*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 100

5...4...3...2...1...

"With all it's sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world." - Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"

Grandfather blues

I Started Seeing Another Woman...

A little while ago I started seeing another woman. Actually, it was my wife's idea.
"You know you love her" she told me one day, out of the blue.
"Life's short, you should give her more of your time."
"But I love you, dear." I replied.
"I know, but you love her too..." she said.
This other woman my wife wanted me to see was my mother.
She has been a widow for a few years now, and because of work and my kids, I didn't get to see her very often.
I called my mother that night and asked her to join me for a movie and some dinner.
"Did something happen? Is anything wrong?" she asked.

You see, my mother belongs to the generation that thinks that any phone call after 7pm can only mean bad news...
"I just wanted to invite you for dinner and a movie, just the two of us. What do you think?"
After a few second, my mother simply said: "I'd like that..."
I drove over the next evening after work to pick her up; it was a Friday night, and I had a feeling I haven't had in a long time - the kind of nervousness you get before a first date.
When I got there, I saw that my mother was also excited and nervous.
She was waiting outside, wearing her beautiful old coat, her hair all done up and had the dress she wore for her and dad's last anniversary on.
Her face was lit up with the smile of an angel.
"I told my girlfriends I'm going on a date with my son tonight and they were very excited for me!" She told me when she got in the car.
The restaurant we went to was not the most fancy, but the staff was incredibly friendly.
My mother held my arm and looked like the first lady!
We sat down, and she asked me to read her the menu ("My eyes are not what they used to be" she said). Half way through, I looked up and saw she was staring at me with a nostalgic smile on her face.
"When you were a child, I was the one who read you the menu."
"The allow me to return the favor, mom" I said.

We had a lovely conversation, not about anything in particular, just sharing what's going on in our lives and eventually we spoke so much that the conversation just trailed off...
"I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me pay next time!" my mother said.
When I dropped her at her house, I felt genuinely sorry to see her leave.
I hugged and kissed her and told her how much I loved her.
When I came home later that night, my wife asked how the date went.
"It was wonderful, thank you for suggesting it!"
I looked at my wife and added "Much better than I could ever imagine".

A few days later, my dear mother passed away from a heart-attack.
It was very quick and there was nothing anyone could do.
A short time afterwards, I got a letter from the restaurant we went to that last time.
The letter read:


"I'm quite sure that I won't be able to make it to our next date, so you and your wife can enjoy each other's company like I did with you. I paid for your next meal here in full and I want you to know just how much that night meant to me!
I love you,
Mother"

At that moment, I understood just how important it is that we let our loved ones know that we love them, and make sure we make time for them - we don't know how long we'll have them in our lives.
Nothing is more important in this life than family!

If your mother is still alive - appreciate her.
If she isn't - remember her.

First Visit

Due to a job transfer, Brian moved from his hometown to New York City. Being that he had a very complicated health history, he brought along all of his medical paperwork and sent it to the doctor's office.

Then came time for his first check up with his new doctor. After browsing through the extensive medical history, the Doctor stared at Brian for a few moments and said, " Well there's one thing I can say for certain, you sure look better in person than you do on paper!"

Beware of the following viruses...

Isnebola,

usnebola,

kyunbola,

kaisebola,

kahanbola,

kab-bola,

tubola,

wobola

mein-nai-bola,

yebola,

are more dangerous than Ebola...

6 Ways to Become a Wiser Person

Intelligence is something, say some, we are born with.

On the other hand, wisdom, far more useful, is definitely something one can accumulate over a lifetime. Many search for ways to become wise, but few feel they have really achieved it. The Berlin Wisdom Project of the late 80s defined wisdom as:
- Spiritual knowledge
- Factual knowledge
- Excellent judgment
- Excellent problem solving skills
- Ability to learn from past experience
- Humility, emotional strength or ability to recover from defeat
- Openness and maturity - allowing another to see you as you really are
- A deeper understanding of human nature, including empathy for others and other cultures

However, if you don't think you embody all these qualities, there are SIX other ways to become wiser in the human experience:

1. Being Social

Research has shown that people who keep more contact with other people display higher levels of wisdom than those who remain more secluded. Some think this may be due to new people constantly giving us new ideas to think about, new information, new experiences, and this enriches the mind and gives us more wisdom. So make an effort, if not for others than for yourself. Stay in touch with old friends, go take a course, and stay in contact with those around you, it's the wise thing to do.

2. Open mindedness

Wisdom is the ability to understanding all aspects of a problem, without surrendering to personal feelings. The meaning of an open mind is to find true empathy and to understand that everyone has a life story that affects them in some way, and it is not our place to judge. A good habit is to write down, every day, what ails you. At the end of the day, take a look at that list and try to get a new perspective on each problem, you'll be surprised what things will come to mind.

3. "I could be mistaken"

A smart person understands that it is impossible to know everything, and that life always throws you a curve when you least expect it. Acknowledging our mistakes may, and often does, lead to greater wisdom. Remember, your ability to be wrong shouldn't damage your reputation as a wise man, but should increase it, because wise people know how to take responsibility for their mistakes. Nietzsche is quoted to have said: "Wisdom sets limits on knowledge, too.". Acknowledge the limits of your knowledge and admit when you are wrong.

4. Experiencing new things

While we each have our own personal tastes in books, music, art or just what is good cinema, it is important to note that getting familiar with styles unknown will broaden your horizons and introduce new world views, new ideas and new outlooks on life. So put down the novel you're reading and try a science fiction story, a history book or just a great romance. Whatever it is you almost never read, now is the time to add some real experience in things you haven't really touched on. So try something new, or learn a new skill - it won't just make you wiser, it'll also keep you young!

5. Self awareness

Many will say they have rich life experience, but when was the last time you really stopped to think of all you've learned throughout life?

Try this exercise: Write down your three biggest failures and your three biggest successes. Next to each of them write some of the events that lead to it and the lessons you learned. Look for patterns, without pride or regret, simple patterns to teach you about how you used each experience to drive you forward. After all, knowing yourself is the biggest challenge of all.

6. Know what goes on around you

Yes, the news is often dramatic, misrepresented or just depressing. But it's hard to make balanced decisions for yourself and others if you don't learn from the mistakes that happen to others and to on larger scales, to your city, country and world. Keep updated, read a newspaper, watch the news or just read a news site online from time to time. Read the articles, not just headlines, and understand how you fit into this bigger world, and where you stand. This is crucial for true wisdom.

The most surprising things about America, according to an Indian international student


Aniruddh Chaturvedi came from Mumbai to Carnegie Melon University in Pittsburgh, Penn., where he is majoring in computer science. This past summer he interned at a tech company in Silicon Valley.

During two years in the US, Chaturvedi has been surprised by various aspects of society, as he explained last year in a post on Quora.

Chaturvedi offered his latest thoughts on America in an email to Business Insider.

The most surprising things about America:

- Nobody talks about grades here.

- Everyone is highly private about their accomplishments and failures. Someone's performance in any field is their performance alone. This is different compared to India where people flaunt their riches and share their accomplishments with everybody else.

- The retail experience is nowhere near as fun/nice as it is in India. Because labor is cheap in India, there is always someone who will act as a "personal shopper" to assist you with holding your clothes, giving suggestions, etc. In America, on the other hand, even if you go to a Nordstrom or Bloomingdales, there is almost nobody to help you out while you're shopping. Shopping in America is more of a commodity/chore than it is a pleasurable activity

- This may be biased/wrong because I was an intern, but at least in the tech world, nobody wants to put you under the bus for something that you didn't do correctly or didn't understand how to do. People will sit with you patiently till you get it. If you aren't able to finish something within the stipulated deadline, a person on your team would graciously offer to take it off your plate.

- The same applies to school. Before I came to the United States, I heard stories about how students at Johns Hopkins were so competitive with each other that they used to tear important pages from books in the library just so other students didn't have access to it. In reality, I experienced the complete opposite. Students were highly collaborative, formed study groups, and studied/did assignments till everyone in the group "got it". I think the reason for this is that the classes are/material is so hard that it makes sense to work collaboratively to the point that students learn from each other.

- Strong ethics " everyone has a lot of integrity. If someone cannot submit their completed assignment in time, they will turn in the assignment incomplete rather than asking for answers at the last minute. People take pride in their hard work and usually do not cheat. This is different from students from India and China as well as back home in India, where everyone collaborates to the extent that it can be categorized as cheating.

- Rich people are thin/well maintained, poor people are fat. This stems from the fact that cheap food is fatty, rich people don't eat cheap food " they tend to eat either home-cooked food which is expensive or eat at expensive/healthy places. Unfortunately, it is expensive to be healthy in America.

- Fat people are not respected much in society. Being fat often has the same connotations as being irresponsible towards your body. If you're thin (and tall, but not as much), people will respect you a lot more and treat you better. You will also receive better customer service if you're well maintained. This extends my previous point which mentioned that if you're thin, you're statistically likely to be rich. Reason why I know this is that I went down from being 210lbs to 148-150lbs. The way people started treating me when I was thin was generally way better than the way I was treated when I was fat. As a small example, the Starbucks baristas were much nicer to me and made me drinks with more care/love.

- Girls are not very promiscuous, contrary to most Hollywood films

- Almost every single person in America has access to basic food, clothing, water and sanitation. I haven't been to states like Louisiana and cities like Detroit, but from what I can tell, nobody is scrambling for the basic necessities required for sustenance.

- Dearth of African Americans in technical fields. This probably stems from the fact that they aren't given enough opportunity, broken families, etc. I'm pretty sure you can extend upon this if you'd like.

- It's expensive to have brick houses in America, contrary to India where brick houses are the norm

- Emphasis on physical fitness/being outdoorsy " this is more of a California thing but I noticed families going on biking trips, boat trips, hiking, camping, barbecuing, etc. Americans take pride in the natural beauty of their surroundings and tend to make the most of it

- Americans waste a lot of food. It is very easy to buy in bulk because it's so much cheaper and as a result a lot of wastage occurs.

Obsession with coffee " Starbucks, Dunkin' etc is crowded with office-goers and students every morning. I don't understand why they can't drink or make coffee before leaving for work. Such a waste of money! ($5/day * 5days/week *52 weeks/year)!

- Split families, not having married parents, etc., is not seen differently than the contrary.

- Support towards the LGBT community " it's fairly normal to be part of the LGBT community; it's not considered a mortal sin if you like someone in your own gender or if you aren't comfortable being male/female/etc. Proof of this is the LGBT Pride Day held in every city etc.

- Smoking weed is seen the same as smoking cigarettes.

And, here are some more things he found surprising about America, excerpted from his post last summer on Quora :

The way that stores price their products makes no apparent economic sense, and is not linear at all.

For example, at a typical store:

- 1 can of coke : $1.00 - 12 cans of coke : $3.00 - 1 Haagen-Dazs ice cream bar : $3.00 - 12 Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars : $7.00

The return policy on almost everything: None of my friends back in India believed me when I told them that you can literally buy anything, including food, and return it within ninety days for a full refund even if you don't have a specific reason for doing so (most stores actually have a "Buyer's Remorse" category under Reason for Return options while returning the product).

The pervasiveness of fast food and the sheer variety of products available: The typical supermarket has at least a hundred varieties of frozen pizza, 50 brands of trail mix, etc. I was just astounded by the different kinds of products available even at small gas station convenience stores.

Soda being cheaper than bottled water: It makes no sense that carbonated and flavored water with HFCS are cheaper than regular water, but hey, that's just how it is.

The fact that there are full service rest stops with decent chain restaurants and big supermarkets every couple of miles on interstate highways

Fruit and vegetable prices, as compared to fast food prices:

- Bag of grapes : $6.00 - Box of strawberries : $5.00 - 1 lb tomatoes : $3.00 - McChicken : $1.00 - [McDouble] : $1.00

Unlimited soda refills:

The first time (and one of the last times...) I visited McDonalds in 2007, the cashier gave me an empty cup when I ordered soda. The concept of virtually unlimited soda refills was alien to me, and I thought there was a catch to it, but apparently not.

Slightly digressing, I've noticed that the typical fountain machine has a huge selection, including Pepsi, Pepsi Max, Sprite, Sprite Zero, Hi-C, Powerade, Lemonade, Raspberry Lemonade (and/or their coca-cola counterparts)... The list goes on. This may not seem like much, but it is actually a lot more compared to the 3-4 options (coca-cola, sprite, fanta, limca) that most Indian soda fountain machines have.

Serving Sizes: American serving sizes are HUGE! I've noticed that entree sizes are huge as well. I am by no means a small eater, but it usually takes me at least 1.5 meals to finish the entree.

US Flag displayed everywhere: I was surprised to see that the US flag is displayed in schools, on rooftops of houses, etc. India has very strict rules governing the display and use of the national flag. Also, something that struck out to me was how it was completely normal to wear the US flag or a US flag-like pattern as a bikini.

Over-commercialization of festivals: I'm not denying that festivals like Diwali and Eid aren't extremely commercialized in India, but America takes it to a whole new level. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, etc., and an almost year-round sale of Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc. items.

An almost-classless society: I've noticed that most Americans roughly have the same standard of living. Everybody has access to ample food, everybody shops at the same supermarkets, malls, stores, etc. I've seen plumbers, construction workers and janitors driving their own sedans, which was quite difficult for me to digest at first since I came from a country where construction workers and plumbers lived hand to mouth.

Also, (almost) all sections of society are roughly equal. You'll see service professionals owning iPhones, etc. as well. This may be wrong but part of it has to do with the fact that obtaining credit in this country is extremely easy. Anybody can buy anything, for the most part, except for something like a Maserati, obviously. As a result, most monetary possessions aren't really status symbols. I believe that the only status symbol in America is your job, and possibly your educational qualifications.

I wish you all and your families a very very happy Diwali.Live your lives as if every day is a Diwali day,in celebration and in joy that we are loved and that we can love.Every year on Diwali and other festival days,people ask me if i bought new clothes,sweets etc.

I shake my head and say no but that i am peeling of a layer of the old clothes that clothe my soul and ignorance and that i want to live or at least attempt to live as if every day is a festival day and is the first day and the last day of my life.But that is humbly and truly your weirdly me and i expect some to understand and don't expect or want others to understand.

Starting from Muhurtham forum in 2006 to 2014 this will be the 9th year of celebration and i guess a few of you who are still here will be here for a few more years of celebration.

I love you all and wish more peace and prosperity to you and to your families.Be well.


I am sorry that i have not added any new chapters to the story but i promise i will sit down and try to write some,soon.

Wish you and your family a very, very Happy Diwali, Satish!!