The Ugly Truth Vs Pretty Little Lies

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elle45

@elle45

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#11

Hey Alizzay... Am new to the Paki forums but I had to say I love your post.

Was going to write a long response here but then I saw everyone has already said it all.

Even I think that whether to lie or tell the truth depends entirely on the situation. A little white lie to keep someone's feelings (like telling someone who's gone through a lot of effort that they look nice, when infact they look just so-so)is ok.

For big lies, there are 2 types of situations. One is hiding the truth from people just to keep someones respect. Example if someone fails in an exam and you hide it from ppl so no one thinks bad about the kid. That's ok. The other is when you build a relationship by hiding the truth. For example, you have failed your exam yet you are applying for a job claiming you passed. That is completely and morally wrong.
Any sort of relationship built on deceit is just wrong. Be it personal or professional.

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Artful_Dodger

@Artful_Dodger

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

#12

@pakindmuziq

i hear you .. and that's the right thing to do .. i mean be honest .. but if the choice is to hurt the very people you love dearly ... that's when it starts to get complicated ... i am a god fearing person myself, so i'd like to avoid lying as much as i possibly can 😳

@ elle45

welcome elle ...🤗 (although i find it rather odd to welcome people in places which i don't own LOL 😆)

awww why did you hold back .. its okay .. this thread is meant for discussions .. there's no rule about 'not repeating points' so speak your heart out ... there's no fine 😆

nicely put though ... i guess its all about perspectives and situations and all that stuff ... there can't be a straight answer ... or so i believe 😕

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Ameres

@Ameres

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: Alizzay..

i agree ... it again boils down to "you're doomed if you do and you're doomed if you don't"

you are right though, about putting it in a better way so that it doesn't come across as too shocking or rude ... but how do you tell someone that they don't really have much time to live? doctors do that all the time ... some psychology related stuff i guess ... but i guess the difference is in the intention (neeyat) 😕

Well if the situation is so bad like the example you gave about some one dying then well...theres no way to put it nicely i guess. But yes do tell the truth. I mean you wont lie to that person and say hey you are perfectly fine when they are not.

Its advisable to tell the truth to avoid future complications i believe so that the person maybe prepared for it.

Yes intentions count. Most of the time people say i did lie but meri neeyat achi thi.

And talking about neeyat im always reminded of the Hadith 'aamal ka daromadar neeyat par hai.' Beshak yai hai and Allah knows.

But at times it happens so you had good intentions but your actions may back fire. So i believe one should be or atleast try to tell the truth when ever possible and avoid lying.

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Artful_Dodger

@Artful_Dodger

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: sugaryanu

Well if the situation is so bad like the example you gave about some one dying then well...theres no way to put it nicely i guess. But yes do tell the truth. I mean you wont lie to that person and say hey you are perfectly fine when they are not.

Its advisable to tell the truth to avoid future complications i believe so that the person maybe prepared for it.

Yes intentions count. Most of the time people say i did lie but meri neeyat achi thi.

And talking about neeyat im always reminded of the Hadith 'aamal ka daromadar neeyat par hai.' Beshak yai hai and Allah knows.

But at times it happens so you had good intentions but your actions may back fire. So i believe one should be or atleast try to tell the truth when ever possible and avoid lying.

Agreed. and very well said indeed 😊 and in any case, the truth somehow always finds a way to be known ... doesn't stay hidden for too long .. so i guess its better to be honest right away than to get exposed later on .. might as well save some embarrassment or regret

btw, i must clarify that reading some of my own comments it might come off as i prefer lies to truth and that is sooo not the case 😆.. just wanted to add that i prefer to hear the brutal truth myself .. rather than be consoled by comforting lies .. maybe that's cuz i guess i can handle it well

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Ameres

@Ameres

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

#15

Alizzay-- Thanks. :D

Agree. Lets save us the embarrassment and others the pain that lie causes afterwards.

Lol no it didnt seem so.

Yeah we all want to hear the truth but do we actually get to hear it all the time? No. And it may seem from the way I'm advocating truth that I'm the most honest person but am I really?...Perhaps no.

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367945

Suspended

Posted: 14 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: Alizzay..
thank you guys 🤗

@seert - aww thank you soo much ... you have no idea how much that means to me 😳 i hope (for my own sake) that it's the complete truth 😆 **kidding** Your very welcome and you did do a good job...and it is the ugly truth ;p

@topic - i have always been baffled about when is the right time to lie or rather cover up a major ugly truth ... and i seem to run into many such occasions lately 😕 True it's not a right or wrong thing but I really do think being honest most times is prolly the best policy. But one doesn't always need to be brutally honest...sometimes sugarcoating does wonders.

LOL about honesty being the best policy ... we are taught to be honest and truthful since childhood and ironically we are taught to lie as well or at least suppress the urge to tell the truth ...

i remember being reprimanded by my mum once, when (as a kid) i blurted out that one of my mum's friends indeed looked fat ... (she asked i was merely replying) i must've been like 4 or 5 y.o. but i remember my mum made me apologize to her ... i was baffled then .. but i know better now 😆 Ouch that must have been bad and this too for a question which we all know the reply is a no...even if they are fat or not.

i agree about the part where you mentioned that it's okay to withhold truth about trivial issues like someone cooking for the first time and stuff ... but it gets complicated when you can't decide what's trivial and what's not .. i mean who is to decide? as in what's insignificant to you might be really important to someone you lied to right? i mean that is a possibility I think it depends on the situation and the person involved. I mean if you really care about them then you'll think about all the factors and the implications of your answer. If not then honestly your answer or their feelings on hearing your answer won't matter much to you or them.