The Ugly Truth Vs Pretty Little Lies

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Artful_Dodger

@Artful_Dodger

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Posted: 14 years ago

The Ugly Truth Vs Pretty Little Lies

Okay before we start, lemme clarify , this isn't the movie vs. the show debate ..😆

So' well, I got this idea from two of my current fav shows PJP and Pretty little liars ' both having (somewhat) similar themes

Whether to hide the truth and lie to save relationships and protect our loved ones 'OR ' be brutally honest at the cost of losing it all

The effect of both can be devastating ' its like you're doomed if you tell the truth and you're doomed if you lie

So here's my question ' what is the right thing to do? Should one be brutally honest AT ALL TIMES and risk hurting our loved ones -- OR ' should we embrace the pretty side of lies? 😕

So ' Which side are you on? What option would you rather pick? fire away ... 😎

If you have ever lied to someone or been lied to LIKE my post and Comment 😲 😆

Edited by Alizzay.. - 14 years ago

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367945

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Posted: 14 years ago

Quite a philosophical thought Alizzay and an excellent presentation...I like how you took the time out to make your post more aesthetic :)

Moving on to the actual topic:
Honesty is the best policy? But then there's also all those religious, philosophical and moral teachings that tell us to be nice to people. I don't think it's a straightforward black and white answer. I'd say that it depends on the situation, the person, the lie/truth as well a few other factors.

If it's something as small as telling someone their first poor attempt at cooking, drawing, or some other hobby is a good first try and they should keep going then it's fine. Don't break their heart, tell them it's good based on their past expertise and knowledge and they should keep learning b/c life is all about learning or something else to encourage them. Nevertheless if it's something along the lines of your report sucks and you'll get a bad mark then be honest because you lying doesn't help them...it only makes them feel good in the very short term future but then there are going to be repercussions.

So what I'm trying to say in this long spiel is that it depends on the situation and if your truth can help them be honest. But try dealing with the situation sensitively based on the person, and the lie/truth.
Ultimately though, when you get out in the real world, your employer won't necessarily be concerned about your feelings. He/she will want the best result and everyone has to hear their share of the good and bad...so always being nice to family and friends even when they're failing is actually doing a disservice to them. Sometimes we all need some tough love.

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Ameres

@Ameres

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Posted: 14 years ago

Hm I quite agree with Seert here. It depends on situation and the people involved.

We do lie all the time. Pretty little lies as you say. Mostly are harmless but it sets the base for bigger ones i believe. Kehte haina 'ek jhoot ko chupane ke liye su jhoot bolne padte hain'. Lol. Its quite right I believe. One lie leads to another and another. And soon we are tangled in a web of lies.

At times situations are such that you have to lie. Why? To save others the pain the truth may cause them. Saving them the emotional trauma and letting them live in their bubble. But I believe its better to tell the truth even if it hurts because even if you hide it now, sooner or later it will come out. And then, when their bubble will burst it will hurt even more.

Yes the truth will hurt but atleast that way they will know what they are dealing with and eventually will find a way to over come it.

Also there is always a way of putting it. Things can always be said in a better way.

Truth is a bitter medicine that we all have to take.

Interesting post. :))

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367945

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Posted: 14 years ago

^Oh for sure. And I like how you pointed out the web of lies...I've seen it happen so many times and it irks me. The reason being that the liar only said the first lie so that he/she doesn't hurt the other person but now they're in a big mess.

The thing is we need to deal with problems head on as opposed to lying and pretending everything's okay...especially if it concerns someone you care about.

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Ameres

@Ameres

Stunner

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: seert
^Oh for sure. And I like how you pointed out the web of lies...I've seen it happen so many times and it irks me. The reason being that the liar only said the first lie so that he/she doesn't hurt the other person but now they're in a big mess.

The thing is we need to deal with problems head on as opposed to lying and pretending everything's okay...especially if it concerns someone you care about.

I have seen it too and yes it leads to a bigger mess than the truth could actually make.

@bold-- Agree. :)

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@-RD-

Stunner

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Posted: 14 years ago

Awesome topic

Ummm its kinda like horses for courses ...depending on the situation and people involved u can choose either ...there is really no definite right way ...its pretty much circumstantial ...but at the start of any relationship i think its best to be brutally honest ...because then if the relationship is formed the foundation runs deep and is really strong ...but then again it brings me to think that if a relationship is true ...then why shud any truth hurt it ...but i guess no relationship is that strong ...except that what a mother shares with her child...cause her love remains the same however harsh the truth abt her child may be

Edited by rdfan - 14 years ago

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Artful_Dodger

@Artful_Dodger

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Posted: 14 years ago

thank you guys 🤗

@seert - aww thank you soo much ... you have no idea how much that means to me 😳 i hope (for my own sake) that it's the complete truth 😆 **kidding**

@topic - i have always been baffled about when is the right time to lie or rather cover up a major ugly truth ... and i seem to run into many such occasions lately 😕

LOL about honesty being the best policy ... we are taught to be honest and truthful since childhood and ironically we are taught to lie as well or at least suppress the urge to tell the truth ...

i remember being reprimanded by my mum once, when (as a kid) i blurted out that one of my mum's friends indeed looked fat ... (she asked i was merely replying) i must've been like 4 or 5 y.o. but i remember my mum made me apologize to her ... i was baffled then .. but i know better now 😆

i agree about the part where you mentioned that it's okay to withhold truth about trivial issues like someone cooking for the first time and stuff ... but it gets complicated when you can't decide what's trivial and what's not .. i mean who is to decide? as in what's insignificant to you might be really important to someone you lied to right? i mean that is a possibility

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Artful_Dodger

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Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: sugaryanu
Hm I quite agree with Seert here. It depends on situation and the people involved.

We do lie all the time. Pretty little lies as you say. Mostly are harmless but it sets the base for bigger ones i believe. Kehte haina 'ek jhoot ko chupane ke liye su jhoot bolne padte hain'. Lol. Its quite right I believe. One lie leads to another and another. And soon we are tangled in a web of lies.

At times situations are such that you have to lie. Why? To save others the pain the truth may cause them. Saving them the emotional trauma and letting them live in their bubble. But I believe its better to tell the truth even if it hurts because even if you hide it now, sooner or later it will come out. And then, when their bubble will burst it will hurt even more.

Yes the truth will hurt but atleast that way they will know what they are dealing with and eventually will find a way to over come it.

Also there is always a way of putting it. Things can always be said in a better way.

Truth is a bitter medicine that we all have to take.

Interesting post. :))

i agree ... it again boils down to "you're doomed if you do and you're doomed if you don't"

you are right though, about putting it in a better way so that it doesn't come across as too shocking or rude ... but how do you tell someone that they don't really have much time to live? doctors do that all the time ... some psychology related stuff i guess ... but i guess the difference is in the intention (neeyat) 😕

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Artful_Dodger

@Artful_Dodger

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Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: rdfan
Awesome topic

Ummm its kinda like horses for courses ...depending on the situation and people involved u can choose either ...there is really no definite right way ...its pretty much circumstantial ...but at the start of any relationship i think its best to be brutally honest ...because then if the relationship is formed the foundation runs deep and is really strong ...but then again it brings me to think that if a relationship is true ...then why shud any truth hurt it ...but i guess no relationship is that strong ...except that what a mother shares with her child...cause her love remains the same however harsh the truth abt her child may be

thank you rdfan 😳

yes, all relationships must be based on honesty ... that i agree .. but i am not really sure about being brutally honest .. like i have a friend who's been with me since the 1st grade .. and she has this awful taste in clothes .. the colours the style everything ... and i know people make fun of her for that ... but i can't bring myself to tell her to change ... cuz my elders have always told me that if you really like the person you shouldn't expect them to change ... so i have never had the courage to tell her what i really feel... but then again ... i don't know if i care what she wears .. cuz beneath those hideous clothes she is a gem of a person and i don't wanna lose her friendship ... so yes i am hiding a truth (idk if that's lying)

awww about the mum thing 😳 that's why we all love them don't we 😊

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-Lostindreams

@-Lostindreams

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Posted: 14 years ago

#10

I really liked the discussion here and i agree on the part tht it very much depends on the situation.

The biggest problem abt a lie is whn u lie u need to remember it so u tell the same thing 2 evryone. The other problem is if ppl actually starts to lie, they will continue 2 lie in the future too, age jake pata nahi kaun sa bhara jhoot hoga.

And the last thing as some one mentioned "ek jhoot chupane ke liye sau jhoot bolne parhte hai".

I remember i was member of an sms service, it was a girl who sent islamic quotes, so if we have to follow it we have to tell the truth no matter how the outcome wud be.

Personally im very much into telling the truth to evryone, i have evn been scolded by my parents coz they thought i spoke 2 much truth and straight. Though i have told lies, but those lies has been like some small ones which wont really effect. Coz i feel if i tell a lie i wont be able to look my parent/grandparents in their eyes or evn mine. As much i want to lie some times it always ends up tht i don't do the thing i was going to lie abt and evn i lie on a small thing i get a really bad feeling.

Although do feel there can come situation where the only choice u have is nothing but to lie, and im not talking abt ager ghalat kaam kiya hai to jhoot pe jhoot bolo (i simply hate whn ppl do tht), but more like if ppl know sach bolne se sirf hungama hi ga, im specially talking abt situations like if some is in pain already i don't feel there is a need to tell them truth whn a lie can make them happy.

But then again, i personally like if ppl tell the truth 2 me, NO MATTER wht it is.

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