*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 19

well huge forehead and i hope something is inside it.well maybe my hair covered up my bald spots and now all is revealed.age is slowly but surely catching up or has it caught up already.

The Zen Master says to the hot dog vendor, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor hands him one with everything. The Zen Master hands him a $20 bill and the hot dog vendor pockets it.

"What about my change?" asked the Zen Master.

The hot dog vendor says, "Change comes only from within."

A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads:

"The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now--Before It's Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"

From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say "Bridge Out?"

A few fraternity brothers needed to fill a science requirement in order to graduate, so they spent weeks studying for the final. The day of the exam arrived and they were more than ready for the test. The teacher pulled out a chart, and on it were different pictures of bird's legs. The teacher said, "This is your exam. Name these birds by their legs."

After ten minutes one boy stood up, absolutely furious, and slammed the paper down on the teachers desk. "Dammit!" he hollered. "You knew I needed to pass this exam to graduate. How could you do this to me?"

The guy begins to leave the room and the teacher yells at him, "Hey you, boy, what's your name?" The student pulls up his pants, revealing his legs, and says, "I don't know sir. You tell me."

I ordered a Club Sandwich and a Sprite in a restaurant somewhere. When I finished half of the sandwich I sipped a sprite... But it didn't taste like an ordinary sprite I used to drink. So I sipped once more, but it still tasted the same. It tasted like a sprite mixed with some kind of oil.

I called the clerk and asked him if the sprite was expired... He said it was just delivered today.. So I asked him to taste it. Then he also found that something was wrong with it.

Both of us were wondering for a while. Then I got to look inside the straw. There were a lot of tiny black round things that looked like eggs. So I cut the middle of the straw lengthwise to have a better look... Yuck. There were a lot of tiny black round things in it... I suppose they were eggs of cockroach. About 1000 eggs were there. Then I began to check all the other straws in the straws case one by one. Almost all of them contained black eggs that seemed to be either the cockroach eggs or excretions...

After the incident I began to check all the straws in the restaurants and fast food chains that I had gone to. Almost of all the straws contained the same black eggs. Especially the darker the colors of straws, the more black eggs were found. In black straws, extreme amount of black eggs were found. It was found out that it's because the cockroaches live (hatch eggs and excrete) in the dark places.

* 80% or more restaurants in the malls use red or black colored straws.

SO NEXT TIME... BE CAUTIOUS... CHECK THE STRAW BEFORE YOU PLACE IT INSIDE THE DRINKS.

quotes to go on with life


"One of the deep secrets of life is that all that is really worth doing is what we do for others." (Lewis Carroll)

"Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher." (Japanese proverb)

"As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do." (Andrew Carnegie)

"A man is known by the silence he keeps." (Oliver Herford)

"If you win, say nothing. If you lose, say less." (Paul Brown)

"You never find yourself until you face the truth." (Pearl Bailey)

"The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for." (Fyodor Dostoevsky)

"The world today doesn't make sense. Why should I paint pictures that do?." (Picasso)

"Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go, but rather, learning to start over." (Nicole Sobon)

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

The husband says "WHAT??"

The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.

He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them.

Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each.

And then they go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out-but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."

The husband stops and says, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

The wife's face goes blank.

"No, honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile."

The look on Her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the Husband says, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

New way of Stealing


This is a new one. People sure stay busy trying to cheat us, don't they?




SCENE 1.

A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny, I thought I locked the locker..


Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.

Everything looked okay - all cards were in place...

A few weeks later his credit card bill came -a whooping bill of $14,000!

He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make
the transactions.

Customer care personnel verified thatthere was no Mistake in the system and asked

if his card had been stolen.. No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep -

you guessed it - a switch had been made.An expired similar credit card from

the same bank was in the wallet. The thief broke into his locker at the gym

and switched cards.


Verdict: The credit card issuer said sincehe did not report the card missing earlier,

he would have to pay the amount owed to them.

How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy?

$9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped?

Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell'with some credit card companies.

It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!

A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.
The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the
credit card along.
Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.
He called the waitress and she looked perplexed. She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to
the counter under the watchful eye of the man.
All the waitress did while walking to the counterwas wave the wrong expired card to the counter
cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.
No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology..

Verdict:

Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.
Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken
away for even a short period of time. Many people just take back the credit card without
even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.

The following incident took place at Sri Ramanashram, Tiruvannamalai somedecades ago.

It was a Mahasivaratri day. The devotees dined along with the Bhagawan.Then they all assembled in the main hall and the Maharishi was reclining onthe bed in his usual pose and poise. It was 8 in the night.

A devotee got up, paid obeisance to the Bhagawan and requested him:" Bhagawan , today is an auspicious day, MahaSivaratri. We all will begrateful if Bhagawan could explain to us the meaning of Dakshinamurthy
sthothram."

Bhagawan replied " yes, I shall. Please sit down. "

All sat down. Bhagawan did not speak anything. He was silent. All those assembled there were looking at Bhagawan. Bhagawan was looking at them, Grace oozing out of his eyes.

There was total silence. No one moved; nothing moved except time.

The clock struck nine... Still Bhagawan was silent. Stillness everywhere.

Time moved forward. The clock struck ten, eleven, twelve., one, two,three.

It was all silence, total and complete. All the assembled devotees and the Bhagawan were looking at each other.

No one even whispered.They were all transported to a Divine world of bliss. Many felt something moving up their spines! It was Bliss all over.

And the clock struck four. Maharishi got up. It took them a minute to realize this small movement and they too got up.

Maharishi said : " Now, you all know the meaning of Dakshinamurthy sthothram " and he walked away.

Ramana Maharshi as a young kid portrayed as Shankaracharya- Dakshinamurthi Rupa

This incident was narrated by sri T.K.Sundaresa Iyer, an ardent devotee of Bhagawan Ramana Maharishi.

Indeed, silence is eloquent.