*A Tale of Two Brothers*by Aditi & Jhanvi *Stopped* - Page 11

Originally posted by: 123heart

Omg!!! Just loved it!!!! Pls continue soon pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls!!!

Originally posted by: Ekstase

Hello guys 😉

I was planning to comment yesterday but couldn't due to the restrictions of posts (lol, I overdid it, apparently 😆) - so, my review is coming a little late.

First chapters are mostly the difficult ones, at least for me. It's hard to find a good introduction that will have the readers hooked - I liked you intro to the story a lot. We got introduced to the main characters, got a look into their lives, their goals and what was driving them forward.

Vasundhara and Kabir - aww, they were really sweet together 😳 Though, you have me curious about what she found in that chest, what had been in that diary which, as I assume, drove her away from her family and made her keep Kabir away from his family, as well. Whatever it was, it must have been terrible for her to even leave Viraj behind and it's still haunting her and apparently it marked her deeply. I got that from how she seems over-protective of Kabir. As he mentions himself, she never lets him be too far away from her, always keeping him close and yet, refuses to talk about the past, about their family. Kabir, on the other hand, loves him mom a lot, it's obvious and understandable. Though, he does feel that there's something amiss with their little family, I guess in a way he longs for a father and maybe other family members that could make them complete. But right now, he harbours a lot of anger toward his father (I assume?) because he can't bear so see his mother in so much pain even after all these years.

Though, he wants to change his scholarship with his friend's, did I get that right? 😆 His mother won't be too happy once she finds out. But it just shows how desperate Kabir is to know everything that he's even willing to risk his own dreams for it.

Nisha - I liked how you portrayed her with Saurav! They share a beautiful friendship, Saurav being very supportive and encouraging, trying to help Nisha move forward in her life. And it's good that he got her to join LA, it will do her good, though she's obviously still trying to find her path in life. She will find it, I'm sure about that 😉

Btw, a bit off-topic but: I haven't watched some episodes of NAUC in between due to personal issues so I was wondering... I know that Nisha took up shooting and Viraj was her mentor in LA. So, is LA like a sports' academy? Like any normal academy except that the focus here is on different kinds of sports? And Viraj being the boss... like a chairman?

Anyway, Viraj and Arjun - another cute moment The bond between father and son is really strong which is only logical because after Vasundhara left, Arjun had to raise Viraj and he did a splendid job at it! And he seems overly-worried for his son, always checking if he's alright- it's really sweet. Viraj... he still misses his mom, huh? He probably has no idea why she left (I doubt Arjun has?) and might feel hurt and even angry at his mother for leaving- which child wouldn't? But even with this hole in their lives, father and son are doing alright- and Viraj is finding back to his path, his shooting.

I liked the link between the two cake-scenes, by the way! In London, Vasundhara keeps up the tradition and in India, Arjun 👏 And the last part with Shyam Singh - nice. Show that the Rathores are good people if Shyam sees them as his second family!

Now, I'm curious how Nisha and Kabir will meet - and of course, the first encounter between the brothers 😳

Well done, nicely written, a beautiful introduction to the story with little deatils and hint thrown in here and there that breathed more life into everything! Keep up the good work, guys 😉

Originally posted by: Nuha09

It was just AMAZING!!!!
It is getting interesting day by day...
Continue soon and thanks for the PM...

Originally posted by: shailusri1983

I was pretty late commenting on the first chapter. I think I must have missed it. Please do

PMme the next time you update.

I'll begin with what I felt on reading the part. The entire scope of this ff is panoramic. A number of characters, the conflict between their past and present, the nostalgia, their search for their roots, and of families torn apart by circumstances, everything was encompassed within a single chapter.

Vasundhara's past continues to pursue her even in the present. She finds it unable to escape from those painful memories. Her opening that chest and finding something terrible reminds me of the Pandora's box. So I think all problems began with the unlocking of that old chest and Vasundhara finding that old diary. Were the memories recorded in that diary so powerful enough that they rock the boat of her happy married life? A lot of suspense has been created I must say.

Vasundhara hates her father-in-law. But why still needs to be unraveled.

Kabir seems to be giving up the opportunity of a lifetime for an impossible or impractical quest. But he is almost driven to it because his present will not make a sense to him if he doesn't uncover his roots.

Viraj and his father still continue the traditions which Vasundhara began when she was with them. They get the cake baked with the same flavors as Vasundhara used to add on every memorable occasion. Both of them are not ready to let go of the past even though it is no more relevant to their present. Looks like they are caught in a time warp.

Nisha and her dreams to achieve something in life look comparatively simple in this complex set up of conflicting dreams and wishes. What Nisha's role is between all these complex individuals remains to be seen. The stage has been set. There are a lot of gaps in between but it makes for a very interesting reading full of thrill and suspense.

You have also introduced the character of Shyam Singh, the old family retainer and a second foster father to Viraj.

Chapter 2 - Crossroads Part A

Kabir felt guilty at having cheated his mother. Well, he hadn't exactly cheated, had he? He had only made her believe the wrong things. Trying to console himself such, he entered the university campus. Among the crowds and the old, weather washed buildings, he felt home. A slight pang forced him to realize that he would miss this. This place and the people it housed had embraced him when he needed answers. They couldn't provide answers, but they had given him a platform to think. To figure out what he was looking for. Kabir wondered again if he was doing the right thing...

Never having rebelled against his mother, he was in a fix. It felt odd to not tell her the truth, to not lie, but hide some facts from her. 'No Kabir, you have to do it this time. After all, this is for mum as well, isn't it? You have to have faith. And the time is right now. Why else would everything align itself perfectly? The universe seems to be urging me on...' When he still did not feel very calm, Kabir realized that he couldn't convince himself. 'How can it be so easy to advice others, when it is so easy to believe it yourself?'

Lost in thoughts, he hadn't realized that he had reached the classroom where he had promised to meet Mike. When Mike saw Kabir walking slowly, unaware of his surroundings, he knew Kabir was brooding about something. Worried for Kabir, Mike wondered if he didn't get into any college for an internship. Gathering his thoughts, he started consoling Kabir immediately after greeting him.

"Don't worry bro, it will be all right! I know you really wanted this research opportunity and you wanted to work under your favorite professors, but it's not the end is it? You will have many more chances and you can..." Mike went on, while Kabir was suddenly baffled. 'What is Mike going on about? It will be all right and this is not the end -- Oh!'

Understanding what Mike had misunderstood, Kabir started to calm a slightly hysterical Mike. Chucking, he told Mike about the letter from Ecole Polytechnique. After Mike came over his bewilderment, he thumped Kabir on his back and poured forth many congratulations. Feeling relieved, Mike went back to being ecstatic with his internship offer. Ecole Polytechnique was his dream college too, and Kabir had got in, if he had not! That was almost as good for him. But this ecstasy was short lived. It came crashing down as soon as Kabir told him of his plans.

Kabir went on to tell Mike how he had called up Ecole Polytechnique and citing family issues, how he had forfeited his position. When he had displayed innocent curiosity, they had told him that his position would now be open to the next candidate in the list, a Mr. Mike Whitman. Kabir thanked them, euphoric. The receptionist who had entertained Kabir was certainly at a loss to understand how someone could be so happy when they were being told of another person's success.

Kabir had then thought of the details. On no account whatsoever, was Mike to know that Kabir was not going to study. Mike had always supported Vasundhara when it came to curiosity. His pet dialogue, "Curiosity killed the cat," irritated Kabir no end. So he decided that Mike wouldn't know the complete truth either. Which meant - Mike couldn't come to India. He requested Mike to take up his position in Ecole Polytechnique and forfeit the IISc one, saying he, Kabir could go to India instead. Kabir promised Mike that he had found some 3 - month course in another University, IIT Delhi, which was almost as good as the one in IISc. He told Mike that he was going to attend this course and Mike could go to France, fulfilling Kabir's dream. All of which was a complete lie. Kabir had not found out anything about alternative courses in India. Guilt seeped in through every pore in his body, but convincing his conscience that it would all contribute to the greater good, Kabir persevered to convince Mike.

Mike was confused. Kabir was known to be very insistent when he wanted something. Mike could understand that Kabir wanted to go to India. What bothered him was why was Kabir forcing him to take up the Ecole internship? When Mike voiced his concerns, Kabir insisted vehemently that both of them were separate issues. He repeated that he really loved Mike, who was more than a brother and wanted the best for him. Mike finally gave in. Who could stop the whirlwind, when it made up its mind? Well, Kabir was no better than a whirlwind...

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Kabir now felt better. Ignoring his pressing guilt was the only was the only option now. Vasundhara would never forgive him for sacrificing his dreams. She had always made him believe that more than people, his dreams and his efforts to achieve them would shape his life. He always sensed bitterness when she said that, which heightened his resolve now. Kabir finally pushed aside the depressing thoughts and got to work. There was so much to do! The Visa, the travelling, tickets, provision of his stay, money and...And the photograph... The photograph was his only link to his past. How I wish the photograph had a person's face or anything that can help me connect it with a physical place and era...

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Vasundhara could not contain her happiness. Her son was soon going to go to the best colleges in the whole of Europe, with a scholarship! In her present scenario, she was slightly glad about the scholarship. Vasundhara could see the movie of her life, and like always, it stopped on that cursed day.

*flashback*

Arjun and Vasundhara argued amicably. Both had really strong personalities and neither would be subdued. Vasundhara was firm. She didn't want to host that party. Viraj's success didn't need to be announced for the whole world. Very few people would be happy. The others and their jealous thoughts... her family was better off without them. Arjun was just as firm. He wanted the grandest celebration for his son. He teased her again. "Are you just scared that you'll not be the prettiest woman there Vasu?"

Vasundhara stiffened on hearing that. Stiffly, she said, "As if I care about such petty and inconsequential things. Arjun you should know better." But her voice belied the hurt she felt. She thought of herself as the less pretty one amongst her sisters. It was her one rare weakness that only Arjun knew about. His, and his opinion alone, mattered to her now and here he was - hurting her on the tenderest spot. Arjun could see these thoughts in her eyes, all clear as daylight. It was one of the things he loved about her - her eyes never lied.

He knew he had hit her below the belt. She fought fair; she would never reciprocate to such an attack. Yet Arjun had done it. Because he knew that when he would make it up to her, she would be the happiest angel on the earth. His mind lingering on the last time they had fought this way. The passion was ignited. And he would make it extra special this time. he was thinking he wanted a second child now... Already planning to get her favorite Mogra flowers, he picked up his coat and held Vasundhara from behind. Her soft and supple form aggravated his desire for the making up. Oh when would this wretched day end already?!

Vasundhara turned away from her husband as soon as he looked into her eyes. He would read her eyes and know. And then he would tell her that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. That she had a very beautiful heart. Vasundhara knew all that. No one who knew her would guess that she cared about outward appearances. But she was a princess after all...A princess who had extremely beautiful sisters. Who was brought up with the belief that beauty was a woman's biggest asset. And Arjun helped her overcome this belief. He would say something that would make her happy again. Suddenly she felt his arms around her. A slight smile touched her lips when she felt him kiss the top of her head. But then, all of a sudden the hands left her. After waiting a moment for Arjun to hold her again, she turned, only to see him leaving the room. He said nothing? Trying to shake away the gloom that was descending on her, Vasundhara got to work. The store room needs to be cleaned today...

*flashback ends*

Pulling herself out of the memories, Vasundhara picked up her phone. She could not longer put off this phone call. The euphoria and the bittersweet memories had left a sweet taste in her thoughts, which was wiped out completely with the prospect of calling this man. What would she not do to have him fall in the deepest pit in Hades?

***************

Vikram was listening to Gayatri blabber about some hospital that Arjun had generously donated to. He was invited to the inaugural function of some wing of the same hospital as well. As Gayatri continued her nonsensical talk with his most abhorred phrase "Oh My My", he couldn't help but compare her with Vasundhara. Vasundhara was far more a princess than her daughter. She was beautiful, very brave, had an unbreakable spirit and was very intelligent. Well, not intelligent enough to trick him, he smirked internally. That was not for the want of trying, though. She had constantly rebelled and had to be subdued with threats that were executed brutally, until she backed off.

The last stunt that he had pulled with Viraj had been particularly successful. She hadn't troubled him since then... Just when he thought this, his phone rang. It was her.

"Just the woman Vasundhara! I was just thinking of you!" Vikram spoke in a drawl. His voice was unnaturally cold at all times, given he had never uttered words of love to anyone. When Vasundhara chose to ignore this, Vikram said, "To what do I owe this pleasure?" "Kabir has been selected by a university in France for internship. He will leave in 5 days for France." Vasundhara came to the point quickly. "And you think I will let him?" Vikram felt his anger rise slightly. He could not lose his temper over such a small issue. Calming himself, he made his voice colder, "I rule your lives Vasundhara. How could you even think I'll -- " For the first time in her life, Vikram was cut off mid sentence.

"Mr. Rathor, you think I will listen to you this time? No, your threats will not work anymore. You want me to stay away from my family? You want to keep all that is mine? Fine. I've let you do it for the past 22 years. But no more." Vasundhara could now see red. She would not back off.

"Darling you probably do not see that I could finish all your life before you can comment. And I do not play fair." The coldness in Vikram's voice seemed to cross the 6700 kilometers lying between them. Vasundhara instinctively shivered before she could answer.

"Mr. Rathor, I am sending Kabir to France. Not India. You want us to stay away from them and we are doing just that. You have black mailed me with enough threats now. If after sacrificing so much for the happiness of my family, we do not get what we want...It will be disastrous for you. Yes, you can harm me. But this time, if I have to go down, I will pull you along with me."

It was Vikram's turn to be surprised with her firmness. He could hear the strain breaking through her composure. She had endured all that he put her through with it losing faith in herself. This time, it looked as though she would not take anything kindly. And Vikram couldn't see any harm in allowing Kabir to accept the internship. It is in Europe anyway. Some decisions are necessary to appease her as well. She will not create any more trouble for me for a few days...

"Well, I think I can give you a small little satisfaction this time. So how much money do you need?" Vikram put all his contempt in a single question.

Vasundhara gave him a haughty reply, "Nothing. Kabir has a full scholarship. The rest I will manage." Vikram was left astounded. This woman...she was a worthy opponent, he would give her that.

"You should have been on my side Ms. Vasundhara Rawat. You could do well as my daughter. Such a self sufficient woman." Vikram mocked her as best as he could.

"It's Mrs. Vasundhara Arjun Singh Rathor. I never divorced him Mr. Rathor. And be your daughter, and help you in your dirty works? Never." She had finality in her tone. Before Vikram could respond with another insult or a taunt, Vasundhara hanged up.

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Chapter 2 - Cross roads Part B

"You should have been on my side Ms. Vasundhara Rawat. You could do well as my daughter. Such a self sufficient woman."

Gayatri felt fright, disgust and helplessness creeping in. She looked at her father's face as he indirectly taunted her. He was lost in the conversation. Like he was dealing with an equal. Gayatri turned away, fuming.

'Damn this woman! After being captive for 22 years, she can still make father give in to her? What is she made of? Jealousy then filled her mind as she thought of Vasundhara. She hated it when her father compared her with the pompous princess.' Making a face, Gayatri thought, 'She can never beat me when it comes to beauty though.' The smirk returned to grace her lips and she fiddled with her hair, smoothening them and patting them. 'And anyway, if she was so good and deserving, why did her kismet snatch away everything from her?' Convincing herself was so easy for Gayatri. She was the best, wasn't she?

A click alerted Gayatri of the end of Vikram's phone conversation. She turned, only to see an amused smirk on his face. 'What did this pompous princess do now?'

Immediately beginning to badmouth Vasundhara, Gayatri tried to garner her father's attention back to herself. Vikram did not waste time in rebuking her this time. "Oh shut up Darling! She is a worthy opponent...And what could be better than fighting someone who doesn't back down?" His signature smirk, along with the coldness in his drawling voice gave Gayatri the chills. Worried, her mind traversed to an entirely different universe, where her father was a desirable man, with good breeding and Vasundhara was the damsel who gave him the run for his money. 'Was father thinking of --'

"And before you think of any more rubbish, tell me what are you planning for Viraj now. That boy has resumed his stupid shooting I hear." Vikram knew when he had to stop Gayatri.

Suitably chastened, Gayatri started explaining about her petty plans for sabotaging Viraj's academy and Arjun's life. "Most distasteful! Is that all you could come up with?" Never before had Gayatri seen such a hateful expression on her father's face for her. He threw away his glass of wine, picked up his phone and walked out in anger. Gayatri was shocked. What had happened? A lone tear slipped from her eye when she suddenly realized that this was not the first time. Her intuition came galloping back to warn her of impending doom. Some things would need to be done...

**************

"Oi be careful with that box!" Nisha shouted after Karan, her colleague at Lakshya Academy, as he rushed past her. He didn't seem to hear her in the entire hustle bustle.
Nisha sighed and continued with her inspection of safety measures. Everything was alright.
She turned around to see girls and boys, some her age, some a little younger accompanied by their parents and a few older than her flitting into the venue for the competition.
They all looked excited. Nisha smiled, their enthusiasm was infectious.
It was a bright and pleasant day and Nisha felt positive about it.

"Nishu, Viraj Sir has said the competition should start half an hour and you know he's very particular about punctuality" said Saurav coming towards her with a couple of files and a bag in his hand, "So if you're done enjoying the day please help me group all these people, I've the list sorted here with me"
Nisha took a file from his hand and flicked through the contents. "You know I've been working too and unlike you I'm done with all the work that was assigned to me" She said and stuck out her tongue at him.

"Yeah, I'm done with all the other of my work too! Meera was supposed to help me out with this but as she has called sick today so you'd have to fill in" retorted Saurav.

"This place cannot work without me, can it?" Nisha mocked.
"Yeah, because before you came, Viraj Sir was kind enough to pay us for not getting the work done" smirked Saurav.
"Speaking of Viraj sir, we could enjoy our time bickering or we could save ourselves from seeing what Sir looks like when he's angry" Nisha took Saurav's elbow and dragged him along, "Because I don't know about you but I'd prefer not seeing that side of him!"

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"Why can't I get it right? It seemed to be so easy when I'd seen it on television!"

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