Chapter 59
Bani just watched everyone she had called family engulfed into flames. Veer. Sam. Vanshika. Aishwarya. Amar. Mayank. In a moment, everything that she had was gone. She fell down at the shock of it. Kushal held her.
“Dadu… w..woh….” Bani didn’t know what to say. Everything was up in flames. Kushal held her close to him as tears fell down his eyes. Bani just couldn’t accept that all of them were gone in the flames.
Right as she was watching, all of it was taken up into flames. It was bad as a forest fire. Aditi had already collapsed. Shreya was still in shock. All of her children were gone. She had already lost a son before. Now, her other son and daughter were gone. Tears fell down her face. All she had was intense pain.
Yet, none of them compared to what Bani had felt. The love of her life was gone. The one she had come to love as her own brother was gone. Her sister was gone. Her aunt was gone. Her uncle was gone.
“Dadu…” Kushal just held Bani. She almost tried to get herself free and ran ahead into the fire.
“Nahi, baccha, nahi….” Kushal stopped.
“Dadu, mera toh sabh kuch jal chuka hai. Abh main bhi jal jaau toh kya fark padega?” Bani shouted. Bela didn’t even know what to say. The naagmani could bet taken back once the flames were doused because even that intense heat wouldn’t do anything to naagmani. Yet, here the loss was too much.
“Bani…” Bani turned around to see Tapish, Balwant, Pawan and Ponky.
“Tapish bhai… w…woh Veer….” Bani just broke into tears. Tapish walked to her.
“Jaanta hun, Bani.” He hugged her. Bani broke into tears as he hugged her. He caressed her hair.
“Tapish bhai, please. Mujhe bhi jaane dijiye…” Bani cried.
“Nahi, Bani, nahi… Veer kabhi nahi chahega ki tum aisa kuch karo.” Tapish stopped.
“Veer hi nahi hai toh uski baton ka koi matlab nahi hai.” She complained.
“Chalo…” Tapish started taking her back. Bani kept trying to struggle and get to Veer but Tapish held her tight. All the way back, she just kept crying. All the Singhanias were sad. There was pain and breaking on the inside but the cheel inside them was more accepting to death. The truth of the life that one who has been born has to die someday. That truth is taught to them everyday in the burning grounds. But to Bani? No. That wasn’t how she grew up. Balwant turned around to see her.
He had seen her in such rage that it would shake the grounds itself. He had seen her covered in blood. He had seen her show her power and dominance. He had seen her courage and temper. This Bani wasn’t someone he thought he’d see. She was crying, broken down. That image of flames taking over the place at once wouldn’t wipe out of her eyes.
“Bas, Bani. Stop crying.” Balwant told her.
There were tears earlier as well. When she thought she was losing Veer, she was crying but it wasn’t the same. She still had grace while crying. Now, she had broken down completely. Tapish didn’t say anything but just let Bani cry on his shoulder. She just couldn’t gather herself together. She couldn’t stand as the proud Adi-Naagin. In a flash, all of her pride was wiped away. All the way back to Cheel Mansion, Bani had been crying. She passed out with crying.
Tapish picked her up. Meera had already showed up at the Mansion when Tapish called her. Tapish put Bani in her room.
“Tapish?”
“Meera, Bani ke kapde change kar dogi. Wahan cupboard mein hai.”
Meera nodded. Tapish went out and let Meera change Bani’s clothes.
Balwant, Tapish, Daksh, Ponky and Pawan sat by the dining table. The usually chattering morning was utterly silent now. Both the people who caused most of the noise in the house were gone. The pain and loss were definitely there in their hearts but they knew that it was a truth they had to accept.
“Veeranshu…” Bani came down running. She seemed shaken. Bare feet as she had got off the bed, Bani tried to run off ahead. Tapish was quick to action and stopped Bani. “Tapish bhai, please mujhe jaane dijiye. Nahi… please…” Bani tried to go.
“Bani, bas… kuch nahi hoga. Veer mar chuka hai. Hum mein se koi kuch nahi kar sakta.” Tapish tried to tell her. Bani fell silent at that. Tapish made her sit at the dining table.
“Kuch kha lijiye.” Ramesh kaka put her favourite breakfast before. Ramesh kaka was aware of how the men in Singhania Family worked. They were very different and he had gotten accustomed to how they were. To him, they didn’t give off a human aura. Their behaviour wasn’t majorly human like. Their different understanding and different lifestyle kept giving him a reminder that they weren’t completely human. They only had half human side. He would get a sharp reminder of how he was human. In the years, he had grown to accept him and he had started to be like them as well. Then Bani came into the family and she reminded him that it wasn’t that bad to be human. Then he came across the truth that she wasn’t completely human herself but Ramesh kaka could see her as a human more than the cheels.
“Kha le, Bani.” Meera sat next to Bani. Bani started to eat.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Veer crashed into the chair next to him. He was in his tracks, west and hoodie jacket. His juice in his bottle.
“Good morning.” She said, with a dissatisfied look on her face. “Aaj ki morning definitely sirf tumhare liye accha hai. Aaj ka breakfast is boring.”
Veer chuckled. “Gharwali, tumhe pata hai na ki tum chaho toh har din apna favourite breakfast banwa sakti ho. Ramesh kaka bana denge.”
“Haan I know but you should have some special days to look up to. Aloo puri mujhe subeh subeh uthne ki wajah deta hai. Kharab breakfast ho toh utne ka man nahi karta. This makes me want to go back to bed.”
“How about I make it interesting?”
“Possibly can’t make it interesting.”
Veer fed her the breakfast with his hands. The way he looked at her would always get Bani to lose the train of her thoughts. She ate from his hands and suddenly the boring breakfast did seem better.
She had just managed to eat a bite and the spoon fell from her hand. She broke into tears. “Bani…” Meera held Bani and rubbed her arm. Bani held on to Meera and cried. She just couldn’t eat.
“Bhabhi, crying isn’t going to bring back Veer bhai. Please stop crying.” Daksh told her.
“Daksh…” Meera tried to get him to shut up.
“Kya? I’m not saying anything wrong. It is the truth. There is no way to bring back someone who is dead.”
“Daksh, sabh gusse mein apna dard nahi express karte. Kuch log roke express karte hai.” Tapish told Daksh. “Agar rone se dard kam hota hai toh rone do.”
“Seriously, Tapish bhai? Rone se dard kam ho jaayega? She’s lost her husband. Hardly dard kam hone waala tha. Honestly kahun toh shayad kabhi nahi hoga. So, rone ka matlab kya hai? Its only cause dehydration.” Daksh commented, slightly angry.
“Daksh, sabh teri tarah ho yeh zaroori nahi hai. Sabhko apni tarah se express karne ka haq hai.” Pawan told him.
“Adi-Naagin…” They turned around to see who the hell was suddenly disturbing them at this hour. At the door was a man. An aghori.
“Kon hai?” Balwant asked irritated.
“Main yahan sirf Adi-Naagin se baat karne aaya tha.”
“Kya chahte ho? Please abhi mujhe akela chod do.”
“Akela chod dun? Tum dard mein ho. Isiliye aaya tha.”
“Mera pati aur mera pariwaar mujhe dur ho gaya hai. Kya expect kar rahe the? Main party karun?”
Her pain was making her rude. Bani took a deep breath to calm down herself.
“Samajh sakta hun.”
“Nahi samajh sakte.”
“Marna zindagi ka sach hai.”
“Mere pati ko wapas laa sakte ho toh phir shayad mera dard kam ho jaayega.”
“Veeranshu ko wapas nahi laa sakta par uska ansh tumhe de sakta hun. Shayad uss bacche se hi tumhara dard kam ho jaaye.”
Bani looked up at the Aghori
“Main tumhe Virgin Mary banne mein interested lag rahi hun kya? Mujhe mera pati aur mera pariwar chahiye, baccha nahi. Mera pati mujhse dur ho gaya hai. Us hole ko koi baccha pura nahi kar sakta.”
Bani was irritated at the stupid suggestion. She wanted her husband. She wanted him back. Why the hell was he offering her a baby? She didn’t want a stupid baby. She wanted her husband. She wanted her Veeranshu. The love of her life. Her Aakesh. Her Veer.
Bani took a deep breath.
“Aghori baba, I’m really sorry. Par please mujhe akela chod dijiye. Mujhe koi baccha nahi chahiye. Mujhe mera pati chahiye jo mujhe koi nahi de sakta.”
Bani got up and left. She went to her room and closed the door behind her. She saw Veer’s jacket lying there. She took the jacket and hugged. She broke into tears with that. It even smelled like him.
“Mujhe chodke kaise chale gaye, Veer?” She cried. Every moment with him started to flash into her mind.
The way he always loved her. The way he teased her, troubled her. Their dancing.
“Pure time toh pyaar pyaar ke gun gaate rahe. Abh mujhe pyaar hua toh chale gaye.” She complained angrily. Her skin was still burning with her changing her snake skin but it was nothing compared to how much it was burning inside.
“Bani…” Tapish walked inside. He sat down on the floor next to her.
“Tapish bhai, itna bhi kya gussa ki chod ke hi chala gaya mujhe.” Bani complained. Tapish just held her.
“Tujhe kabhi gussa nahi ho sakta hai Veer. Jitna khud se pyaar karta tha usse zyaada tumse pyaar karta hai. Gussa nahi hai, Bani.”
“Usne mujhse kaha tha, Tapish bhai, ki humesha mere saath hi rahega. Phir aise chodke kaise chala gaya? Pyaar karta hai toh kyu mujhe aise rula raha hai.”
“Veer tujhe kabhi hurt nahi karna chahta, Bani. Agar uski kismet mein marna hi likha tha toh koi kya karta?”
“Yeh toh galat hai, Tapish bhai. Abhi abhi toh dheere dheere theek ho raha tha. Mujhe mera Veeranshu wapas mil raha tha aur use mujhse cheen liya. Bas abhi abhi toh pyaar ho raha tha. Aise kyu mujhse meri zindagi cheen li? Meri jaan hai woh.” Bani cried. She shook. “Aisa lagta hai ki shayad saans bhi lena mushkil hai. Har saans mein bas uski yaad aati thi. Meri aankhon ke saamne hi aag mein jal gaya.”
Tapish put her head on his shoulder. He couldn’t tell Bani not to cry. She had lost everything the meant so much to her.
“Aisa lagta hai ki sabh meri galti hai. Mujhe shayad use le jana hi nahi chahiye tha.” She cried.
“Nahi, Bani. Tumhari koi galti nahi hai. Tumhe kaise pata hota ki kya hoga? Veer humesha kehta tha ki tum aur Veer ek team. Toh saathi ko akele mushkil thodi na sehne dete hai.”
“Pagal wahi tha. Mandir mein marne ki baat kar raha tha. Tabhi yeh sabh hua hai. Kisne kaha tha use aisi cheezein kehne ki?”
Tapish looked at her. She was trying to find reasons as to why he had died. She just couldn’t explain to herself why he was killed like that. He rubbed her hair. Balwant knocked at the door. Bani looked up. Tapish stood up.
“Main aata hun.” Tapish went out. Balwant put the tray with food before her.
“Kuch kha lo, Bani. Subeh se shaam ho gayi hai. Kuch khaya hi nahi hai abhi tak tumne.” Balwant told her.
“Bhuk nahi hai.” Bani answered. It didn’t seem like the same Bani that Balwant knew. The Bani he knew was a lit fire match. Could be used to light up an lamp but can also cause an explosion. Her hair was a mess. She was a mess. He sat down next to her. He put the tray in his lap and fed her some food.
“Kha lo. Kabhi kabhi bhuk na ho phir bhi kha lena chahiye.”
“Kisi bhi cheez ka mann nahi hai.”
He made Bani eat some food. After a bit of insistence, Bani ate something and drink some water. Ramesh kaka took away the tray.
If there was anyone who could understand what Bani was going through, it was Balwant. The heartbreak she was feeling was familiar to him. He had seen the blood stained walls of the house. Blood pooled around Ishana. It was impossible to tell difference in the blood that came from her and the blood from the other dead bodies. Stab marks were way too many to be healed. Her yellow coloured kurti was covered in blood. She was long dead when he reached there. He saw the dead body lying there. She was sixteen weeks pregnant by then. Ishana insisted that the baby was a girl and kept telling Veer, Teer and Tapish that they were going to have a baby sister.
He wiped away Bani’s tears and brushed her hair.
“Dard itni jaldi nahi jaayega, Bani, yeh toh sach hai but people have to live on. We can’t break ourselves. People take birth every day and die every day. Today it was Veer, tomorrow it could someone else.”
“Shayad galti meri hai. Mujhe Veer ko apne saath nahi le jana chahiye tha. Tabh shayad Sam bhi nahi aata. Dono nahi marte.”
“Bani, agar marna hota toh tum jo bhi kar lo maut aa hi jaati. Mujhe bhi lagta tha ki agar main sabh kuch sambhal lun toh Ishana ki maut nahi hogi. Par usmein hi aur khatra ho gaya. Pehle bhi attacks hue the. Isi dar se use farmhouse mein rehne ko kaha. Us mein hi galti hui. Bas kuch der ke liye bahar gaya aur aake dekha ki Ishana is dead. Veer, teer, Tapish aur Daksh jungle mein chupe hue the. Chote se ghar mein kahan chupte? Isiliye Tapish unhe bahar jungle leke chala gaya. Abh mujhe batao, main kya kahun khud ko?”
Bani looked at him.
“Sabh kuch theek tha. Phir ek hi pal mein sabh kuch toot gaya.” She cried. “Kuch bhi accha nahi lagta hai abh toh.”
“Veer ki zindagi aisi hi hai, Bani. Ek pal kuch aur dusre pal hi unexpected. He’s always been rash.”
“Agar jaan leni thi toh meri le lete. Use kyu maara?”
“Har kisi ko zindagi mein sabh kuch nahi milta, Bani. Veer beta tha mera. Humesha se hi sabse zyaada pyaar usse kiya hai. Jitna shayad Tapish se bhi nahi tha utna pyaar tha Veer se. Puri zindagi use apni pakad mein rakhne ki koshish ki hai par humesha hi Veer apni manmarzi karta raha. Use koi kaabu nahi kar sakta hai. Har hadd se aage raha hai Veer. Na toh koi bandhish use rokti thi aur na ho koi darr use pareshaan karti thi. Par koi bhi zindagi aur maut ke hadd se aage nahi hota, Bani.”
Balwant brought a photo album. He started to show her the album.
“Yeh… Veer. Use pehli baar jab apne haathon mein pakda tha, bas tabse use sabhse zyaada pyaar kiya hai. Itna chota sa tha.” Balwant showed her a baby photo of Veer. He then showed her another photo. Veer was an year old. “Bachpan se hi tezz raha hai. Baby gates lagate toh use bhi kholna seekh liya tha.” Balwant laughed.
He showed a three year old Veer. Even as a baby, she could easily notice the familiarity. Bani chuckled. The way he stood unimpressed by forced outfit he was made to wear. School uniform. “Ishana bohot hi zyaada khush thi. Uske school ka pehla din. Veer ko kabhi pasand hi nahi aaya school. Kehta tha ki ‘Dad, school bohot boring hai. Saare bacche bas zor zor se awaaz karte rehte hai aur bas rote rehte hai.’ Sabse zyaada use irritate karta tha school uniform.”
So typical of Veer. He refused to let other dictate what he wants. Further ahead was a four year old Veer on a cycle.
“Cycle ki chain loose kardi kyuki use lagta tha ki cycle bohot slow jaa rahi hai.”
There were several other photos of him. She then saw a 6 year old Veer. Stitches on his head but he was still grinning like he won a medal or something. His cast had all kinds of stickers and doodles.
“Pehli baar jab woh uda tha. Bas thode se feet hawa mein uda aur phir neeche gira. Taanke lage aur haath toota par phir bhi. Uss pehle udne ki Khushi itni thi ki chahe hum jitni baar kahe usse ki ‘Veer, abhi mat udd. Abhi abhi haath toota hai.’ Nahi. Use to hudna hota tha. Ek baar udne ka chaska laga phir kabhi utra hi nahi.”
Bani saw the smile on Balwant’s face as he saw the photographs.
“Use kuch nahi rok sakta tha. Jitna bhi use kaho ki gaadi dheere chala, nahi sunta. Kabhi kisi aur ki sunne ki aadat nahi hai uski. Jo use karna hota hai wahi karta hai.”