I feel like nowadays im not even getting the chance to breathe- so here i am sounding repetitive and boring but honestly i mean every word of apology i say. I would try and reply to all your comments but i just dont have the time right now and I'd rather just get the next chapter out as soon as possible so you guys dont have to wait for any longer. So please guys, give me one last chance and please comment, like... vote... please, i really do try very hard to get these updates to you. Thank you so much for never stopping supporting me, its so much more than i deserve. Please enjoy...
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He knocked on the door, panting heavily after his evening jog. He had jogged to try to take all the agony inside him and channel it in to the throbbing of his injured leg and pure hardcore adrenaline.
He knocked again and this time he heard small thumping footsteps clatter to the door before the lock clicked and the door swung open.
His mouth fell wide open at the sudden shock to the system. He held his breath as if he was to afraid to breathe, and his eyes had shattered and were so fixated that they almost didnt seem real. They were dead eyes, red and glazed over in unshed tears. Every fibre of his body begged that it he had just arrived at the wrong house, that it was all a nightmare.
"Hero Uncle!" Nishaan shrieked in excitement with a gleeful jump, he ran inside screaming to the upstairs.
"Mumma! Neeche aaake dekh mumma! Wo hero uncle humare ghar mein aaya hai!" His voice flooded with enthusiasm and pure joy and impaitence. "Mumma!"
"Koi aaya hai?" Neil felt another stab as Avni's beautiful voice called from upstairs. "Ek minute baby, mein abhi abhi aati hu..."
Nishaan ran over to Neil with an adorable smile but in his current state Neil just didnt have the heart to smile back. Nishaan dragged him inside like a limp lifeless corpse by the arm to make him sit on the sofa.
"Yeh hai mera ghar hero uncle... pasand aaya?" His voice was too lovely to reject, so Neil tried to nod with a forced smile.
"Papa!" Another gutting stab dragged through Neil's stomach at the word papa, the truth drilling through him agonizingly. "Papa! Neeche aao na? Mujhe aap ko koi se milana hai..."
"Haan haan beta, papa abhi aati hu..." Gaurav's voice hit Neil like a third bullet to the heart, a single earth shattering tear falling down his face. His breath getting caught in his lungs.
"Neil?" Avni breathed out in utter shock when she came in to the room. Nishaan looked up at her in confusion at how she knew his hero uncle.
And Neil looked up at her and she could see the Hurt, furiousity, lonliness and pain of betrayal sufforcating him as the tears fell down his face.
She instictively ran to Nishaan and swung him on to her hip and hugged him protectively, as if shielding him. He felt another pang in his heart.
Neil POV
How could she think that i could hurt her son?
She- she has a son? How could she- she move on and- and have a son? How did this- i thought she- there was still a little hope that she loved me- that... its all gone. I have no place in her life anymore.
I feel myself rub at the tears that are running down my face visciously but I have no controll over my body anymore. Gaurav came in to the room, and i felt my heart stop and rage burn my eyes as he neared my Avni. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in. My fists clenched. Stroking Nishaan's hair, i could see him mummuring something to her under his breath, asking... asking about me.
I wanted to scream at him not to touch her, to take his hands off my Avni. I wanted to hug avni to my chest and hide her face in my arms and tell him that when I'm there nobody can hurt her- that when I'm there she doesn't need anybody else. But Avni has stolen that right away from me. Now she wasn't mine and now... now there they were, the three of them. Looking exactly like a happy family, that i was ruining.
End of POV
The most painful thing was when she saw him trying to pull a smile on to his face, so forced that it strained his watering eyes. He approached Gaurav, hiding his fury behind his eyes and his voice was clogged with tears he refused to cry.
"Araay wah... so you also have a little boy? Neil's snideness in tone was almost untraceable but everyone could sense the tension looming in the atmosphere.
"Haan, my adorable little Nishaan... His glare at Neil was challenging and he smirked arrogantly as he pulled Avni in to his side. "And his mother, my beautiful wife Avni... my perfect family.
She cried silently seeing the hurt that pierced Neil's eyes at Gaurav's words. Neil laughed loudly as if he was trying to channel his pain into it, it dripped with sarcasm.
"Well your very lucky sir... " He sighed heavily, his vison hazed from tears. "mujhe bhi saapna tha... aisa ek parivaar hone ki... mere ek pyaara baccha, ek patni... aur mujhe bhi chaata tha ki ek din mein kaam se ghar wapas aayenga aur jab mein mera parivaar ko dekhenga mere saaree pareshaani sab gayab ho gayenga, ki meri zindagi pyaar se bhar jaenga... nafrat se nahi...
She felt like someone was ripping her heart out of her chest when he looked at her, his gaze bore into her soul and she could feel with every part of her body the pure agony that coursed through him.
"Oh... you have no wife? No love interest? Gaurav's voice was misguiding, neither here nor there. Neil stared intensely in to Avni's eyes the entire time, the rest of the world disappearing for him.
"Nahi...ab nahi... Par tha... ek ladki tha jo meri zindagi mein aayi aur mera dil chura liya aur mujhe esaas bhi tak nahi ho chuka ... wo meri zindagi mein itni important hui ki jaane unjaane wo meri jaan bangayi... he took a deep breath, as if the next words pained to say. "Aur jab wo chali gaya wo meri jaan bhi uske saath leke jaya... he laughed bitterly, the sadness straining his voice. "Mujhe laktha tha ki wo bus misunderstandings ki wajai chali gaya tha aur ki ek din mujhe wo sab teek kar payengi aur wo wapas ayengi mere paas.
The strenuous pain reverberating in the sobs that he hid in his voice felt like she was being wrenched in anguish. She couldn't bear his bloodshot eyes, trembling body or the vulnerability on his face. He smiled at her softly, and every word of love yet hatred, rage yet helplessness, agony yet relief that he yearned to say was spoken through his eyes. The disappointment, she could see the disappointment in his eyes.
"Par phir mujhe ehsaas hogaya ki... misunderstandings nahi thi jo hame thod diya... shayad- shayad meri kismat mein hi nahi tha aisa ek parivaar. Shayad jo pyaar mujhe tha uske liye... wo usko nahi tha... shayad hum ka beech jo tha wo kuch nahi tha... shayad mein uske liye layak hi nahi tha...
The way his jaw quivered with cries was insufferable, she had never witnessed so much pain in his eyes. She just wanted to consume all his pain so he had to feel none of it, she wanted to tell him the truth that Nishaan was his son- that Nishaan was his and that she was too. But that would cost them everything.
She reached out her hand to touch his arm comfortingly, tears rolling down her face, "Neil... Neil meri baat suno, yeh sab-"
He flinched at her touch and threw her hand of him as if he was disgusted at her. She gasped in surprise, she had never seen his eyes flare with such hatred when he looked at her.
"Mujhe chu mat... yeh dikhava ki zarowath nahi hai Mrs Gaurav Dewan. He muttered under his breath, seething with rage. He folded his hands together as if he was praying for mercy, his voice suddenly pleading. "Please at least abhi mujhe chod do... aisa mat khelo mera dil ki saath... bohot dard hota hai...
Her lips parted to say something but before she could say anything he stormed out, trying to muffle his sobs and caressing the back of his neck with hand.
Her heart was racing, and she surrounded from all corners. Her baby watched her with fearfully confused eyes, Her heart screamed at her to run behind her Neil but her feet were glued to place, Gaurav's eyes were sending her daggers and his nails digging in to her skin so that she doesnt think twice to go and follow Neil.
Avni kneeled to Nishaan's level, and he could see the tears in his mumma's eyes as she tried to smile at him. She caressed his cheek with her trembling fingers. "Baccha... tum ab jao teek hai? Mumma thodi dher baath aayenga... jaake homework sab complete karo teek hai?
Nishaan nodded somehow immediately sensing his mother's helplessness and walked out the room. She winced in pain she felt at his nails sinking in to her skin and making it bleed in his force. She shivered in fear.
"You better not be getting influenced by his stupid sentimental talks... okay? Gaurav's stare was violently threatening, he looked like he could lash out at her at any minute. "Okay!? If not you know what will happen dont you?
She nodded weakly and desperately, her eyes totally terrified.
"You will lose everything. Gaurav smiled in content, finally loosening his harsh grip. "You will lose your everything Avni.
...
Neil scrambled through his suitcase like a madman, throwing the contents here and there and scattering it across the floor. Finally he found what he was looking for. He picks it up and stares at it furiously, his clenched jaw shaking.
It was their picture... his despairing tears fell on to the glass of the photoframe and ran down it. In the picture they were as happy as they had ever been. Neil was hugging Avni from behind tightly, his chin resting on her shoulder. Avni was chattering happily in to the camera, but he had eyes only for her. He was admiring her with a awe filled grin at her antics, their smiles were priceless.
He growled like a wild animal in utter frustration at the trick his life had played on him. He threw the frame on to the ground recklessly and the glass shattered just like his heart had a short while ago. He slid down the wall and fell to the ground, his sobbing head hidden in his hands. He sounded like a scared a little boy who had lost his mother, or was stuck in the darkness. Today he missed his mother and his bebe desperately, he had no one's lap to lie on and let himself calm down as they ran their hands through his hair. He hugged his knees to his chest as if suddenly all the warmth in his body had been stolen as he tried to stop weeping but couldn't. Images of Gaurav's hand around Avni, the thought of what inevitably had to happened if they had a child, the realisation that he had lost her, that his worst nightmare- losing her- had played out in front of his eyes was killing him. Slowly, like poison was slowly seeping through his skin.
"Hero uncle?
An adorable confused and scared voice lisped from the doorway and Neil's head snapped up to look at him.
Neil immediately rubbed his hands over his face to scrub away his tears roughly when seeing Nishaan by the door. He smiled softly to try and ease Nishaan's fear, his eyes filled with tears of guilt that he scared a little child.
"Hero uncle kya hogaya? Nishaan sprinted over to the corner of the room where Neil sat, with concern radiating from his puppy dog eyes. It hurt to see Nishaan- now he could see all these things about this adorable boy that resembled his beautiful mother. The way his eyebrows raised yet furrowed in concern, and how his eyes were so soft and filled with innocence and unconditional love.
"Kuch nahi... mein bilkhul teek hu beta... Neil painfully whispered to Nishaan as he cupped the little boy's cheek and admired him, but Neil's eyes decieved him and tears flowed out.
Nishaan clambered on to Neil's lap with a knowing frown, he wiped away Neil's tears with his small thumbs making Neil smile sadly at his cuteness.
"Heros kaisa hota hai uncle? Nishaan asked Neil innocently, tugging on his shirt.
Neil pushes the stray hair of his forehead with an affectionate smile.
"Cowards get scared and quit but heros? Heros gets scared but still carry on...
"Heros bhi kabhi kabhi bore hota hai uncle... Nishaan whispered to him sweetly , Neil looked at him in confusion and question.
"Kya?
"Aap ko hero hone ke liye aap ka dard sab chupakane ke liye zarowarth nahi hai uncle... mere liye aap hamesha hero hi hai chaiye aap strong ho ya sad... warna boring honga na? Nishaan smiled at him proudly, melting his heart.
Neil was shocked to silence by the little boy in front of him. His mouth was parted open in speechlessness, and all his tears burst forth like a dam. The little boy had somehow said exactly what what he needed to hear- he was exactly like Avni. The same understanding and care, the same selfless maturity developed at such a young age. Neil pulled him straight in to a huge hug, Nishaan cuddled in to his chest. Neil tightened his hands around his small body and rested his chin on his head as he sobbed loudly and incessantly.
Nishaan couldn't stand his crying and pulled out of the hug only to kneel on Neil's knees so that he's more at Neil's level and pulls him in to an even tighter hug. This time Neil's head was tucked in to the nook of his neck and his tears wetted Nishaan's shoulder. Nishaan stroked Neil's hair cutely like he does with his mumma, and Neil almost immediately calmed down through Nishaan's pure touch.
"Kyu roh rahi hu uncle, aap koi se bohot nafrat karthi hu? Neil slowly stopped crying and smiled slightly at his naivety.
"Nahi beta... mein koi se bohot pyaar karthi hu...
"Par pyaar logo ko khush bana tha hai na? udaas nahi... Neil's eyes glassed over, Avni had kept this little boy so sheltered, so unblemished, he had not seen a single ugly thing of the world, Neil realises that Avni didnt want her son to feel anything she had in her childhood, his heart panged.
"Pyaar bohot special cheez hai beta... wo zindagi ki sabse khubsurat baat hai par wo zindagi ki sabse painful baat bhi... because pyaar aisa hi hota hai...
"Kab kisi se pyaar hota hai uncle? Neil almost chuckled at the confusion in Nisaan's eyes, he patted Nishaan's cheek lovingly, his eyes filled with warmth.
"Tum tumhare mumma se pyaar kartha hu na? Aisa hi hota hai pyaar... Neil tried to explain the feeling as best as he could- but Nishaan still appeared puzzled.
"Haan mein mumma se pyaar kartha hu... mein bohot pyaar kartha hu... par wo aunty jo aap pyaar kartha hai, wo aap ka mumma nahi hai na? Tho aap kaisa usse pyaar karne shuru kiya?
Neil sighed, looking off in to the distance while Nishaan watched him intently. There was deep pain in his eyes as tears spilled out them.
"Mujhe bhi nahi jhanta beta... ki mujhe kab or kaisi pyaar hogaya... par jab hota hai... tho... tho tu gaya bhai... He laughed dotingly but more teardrops streaked down his face that Nishaan wiped away immediately. "Uske aankhoon, uske hasse... uska muskaraan... uske yaade... its like- its like a sudden collision on stars that sends you plummeting down in to a deep murky ocean. Thats so beautiful yet stained with a pain and fear that you'll lose it forever. And i did beta- i lost it forever.
"Nahi hero uncle, im sure wo aunty aap ke paas wapas ayenga... after all aap itna pyaara hai na? Nishaan pulled his cheeks and Neil finally laughed sincerely after so many days, but somehow cried stimulataneously at he wished circumstances were different.
Nishaan kissed Neil gently of the forehead and a sob of agony got stuck in his throat, this little boy was so irresistibly loveable that everybody would be charmed by him the second they met him.
"Mere liye kissie nahi hai uncle? He murmured sleepily with a loud yawn, resting his tired head on Neil shoulder and nestling in to his chest. "Mujhe bhi kissie chaiye..
Neil grinned at him, so passionately endeared by this little Nishaan. Neil's tears fell in to Nishaan's hair as Neil leaned down to plant a small kiss on Nishaan's cheek.
"Sleepy hai beta?
Nishaan nodded in to his shirt, his voice barely audible because of sleepiness, "Haan... aap... aap meri liye lori gayengi? ... Mein lori ki bina sauti nahi hu...
Neil smiled while his heavy eyes shut for a second, he rubbed Nishaan's back consolingly as he started singing. He resented the fact that avni had a child- but a man like Neil could never harbour hatred to a child who had no control over who his parents were. Nishaan could feel Neil's tears touch his skin as Neil remembered how Avni would soothe him to sleep with this song.
"Aa leke chalun tujhko ek aise desh mein...
"Arreey yeh hi lori hai jo mumma gaa ti hai... Nishaan mumbled into Neil's neck, Neil smiled sadly.
"Haan shayad... He continued to cradle Nishaan in his arms and rock him slightly, somehow somewhere he wished that this son was his own and that love he had always wanted to shower on his son... he showered on little Nishaan. Because after all, now a there was no scope for him to have his own child, and this little boy held in him a part of his Avni... which immediately made him precious for Neil. "Aa leke chalun tujhko
Avni climbs up the stairs, hugging her self and shivering, caressing her wounds and her crying head hung low. Suddenly she stops where she is, as if hypnotised by the beauty of the rugged love evident in his stunningly husky voice, he was singing their song... and its was breathlessly beautiful.
She started running up the stairs, desperate to be closer to the sound, to drown in its deepness.
...
The smile on her face was irreplaceable, the happiest and the most pained its ever been. Both Nishaan and Neil had dozed off. Nishaan's head was resting on Neil's chest, Neil's cheek was resting on Nishaan's head and his arms embraced him protectively. The sight was the most divine thing she has ever seen but yet it was the most excruciating too. Her blood drummed against her ears as helplessness held her heart captive- she sobbed softly. There was nothing else she could do.
She went over to the both of them, the most precious things in her life were right in front of her. She caressed both of their faces with each of her hands, admiring them im amazement. She pressed a loving kiss on Nishaan's forehead.
Her eyes then lingered on Neil, her heart begging her to rest her lips against his skin yet her mind being stubbornly reluctant. Finally the adorableness of Neil's innocent sleeping face forced her mind to give up, and she kissed his hair gently as she cried at her own helplessness internally.
She pulled a blanket over them. She lifted Nishaan slightly away from Neil so Neil would be more comfortable but Neil frowned and grunted in his sleep and pulled Nishaan back closer in to him, Avni couldn't help but smile tenderly- love and protection was part of a father's intuition she realised.
How couldn't Neil realise that Nishaan was his son, he was exactly like him in ever single way. Nishaan always put others before him even as a child, he respected everybody like mad, he was obdient and kind and absolutely adorable and he loved and protected her like anything- exactly like Neil did. Even right now, they had the same tossled reddish brown hair, the same pink tinted button nose and charming smile, the same melted chocolate eyes when they were awake that could woo the most stubborn of people. And the innocence and purity of their love- when they loved someone they loved with each and every bit of their hearts, would do anything for the one they loved, and if their heart broke then thoguh they'd try they both could never stop loving... both the father and son were the most loving and perfect kind of men she had even seen in her life. Not any kind of Ashish Mehta, ketan Mehta or any Gaurav Dewan. Neil and Nishaan were one of a kind, and completely and utterly hers.
Precap-
His eyes were so red she thought that they could be bleeding, she was scared to come any closer... he had never seen him so destructively angry... so explosive.
"Hey! Don't you dare touch her... you get it!?
Edited by Somewhatwriter - 7 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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