NiBir SS- Love, Obsession and Crime (Chapter 8 on Page 41, complete) - Page 4

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Sarthak0302 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#31
Very nice , fresh and interesting concept.👏
I am eagerly waiting for the updates of the story.
oh_nakhrewaali thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: Sarthak0302

Very nice , fresh and interesting concept.👏

I am eagerly waiting for the updates of the story.


Thanks Sarthak😃
oh_nakhrewaali thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#33

Hey NiBirians, here is the Chaptr 1 of the SS. Hope you like it.😊

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Everyone on the road was crowded around an injured girl. An accident had taken place and the girl needed medical attendance, but no one was ready to take her to the hospital.

He was in his luxurious car, talking on the phone.

He- Don't worry Mom, I'll be fine, Mumbai pehli baar thodhi naa aaya hoon...

Mom- But akele pehli baar gaye ho...Hume aapki bahut fiqar ho rahi hai Jojo...

He- (annoyed) Can you please stop calling me that mom? It's (opening the window and let fresh breeze in) Kabir Singh Rathore...Kabir, you get that... Mrs. Vasundhara?

Vasundhara- Ok Mr. KABIR SINGH RATHORE, I have meetings to attend, unlike you...so bye, and take care baccha... Love you...

Kabir- Love you too Mom...

Vasundhara sighed and cut the call. She turned to her husband.

Arjun- He'll be fine...Stop worrying, please...Don't forget, uske decisions jab galat honge, tab woh khud unhe sahi karega...

Vasundhara- I hope so...

Arjun- Now serve me tea...I am getting late...

Vasundhara- (murmuring to herself) jaisa baap, waisa beta...

Kabir plunged in his earphones and started listening to songs, when the car halted.

Kabir- Kya hua driver uncle?

Driver- Kabir baba, pata nahi bahut bheed hai...Main jaa kar dekhta hoon..

Kabir- Aap rukiye, main hi dekhta hoon...

He got down from the car, and the young girls, who were a part of that crowd, started checking him out.

"He's so hot", "Kasha yeh mera bf hota", "Gosh, I want to know his name" He smirked as he heard them mumble. He pushed his way towards the accident spot and a girl was sitting on the road, near her scooty, holding her injured hand...She wasn't wailing for help though, infact, she was firing the person who hit her. Her back was facing him. Surprised at her loudness, he said.

Kabir- Hey, you need any help?

She turned and the world stopped for Kabir. Dressed in blue jeans and white t-shirt, she looked as innocent as a baby, as beautiful as an angel and yet was strong enough to handle the situation.

She looked at him, her eyes softer now.

She- Umm...woh...nahi main thikh hoon...

Kabir lifted the bike for her. The driver of the car looked at them in guilt.

Kabir- Show khatam ho gaya guys, back to your work.

The crowd dispersed. Their entertainment, free of cost was over.

Kabir- I think you should get your hand treated.

Girl- Nahi, uski zaroort nahi hai, I stay close by, chali jaaungi main...

She dialed a number.

Girl- hello Sauro, mera accident ho gaya yaar, S.V. Road pe... jaldi aayioyo, we need to take this khatara to the mechanic... Papa ko bilkul mat bataana, thikh hai? aur Dolly ka jacket leke aa...My hand is injured, bandage chipaane mein kaam aayega...See you...

Kabir smiled at her attempts to hide about accident.

Girl- (to him) Aap jaa sakte hai... mera dost bas aa hi raha hoga...

She bent down to pick her bag, but before she could reach it, Kabir picked it up and handed it to her. Closing the zip of the bag she mumbled.

Girl- gaadiyon mein ghumkar khud ko Ambaani samjahte hai...Gadhe! Chalani nahi aati, toh bech do naa.. Jo paise milenge, unhe kisi charity mein dedo...punya kamaoge..

Kabir couldn't stop admiring her. She looked so cute. Hold on! Main raste pe khade rehkar ek ladki ko admire kar raha hoon? He face palmed mentally and his reverie was broken when a guy, around his age came to them

Guy- Kya yaar, phirse? That's the third time in this week.. Aur haat dikha.. (he looked at the injury) major nahi hai... Pehle doctor ke paas jaate hai, aur phir mechanic ke paas, thikh hai?

The girl nodded and the two thanked him and went away, with Sauro riding the bike...Kabir smiled and turned, but his eyes fell on the ground. It was a college ID-Card. He knew it belonged to the girl, because of the photograph on it. Her details were on it, and her name was Nisha Gangwal.

*Gangwal Mansion*

Applying kohl in her eyes, she was humming a song.

Meri baaton mein tera zikr sadaa
Meri yaad mein teri fikr sadaa
Main jo bhi hoon tum hi to ho
Mujhe tum se mili apni adaa

Kyunki tum hi ho, ab tum hi ho
Zindagi ab tum hi ho..
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

Tum hi ho, tum hi ho
Arz bhi, mera marz bhi
Chain bhi, mera dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

She heard her name being called out from downstairs by her Maa. She ran downstairs, and smiled to see her mother mumble to herself, while her father tried to relax her.

Ramesh- Laxmi, relax me!
Laxmi- Kya relax me? Tumhari laadli abhi tak nahi aayi hai...iss ladki ko naa... pata nahi kab sudhregi...Navya, call kiya tha kya usne? Bazaar se sabzi lane gayi thi yaa tayyar karne?

Navya- Chill Ma, Saurav ka phone aaya tha, Dolly sabzi leke aati hogi, woh Nishu ko uska project complete karna hai, kal submission hai...

Laxmi- (banging the knife on the chopping board) Wah! Kal submission hai, aur madam subah 10 baje uth kar basket ball khel rahi thi.. (Pointing the knife to Ramesh) yeh sab tumhari galti hai...itna laad-pyar karke bigaad diya hai naa tumne usse...

Navya- (pouring water in a glass and handing the glass to her) Maa, yeh lo, pehle paani piyo, aur relax karo yaar... Saurav ne aadha project kiya tha, bas kuch changes baaki the...Aap naa, ainvayi hyper hote ho...Accha woh sab chodo, yeh batao ki aaj khaane mein Aloo Mattar khaoge?

Ramesh- (thanking God that she changed the topic) Tu banayegi, toh pakka waala haan...

Navya- Toh Maa, aap yeh churi mujhe do, aur bacchon ke papers correct karo, jaao...

She literally pushed her out of the kitchen.

Ramesh- Thanks bacha...

Navya smiled at her father and went in the kitchen to cook Aloo Mattar. Here Nisha was thinking of that guy who helped her, while Saurav was tending to her wound.

Kaun tha woh? Usse dekh kar itni bechaini kyun? Kyun man kar raha hai ki usse waapas milu? Aisa pehle kabhi nahi hua... Do I like him... Oh Shut up Nisha! Tu aur pyaar? Impossible!

Nisha- (in pain) Aah!

Saurav- Kya Aah! Kuch nahi kiya maine jo tu chilla rahi hai... Dhakkan!

Nisha- Accha, toh pinch kisne kiya mere haat ko?

Saurav- Aur kya karta? Kabse kuch puch raha hoon, aur tu apne duniya mein mast hai...Idiot!

Nisha-(lying) Woh kuch nahi..uss Bandar ke baare mein soch rahi thi jisne gaadi thokh di...Aur compensation bhi nahi diya... Mann toh uska murder karne ka kar raha tha...

Saurav- Shaant meri maa... Aur haan, Dolly ko tere ghar sabzi leke bhej diya hai aur Navya se kaha hai ki tu shaam tak ghar nahi jaa rahi, so abhi aaraam kar... main bahar hi hoon...

He walked out of the room, while Nisha covered herslef with the quilt and lied down, thinking of that stranger.

Kabir walked in the new branch of his Passion Dance Academy, looking at the interiors of the rehearsal hall. He looked in the mirror and imagined Nisha.

Oh God! Kya ho raha hai mujhe... Nisha ke baare mein itna kyun soch raha hoon main? Paagal kar diya hai uss ladki ne mujhe...

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to face the peon.

Peon- Sir, aapka phone...

Kabir nodded and looked at the Caller-ID. He smiled and received the call.

Kabir- Hey Dolls! Kaisi hai tu, aur Saurav kaisa hai? (not getting any reply) Dolly, you there?

Dolly- Finally! Tumne mera asli naam liya...Next time if you don't pronounce my name properly Mr. Singh Rathore, I am going to crucify you...

Kabir-Chill Dolly... Waise, I am in Mumbai...

Dolly- (shocked) WHAT? Tu Mumbai mein hai aur mujhe bataya bhi nahi...Not done.. I want to meet you...

Kabir- Aaj nahi yaar, too tired, Kal milte hai, humara usual place? 3 o'clock?

Dolly- main Saurav ko bhi saath laati hoon...He'll be so excited to meet you..

Kabir- Ok, toh main tumhe baad mein call karta hoon... I am at the academy...

Dolly-Yaa..bye...

Both hanged the call. Kabir then went home and fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. At 4 in the evening, he woke up.

Kabir- OMG! It's four... Itni der tak kaise so gaya main? I am so hungry...

He went downstairs and the maid smiled at him.

Maid- Khaana laga doon?

Kabir- apne uthaya kyun nahi?

Aid- main jaanti thi aap bahut tired ho, isiliye nahi uthaya...

He smiled at her and went to his room to unpack. He remembered that his mobile was in the car, so he went to the car. He found his phone on the back seat and the ID-card. He smiled as he stared at her picture.

After having his lunch, he dialed the number on the ID-Card.

Navya was busy completing her book when she heard the mobile ringtone. She searched for her own mobile, but it wasn't ringing. Then she found Nisha's on the bed, which she had forgotten at home, so received it, because it was an unknown number.

Navya- Hello?

Kabir-Umm...Hi, Main Kabir Singh Rathore...hum subah S.V. Road pe mile the?

Navya felt butterflies in her tummy when she heard the voice. She knew he was talking about Nisha, but it wasn't wrong to talk on behalf of Nisha to him, was it?

Navya- Hi! Mujhe yaad hai, hum mile the...

Kabir- Tumhara haat kaisa hai?

Navya-(confused) haat? (now realizing why Nisha wasn't at home) Oh its fine!

Kabir- Tumhara ID-Card mere paas hai..It fell from you bag...

Navya-(lying) Oh shit! Aur main ghar-bhar dhoond rhai thi...

Kabir- Relax, umm...kal 3 o'clock mujhe Caf Sunrise mein milna...

Navya- Ok cool..

Kabir- Umm...I hate to say this, but meri phone ki battery dead hone waali hai...see you later tomorrow then?

Navya- Yeah! Bye...

Kabir hanged the call and Navya stared at Nisha and her photo on the wall. She hated lying, because she rarely lied, but she wanted to meet this Kabir, whose voice had done a weird magic on her. But hold on! Main usse pehchanugi kaise? Usse toh Nisha mili thi...

She remembered his name and searched for him on Facebook. Looking at his photo, she instantly started liking him.

Navya- Sorry Nishu, but humare twins hone ka koi toh reason hoga naa?

mishrialways thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 9 years ago
#34
Nice update
kabir loves nisha
and both nisha and navya both like him
seems navya will misuse the fact of she being twins with nisha
Aha121 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#35
Nice update
Twins hone ka phayda 😭
Both like him
Thx for pm
Update soon
Sarthak0302 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#36
I will try to review it in a detailed manner coz I know you desperately want it to be reviewed🤣.
The start was very nice , actually I am a bit confused because the way u started character sketch alag se dene ki jarurat nahi thi...because story progressed beautifully describing the traits of each character very well.
The story progressed in a good speed without losing its charm so its a big big positive.
Nibir thoughts were described well.
Also loved the ramesh - laxmi and navya scene.
Update ended on a very interesting note so eagerly excited for the next part.
Continue soon
.vishrutha. thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#37
Interesting chapter!
The way you brought out the differences in nisha and navya's personality through their entry scene and their interaction with saurav and RL respectively was really nice!
Waiting for the next chapter, please continue soon...
Thanks for pm 😊
anuska1203 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#38
Ye kya I hate navya.😡
Nishu...🥺
anu012 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#39
superb chptr shibu
loved it
both nisha or navya like kabir or kabir like nisha ... hope so not create mu b/w nibir
update soon

thnks for pm
Posted: 9 years ago
#40
awesome update...
nibir met..
SV road ?? 🤣
main road me accident hogya ? 😲
both nisha n kabir like each other...
saurav wahi saurav h jiski dolly baat kar ri h ye kabiraa nahi janta!! na twin sister ka jhol 😆
nisha is as usual ladaku types..
Navya garelu plus filmy lag rai hai 🤣
twins ka faida uthegi 😃
masaledar story hone wali h boss 😉
continue soon...
Edited by RoshniVdian786 - 9 years ago

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