*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 65

RAJA and Rani -2


Raja woke up in his son's room with a splitting headache and for a second was clueless as to his whereabouts and the time.With his head still sunk deep in the pillow,raja stared at the darkness of the ceiling and slowly last night came back to him.

He wondered and worried about how rani had lost her cool and then sanity told him that the going away of their only child was painful and his exasperation at the door,though just for a moment and a cliched habit of his had added fuel to her pain and which had obviously led to her outburst.

Raja knew that it was better to give her space and let her calm down before he tried talking to her.He came out clutching his head and found selvi,their cook,servant and man friday sweeping the house.She looked at him and he looked at her and she mumbled " booze seems to be a problem in everyones household."

Raja wanted to protest,but resignedly shrugged his shoulders and went to the bedroom.

He sat at the table and selvi placed a cup of coffee along with the daily papers and raja reached for it and taking a sip,let out a sigh and looked at selvi and raised the cup.She nodded sternly and went about her work.

The day being saturday,a holiday,ravi who held a position of senior vice president of a major soft company decided that he would just chill and watch tv and probably nurse a beer or two a little while later.

Selvi who was passing by,on her way to the kitchen stopped and looked at him " how is your father-in-law doing?"

Raja looked at herand then looked down and everywhere else for he was stumped for an answer " should be okay i guess."

Selvi's face softened " sir,that man is nearly 80 years old and has been living in a retirement home for the past five years.when was the last time you met him?"

Raja tried to remember " maybe a year back or a little over that."

Selvi shook her head " do you know that he is suffering from lung cancer and has very little time to live."

Raja sat up in shock " what? when did this happen? why hasn't rani told me this?"

Selvi looked at him calmly " does it matter.maybe because kutty raja was getting ready to leave abroad and maybe because the whole of last month you were busy travelling all over india and singapore."

Raja watched selvi walk away and exhaled loudly and his thoughts went to his father-in-law.

Col.shankar was your typical army man,stiff posture,deep voice that commanded and demanded total attention and who brooked no nonsense.He went about his every act and thought in a disciplined manner and expected the same from the universe.When rani had taken raja to meet him for the first time,the man had given him a look over and that single look conveyed the message that was never spoken aloud and which was " don't hurt my daughter for then i will have to hurt you."

But apart from that,he was a well read man,highly intelligent and though it had taken some time,raja had slowly warmed to col.shankar and soon saw that the man was a wise and just man and a very decent human being who thrived on morals and values,sadly which were fading and he was the one of the last of his kind.

Raja decided that he would go visit his father-in-law and told selvi that he would have a couple of slices of toast and a bullseye and hurriedly went in to bathe and get ready.

A meeting with the man meant,clean shaven,dressed in neatly pressed clothes without a single,tiny wrinkle and not a strand of hair out of place on the crown.

Okay,i can imagine what all of you must be thinking.Oru kathai eluthi,adutha kathaikku polame.edhukku rendu,moonu kathai eluthanun.

What to do people,adhu paatuku manasukkule kathainga pongi varuthu.athaan avuthu vutten.saniyanunga,ippadi avathu enna nimathiya viduvaangalannu paarpom.

Seriously,when talk about love and stories about love are touched on,invariably only young souls are involved and the love and lives of middle aged people are not breathed and spoken about.

married,work,child,school,college and then off to work and the parents stop to take a breath and in most cases that is when the cracks widen into chasms and divorces and separations happen.

That is why i kind of attempted to touch on their lives through raja and rani and i am done with that now,two more stories,crossroads and the clinic are hanging and i will write them along with redemption.

I wish you all the very best.Lots of love and luck.

Redemption 114

"Don't let the rain drive you to the wrong shelter; the shade can turn out to be your protector and also your destroyer, and sometimes the rain is the perfect protector from the rain."

Seeing his mother fast asleep,Rudran looked at Babu " How is she doing? Has the constant changing of places adding to her suffering."

" no,she doesn't notice a thing and is lost in her own space and i guess that is the place she is most comfortable in.She has me and her things which is used to and apart from that she remembers only you and Bhairav and keeps mumbling his name and asks me if he is okay and has recovered.But that aside,she is okay and physically in pretty good for her age.I take her walking,morning and evening and she stares at the sun as it rises and as it sets and is obsessed with the light of the sun and insists that her chair be always placed near the window."

Rudran gently hugged Babu " thank you so much for all that you have done and are doing for my family.I don't know how we would have managed without you."

Rudran kneeled in front of his mother and taking both her hands,softly kissed her palms.Something stirred in him,a strange unknown kind of feeling kindled deep in his mind and he thought he felt a presence in the room,but was not sure what it was and looked at Buddha,wondering if he was sensing something for he had come to rely and respect his senses and his alertness when danger was nearby.But Buddha sat with his head between his knees as if he was not interested in what was going on.

" mother,i am leaving to Delhi tonight and i should be back in a couple of days.Maybe when all this is over,we can spend time together for i feel it is time that we all lived like a family,without me being faraway from you and Babu.Renu is now a part of our family and i think you will like her very much and i am certain that she will look after as well as Babu here has been doing.Take car mum and see you soon."

Rudran was driving back to his place and looked at Buddha through the rear view mirror " i am off and i guess you must be knowing that and so for the next few days you will be staying with Renu.I hope you are comfortable with that.I will be back and then it is off to Madurai and look into what has been left alone for too long.okay."

Buddha stared at him and again strangely turned his face away and rudran smiled thinking maybe he was not happy that he was going away leaving him here with renuka.

Even from the end of his street,rudran could see the black BMW parked outside his house and knew renu was already there and then saw her sitting outside on the steps near the front door.

She smiled and rudran thought that his heart would melt in happiness and renu picked up the basket next to her
" officer,i hope you haven't had lunch for i have brought enough and more to feed a small family."

" not yet and i am glad that you are here early so we can spend some time before you drive me to the airport."

Rudran stopped outside the front door and turned to renu " please memorise these numbers for the security system as we never know when you might need the information and with the given current situation i think it is time you know all the personal passwords to my personal bank accounts and mail."

Renu nodded okay and rudran punched in the six digit number and opened the door and then closing it again repeated the process and then let renu repeat it and she did so correctly.

As she set the table she looked at rudran who was busy with his laptop " how are your mum and babu doing."

" listen,if the need arises,they can stay with me in my place.we have enough rooms and the security is pretty good and dad has asked for more highly trained men and on a six hour rotation basis.

" thanks renu,but for now i want them under my department's care for after what happened at the hospital,i am not very sure about private security services for they can be infiltrated and corrupted."

As they sat down to eat renu noticed that rudran was quieter than he usually was and wondered what was on his mind.

" is everything okay for i can sense there is a lot on your mind and if it is not anything to do with your job,maybe talking might help with what is weighing on your mind."

Rudran looked at buddha and then at renu " i am not sure what it is but i feel i have overlooked something today.Although i am trained to think and feel that way i know for sure that it has nothing to do with my job and something to do with my mother.I felt a tingle of something familiar and yet it seems to elude my grasp but i am sure it will come to me soon enough."

He looked at the food on his plate and shoving more into his mouth " wow,excellent food.I am sure your dad has the best chefs working for him and people who are better than those in a star hotel."

Renu put her spoon down with a bang and rudran looked up wondering what had happened.

" sir,for your kind information,the food was entirely prepared by my mother and not some hired cook."

Rudran smilingly " wow,now that is one worry which is out of the way for now i know my wife will inherit some decent skills from my mother-in-law."

Renu looked at him seriously " is this some kind of proposal that you are making."

" of course not and i think we have crossed that line long ago.Now marriage is just the next step and that too just a legal one for i feel you are a part of me and mean much more than the official tag of a wife."

Renuka was lost for words " when,how soon?"

Rudran smiled " soon.Just let me get all these things sorted out and then we will think of making some kutty renuka's."

Later she stood next to him wiping the plates as he washed them and handed it over one by one and was lost in the movements his hands and fingers made as they rinsed the plates and spoons.

" It is nearly four pm and my flight is at nine .I should be there by eight and it will take us at least one hour to reach the airport so what do we do with the next three hours.Any suggestions."

Renu " of course i have lot of suggestions.For instance i have been wanting to go to higginbothams to pick up a few books and then i need to stop over at shoppers stop to pick up a few clothes."

Seeing rudran's smile,renu took the cloth she had used to wipe the plates and spoons and gently wiped the few beads of sweat that shimmered like diamonds on his forehead and kissed his lips.

" maybe after all my suggestions we can stop somewhere for a cup of coffee if it is okay with you and if you have enough time."

Rudran gently cupped up her face " okay,but can you spare a few minutes before we leave for i have some business to take care off."

Renu pouted sadly " just a few minutes."

Rudran thoughtfully " maybe more than a few minutes.maybe a couple of hours."

They made love slowly,tenderly as if they did not want to let even one moment go past them without fully savoring it.

But one part of rudran's brain was working overtime for he knew he had sensed something and it kept slipping out of his grasp before he could understand what it was.

The afternoon soon slipped into twilight and soon light gave way to dark and darkness descended all over the land and darker forces which had lain in hiding readied themselves for the coming fight.

Buddha lifted his head and growled at the darkness that had fallen outside their home and knew tonight was the night when as always light met dark and the dance of death would begin again.

But then a sense whispered to him and he knew what it was and his eyes flickered briefly in a burst of green.

Hello,out of range and out of answers


Phone calls in the early hours of dawn,phone calls from family members always fill me with dread,fear and panic attacks.Early hour calls usually mean an emergency and the few that i have had the misfortune to attend have invariably been that of death,passing away of another soul.Family members calling me is okay and then again i am stuck for words and i go " hm,oh oh,i see,okay,good,all the best."

Phone call from my younger brother sanjay,third in the original four and second in the remaining three is the meat between me and sunil who is the youngest and the less spoken and written about him the better.But if you do want me to write about him then one word,just one word will describe his status and that is ALCOHOLIC.

Sanjay too is treading thin ice when it comes the word ALCOHOLIC and goes on binges that last anywhere between three to five days.Sober,then back to the comfort of the bottle.So,if he calls late in the evening or even later when i am just getting ready to fall asleep,i panic for one simple reason and that is i have no answers for his pain or answers for the questions he poses about why life is so damn screwed up and messed up.

Midnight or early dawn calls that scare me have a tale,a root from where this fear sprouted and that is waking up hearing the banging of the doors and standing there watching police constables informing my elders that my dad is dead and that he died due to an accident.Well,only a few months earlier navin had passed away due to cancer and on a lighter side i knew and heard the word cancer even at that age and did not learn it from watching a mani ratnam film about which vivek jokes in the film DHOOL.

Sanjay was just a year and a few months old and surely does not remember much about his father and so there is a vaccum there in his soul and sadly the other part of his soul is filled with darkness and pain.

Empty,dark,pain well how better to describe my younger brother's state and how do i answer his questions and long silences of his sometimes drunken state.I guess he has nothing else to drown his sorrow in,nothing else to bury the pain he suffers and turns to the only person that is related by blood and worse,memories.

I have given up quotes,philosophy and spiritual lessons and instead told him that i agree that life is a bad trip and worse when the boat springs a leak and you start to sink and drown.

But i told him that the only thing one can do is to fight,fight hard and die fighting for that is at least a dignified way to go.

Sink,float or swim against the flow of life's current.It is tough.It surely is disappointing and it surely is an uphill climb but you are fighting and you are alive,motivated and have a purpose.

In the end that is all that matters.So,i told him,latch on to my arms and i will swim for you as long as i can.


Life is like a flowing river and it flows in many states.
Life is like a river and it has many depths at different times
Like the river,life is sometimes quiet and shallow and lets you walk through it
But like the river,life is sometimes a raging,flooded beast and drags you under
Like in the raging river,in life it is better to swim and go along quietly with the flow
Rather than tire,drown by fighting against it.
When being dragged,carried by a raging river,float on your back and whisper thanks
for all the love,all the good souls who showered love and think about those who
are yelling from the shores " fight,swim and don't give up"

Woe+ man = woman


Sea,ocean,river,lake,pond,stream
everything is water and a womans realm
woman you say and i nod and say Aye
and you shake your head and say nay
Aye,Nay,yes and no are the words of a woman
who blows hot and blows cold
yet she takes it on the chin and in her soul
and trudges through the trenches bold,alone and no one to hold

she is water,fluid and formless
she is ice,cold,hard frozen in many shapes
child,girl,woman,lady,wife and mother
she is the mother to your father

she flows,she ebbs through the tides of life
and she makes her life in a man's world

man who gives her so many woes
man who comes after the wo