I can't apologise enough for the delay, and for not commenting on all your wonderful stories and not replying to the loviest and wonderful comments on this story and my other. I really have been so super busy with school and i hope you understand that once im less busy I'll be back to being active but till then my top priority is to update for you when i can. I really still appreciate each and every comment and like just as much as i used to and i really hipe that if you have the time you guys will spare me a comment or like, it means the whole world to me. Im sorry that this intro isnt long enough to explain how much i want to apologise but i just want to update when i have this little bit of spare time. Thank you so much my lovely lovely friends. Hope you enjoy...
...
His sobbing face was hidden in his shameful hands, he hated himself for crying. More tears spilled down his face at the thought that Avni must have cried like this, millions of times, because of him. He doesn't deserve to cry, he doesn't have the right to let out the pain inside him, he was a monster. He didn't have a right on human emotion.
Finally he dragged himself to the bench outside the gate of her home. Avni's home. Words came less to describe how it stung to think that a place without him could be a home to her. That she could have a family without him in it.
The buzzing happiness that came from seeing the little Nishaan was slowly fading away, the void again empty in his heart. If she wanted him gone then he'd go, if it meant there would be a smile on her face.
A smile. Her smile. The smile of a full set of pearly white teeth, that ignited a stunning glow all round her face and the light in his heart. Her eyes glittering brighter than any shade of gold, If she was happy, he is happy, or he would force himself to be. The pain of losing her was insufferable but he would suffer it, for her. He didn't deserve her anymore. Maybe he never deserved her.
Years he waited for a chance of redemption, to heal the wounds he had made with his reckless actions with double the love, all the love in every fibre in his body. Because the truth is, though he might not know it, each of the wounds hurt him more over these years than it did her.
He growled in fustrarion, biting his lips so hard they bled and tearing away ths skin on his arms like he had gone insane. The coolness of his blood sliding over his skin was almost comforting, it was as if it was washing away the burning agony that flooded him.
He tried to recollect himself, shutting his heavy eyes and drawing deep breaths until his breathing settled. It would be near impossible, but he will drag himself in there, take his bags and leave.
...
He walked inside, his eyes immediately searching for his Avni, a desperacy in his skittering eyes. She loomed in the corner and seemed to be immersed in some work, it stung. She didnt even miss his presence, wonder why he had stormed out, she wasn't bothered that she had pained him deeply.
But he didn't see the way she was silently crying from behind her hair, scrubbing at her endless tears violently. Gaurav entered the room, and terese awkwardness filled each corner of the room, settling on to their skin.
Suddenly a book was falling from the shelf above her head. Both the men immediately reacted. But when it came to her, Neil's reflexes where even sharper than usual.
He sprinted to her, his eyes wide and alarmed with intense concern. He spun her around in to his arms just before the book came tumbling down and before she could even react. Her papers were scattered around the floor and while saving her, he lost his footing and fell to the ground.
He had landed on his injured foot, and unbearable agony shot up his leg and he winced loudly.
Gavrav made a huge scene of fussing over her.
Even in this pain, Neil's fist curled tightly and jaw shook in rage seeing the way that man traced his filthy hands all over her. The wary expression on her face alerted him that something wasn't right, and started up a tsunami of fear in his heart.
He tried to strand up quickly, but couldn't, the pain unbearable.He squeezed his eyes shut as his leg slammed to the floor and throbbed, he gritted his teeth as he groaned.
"Neil!"
Avni struggled out of Gaurav's grasp and ran to his side, kneeling beside him. Her concern and care caused her to forget everything, the situation, their seperation, the way Gaurav looked over at them with a fiery gaze, nothing mattered more than him, she didn't even register what she was doing.
She cupped his face, her eyes glassy with tears that were on the verge of falling down her face and pushed back the hair on his face with her other hand.
"Neil... Neil... Neil what happened?!" Her heart was racing in worry, his groans were excruciating to listen to, each sound wrenching her heart. But he couldn't reply, lost in the surprise of her magical touch and love. "Neil why aren't you saying anything, please..."
His eyes watered with tears, the pain in his leg was forgotten. He wished this pain lasted forever so she would touch him so caringly forever, with that concern and love in her teary eyes forever. It gave him a glimmer of hope, that maybe somewhere she still loved him.
She gasped in horror, looking down at her hand. Its was soaked in bright crimson blood that was seeping through his jeans mercilessly. Now, her tears fell. Tears of love, worry and... guilt.
"Neil! What is this?!"
He closed his eyes, he couldn't see the tears in her eyes. She pulled him to stand carefully, leaning him up against her with his arm around her shoulders. He watches her in surprise as she drags him away in to her room.
...
He felt sufforcated in this room, sitting on her bed. Just the mere idea that she shared this room with that man, that she could fall asleep in that man's embrace, her head resting on that man's chest and her arms hooked round that man's shoulders, that man's arms around her sculpted waist... instead of his. The thought was murdering him, and furious tears ran down his face.
She caressed his face softly, and he could see the tender care in her eyes. It was captivating, he wanted to capture his lips to hers and show her how he felt in a way words just couldn't. "Dard bohot hai?"
Thats what she thought he was crying about, he almost smiled at how wrong she was. This bullet wound reopening seems to have been the luckiest thing thats happened to him.
"Neil- this can get infected! How did this even happen? Zameen pe koi sharp cheez tha kya? Im so sorry- did i leave something there?" Neil wanted to erase the worry of her face as she carried on rambling in panic, but he was way too enraptured in happiness seeing her act so like her old self, seeing her love and concern still exist.
His eyes widened in absolute shock as his body went stiff. Her hands had travelled to his jeans and she was unbuckling his belt. His face went bright pink, not trusting himself to not get visibly aroused by her touch, he stammered cutely.
"Avni?"
She looked up and the look in his eyes almost made her burst out laughing, she looked down shyly carrying on unbuckling. She whispered softly, with a tiny lingering of a smile.
"Don't worry Mr Khanna... mujhe aisa waisa koi iraada nahi hai... samji? I'm looking away" He chuckled slightly, the smallest light hearted comments, even the hint of her smile was invaluable, it was worth everything to him. "Let me just see the wound please..."
Her voice was strained in pleading, the worry tainting the edges of her voice again. He didn't want her to see the state of it, he didn't want to hurt her... it was grotesque. But she had already pulled down his trousers, looking away. He immediately yanked down his shirt to hide his underwear before she looked back.
She felt sick to her stomach, all the food she has eaten churning in her stomach. Tears of excruciating guilt scalded her face as they ran down, breaking her down in to loud sobs. She traces her fingers over the wound. The wound was bandaged but blood was seeping out of it rendering it completely blood red, the sickening infection of the wound spread from either side of the bandage, the skin peeling and tender with weird blues and greens and rotten yellow.
"Neil-" She struggled to speak through her violent cries. "How... how did this happen?"
Neil shook his head with teary eyes that prickled with pain. He reached over to her and slowly cupped her face and the look in his eyes said it all. He shook his head no and shushed her, the soft sound was the most loving she had ever heard. She closed her eyes in to his touch as he lovingly wiped away the tears that streaked her face.
"Kuch bhi nahi... Mein phir se bandage karthi hu aur bilkhul teek hoga-" She knew she couldnt do it, but she let him push back her hair and tuck it behind her ear affectionately, she needed the reassurance. The tears slipped out of his eyes. "Bus tum mat chinta karo- teek hai?"
She pressed further, she wasn't going to let this go. "Neil how did this happen? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Its a bullet wound- i got it in Delhi. We were in combat so I couldn't get treated quick enough so it got infected." He looked to the floor, too scared to meet her eyes.
She tried to controll her shaking voice, but couldn't hide the way it was breaking. "Neil. You should be in a hospital, I'm admitting you right now-"
"I'm fine, i dont need to go anywhere-"
"Oh yeah?" Her eyes were stern with care. "What would Bebe or papa ji think of that?"
"They don't know." Avni looked shocked and confused. "After you left, I've never set foot in that house... I- I couldn't live in that house, or sleep in that bed, or- or wake up there without you next to me Avni... "
At that moment she saw stark lonliness drowning his eyes, as if he had lost his limbs or was bereft in a raging ocean. It was shattering.
"Oh Neil..."
She gasped in despair and without thinking pulled him in to a tight and desperate hug. He immediately, as if it was a reflex, snuggled his face in to her neck, before he finally allows himself to break down in to heart breaking whimpers and cries. She rubbed his shaking back, her tears streaming down his shirt and plants a small kiss against his ear.
"I miss them Avni..." he mumbled between his cries and in to her skin vulnerably. " i miss you..."
She frowned, each word stabbing her. Her arms were like a heaven curled up against her chest where he could hear the thud of her heart. She knew she wasn't supposed to do this, that she should be mad at him but for once she let her heart lead the way.
She rocked him comfortingly and slowly, their foreheads resting against each other. Their eyes were flooded with tears and he stared at her so intensely that her heart fluttered in her chest. He stared at her like she was the only thing that existed, like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Nobody else could make get feel as valuable or special as he could in a single glance. She almost wanted to melt in to it and let herself free back in to their old times.
He was scrambling tound in the endless labyrinth of her eyes, so lost in her eyes that he was going to crash his lips against her without a second thought.
But then images of her and gaurav flashed in his mind and suddenly as if horrifying reality had struck him in the face, he jumped away from her hands, holding his dizzy head.
"I'll go now." However hard he tried to hide the agony in his voice it was evident. "Sh*t. This was a mistake, I'm so sorry... I'll pack my stuff and leave as soon as possible... God. Avni... Honestly, I don't want to ruin the life you've made for yourself."
He tries to get up but winced painfully and stumbles as the injury becomes too much. Avni grabs him by the wrist and pulls him back on to the bed. She grips to his collar and her face is inches away from his. He is utterly lost in her eyes, he doesn't want to look away or even breathe, nothing that would break this moment.
"Until you recover, I'm not letting you go anywhere..." the moment was broken by her adorable whining, she puts the back of her hand on his forehead. "Look Neil tumhe itni theez bukhar hai... Mein yeh bandage karthi hu aur phir tum ko sona pageda... teek hai?"
She runs to get the first aid kit and he could hear her tears hit the plastic lid of the box as she ran back. She pryed away his bandage and then immediately looked away with closed eyes because of how sickening it really was, tears ran down her face because she just couldn't stand the amount of pain she could see him in in. She started wiping away the grimy blood on his wound, wincing when she thought it hurt him seeming that it hurt her more.
He was incapable of doing anything but admiring her, crying softly with a small smile. He watched the way she handled the wound with so much care, was so worried about his pain, the way she let him show the way he really felt. He oogled at her with so much pure admiration in his eyes, feeling the barricades around his emotions breaking down.
"Aaj tum hai mujhe sambhal ne ke liye... par kal? Kal mujhe itna dukh hogaya tho? Kal tum hogi meri saath?"
The sudden question suprised her, his weak pleading voice breaking her. The horror of his words, the deep sadness behind them, the heaviness of his heart, the hurt in his eyes, it all silenced her.
'This wasn't how it was all meant to turn out. We were meant to have been together forever, our love and respect blossoming. Where did it all go wrong?' She thought.
She didn't know what to say, she didn't know whether anything she could say could comfort him. Why did it go wrong?Was it his mistrust in her, that misfortunate day? Or... or did she never deserve that happiness? Did she just come in to his life and leave after robbing all the happiness away from it?
"kal... Kal ka kuch barosa nahi hai"
"Hai na?" When there was no reply her heart raced a little in worry. "Neil?"
She glanced up and couldn't help the enormous smile that broke out on her face as she saw him. He had dozed off with his head resting on the headboard, his nose tinged pink from cries, his hair tossled cutely and a small adorable content smile etched on to his face. Here he looked so peaceful, so like her old Neil. The creases of worry that scattered his face had dissipated, he looked younger, more in love with his life. Less lonely.
She grinned to herself as she made him lie in the bed, arranging the pillows comfortably around him and tucking him in to the blanket. She placed tablets and a water on the bedside table incase he woke up to an even worse fever.
She watched him admiring sweet smile and couldn't hold back from leaning down and planting her lips against his skin and pecking his forehead. A soft touch that conveyed so very much.
She suddenly pulled back like she had sinned direly. How did this happen again and again? He had hurt her so badly , and the circumstances were as such that someone in her place wouldn't even imagine sitting and doing what she was. Then how could she always lose herself in him? Lose track of time and place and how everything had changed? It was so wrong. Her eyes filled and she rubbed visciously at her raw face, she stood and turned to leave. She couldn't let herself do this.
She felt a tugging at her arm stopping her from leaving, she looked round in confusion. Her lips wobbled with silent cries as she saw her sleeping Neil frowning innocently and pulling at her hand and mumbling. It was incoherent and jumbled but she could make small bits out.
"Avni, mat- mat ja...- Dhar- Dhar lag raha hai-- mat- ja... Meri saath- mein kuch nahi- nahi hone dooga- hone dooga tumhe... meri saath... dhar... avni..." he was panicked and tossing and turning in his sleep, his eyebrows furrowed.
She sat back down in concern, perched beside him. She gently stroked his hair while she shushed him softly, letting him carrying on gripping to her hand tightly. Her tears dripped on to his skin and ran down on to the bed. She watched over him until his breathing settled just like she used to in the old times, she treasured his child-like innocence because she couldn't be sure that she'd ever witness it again and it meant everything to her. He, though she tried to hate him for the pain he had given her, was her everything.
...
"What was that?" Gavrav had a raging fire in his eyes as he approached her. "I said... WHAT. WAS. THAT?!"
She tried to seem strong and brave but cowered under the heat of his fiery breath. His eyes were screaming bloody murder and she was terrified.
"Whatever happens to him why the hell do you give a damn huh!? You are mine, don't you get it?!" He pulled her hair roughly, pulling a screech out of her throat and tears down her cheeks.
"I just- i" She squeezed her eyes shut as she trembled, her heart pounding like crazy.
"You are mine!" She stumbled back at the volume of his bellow, her eyes raw with fear. "How could you run around with other men when you are Mine!? Why did you show him so much concern!? Do you show me that much concern!? Do you?! Come on!? Answer me! Do you!?"
"I don't- I don't know" she whispered meekly, her voice drowning in cries.
"You don't." There was one second of terrifying silence before he slapped her round the face harshly, leaving a bright red mark and her mouth as an o.
"You don't you sl*t!" he screeched in to her face grabbing her wrist in a hold that bruised it. "You don't you bl**dy sl*t... you sickening sl*t! " he slapped her other cheek. "i thought i had told you what would happen if you ever did this again... didn't I warn you?!"
"Please..." she begged quietly, the fear in her eyes were so different to the old Avni who used to fear so little.
He forced her hands above her head making her struggle in discomfort, he ran his nose down her neck in to the nook above her collarbone as the stiff tension and disgust rose within her as he smirked. He then suddenly bit violently in to her neck as he traced his hands down her body in a filthy way, making her cry out in pain and shock.
"Neil! Please..." She called out desperately automatically, sobbing helplessly. All she begged for was his arms to hide in like a shield of protection.
Gaurav covered her mouth furiously as she hyperventilated in panic, her eyes squeezed shut.
...
Neil shot up in with a worried frown and sweat dripping down his nape. His fever was burning through him and he acknowledged the medicine she had placed out for him and it warmed him inside but... there was this intangible fear on his tongue, he could sense some trouble, he sensed his avni was frightened and in danger.
He rushed up and was about to run when the sounds stopped him still. There were huge clatters and angry smashes coming from downstairs, his heart jumping frantically. His eyes glassed over in fear and concern as he sprinted downstairs.
The door was locked, he pounded desperately against the door the terror building inside him.
Gaurav's eyes widened at the knocking, looking angrily in to her eyes.
"This is your fault," he seethed, his spit spraying across her face. " you can't keep your mouth shut. Now go, neaten up and talk to your stupid ex"
She almost cried in relief as he let go of his iron paining grip on her arm, she neatened her hair hastily and wiped a hand over the tears that littered her face. She took deep breaths to calm herself, she didn't want to drag him in to this. This was her problem, not his. It was never his problem.
Gaurav had already left through back door in to the living room as avni went to open the door and tenacid smile forced upon her face.
Neil's mouth gaped open in relief and shock seeing her stand with a confused smile on her face. He panted crazily, as if his breath had been finally returned to him.
"Neil?" She intoned her voice like a question, as if she was confused why he would come there after hearing so much noise. "What are you doing here?"
"KYA MATLAB WHAT AM I DOING HERE!?" Neil screamed in anger that was fuelled by worry for her. " DID YOU REALISE HOW MUCH NOISE WAS THERE FROM UPSTAIRS?! You scared me to death... What's going on?!"
"What?" She tried to play it off with a casual smile but he didn't buy it, he had a police man's eye he could clearly see her shaken form. "What noise? Itne saal ke baad pagal hogaya Mr Khanna?"
"Please Avni. Mujhe bevakoof bane ki koshish mat karo... if nothing happened then explain where is all the mess in the room in from." He gulped back a huge sob of fear stuck in his throat as he noticed her eyes glazing over in terror and sadness. He wanted to take her frightened body in to his arms and cradle her softly... but she didn't want him.
She still smiled, now even wider. This. This killed him. He used to be the only one she used to show her weakness to, he was the one that she would come and cry to after hiding her pain behind her smile all day. That smile couldn't fool him. It was agony to see that now. She wouldn't speak the honesty to him that her eyes couldn't hide, it felt like she didn't trust him anymore.
"Koi cat aaya tha, wo hi tum suna hoga... mein usse bhaga rahi thi... ridiculous..." she dragged a distorted laugh up her throat that failed and sounded more like a pained gargle.
The tears flowed from his eyes freely as he felt the moment unbearable pain stabbed him like a dagger through the heart. His embarrassed eyes were shut tight as if he couldn't face her. He held the doorframe like he was going to fall over as it hit him again and again like whiplash.
"Mein ab itana paraiah hogaya avni? Mujh par barosa ithana thoot gaya? Don't you think I care anymore?" His voice was laced with sobs and all she wanted was to tell him but she couldn't, and she wished he'd stop talking so the words didn't keep trying to escape of the tip of her tongue. "Wont you tell me whats wrong?"
His eyes were begging, pleading for mercy. He took her hands in to his and grabbed them helplessly.
"Wont you tell me Avni? Tumhara Neil sab kuch teek karunga... promise... pakka promise... please... mujhe itana mat dharao..."
He cupped her cheek, stroking her face gently, trying to speak to her by meeting her eyes with his. He knew his eyes showed his guilt, shame and repentance of his past and his love of forever much better than his words could express. Her hands itched to wipe away the tears that trailed down his cheeks.
"Mein abhi bhi Tumhara Neil hi hu Avni... promise... mein jhanti hu mein jo kia wo... wo maafi ki layak nahi hai par please tum jo chaao wo kar sakthi hu par please don't steal away my right to protect you, dont let me watch you destroy yourself in danger and not let me save you... please avni... bas yeh ek cheez mat karo..."
Her lips shivered and she trembled, her arms coming up to cover her chest as if she was cold when the room was extremely hot. She looked to the floor afraid of what she would admit if she let herself fall in to the trap of his golden brown orbs.
"Mujhe ek billi ki saath akele saamna karna aati hai... itini dramatic hone ki koi zarowath nahi hai Mr Khanna" And she made that fractured laugh again.
A utterly broken expression of complete defeat crossed his face and thats when she really realised how much she had hurt him. He felt like a failure to himself. A failure at being a friend, a husband, a lover, at being Avni's. The only thing he's ever wanted to be. For one moment all hope was lost.
"Okay... yeah... that was over dramatic," his voice was barely audible as was his attempt at a laugh, he couldn't bring himself to speak anymore. "Sorry, next time I'll try not to be so intrusive on your life Mrs Avni Gaurav Dewaan."
Her heart broke as she watched him walk away with his head hung low and in dredging sobs of a shattered soul. Their love hadn't weakened, if anything its the strongest its ever been. It was the distance of misunderstanding that was torturing them both.
...
Neil was about to try Neela ma's number but thought better of it even in this frantic state. He fell in to the bed in cries, hiding his face in his hands. For once in his life, he was at a dead end, pain and darkness which ever way he turned. He was scared and alone. Broken and hurt. But the pain he felt was not his own, he felt the most pain in the feeling that he knew she was in pain. Her pain is what hurt the most.
He watched the moon, and revelled in the silence of the night for a second. Remembering how he used to always watch Avni find solitude in the Moon, finding the things she had lost in the sky. The moon was beautiful, the white evanescence was like a lullaby to his soul, but nothing was more beautiful than his avni. And nothing ever would be.
"Today I don't know who to turn to Maa..." His whispered in to the sky, his eyes softening in vulnerability. "Aur mein jhanti hu ki yeh bohot bad manners hai... bus problem hone ki time aapse baat karne ki... par Avni has told me how beautiful you were. With a eye catching smile, a blazingly independent attitude and most importantly a beautiful, beautiful heart... But you lost yourself in love, you let it ruin you, instead of letting it complete you... you let it consume you.
Par maa, i dont blame you... there is something so wonderful about losing yourself in your lover. However painful it is, its that you love the person so much that there is absolute pleasure in giving up your soul for them..." his eyes darkened now, pain of regret settling over them.
"Par 5 saal pehele mein ek bohot badi galti ki thi, seeing those photographs... i was just so blindingly angry- but that was never an excuse- and now... now I can't take it back" Here he sobbed like a child who was cuddling to their mother, his body tremoring and head hiding on his folded arms. "I can't make it better. Aur ab meri Avni, itni dara hua hai, itni dukhee hai... aur mujhe nahi bata raha hai maa... please batao kya karu mein... kitana dukh hota hai jab uska aankhon mein dard aur dhar dekthi hu... mujhe seh nahi parahah hai..." he collected himself with heavy breaths, wiping his face and trying to smile a little.
"Mere liye ek bus ek cheez kar sakthi hu maa? Aaj Avni dara hua hai, akele hai... mujhe nahi jhanta kyu par... please... yeh saame mein jab mein uske saath nahi ho please aap uske saath raho, uska khyaal rhako... please Ayesha ma..."
...
Avni sobbed loudly crouched over as if protecting herself, hugging Neil's black shirt close to her heart. She kissed the shirt repeatedly in a hopeless attempt of seeking forgivingness and comfort. She whispered his name desperately again and again as if he could hear her, reach out to her, take her in to his arms. Where all this pain... physical and mental would dissolve away in to nothing.
Suddenly winds sounded loudly from outside the window, rustling through the leaves outside. A tiny bit of peace flew through her as it felt like a presence, a presence of ayesha maa...
"Maa..." she breathed out. "Aaj initini bin baad aap wapas agaya... for many days i have not felt your warmth and tranquility... aisa lagtha hai ki koi ne aap ko manaya hai wapas aane ke liye..." she laughed a little.
She was a little calmer, the moonlight touching her face felt a little like the way Neil would pepper her face with kisses. For a few minutes she just let herself sit in the silence, the light embracing her and letting her cries out fully. Just for a second she felt loved, as if somebody was praying for her.
All she wanted was Neil's comfort, the safety she felt with him beside her. Safety she never felt anymore. Now she had to be 24/7 alert, living and breathing just for her child.
Her cuts were stinging and she felt used and betrayed, the grimy feeling returning to her. She pulled herself up and and pulled out a first aid kit. She started dressing her wounds when the door creaked open.
Her huge smile returned to her face just at the sight of him. Her Nishaan, her life and reason stood in the doorway watching her in worry.
"Mumma?" Concern disoriented his voice which was cute and wispy. "Choot kaisa laga aapko?"
Avni kept the facade on her face, a huge smile, but her eyes glassed over.
"Oh... aaj Nishaan ek badi wali billi aaya tha... aur mumma ko ek superhero ki tarah usko bhagane padada..."
He frowned so hard he looked like he was on the verge of crying.
"Stupid billi!"
"Nishaan?" Her heart sped at his expression.
"Wo billi kyu meri mumma ko dukhaya... i hate it! Mumma bohot bohot dard hogaya?!" He rushed to jumping on to the bed and scanning her wounds. She smiled tenderly, tears leaving her eyes as she fondled with his hair seeing his love.
"Nahi baby bilkhul teek hu mumma... mein bus iska first aid karke phir tumhe sola dethi hu..."
"Nahi mumma... aaj mein aapki first aid karthi hu... aaj mein dekha tha kaisi karni hai jab wo aacha uncle mera first aid kiya tha..."
"Tumhara first aid!?" Fear exploded like dynamite in her eyes as she checked each part of him in paranoia. "Kya hua tha!?"
"Mein bilkul teek hu... i just got a tiny tiny cut on my knee..." she checked and only sighed in relief when she saw it was fine. "Ek very kind uncle tha... wo bohot bohot accha tha... wo mera madat kiya.."
She smiled gently, pushing away the hair on his face as she admired the happiness that appeared on his face as he talked about this man. "Accha? Aur wo kya kiya?"
"Wo mera choot saaf kar diya aur bandage kar diya... aur maa wo bohot handsome tha aur strong aur smart... bilkhul ek hero ki tarah thi wo maa"
"Hmmm? Really?" She sounded bemused at his fascination.
"Haan mumma... jab mein bada hoga mein bilkhul us uncle ki tarah hoga..." he smiled excitedly and her eyes watered in pride, patting his cheek but her smile was sad. All she wanted was him to become like his father. Moral, righteous, kind and loving, loving in the way that he gave all of himself to those he loved.
"Okay mein bilkhul uski tarah ab aap ka choot saaf kardegi teek hai mumma?"
She nodded in bewilderment. He dabbed at her wounds, his eyebrows knitted together and his tongue sticking out adorably in concentration. She cried quietly, he looked exactly like his father doing exactly what his father used to do. The same concern and love was in his eyes, and he was so lovingly careful not to hurt her and his eyes clouded at pain in her pain just like Neil used to behave. It was like Neil was actually there tending to her wound, blowing it gently and reminding her with worried anger that she should be more careful again and again.
She closed her pained eyes.
"Aw mumma... please mumma mat roh..." A crying Nishaan in distress at his mother's tears, wiped them away. His eyes were raging as he tumbled on to her lap and cuddled to her. "Mein us stupid billi ki saath ladenga aap ki liye... promise mumma... mein uss billi ko ya koi aur ko aapko choot paunchane nahi doonga."
She hugged him tightly to her chest, stroking him preciously, resting her chin on his head. She remembered the similar promises that his father had made to her, all of which were lying broken in front of her eyes. Yet she smiled, planting a kiss on Nishaan's head.
"I know baby... I know... par ab tum bohot chota hu... ab yeh sab aapka kaam nahi hai. Tum bus school jaake acchi si padai karo. " in the next lines determination blazed in her eyes, the steely strength of a mother. "Meri kaam hai tumhe dekh lene ki liye aur kush aur surakshit rakne ke liye. Chaiye kuch bhi ho."
CID
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
