Posted:
This is pushing the envelope a bit but I thought I should provoke some debate. I believe folks like Caryn agree that one of the reasons why serials perpetuate the oppression of women and other sins is that Indian society itself has not kept pace with the changing world, so perhaps we should discuss just what are those cultural values that hold back Indian society.
at the outset i must disagree with you....if the indian society had not kept pace with the changing world...the medium of television will not be portraying something that is considered both a sin and illegal!!! maybe if the viewer had a more positive attitude....they would see the illegal part of this and try and work and uproot the perpetration of the oppression of women in society in general. the cultural values do not keep any country lagging behind, nor its society backward. on the contrary, cultural values and tradition keep a history live. in addition to art and literature,lifestyles, ways of living together, value systems, traditions and beliefs, it is the distinctive spiritual, material, intellectual and emotional features of a society or a social group that binds the society and make it whole.
I'd say one such value is the notion of the sanctity of marriage. Nothing wrong with that notion; marriage is a sacred institution. Except that traditional Indian society often never allowed freedom of choice in marriage -- or in most other matters. Traditional Indian society frowns on any form of individual gratification and elevates respect for one's parents to a value greater than even religious piety. (I use the present tense as a large swathe of Indian society is still traditional in its values). Traditional Indian society puts a premium on family honour and enjoins communal consensus. Marriage is often a family decision and has nothing to do with how the individuals in question -- bride and groom -- feel about one another. This is why our poor Madhan of Anandham could not stand up to RK and profess his love for Rohini but instead found himself forced into a loveless arranged marriage with Abhirami. Hence, his continued affair with Rohini.
are you actually giving him a reason for his immoral behaviour??? should he not have gotten himself a divorce or something BEFORE he got into the affair???
besides, he had no courage to stand up to his family about his marriage, but has all the guts to sneakily have an affair huh???
poor madhan indeed!!!
(Of course, his re-marriage to Rohini has now soured because of his MCP ways but that is another matter; Indian society doesn't have a monopoly on male chauvinism. And, as I always keep saying, Indian women have had a significant role in conditioning their sons into thinking they were born to be waited upon by women. Anyway, the issue of male chauvinism has been adequately addressed in a separate thread.)
I am not condoning the practice of "second wives" that many of you claim the serials (unwittingly) glorify. But perhaps we need to understand why the phenomenon has arisen. It may not always be due to lechery and disrespect for first wives. (Incidentally, this institution of the second wife seems to be a socially accepted one, judging by the fact that Tamilnadu chief ministers themselves have practised it. And, I am told that it's not always the first wife who suffers in such polygamous marriages; it's often the second wife who suffers in silence.)
Forced marriages may be one reason why men seek gratification outside marriage, as mentioned earlier.
men seek gratification if it falls at their feet. if it is available. if they feel like it. if they think it is due to them. if an opportunity comes by...and there must many more exuses....i cant think of them all!!! but all told...get rid of the wife before you turn to anybody....what is wrong in that??? where is their sense of honesty then????
A second reason could be that Indian marriages tend to be all about responsibility, and love is a rare ingredient. This again brings me back to traditional Indian values. Indians are taught not to seek individual gratification.
does "not seeking individual gratification" keep a society from progressing????
Indians consequently aren't demonstrative with their love, even within families.
indians living in india are not demonstrative with their love, cos they have not grown up seeing their other family members hugging etc.... but indians in india today are not so. (my sisters hug their children and their children are equally demonstrative), and the indians living abroad definitely are not undemonstrative. and you think not being demonstrative has taken the society backwards, and hence men seek relationships outside their marriage??? and are justified in doing so until such time the society changes????
Women in particular are conditioned into viewing marriage as nothing more than a social transaction and sex as purely instrumental, a means to having babies. One perpetual complaint of Indian men is that their wives lose interest in sex after the children arrive.
I can almost hear some of our readers groaning that love is a sublime feeling and has nothing to do with sex. Sex, the physical binding of two bodies, may not be sufficient to sustain a marriage but it is a necessary condition for marriage. And when that physical bond frays, love gradually becomes nothing more than just an obligation to support one another. The magic disappears.
OK, I know I generalize. Many philandering husbands conveniently claim their marriages are lacking in genuine love.
But all said and done, traditional Indian values may be the reason why a sizeable number of marriages fail and men turn monsters.
bon, i would honestly request you tell us which indian traditional value you are talking about here.....
marriages fail because the people involved did not give their 100% to it. when one spouse takes advantage of situations, or another takes advantage of opportunites, when one spouse contributes less into the marriage...these are reasons why marriages fail. not the society or the culture..
/QUOTE]
at the outset i must disagree with you....if the indian society had not kept pace with the changing world...the medium of television will not be portraying something that is considered both a sin and illegal!!! maybe if the viewer had a more positive attitude....they would see the illegal part of this and try and work and uproot the perpetration of the oppression of women in society in general. the cultural values do not keep any country lagging behind, nor its society backward. on the contrary, cultural values and tradition keep a history live. in addition to art and literature,lifestyles, ways of living together, value systems, traditions and beliefs, it is the distinctive spiritual, material, intellectual and emotional features of a society or a social group that binds the society and make it whole.
I'd say one such value is the notion of the sanctity of marriage. Nothing wrong with that notion; marriage is a sacred institution. Except that traditional Indian society often never allowed freedom of choice in marriage -- or in most other matters. Traditional Indian society frowns on any form of individual gratification and elevates respect for one's parents to a value greater than even religious piety. (I use the present tense as a large swathe of Indian society is still traditional in its values). Traditional Indian society puts a premium on family honour and enjoins communal consensus. Marriage is often a family decision and has nothing to do with how the individuals in question -- bride and groom -- feel about one another. This is why our poor Madhan of Anandham could not stand up to RK and profess his love for Rohini but instead found himself forced into a loveless arranged marriage with Abhirami. Hence, his continued affair with Rohini.
are you actually giving him a reason for his immoral behaviour??? should he not have gotten himself a divorce or something BEFORE he got into the affair???
besides, he had no courage to stand up to his family about his marriage, but has all the guts to sneakily have an affair huh???
poor madhan indeed!!!
(Of course, his re-marriage to Rohini has now soured because of his MCP ways but that is another matter; Indian society doesn't have a monopoly on male chauvinism. And, as I always keep saying, Indian women have had a significant role in conditioning their sons into thinking they were born to be waited upon by women. Anyway, the issue of male chauvinism has been adequately addressed in a separate thread.)
I am not condoning the practice of "second wives" that many of you claim the serials (unwittingly) glorify. But perhaps we need to understand why the phenomenon has arisen. It may not always be due to lechery and disrespect for first wives. (Incidentally, this institution of the second wife seems to be a socially accepted one, judging by the fact that Tamilnadu chief ministers themselves have practised it. And, I am told that it's not always the first wife who suffers in such polygamous marriages; it's often the second wife who suffers in silence.)
Forced marriages may be one reason why men seek gratification outside marriage, as mentioned earlier.
men seek gratification if it falls at their feet. if it is available. if they feel like it. if they think it is due to them. if an opportunity comes by...and there must many more exuses....i cant think of them all!!! but all told...get rid of the wife before you turn to anybody....what is wrong in that??? where is their sense of honesty then????
A second reason could be that Indian marriages tend to be all about responsibility, and love is a rare ingredient. This again brings me back to traditional Indian values. Indians are taught not to seek individual gratification.
does "not seeking individual gratification" keep a society from progressing????
Indians consequently aren't demonstrative with their love, even within families.
indians living in india are not demonstrative with their love, cos they have not grown up seeing their other family members hugging etc.... but indians in india today are not so. (my sisters hug their children and their children are equally demonstrative), and the indians living abroad definitely are not undemonstrative. and you think not being demonstrative has taken the society backwards, and hence men seek relationships outside their marriage??? and are justified in doing so until such time the society changes????
Women in particular are conditioned into viewing marriage as nothing more than a social transaction and sex as purely instrumental, a means to having babies. One perpetual complaint of Indian men is that their wives lose interest in sex after the children arrive.
I can almost hear some of our readers groaning that love is a sublime feeling and has nothing to do with sex. Sex, the physical binding of two bodies, may not be sufficient to sustain a marriage but it is a necessary condition for marriage. And when that physical bond frays, love gradually becomes nothing more than just an obligation to support one another. The magic disappears.
OK, I know I generalize. Many philandering husbands conveniently claim their marriages are lacking in genuine love.
But all said and done, traditional Indian values may be the reason why a sizeable number of marriages fail and men turn monsters.
bon, i would honestly request you tell us which indian traditional value you are talking about here.....
marriages fail because the people involved did not give their 100% to it. when one spouse takes advantage of situations, or another takes advantage of opportunites, when one spouse contributes less into the marriage...these are reasons why marriages fail. not the society or the culture..
/QUOTE]
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