*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 83

WHY INDIAN STUDENTS ARE DISLIKED ABROAD

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student by name Chandrasekhar entered the fourth grade.
...

The teacher said, "Let us begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death.'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar who had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775.", he said.

"Very good", said the teacher, "Who said, 'Government of the people, by the people and for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar, who said,
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Students, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country knows about our history more than you do."

She heard a loud whisper,
"F_ _ _ the Indians."

"Who said that?", demanded the teacher.

Chandrasekhar put his hand up and said,
"General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student at the back shouted,
"I'm gonna puke".

The teacher glared around and asked,
"Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandrasekhar said,
"George H.W. Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister in 1991."

Now, with almost mob hysteria, someone said,
"You little shit, if you say anything else, I am going to kill you."

Chandrasekhar frantically yelled at the top of his voice,
"Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him in 2004."

Now, the teacher fainted and collapsed on the floor. And, as the students gathered around her, someone said,
"Oh shit. We are screwed."

And, Chandrasekhar said quietly,
"I think it was Lehman Brothers on September 15th, 2008."

Trying to discover how good of a job my wife and I are doing at home schooling, I decided to quiz my 8 year-old daughter.

I first asked her, "Who is the President of the United States?"
"Barack Obama" she replied immediately.

"O.K., good job." I said. "Who is our Vice President?"
"Joe Biden" She said with confidence.

Proud of how smart she was I decided to test her with a more difficult one, "Who is the Speaker of the House?"
After several seconds of deep thought, she said with excitement, "Mommy!"

Miss Amy Zilch created a bit of a stir at one of the stores in the Scranton Mall when she literally took directions from the sales clerk to "Strip down facing me." Fortunately, she didn't get all the way down to her birthday suit before he convinced her that he was referring to her credit card.

Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr. Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will.

"I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation."

"And that is?"

"In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death."

The lawyer seemed puzzled. "Why make such an unusual request?"

Mr. Sams answered, "Because I want someone to be sorry I died."

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath
and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
again!"

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning.

It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the
beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at
St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn
and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'ye lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the
foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father,
replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people
took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment...

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are
also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist" Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things" replied the artist.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

The Dying Preacher

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom.

As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.

They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too.

HINDI SONGS I AM LISTENING TO

Holiday - Aaj Dil Shayarana
Lekar Hum Deewana Dil-Beqasoor
] Kick - Tu Hi Tu
Ek Villain - Hamdard
Ek Villain - Banjaara
Hate Story 2-Aaj Phir
Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhaniya-Samjhawan
Citylights - Muskurane (Unplugged)
2 States - Chaandaniya
Citylights - Ek Charraiya
Entertainment - Nahin Woh Saamne
Fugly - Dhuaan
Hasee Toh Phasee-Manchala
Lekar Hum Deewana Dil - Maaloom
Life Is Beautiful -Kya Sunaoon
Raja Natwarlal-Tere Hoke Rehengay

Three dead bodies of politicians from India turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The medical examiner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.

"He was an opposition party leader, 65 years of age, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the medical examiner.

The Detective Inspector is taken to the second dead man.

"He was a minister from the ruling party, was 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Nothing unusual here", thinks the Inspector, and asks to be shown the last body.

"Ah," says the medical examiner. "This is the most unusual one. MP from Bihar, 60, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

To which the medical officer replies, "He thought he was having his picture taken."