Sorry I haven't replied to your replies or updated, its exam season for me but i still wanted to update for you all so here you go, please enjoy! Please please comment and like, tell me what was your favourite part because I love seeing what you think! Thank you,
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He lifted her face and loving wiped away the stray tears on her cheeks,
"Okay, ab bus, now I don't want to see any tears in your eyes... samji?
She broke out in to a small smile and his heart burst in to sparkles of happiness. He just watched her in absolute awe, even with mascara smudged over her face she managed to look so beautiful that it blew him away. Just those big brown eyes and that shy smile as she subconsciously stroked his chest was enough to make his knees melt in front of her.
"Aisa ghoorna mat Neil... Embarrassed blush tints her cheeks and she cutely tries to hide her face in his shirt.
"Kyu? Mein tumhara pati ho na? Mujhe poora hak hai... He chuckles, admiring her antics.
"Par aisa kya hai ghoorne ke liye? Mein koi patli model nahi hu na? Mein khubsurat bhi nahi hu... Phir kyu aise ghoor rahe hu?
He sighed, cupping her face and tenderly tucking her loose strands behind her face so he could get a better view on her stunning eyes. Those goddamn eyes managed to take his breath away everytime. He had memorised each stroke of colour in them, as he stared in to them so intently.
"Kaash tum khud ko mere nazare se dikh pati, phir tum samjonge ki tum kitni khubsurat ho... mujhe kitna gussa aata hai jab har maard tum par dewaana ho jaata hai par tumhe kuch nahi dikh paraha hai...
"Kuch bhi kehte hai hu... She nudges him playfully with a shake of her head and a small frown.
But he couldn't take his eyes off her, she didn't understand the intensity of the feelings in his heart. The adoration, the admiration, the devotion, the obsession. Three little words like I love couldn't sum up something so indefinable.
Out of nowhere he kissed her lips hurriedly, it was too quick to reciprocate but it had so much passion and fervour that it electrified her veins. It was as if he was devouring the taste of her lips after longing for them so desperately.
"Wo kya tha Mr Khanna? She looked at him in palpable shock.
"You know I love you right? No matter what? And you know that nobody on this earth could love you as much as i do? He caressed her cheek and looked in to her eyes with fierce possessiveness.
"Yes baba tum ab bus 10 minutes pehele hi bola tha... She rolled her eyes with a small smile at his adorable panicking. "Ab bolo wo sab zaroori tha kya?
He pecked her forehead with a grin, and then rested his forehead against hers, "nahi, par tum itni khubsurat dikh rahi thi ki mujhe aapne aap ko sambhal nahi paya...
She shook her head, as he protectively curled his arms around her waist. But she winced as he touched her wound. He immediately freaked out,
"Kya hua!? He looked down and scanned over her waist in fright.
Tears filled his eyes as he realised the pain was from a wound inflicted by Vidyut, he steps back with fisted hands and it seemed that her pain was stinging him worse.
"Jaa ke kapade badal jao Avni... his voice was blunt and restrained as if he was trying with all his might to refrain from thinking about that monster.
Her eyes turned glassy at his reaction but she went over to the cupboard and took out one of the nighties that was hung up in the cupboard.
As she pulled her pallu down to change, he immediately turned his head and closed his eyes as not to invade her privacy. She almost broke down at this small simple gesture of his, in the past 5 years nobody had respected her enough to look away, she could only remember lust in that monster's eyes.
"I'm done... she whispered, making him look round at her. She bit her lip on the verge of tears in shame, as he rushed over to her with shock in his eyes.
She pulled the gown tighter around her body but it didn't do much to help the burning confused disappointment in his eyes. Her nightie was tiny, barely skimming her thighs, tight but with skimpy material, and so low cut that her cleaverage was spilling out.
"Yeh kya pehenri ho Avni? Kuch aur nahi hai? She could see his distinct discomfort and it melted her heart, she knew the nature of a man and that anyone in his place would be happy to see her like this but he, her Neil, always thought about her first, respected her, understood how she must be feeling.
She shook her head slowly with moist eyes, "Vidyut stocked all of my cupboards, I didn't get to choose...
Neil growled in deep cutting agony with his eyes squeezed shut and a single tears falling down his cheek. He punches the wall in frustration, beads of blood running to the surface of his skin but he barely flinches.
She gasps and grabs his hand to check over it, "What the hell are you doing Neil? Stop it!
"Go and change in to a shirt of mine. Now. His voice was harsh and cold, and she just listened and changed quickly, not wanting to anger him further.
"Mumma?
Both their heads snapped around to see Nishaan in the doorway.
Neil gasps immediately, his eyes watering in ecstasy that bubbled through his veins. Tears of overwhelming happiness ran down Neil's face as he kneeled down in front of Nishaan and frantically looked over every part of him, admiring his son. His mind couldn't believe it, that this boy infront of him was his son, their son, part of them. But he could see it, he could see his younger self in those mischievous eyes and he could see her in Nishaan's innocence, in his unconditional love, in his adorable antics and in that silly smile.
He cupped Nishaan's face whispering in disbelief, "Nishaan... beta... He just stared at his son in bewildered wonder.
Suddenly, he scooped Nishaan in to a bone-crushing hug, so tight that Nishaan was probably struggling to breathe. He rested his face on Nishaan's small shoulder, and spun him round in giddy joy, holding on to his son as if his life depended on it.
She wiped away the tears on her face, there was gruelling guilt churning in the pit of her stomach, that she made him suffer through this seperation and this pain. He forgot all about it, never held a grudge against her, but she was his culprit. She was the one who had caused all his pain.
Neil looked around at her, his eyes shining in excitement but then frowning seeing her unhappy. He beckons her with his hand.
"Ab kyu sad hoke waha kyu ho? Aaja na? He gives her that million dollar smile of his that nobody could resist and she feels her heart turn gooey, and all her worries melt away. She runs beside him letting out happy tears and he instinctively pulls her in to the hug, nuzzling them both to his chest. She rests her exhausted head on his shoulder and the burden of guilt on her chest lightened as she found solace in his arms.
She felt small hands running through her hair and looked up to see Nishaan. He was patting her hair lovingly, with sad fearful eyes.
"Mumma aap ab teek ho na? Papa ne-"
Neil cut in, hiding his heart aching worry for his son's traumatised mind under a reassuring smile. The truth was he couldn't bear hearing about Vidyut again, about how he hurt Avni.
"Wo bilkhul 100% teek hai beta... dekho wo smile bhi kar rahi hai... hain na Nishu ki mumma?
Neil gestured for her to smile, and she did, that too genuinely. Who wouldn't smile like a reckless teenager at this dashing, smart, loving, heart-stealing young man?
"And all because of your hero uncle too... He smiled proudly like a baby, making her chuckle at his immaturity. Nishaan's face lit up as he grinned at his hero.
"Aap mumma ko bachaya!? Neil nodded as he smiled at the relief on Nishaan's face.
But then Nishaan's face warped again, on the verge of crying, making Neil frown in worry, his voice soft and soothing, "Kya hua baccha?
It broke both of their hearts to see the scars that were clearly visible to them as his parents, not on his skin but in his eyes, on his heart. And as he lisped in his small broken voice all they pleaded with god was to let them heal him.
"Par mujhe phir se papa ki paas jana hoga na? Mujhe nahi jaana unke paas... wo bohot bura hai... please Hero uncle-"
"Nahi beta... shhh... mein aisa kuch nahi hone dooga... promise... tum uske paas kabhi nahi jaayenga... He rocked Nishaan comfortingly, facing away to wipe the tears streaking his face so Nishaan doesn't see them.
"Par wo mera papa hai... i will have to see him right?
With a sharp intake of air, Neil looked over at Avni helplessy. There was fear looming in his eyes that made her ache, because she couldn't help but remember it was all because of her.
She gently pulled Nishaan toward her by his wrists, smiling as tears tethered on the edge of her eyes. She wipes away the tears on his face and strokes his cheek.
"Beta... mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai... teek hai? Nishaan nodded obedienty and cutely, making their eyes water. "Beta... wo aadmi... tumhara papa nahi hai...
"Mera papa nahi hai? Phir wo kaun hai? The puzzlement on Nishaan's face made them weak in the heart, Neil saw Avni faltering but held her hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. She looked at him, stinging him with those pained eyes. He smiled as best he could, nodding with bloodshot eyes.
"Yeh baat bohot mushkil hai samajna aur mumma ko yeh jhanti hu... par tum ko gabrane ki koi zarowath nahi hai... teek hai baby? Wo- wo aadmi bohot bura hai... aur wo sach me tumhara papa nahi hai, wo bus aisa bol raha tha, mumma ko dhara ne ke liye par wo sirf ek bura aadmi hai. She tried to smile, to lighten the news because it hurt like hell to tell all this to her son. All her life, all she wanted was to never let her child suffer like her.
"And anyway... tumara papa wo ho hi nahi saktha na? aisa ek bura insaan ko itna accha ladka ki papa ho saktha hai kya?
"Tho mere paas ek accha papa nahi hai? He frowned deeply, his eyes were glassy and it felt a pang of pain soaring through their chests. Neil looked at her with excruciating worry in his eyes.
"No baby... of course you do... She brushed back Nishaan's hair softly, a motherly habit she had developed that Neil watched in wonder with awestruck eyes. "Tumhe pata hai? Tum ko ek perfect papa hai... wo bohot strong hai, aur bohot smart, aur bohot accha... bohot handsome bhi, bilkhul tumhara tarah...
The faithful smile on her face and her glimmering hopeful eyes while she talked about him made Neil gulp down weeps of emotion that were stuck in his chest. His fingers itched to wipe the tears on her face. "Wo kabhi tumhe udaas nahi rehne dega, aur kabhi bhi tumhe dhar lagaya tho wo tumhe bachaiyenga... humesha... bilkhul ek hero ki tarah... nishaan... wo tumhe aur mumma ko bohot bohot pyaar karenga ... aur mumma promise karthi hu, ab hum ko us aadmi ki tarah koi ki paas nahi jana hoga...
"Sacch? Khon hai mera Hero papa?! His eyes shone expectantly, excitement bubbling in his voice.
A breaking Avni looked over at Neil, hurting him with the agony in her eyes, she lifted his hand and placed it on Nishaan's cheek, interlinking her fingers with his.
"Yeh hero... hero uncle nahi hai... yeh tumhara papa hai Nishaan...
A few moments of shocked silence pass before Nishaan whispers with big watery eyes of astounded admiration. Neil's eyes urged desperately, for his precious boy to accept him.
"Papa?
Neil roared in gleeful laughter, happy tears streaming from his eyes. He lifts Nishaan up and spins him round, giddy with joy all over again. He couldn't contain the happiness blaring like an explosion of a star within him. It was like a new borns first word, first step, first day of school... everything he had missed had been given back to him with that single word.
Avni quivered with cries watching them, a sweet insufferable pain growling in her chest. The guilt felt like murder, stabbing her repeatedly in the gut. It was so beautiful that it hurt like salt in a wound.
"Nishu... beta... Neil chuckled in glee as he scruched his face and pulled Nishaan's cheeks, cooing at him like a small baby. He took Nishaan's hands and encapsulated it with his big hands, his eyes wet with overbearing love. "Papa promise kartha hu beta... mein tumhe ya tumhara mumma ko kabhi koi nuksaan nahi hone dooga... kabhi nahi...
A bright smile broke out on Nishaan's face and it lit up both his parents' entire world. He leaned up, holding cutely on to Neil's shirt with his tiny chubby hands and placed a big wet kiss on his cheek, making him grin adorably.
With a heart wrenching sob, Avni plants a kiss in both of their hair and they both cuddled in to her instantly. Her small baby Nishaan hid his face in her chest and clutched to her belly and she gingerly rubbed his back. And her Neil nuzzled his nose in to the nape of her neck, clinging to her waist protectively. She tenderly played with his hair and she could feel his warm breath as he sighed contentedly against her skin and one of his tears trickled down her collarbone.
"Avni vada karo ki tum mujhe phirse chood ki nahi jaaonge, tumhare bina mein kuch nahi hu...please... Neil mumbled in to her neck, and she just kissed him again and love that burnt against her lips said more than enough.
She held on to both of them tightly, afraid to let go.
...
Neil relentlessly punched the cupboard wall, and then bashed his forehead against it. Blood was trickling down his skin buy he didn't seem to notice nor feel even a little pain, his eyes were irrevocably raging, like a different person completely. He growled in torture as he continued, not even stopping when the wounds become unmanageable.
Avni stepped inside and her mouth fell open in shock, she sprinted over to him and stood in between the wall and him but he still seemed to be hazed anger so much so that he couldn't see her. He went in for another punch when he suddenly broke out of his trance and saw a teary eyes Avni in front of him and staggered backward in surprise.
She took this moment of weakness to take his bloodied hand in to hers and look over it in mad worry, "What the hell are you doing! Pagal hogaya hu kya?
His eyes crinkled in pain as he watched her loving wipe away the blood with her dupatta. It was excruciating, "HE'S RUN AWAY! THE F*CKING bas***d HAS RUN AWAY AVNI! I'M READY TO TEAR THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD APART, BUT HE WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH HURTING YOU!
She cupped his cheek, looking in to his eyes pleadingly, her whispers were begging him to calm down because she couldn't see him like this anymore, "Neil ab chod do na... bhul do wo sab-"
"Chod do? Kaise Avni? Kaise Chod do!? How can I forget that pain and fear in your eyes!? How can I forget until I kill him?! Kill him for hurting my wife! Rip out those eyes that stared at you indecently, break those arms that touched you! The arms that hurt my delicate Avni who should only be treated like a princess! Even in this fury, he was feathery and gentle as his fingers grazed across her wounds.
"I won't forget Avni! I have to find him!
"Neil please suno meri baat... She stroked his cheek, running her fingers over the stubble on his cheek soothingly. "Im here now na? With you? Lets forget the rest...
"DONT YOU GET IT AVNI!? I FEEL SO F*CKING WORTHLESS! You suffered for all those years, my wife was tortured by a monster for so many years and i couldn't do anything!? I failed Avni! I failed to protect you! I'M F*CKING USELESS! Yeh sab mere galati hai! He smashed his fist against the wall again with a frustrated cry, Avni lips were parted in shock as she saw the raw agony in his eyes, it was insufferable watching him break like this.
"Stop! STOP IT NEIL! She grabs his hand with one of her hands and caresses his hair roughly with the other, she was forced to be rough to stop his crazy violence to himself. He finally looks her in the eyes, and all that rage that was protecting his soul crumbles away and she could see how small and vulnerable he really was underneath. "Why the hell are you hurting yourself like this!?
His whisper was tiny, his voice coarse and broken, on the verge of sobs, and his eyes so fragile like a small child, "You were hurt so much and I could nothing about it Avni- I hate myself- im so disgusted- I- I need to feel the same- I just want to- want to share the pain- you can't suffer on- on your own- its all my fault...
"Oh no baby... don't think like that... don't say that... its okay... don't cry... she frowned deeply with tears spilling down her face , cupping his cheek lovingly. But he shatters, hugging her waist desperately and hiding his face in the nape of her neck as he breaks down in to hysterical sobs. She rubs his back tenderly, whispering sweet nothings in his ears. She could feel his forehead burn against her skin.
She lifts his face up and checks his forehead worriedly against the back of her hand.
"Neil tumhe kitni thez bukhar hai! Her voice is pitched in worry as she forces him to sit down on the sofa and rushes back with water and medicine. She frowns as she feeds him medicine and makes him drink water, caressing his forehead caringly. "Look at what you've done worrying so much... you made yourself sick...
He doesn't seem to realise what's going on in his hazed state, he just slumps lifelessly on the sofa muttering as if he was stuck in some sort of trauma, "i am sick... sick at the thought of what he did to you...
"Neil please... leave it now... i said its okay... She squeezed his hand reassuringly , wiping away the tears staining his cheeks. "Rest, let me go and make you something to eat...
She gets up to leave but feels something tug her backwards, she turns to see him gripping to her hand like a small child. She sees him try and stand up but pushes him back to sit down in concern of him exerting himself too much, "tum akele mat jao... mein aata hu... agar tum akele jaonge tumhe khon raksha karenge? Phir se Vidyut aaya tho?
Her eyes glass over in sad awe, she felt she didn't deserve so much love and care, such a perfect husband, "Wo nahi aayenga baby, mujhe jaane do, mein bilkhul hoga...
He shook his head stubbornly, "Mein tumhe kahi nahi jaane dooge...
"Neil... She sighed, but she knew her efforts were useless as he was entirely reluctant. She gave up and sat on the sofa next to him. "Teek hai... par abhi tumhe rest karna padegi...
He immediately rested his head in her lap, clutching to her folded legs desperately. She felt his tears soak her leg as she runs her hands through his hair and tears ran down her face. They fell in to a comforting silence, just their breathing enough to soothe their souls.
He holds her hand that was resting on his hair, kisses it softly before resting her crying face against it, "Mein tumhe kuch nahi hone dooga Avni... koi bhi tumhe mujhse churane nahi dooga...
She sniffled back her cries and kissed the side of his head affectionately, caressing his head protectively, "i know baby... it will be all okay now, I'll be okay...
"Promise? He mumbles like a small kid making her grin at his cuteness, "tum teek hoge?
"Haan baba... pakka promise... Mein bilkhul.. she whispered, finally reassuring his restless heart. She sat there and stroked his arm until he fell asleep, his tears sticky as they dry up on his face.
...
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