And so the saga of the woman who walked with ethereal beauty continues...
In the midst of light, she looked for the spark that lighted her. The restlessness of Paro caused the burning candles overlook their pain of burning down, as they failed to understand why Paro wandered around like a lost soul. Little did the naive candles know that Devdas brings to life the light that Paro emanates to them.
She spotted her Dev who had dimmed in grief...
... and willingly gave away her luminosity to illuminate him. At this stage, Paro was well-versed with the essence of self-sacrificing love that required her to burn like a silent candle in lightning up his world. Lovers like Paro don't stop to think before embracing annihilation with a smiling face. She laughed at destiny who had the audacity to ask her, "Do you want to sacrifice yourself for him?" What was to become of the Paro who didn't pause to think for herself?
Life stood before her eyes, and it only needed embracing. But she lived in a society where she could have everything but the freedom to live. The society had given its verdict: She was the Paro who could not live in Devdas. But the verdict was passed a bit too late - Paro had already begun living in Devdas. Who was to be blamed? Paro who didn't choose to love Devdas? The society that remained rooted in traditions? Or destiny that was not designed to bring them together?
Paro lived in the moment she was given, in the moment Dev stood in front of her, as if she was not to see sunrise again. And so, breaking free from traps of traditions and shackles of promises, she ran to embrace him. After spending countless nights with beautiful but agonizing memories of Dev, she could finally touch, feel and relive those moments. Hence, she took herself to Dev like a fish to water. If heaven was to be found on earth, this was it, Paro had found it.
Apparently, it was too early for her to rejoice. The heaven she found was a mirage. Paro rejoiced in having just found life in heaven, but in proximity, she discovered that death had disguised as the stream of life. But no, she saw Dev before her. How could Dev pronounce her death sentence? How could he distance her from himself? Or how could life hand her over to death? Paro was not unfamiliar with the concept of death. In fact, if her entire lifespan could earn Dev another day of living, she would have been content with making the best trade. But how is she to understand Dev taking her to the gallows? How was the dying fish to react to the ocean that distanced itself denying her a single drop of water? Any other fish would at least curse the ocean, but Paro couldn't even do that. Dying for Dev was her goal in life, but dying by Dev was unfathomable to the puzzled eyes that failed to believe the truth of what they were witnessing.
Paro's eyes, carefully designed, were of extraordinary beauty. And so the obstinate tears subsisted in them even in the darkest nights she spent pinning for a reunion with her beloved miles away. But this time even the tear, a mere drop of liquid, found the pain too overwhelming to bear and so it exited the eye despite its desire to remain in it for eternity. As it rolled down her left eye, it made its last wish that part of it dries on her cheek so that it can cherish an everlasting fusion with Paro. How different was Devdas from this drop of tear? Did he not yearn for Paro to the same extent? And how great was Paro's pain to cause the tear's exit? Only she could tell us...
But she did not tell us, because her sole concern was to stop Devdas from leaving. Devdas was no longer Paro's mere beloved. He had transformed into her spiritual essence. No human's departure can have such an impact on another human. No woman can oppose a man's departure with such an obsession. No ordinary lover can beseech her beloved to stay longer with such desperation. But a human body can traverse any bounds to prevent its soul from departing, and thus Paro fell at his feet, clasped his hand and said it once more, "Don't go please."
Having been brutally betrayed by reality, Paro turned to the fantasy of dreams. Closing her eyes, she dreamt of the closeness and reunion she had been earnestly seeking for the past decades. What else could Paro dream of? Contrary to Paro who was content and pleased with closing her eyes, Devdas had kept his eyes open to reality. Perhaps he knew that despite all the beauty it can hold, a dream has the ruthless reality of being an illusion. A figment of her imagination could not become the reality of her life.
The dark clouds of reality soon began to penetrate the world of fantasy she had created by closing her eyes to the surrounding misery.
Only if she could never open her eyes again, but Paro had to wake up and step in the real world like every other sleeping person whose dream ultimately comes to an end. But she had the most grief-stricken awakening of all. The beautiful dream she just saw frightened her more than a terrifying nightmare, as she opened her eyes to its contrast. With Dev's firm determination to leave, there was no hope of their reunion. Still she held on to him, only to be rejected again. How could Devdas turn a deaf ear to her repeated pleas? How could he not hear her cries in pain? How could he loosen those hands clasped tightly to his coat? How could her only hope bring despair to her hopeful eyes? Why didn't he alter the treacherous conditions that were hampering her efforts of survival... are some of the questions that were neither asked by Paro nor answered by Devdas.
Even the diya she held could now notice Paro's dimming away... as Devdas turned his back to her.
But, how long would it take Paro to glow again if Devdas relented? And hence she walked to him with the diya in her hand to remind him that if it was still alight, so was the hope of his return.
As the hope of preventing his departure grew from grim to grimmer, Paro asked him to leave her in the prior state of her eyes fixed to the door once again. It was acceptable to the fish to drown in the ocean but not to suffocate to death on the sweltering sand. A mere ray of hope is all she jostled for, but even that was denied to her. It wasn't easy to make her hopeless, and Devdas knew he wouldn't return this time. So, he mustered the courage to extinguish the flame that she had kept alight for years before her very own eyes. Paro had watered, fed, sheltered and protected that diya for all these years with utmost tenderness and care. She had confronted and defeated every thunderstorm and every torrential monsoon that posed threat to its burning flame. And so she placed her hand beneath his hand in defiance, for she could not allow him to put an end to the only hope that breathed life into her. Perhaps this was the first and last time Paro had ever opposed Devdas.
But even her rebellion could not earn his mercy, because she was destined to face the most heinous trauma in the history of her life. Paro saw her world crumbling to dust, and there was nothing she could do: Devdas left and the flame died out.
Destiny could decide the conditions that surrounded Paro's life, but not the depth of her love for Devdas. In fact, even Paro was unaware of its depths, as she thought she could pay no heed to Dev's call. Her mind dictated, "Don't go," but her heart and limbs disobeyed, and so she ran to him.
Paro was devastated but still alive knowing that Devdas walked on the same earth as her. She could not be by his side, but she could pray for his well-being. Broken into pieces but still with a purpose to live, she told him, "Tum mujhe chod kar nahi jaa sakte. Mein pehle hi buhut toot chukee hoon. "
Paro never found fault in Devdas regardless of what he did; she always blamed herself, "Main tumhe kabhi samajh nahi saki. Aur ab jab samjhne lagi hoo to... haalaat hi kuch aise thay kay'" Not knowing the irony in her words then, she had warned Devdas that it might be too late when he comes back, but now she acknowledged, "maine aanay mein dair kardi." Devdas had given Paro such a wound that no other lover could wash away, "Kyonki, kyonki shaayad main apnay dard mein jee rahi thi. Aur jab bhi maine tumhare paas aanay ki koshish ki, us dard nay mujhe roka." But Paro was not just any lover, and so she forgave him in no time, "Par ab nahi, ab main aagayi hoo."
Paro and Devdas had the most ill-fated reunion. When she couldn't hold onto him, she had him. And now when he wouldn't walk away, she didn't have him. Ignorant of her incapability to breathe life into him, she said, "Ab main tumhe jaanay nahi doongi." In the history of mankind, destiny was never more cruel to anyone than Paro, as it gave her increase in nothing but torment.
And so the story ended with Dev's physical and Paro's spiritual death. Living with the merchant to whom she was married as a physical body with no soul, she could neither taste joy nor sorrow. Paro had petrified, because her grief had reached the point where she felt no pain. She could never light the candles again nor adorn the jewelry she wore. Even the darkest of the nights could not offer a covering for the grief that dwelled in her heart.
Such was the saga of a lover who had won every battle, yet lost the war.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkEdm56-_qQ[/YOUTUBE]
Edited by Sonya1986 - 15 years ago
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