Again, it was dharas mistake to suggest Shiva raavi marriage at that time but a lot was discussed , raavi was at the verge of suicide and everyone feared her life will be like Anita's. In conservative societies girl being rejected on the altar is a big thing ..to save the family honor of both families dhara suggested this..

Dunno why Shiva is being blamed , Shiva was the one who requested dev to tell raavi the truth ..that he doesn't love her but dev didn't.. dev made a conscious decision to marry raavi.....shiva doesn't have a problem with dev and rishitas love, he has a problem with rishita rubbing it on everybody's faces that she and dev are so much in love . Raavi is hurt by her useless comments and Shiva is just reacting to it . He is reminding dev in his own way ( which is rude I agree ) , that dev must be the one to explain rishita that their family means a lot to them.if this is not an ideal family then who is ? Ghum Parivar? 😆 Everyone except rishita is fighting for each other's happiness , not theirs.

I pretty much agree with your points but then again, your comment itself answers your questions.

It has been said time and again that Rishita's certain demands are not wrong. But the way she presents her opinion, rubs her relation on everybody's face - that's what make us dislike her.

I am blaming Shiva for that only. If he wants Dev to correct his mistakes, there's a civil way to do it without passing sexist comments. And at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own decision. Who coerced you into doing it doesn't matter. He married Raavi and that's a fact. There's no point blaming Dev now or blaming it on Rishita.

And as far as functional family is concerned, that point has also been raised by the TM that it's saccharine sweet in ITV but it's not ideal. Either you have a Sanskar se bhara pada family like this or a criminal one like Ghum as you mentioned. Grownass men who can't think between their Bhabi dearest - that's not what I call maturity or that's not the type of familial bond I endorse.

But we can definitely agree to disagree here.

Looks like most of us agree on a lot of the problematic behaviour the pandya phamily is showing rather than blaming Rishita alone!😆

Don't get me wrong, she is for sure rude and doesn't put her point across in a manner where people would listen to her reasons but I wish they have given her more of a new generation twist without the vamp angle! :/

Originally posted by: nushy1995

I pretty much agree with your points but then again, your comment itself answers your questions.

It has been said time and again that Rishita's certain demands are not wrong. But the way she presents her opinion, rubs her relation on everybody's face - that's what make us dislike her.

I am blaming Shiva for that only. If he wants Dev to correct his mistakes, there's a civil way to do it without passing sexist comments. And at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own decision. Who coerced you into doing it doesn't matter. He married Raavi and that's a fact. There's no point blaming Dev now or blaming it on Rishita.

And as far as functional family is concerned, that point has also been raised by the TM that it's saccharine sweet in ITV but it's not ideal. Either you have a Sanskar se bhara pada family like this or a criminal one like Ghum as you mentioned. Grownass men who can't think between their Bhabi dearest - that's not what I call maturity or that's not the type of familial bond I endorse.

But we can definitely agree to disagree here.

I'd suggest you to watch it from gombi dhara wedding to know the actual family dynamics. They aren't ideal family but they are better than the scheming ones and hateful ones. Everyone has the weaknesses including dhara gombi and shiva but I can't ignore the sacrifices they made for this family , bec of which they are who they are...

I dunno which wrongs of dhara are you talking about Like I said one needs to see what dhara did for them to know why she is worshipped by the family. Dhara may have committed mistakes but they were mistakes , she wasn't wrong,in the sense that she always acts in the family's best interests.... Dhara wasnt gaining anything out of dev raavi or dev rishita or Shiva Raavi marriage....I won't blame her for being selfless..is it that bad to be good ? . She chose not to have her own children so that these 3 brothers are not ignored.

Shiva isn't blaming dev for his Nd raavis marriage...he never showed any regret for marrying raavi.... Shiva is only irritated (with dev specifically) bec rishita is hurting his family members including raavi...dev is unable to stop her....When gombi and dhara explain dev and rishita in a civil way, that is overdose of sanskar and lectures and when Shiva does it , he is put in the same league as rishita? That's unfair. Both ways rishita refuses to understand. Like she is uncontrollable so is Shiva.

Agree to disagree , the family has their plus and minus points but that doesn't justify rishita in any way. She is worse than any of them .

Originally posted by: nushy1995

I agree with all of your points.

Since I have started watching from the wedding episode only, I can't say whether I would have liked Dhara more pre-leap or not. Neither do I have a proper idea about why Shiva is so attached to Dhara.

(Dhara Gautam BFFs from childhood. She attached very much to his bros keep coming Gautam home Irrespective of his mom treating her bad -Shiva attached very much than other two towards Dhara .he don't spare his mother actions against her .

The way Gautam Dhara marriage happened- with lot of insult done by Anita and Mami , Dhara is Angel in Shiva eyes who married Gautam for them , who tolerating his mom antics .

After her entry(to show how lucky she is to PS family)is resulted his mom voice came back👍🏼 before in paralyzed condition she unable to move or speak

The store which mortgaged which occupied by the goons Dhara -Gautam with their mutual efforts saved . How Dhara helped throughout is much impact in bros eyes - she is Angel in their lives Addition her motherly love towards them

Suman tried once for Gautam remarriage she don't want Dhara in their lives -Shiva terrified that marriage broker

Shiva is bully in school the HM given TC and Dhara tried to change him warned if He not listen she never talk with him- Shiva left home .Gautam n bros taken him back

Suman warns no repeat such scene else she commit suicide which scared Dhara

This are there few attachments since start

But the bottom line is, I find him problematic. If you love someone, you tell them when they are wrong; even if they are your elder. Shiva's devotion is such that it doesn't matter if Dhara is doing right or wrong. If she had asked her to marry a monkey also, he would have done it. So I don't really sympathize with him. He could have taken a decision. Instead, he married the girl he hated his entire life and keeps blaming Dev for everything. Dev didn't force him to marry Raavi. Why is it necessary to taunt him every step of the way how he has become a Joru Ja Ghulam?

Entire marriage faisco exact copy of OG and all versions .

About Dev, I agree. He has never been firm and frankly speaking, he doesn't know how to handle a situation. People keep pointing to Janardhan's upbringing but personally I think it's his hero worshipping of Dhara that made Rishita so resentful towards her in the first place. It's one thing to love and respect someone. But you go on a date and keep talking about your Bhabi's sacrifice, only ITV FLs would go gaga over such relation. Any normal girl would feel annoyed at it and start disliking the person who is constantly between her and her BF/husband.

Bold about Preleap 👍🏼

Rishita character have more scope if deal properly but expecting in Hindi version is heard OG done ✔ lot better. My region it's worse than Hindi unbearable 🤔