Rajbir - 4

Kabir pushed one foot after another, trying to reach home. He hasn't slept, hadn't eaten and didn't have Nishu with him. He had spent the night in his academy, wishing beyond wish that his wifey was there with him, even if she didn't have any usual, great advice. Her presence alone would brighten up the darkest sky. "I love you, my angel", said Kabir, aloud. He wouldn't have left the academy till Nishu came home if it weren't for his duties at the Gangwal shop.

He reached his home at last and pushed the door out of his way. He stopped right there. Viraj was pacing in the room, talking animatedly with someone on the phone. "Kabir Kumar.. Yes, yes, Kabir not Lakir.. My brother.. Yes, he is my brother. No, he is not a Rathore.. Missing since last night.. Photo? Yes, I'll just look around and.. ", Viraj said, his eyes darting around the room and landing on Kabir. A look of extreme relief came on his face and he hurriedly said in the phone," Call off the search. He has come home. Yes. Please convey my thanks to the Commissioner.. I will personally call him later". Kabir watched dazedly as Viraj stood in front of him, staring at him for sometime.

Viraj, then, slapped Kabir which shocked him to his senses. "Where were you?", shouted Viraj," I was searching for you on the streets, in pubs, losing my mind with worry. Why did you leave from your own home?". Kabir heard the words but couldn't make out their meaning. He felt too slow, unable to comprend anything.

"I have to go to work. My family needs me", said Kabir, his words slurring. "You are right", nodded Viraj," none more than me. I will send Mansukh in your place". Viraj held up a hand to stop Kabir's protests. "Go to sleep. Before that, call Nisha. She must have called twenty times by now".

Kabir rushed to pick up his phone and then groaned. There was a huge list of missed calls. Nisha, Papa, Maa, Dadaji, Cousins, Saurav, Ropan Taiji and.. Kabir strained to see if he had that name correct.. Viraj. Kabir held onto the table for strength and called Nishu. She must have been very worried to persuade even Ropan Taiji into calling him.

Nishu picked up on the first ring."Kabir, you complete idiot! Why aren't you answering your phone?". Just hearing his wifey's voice, though angry, touched Kabir like nothing had since yesterday. "Kabir, Kabir? Are you alright? Kabir? Say something!". Kabir hastened to reassure her. "I am fi- fine". It was next to impossible to lie to Nishu. "What's wrong, Kabir? You are scaring me". "Fine. Just tired". Nisha was silent for a heartbeat. "I am coming home in the earliest possible flight". "What? No! Nishu, everything's okay here. Come with Mumma next week". He heard Viraj's sharp intake of breath but ignored it.

"Kabir", started Nisha, argumentatively. "Please Nishu, for me", pleaded Kabir. There was a long pause. "Okay", relented Nisha, reluctantly," on the condition that you will pick up my every call". "Agreed". "You will take care of yourself". "Yes". "I love you". Kabir smiled as he replied,"Not more than me". "Ha", said Nisha, a little relieved on getting this usual reply from her hubby. Kabir placed the phone down, feeling more alone than ever.

"Go to sleep", repeated Viraj," I have informed the Gangwals for you. Speak to Nisha's parents later. They were very worried for you". "I don't want to sleep", said Kabir, speaking to his angel had given him a little courage. "What are you doing here?", asked Kabir, confused. Viraj hesitated and then spoke from his heart. "Kabir, please forgive me. I am really sorry for hurting you". Kabir felt a lump in his throat. "Don't apologize for the truth".

Viraj placed his hands on Kabir's shoulders. "Please, Kabir. It wasn't the truth. It was a bitter man talking. Nothing was your fault. You are not my substitute or replacement. It doesn't matter who came first. Everyone loves you, including me. You are my brother. The words I spoke were of a jealous man. Kabir, please forgive your brother".

Kabir looked down. "No, Mr. Rathore. It is not your fault. I kept Mumma away from you. If I had never come to India, you and.. you and Nishu would be..".Kabir couldn't complete that thought.

"Kabir", said Viraj, angrily. "Look in my eyes. Kabir". Kabir braced himself for the hatred in Viraj's eyes. He saw only concern. And something else he didn't want to figure out. He was keeping himself together with a lot of effort. He didn't want to assume anything anymore.

"Mr. Rathore", said Kabir, his voice shaking. "Big Bro", corrected Viraj. KAbir wanted to believe what Viraj was telling him but he was scared too. He didn't want the pain from a false hope.

Viraj read his eyes. "Sit, I'll cook something for us". " You didn't eat anything last night?", asked Kabir, surprised. "No, I was searching for my younger brother", replied Viraj, trying to control his temper," Where were you?". "At the dance academy. Sorry, I worried you". "Apology accepted if you promise you will never, ever run away again". Kabir nodded.

"I did go to the Dance Academy. It looked empty from outside". "Yeah", said Kabir, running a hand through his hair," I just sat there and.. came back". Kabir didn't know what else to say. Viraj placed a delicious looking omelette in front of him and sat down to eat himself.

They ate in silence for a while. "Kabir, what did Mother tell you about her past?", asked Viraj, hesitantly. Kabir held nothing back from him. He even told Viraj what his Dad had told him a long time ago. "Mumma lived only so that her son was not without a mother - no matter how far she was. She joined the office where my Dad worked to fend for herself. Dad fell in love with Mumma and slowly, so did she. They were soulmates". Kabir paused, wary of Viraj's reaction but proud of his Dad and unwillingly to hide the pure love of his parents. Viraj slowly nodded, indicating that Kabir could tell him anything.

Kabir took a deep breath. "Later on, both decided to take a transfer to Dubai. Mumma was relieved that she would no longer be a threat to you. Even if she wanted in a moment of weakness, she wouldn't be able to reach you. Dad was happy to go anywhere with Mumma. After some years, I was born", Kabir said guilty. Viraj frowned. "When I was nine years old, I discovered that Mumma would spend some time alone every night, crying over a picture. My Dad explained to me then that my Mumma had a bad marriage in the past but a beautiful son who she couldn't meet. So, I must not disturb when she spent time with my brother".

Viraj quickly wiped his tears. "Your Dad was okay with mother remembering me?". Kabir gave a dry chuckle. "My Dad wanted Mumma to fight for your custody. However, Mumma said that your Dad loved you more than her and that you would always remain happier with him".

"If that was the case, why did you come to India to find me?", asked Viraj, curiously. Kabir kept his face blank. "I wanted to see Mumma smile like I had always dreamt of. So, I came here at the first opportunity I got. And..". "And?". "I wanted be with my elder brother. Mumma and Dad both said he was the best brother in the world".

"I proved them wrong, didn't I, Kabir?", said Viraj, pain evident in his voice. "After all, I said and did.. Pushing you against the wall, catching your collar, shouting, making you run from your own house, making you feel unwanted,trying to snatch Nisha from your life, the cold way I have behaved with you throughout.. Worst brother ever?". "No", said Kabir, firmly," You have suffered a lot. It's all my fault".

Viraj couldn't believe the kind of monster he had turned into. He could see the extent of damage he had caused in the lifeless eyes of his brother. The usual twinkle was replaced by a weight that threatened to crush him and Viraj felt as if someone was stabbing him within. Viraj held Kabir's eyes and said," Now, listen carefully. None of anything is your fault. My father pushed my mother away. From him and me".

Hard as it was Viraj accepted the truth. He remembered that his father had never blamed his mother, even in his most drunk condition. His Bua had made him believe that his mother was responsible for everything, Viraj thought with hatred.

"If you had never come to India, I would never come to know that there are th-three people who love me so much - My mother, brother and his Dad. As for Nisha, I am sure that we would have been caught in a loveless marriage like mother and father. Nisha never loved me Kabir. There is no question of me being first in her heart. I was never in her heart. It was always you. You have saved Nishu and me from a painful future. Like your Dad saved your - our Mother".

Kabir felt his guilt vanish on hearing Viraj's words and seeing the truth in his eyes. He felt lighter somehow. He hadn't been a cause of torment for his elder brother.

"Thanks for the delicious food, Mr. Rathore". Kabir knew that he could never cross the distance between his brother and him. They were too different to be brothers in the real sense. Whether his fault or not, he had hurt Viraj a lot.

"Kabir, the reason I never gave up on Sabu's search even after everyone had was because I wanted you to meet the brother you loved so much. I wanted your brother to know how much his Kabir loved him and how lucky he was to have a brother like you. Now that you have found your brother, won't you give him a chance to be the brother you wanted? The best brother in the world? Can't you please give me one chance?", said Viraj, his voice breaking.

Kabir stood up in horror, realising how much he had hurt Viraj. "Big Bro, you were always the brother I wanted. I still want. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please forgive me". Kabir knealt down in front of him, his hands tugging his earlobes. His face curved into a smile. His big bro loved him. More than any real brother in the world.

Viraj pulled Kabir into an embrace. "Don't ever disappear again. I can't explain to you how worried I was. The thought of losing you. Of you being harmed. You are the best son any mother can have. The best brother in the world". Kabir pulled out from the hug. "I ran away leaving Mom alone, lied to her, married without informing her. You would have never done that". Viraj's mouth twitched," Well, it's true that you are not the typical , goody goody, obedient son. As you believe I am. That also means that I would have never found you had our places been reversed. When I think of all the difficulties you must have bore to bring a smile on M- Mumma's face - Still the best son". "Both of us. Mumma's best sons".Kabir smiled at his elder brother, his heart totally at peace.

"You searched for me in pubs?". Viraj looked at Kabir sheepishly. "Don't take it the wrong way. I know you don't drink. It's just that I had ran out of ideas of where you could be". Kabir chuckled as he thought of the serious and brooding Viraj Singh Rathore entering flashy pubs. Viraj looked puzzled. "What's funny?". "Nothing, Big Bro", said Kabir, mischief in his voice,"Didn't any bouncer try to stop you?". "As a matter of fact, one did try". "Try?". "Yes", said Viraj, matter of factly,"He found himself on the ground a few feet away from the entrance. No one gets in the way of Kabir's elder brother".

Kabir knew in that moment that no-one on earth was luckier than him.