**From & To Satish **( New Pictures Pl see pg 163) - Page 18

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satish_2025 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
Four Catholic men and a Sardar were having coffee.
and this is how the conversation goes.....

The first Catholic man tells his friends, 'My son is a priest.
When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father' '..

The second Catholic man chirps, 'My son is a bishop. When
he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace''.

The third Catholic gent says, 'My son is a cardinal. When
he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence' '.

The fourth Catholic man chirps, 'My son is the Pope. When
he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness''.

Since the Sardar was sipping his coffee in
silence, the four men give him a subtle, 'Well...?'
And he replies, 'I have a daughter. She is slim, pretty, tall and 36-24-36.
When she walks into a room, people say, ......."OH GOD!!

satish_2025 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years.
One
day he decided to plant potatoes in his garden, but he was alone and too old and weak to do the work.
His son was in college in
Paris, so the old man sent him an e-mail explaining his wishes:

"My dear son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden.
I am sure, if you were here you would have helped me to make up the garden for me.
with love - your father."

The following day, the old man received an e-mail from his son:
"My dear father, please don't do anything in the garden, because I have hidden 'the THING.' there only.
I love you, too - Ahmed."


At
4pm the FBI and the Rangers visited the house of the old man and took the whole garden apart, searching every inch.
But they couldn't find anything.

Disappointed, they left the house.

The next day, the old man received
another e-mail from his son:
"My dear father, I hope the garden is dug up and now you can plant your potatoes.
That is all I could do for you from here. Your loving son, Ahmed."
satish_2025 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago

Tamil Jokes:***

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Come - palakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady. ....PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamani Rangarajan.

*** Bengali Jokes:***

An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee.

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu.

Bengali who works?
A work of fiction.

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu.

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding

A mad Bengali?
In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha.

A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli


****Malayalee Jokes:****

What do you call an amazing Malayalee?
Pheno Menon.

What do you call a dashing Malayalee?
Debo Nair.

Why did the Malayalee cross the road?
To join the trade union on the other side

A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this? The Sardar didn't know proper English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning becomes tight"
LESSONS FROM IIM
-

A Professor at one of the IIM's

was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and say: "I am very rich.

"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a

gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and

pointing at you says: "He's very rich.

"Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and get her telephone number. The next day, you

call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.

"Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up

and straighten your tie, you

walk up to her and pour

her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,

pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and

then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you

"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks

up to you and says:"You are very rich!

"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you

a nice hard slap on your face. -

"That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.. You go up to

her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she

introduces you to her husband. -

"That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a

party. You go up to

her and before you say anything, another person come

and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she

goes with him -

"That's competition eating into your market share"

9.. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your

wife arrives. -

"That's restriction for entering new markets"

10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and say: "I was very rich.

"But what to do now??? Ma'am I'm sorry I cannot marry U, wish u good luck for your future!" - That's Financial slowdown (Recession)




srima thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
Thanks satish for making my day light & happy. 🤣
satish_2025 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
hi srima,
well with that post you made my day better.
satish
migan thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
Hi Satish - Thanks for the wonderful/funny jokes. I felt light after reading them. I really enjoy seeing your acting from Anandham to Kalyanam and also one more serial in the morning I forgot the name. I will keep looking for you on other serials as well in Sun.
satish_2025 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago

IMPACT OF JOB-CHANGE
------------------------

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
question. The driver screamed, lost
control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and
stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said:
"Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap
would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my
first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead
bodies for the last 25 years!!

One for the older generation
----------------------------


A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking
her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the
bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about
to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious
leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the
leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him
heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something
must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the
beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the
dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another
leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with oldies ........

.Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!

Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

spain thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
The world's out to....
When I got out of bed
and stubbed my toe,
that was the moment
I started to know,

The world's out to get me.
My toast was burnt,
my eggs were nuked,
When I sipped my coffee,
I almost puked.

I got stuck in traffic,
had to go to the loo,
and I felt like I was coming
down with the flu.

The world's out to get me.
I caught a big earful
from my grouchy old boss,
Then I ruined my sweater
with spaghetti sauce.

The world's out to get me.
I schlepped to the park
when my work day was done,
I felt like I weighed
an entire metric ton.

An old lady on a bench
said "Sit with me, dear.
There's plenty of room
for two of us here."

"The world's out to get me,"
I said with a sigh.
"My life's a big mess,
and I don't know why."
"Ah," she answered,
"I can tell from your voice
that it's time for you
to make life's biggest choice.

"I'm just an old lady
but there's one thing I know:
You have to spread love
wherever you go.

"You see,
everyone's scared,
everyone is alone,
and everyone's hurting
right down to the bone.

"Love is the medicine
that all of us need,
but it's in short supply,
very short, indeed.

"Do you know why that is?"
she put her hand on my sleeve,
"Because you first have to give
if you want to receive.

"Take time to listen,
take time to cry,
take time to love them,
give it a try.

"You'll soon discover
you can help people heal,
they'll be drawn to you, dear,
like a magnet to steel.

"Unhappy folks still haven't
learned this truth yet,
that God wants you to give,
before you can get."

As I rose from the bench
and kissed her frail hand,
I said "I think I finally
understand."

The world's out to love me,
I say every day,
'cause my life has changed
in a wonderful way.

I feed souls
starved for kindness,
and genuine love.
I pass it along
from the Source up above.

We're each a pure note
in God's heavenly song,
The world's out to love you...
Pssst: Pass it along.
jagdu thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
From: The Hindu Master weaves


Authentic craft Get the collection at Bimba
Bimba The Art Hut showcases some exclusive vegetable-dyed handloom-woven stoles, dupattas, saris and fabrics in the Oruna tradition from Orissa. The fabrics have rustic motifs of temples, implements like axes, sickles, and arrows, and animals and bir ds.

Goberdhan Panikka, a master weaver from Koraput district in Orissa, uses just two vegetable colours against the textured and treated off-white background, weaving in age-old motifs and his imagination. He learned the process of making yarn and vegetable dyeing of the Kotapad tradition under the strict and watchful eye of his guru, his grandfather. With help from his wife Jema and some women, he prepares the vegetable dye from the bark of the aal tree to get red and dark brown. The yarn is treated to 15 hand washes after a specific oil application and addition of cow dung. Bimba The Art Hut is at 256, 5th main, near 36th cross, parallel to Nanda Talkies/ Rose Garden Road, Jayanagar. Call 41489354.

What was actually sent to them:
The world calls Goberdhan Panikka a weaver, master weaver - or a master craftsman at best.
At Bimba , we believe he is an artist who soaks in the depth of his inheritance of an artistic weaving practise.
Goberdhan hails from Koraput district in Orissa. His ancestral tradition is surely as natural - and ethnic
in the true sense - as you can get in the art of weaving fabric into life . Goberdhan aprrenticed under the
strict and watchful eye of his guru - his grandpa - in the entire process of yarnmaking to vegetable dyeing to
weaving the ancestrally appropriate stylised motifs of the Kotpad tradition.
He begins this traditional art of handwoven creations with cotton yarn , typically
handwoven, but now with the khadi yarn available from a government mill nearby in offwhite colors.
His wife Jema and a community of women prepare the vegetable dye from the bark of the
" aal " tree in just two rich colours of red and dark brown. The yarn is treated through fourteen to fifteen
handwashes after a specific oil application and addition of cowdung. When he declares it ready to absorb the
natural vegetable dye,it is boiled three to four times in a clay vat containing one of the two colours of vegetable dyes .
The naturally treated offwhite, rich deep red , and the textured dark brown yarns are now ready for Goberdhans
handwoven magic which distinguishes it from the oruna traditional craft of the panikka tribe.
Goberdhans loom is by itself a technical wonder which is ingenious in its conception. He can carry this combination
of bamboo and local wood and thread and jute coir rope ( he sometimes innovates with plastic rope that is easily available )
anywhere in a telescopic wrap . His spindle is a wonder for many students of the handloom for the way it carries the yarn .
His work station is earth itself - he needs about a 7 feet by 5 feet space in which he digs a hole for his feet to rest
in comfortably and then sets about his weaving.
The motifs he uses are chosen from the classic symbolism that his grandfather - and his grandfathers ancestors - would weave from
their repertoire . The most intricately woven fabric shawl or chunni or an elaborate or a simple saree or a " do patta'
to suit a daily or a ceremonial occassion. , would include the following elements. Elements we call the alphabets and grammar of the
new textile poem he hand weaves from his imagination:
1. A beautiful temple in red or dark brown or the combination on the two borders
2. Variations of a simple plus sign woven into a panel on the pallu of the saree/ dupatta/ stole.
3. The interspersed motifs he handweaves on the loom include stylised representations of implements like axes, sickles , arrows , animals and birds
and / or daily chores such as fishermen in a canoe, the honey gatherers , and such imagery drawn from simple rustic dwelling.
So what is the art about this seemingly repetitiuve craft . Goberdhan Panikka is a rare and precious " resource" . With just the
two vegetable colors and the textured and treated offwhite and the inheritted motiffing elements we just described , each piece
is aestheticall , skillfully and innovatively woven by him from his own imagination - not even pre designed leave alone
based on repeating what his grandfatrher did. Goberdhan lives the belief that with these seemingly limited elements
he can weave millions of permutations and combinations each more beautiful than the other. And declares with justified pride that the
yarn may tear but his rich dyes , that too red , will not bleed - something that the most advanced mechanised vegetable dyeing
processes would love to replicate.
Deepika Dorai discovered his artistry more than a decade ago even before she founded Bimba The Art Hut. And treasures the fact that
since then he has been decorated by the Prime Minister and the President of India for his mastery .
An exclusive exhibition with the spotlight on him- his process and some of his works - while he sat outside in his pitloom weaving aduppata which took him
Some of his recent experiments in the vegetable dyed handloom woven Oruna tradition - stoles , dopattas , sarees and limited fabric - are always available where Goberdhan sometimes halts with his loom to weave some magic. He avers that he finds such a nurturing environment- where he
is not requested to experiment with " imported" color schemes such as indigo and turmeric and urbanised " etnic " motifs or is beaten down by comparitive pricing
- hard to come by.
srima thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
Thanks Jagdu for this very useful msg.

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