It's always darkest before dawn - Page 7

Originally posted by: DiyaS

Originally posted by: DiyaS

The current Samrat Gunjan track is THE most serious track in MJHT ... for those who feel that this doesn't belong in a youth show, I'd just like to say that RTA's - Road Traffic accidents - are the leading cause of death in young people in many countries the world over.
This post is for those people who have experienced loss in their own lives ... I saw some posts in the forum which touched me deeply, and I too, have been touched by young deaths among family and friends more than once. The pain never completely goes away.

The Psychology of death - six stages of grief

Shock - a feeling of numbness, disbelief, unreality ... as though looking at the death through an invisible glass pane, insulated from the feelings surrounding it.

Denial - not accepting that the death has taken place, hoping it is just a bad dream and when you wake up, everything will be 'normal'. Until this phase is passed, and the fact of death is accepted, healing cannot start.

Anger - Why did this happen? It's not fair. Associated feelings - guilt, blame, both self-blame - if I hadn't done this, he/she would still be alive. Or blaming someone else - family, doctors, God ... Anger also against the world in general - how can the world go about their business when this has happened, how dare anyone else be happy when my world has come crumbling down ...

Mourning - the longest phase, can last for years, associated with periods of depression, crying for no apparent reason, continued feeling of guilt, loneliness.

Recovery - the final phase. Some people say this never completely happens. One never completely recovers from a death of a loved one. It brings a lasting change, and the pain never completely goes away. One never forgets a loved one. But at some point we re-establish our lives and move ahead, and the pain can be subdued and hidden. It will still surface at odd moments, but it stops taking over our lives and allows us to carry on living, even allows us to find happiness again.

MJHT

Mayank - of the three affected, he is closest to recovery. Maybe because he lost only one person, his wife. Maybe because he has the happiest memories of their time together. Maybe because his feelings are not tinged with guilt, or not as much as the other two's are. He will always mourn, but he is prepared to forgive and move on. Especially as he sees the true penitence of Samrat and the hell he is living in.

Gunjan - stuck in a place between denial and anger. She doesn't want to believe that her sister is no longer there. And she is angry ... she feels Nups' death was avoidable, had Samrat listened to her. Her anger and her grief find an outlet in blame ... it is easier to blame Samrat for what happened, to think that her sister could have survived IF ... because if she gives way to her grief, she will collapse. She knows that Nupur is gone, but she needs someone to blame still. She is most in need of her own counselling, because she hasn't allowed herself to accept the reality of Nupur's death. Or allowed herself to grieve fully. Until she forgives Samrat, she will never heal. And because she is angry, she is punishing him in the way she know will hurt him the most - by staying away from him. He killed her sister, she is killing him - slowly.

The only way I see her healing is either by letting go of her emotions completely, by breaking down which she hasn't let herself do so far and by accepting that it was Nups' time to go ... Samrat was just the medium. The Hindu philosophy of death really does help at times like this.
Or ... more dramatic ... if Samrat dies, or attempts to kill himself, and she is stricken by the same guilt that he has been living with - that she caused his death as surely as she feels he caused Nupur's. If she goes through what he went through when she was hit by the bullet and knows what it would be like to lose him forever. And suffer the guilt pangs of that on her conscience forever.
At the moment, she knows he loves her, she knows also that her feelings for him are a mixture, a confused morass of love and hate. And intertwined - her own guilt, could she have stopped it? Could she have insisted more that Samrat slow down, could she have done anything which might have saved Nupur?

But what if it had been the other way around? What if Samrat had died in that accident? Who would she have blamed? Her sister and Mayank - for making him take that drive to the airport? For urging him to drive fast? Blame and guilt won't bring Nupur back ... they will only make the lives of the rest a living death. And until Gunjan realises this, she and Samrat can never get back together, she can never get back to living.

Samrat - his feelings have been shown - nothing more to add. He is in mourning, in a self-created hell of guilt and self-blame, a hell which just deepened with the realisation of Gunjan's hate. At one stroke he lost his love, his best friend, and a girl who was both friend and family. Triple loss, no support. He can't heal till both Mayank and Gunjan forgive him - Mayank has started, but when will Gunjan?

Tough track, no easy answers. I can see how Mayank and Samrat can heal ... but Gunjan?

Beautiful post Diya and everyone else as well. Don't really know what to say after reading all your posts.

On one hand I know that this is just a fictional show but on the other hand the current track itself reflects reality so much that it's impossible not to blend the two.

Coping up with the death of a loved one is so painful in itself but it becomes so much harder when it involves survivor's guilt as well. Why did she die? Why couldn't I save her? Why couldn't it be me instead of her? And this is exactly what all three of them are going through.

Mayank lost his wife, his life, the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with. In just a fraction of a second all his dreams shattered to pieces and he couldn't even do anything about it. He feels guilty too, guilty because he couldn't do anything to stop it, because he couldn't do anything to save her, because it was her and not him. If he will be able to forgive Samrat, it will be both because he blames himself too and because Nupur would have done that. Because Nupur is still the hope in his life and it's her memories that make him live through each day. He lives life the way she would have, or maybe the way she would have wanted him to.

Gunjan. That day, she lost Nupur, her sister, her mother and in some ways her father too [judging from that hospital scene b/w Nupur-Bauji when Gunjan was shot]. One moment in her life that took everything from her. How could she even imagine her life without Nupur? How could she live without Nupur? Every single day she wakes up with the grief of not having Nupur in her life. And it's so much "easier" to put the blame on Samrat then to acknowledge the fact that NOTHING could save Nupur that day. If he had listened to her, she would have been alive today. Why didn't he listen to her? Why didn't she insist harder? Why wasn't he careful? Why was it Nupur? It isn't a battle of her mind versus her heart this time, it's a battle of her heart versus her heart. A battle that kills her every single day and she tries to avoid this turmoil within her by counseling others. Gunjan needs to accept that no matter what would have happened that day, Nupur would have died. That's destiny. But more than anything else, she needs to break down. She lives her life with a smile, hiding her own pain. She runs away from Samrat, from herself, hiding her pain. She just needs to face it. And maybe then she will really begin to recover.

And for Samrat, it's not just the pain of losing Nupur, and Mayank and Gunjan, but guilt as well. He's going through the worst survivor's guilt. Why was it her and not him that died? Why is he alive after killing his friend, after being the cause behind Mayank and Gunjan's pain? Why couldn't he have been just a little more careful that day? Why did she have to suffer for his mistake? Why did Mayank and Gunjan have to suffer for his mistake? He believes he is the reason behind everything. He didn't just lose his friends and soulmate, he lost everything. His friends have always been his family and HE is the reason behind his friend's death. And this pain, this guilt within him kills him every "living" moment of his life.

There's no real moving on for any of them. Because Nupur's death has created a void in their lives which can never be filled. And it may just be "easier" to blame one another, or oneself, then to accept that what happened was destiny. But they need to accept it, and maybe then they will really be able to live life again.

Originally posted by: sonali.19281

Nice post as usual...n m sure it evoked a good discussion...I dont want to write too much on the way the characters have reacted to it..and what phase they r in...or whose pain is more unbearable... all I can say is when you witness death from such close quarters.. and face a loss of a close one suddenly..with each such incident a part of you dies too..you look for answers for a long time without getting any...some turn spiritual..some resign it to fate just for sake of sanity...some just shut tht part from their life..and move on without trying to confront tht truth...everyone looks for hope and that's the beauty of LIFE....you do end up getting it in some form or the other...

About RTAs..its true its one of the highest cause of death among youth and quite rampant..In fact I lost a friend in an accident at 21..we friends witnessed the incident n the aftermath...we stuck to each other...just to deal with this harsh reality..to stand for any of us that fell weak in that hour.. but this incident changed all of us..none of us were the same...I for one wished I could change somethings before..

My aunt lost her husband and older daughter to a chopper crash right in front of her eyes..she was a singer who gave up on her singing..became a stone but carried on for the sake of her younger daughter...my cousin.. after 10 yrs her well wishers n friends convinced her to resume her career..she did n people say there is this uncanny pain n maturity in her voice that found immense recognition..till date I have never seen a stronger woman..she still recalls the past fondly.. but I feel there is a part of her that is still grieving..n looking for answers

I can in fact for once even relate to samrat's pain..n guilt...even when one is not directly involved one can't stop blaming oneself at the mere prospect of could I have saved that person...and the sad part is there are no answers..n there never will be...at some point you have to make peace with it..or like i said shut if off n move on...move away from the environment that reminds you of it each day..it depends on the personality again..thats why I said I was intrigued to see how each of them handled the harsh reality...

Originally posted by: princessyashika

gosh guys u always make me go crazzy over sg posts...aahana,sonali,ayesha mads...and all u guys wonderful replies...👏...and diya thnx soooooooooooo much for this wonderful post hun..luv ya...!!! 🤗
as far as my take is concerned guys i think yesterday ash said a line for sam..."he cant live like this for long"..in my view the same not only holds gud for sam but for gunjan too.and as the topic of the post says diya....we actually have reached the darkest part of the night...nothing can be more painful..nothing can be more tearing for both of them...and what now nears is the dawn. but whats important is that sam and gunjan can only reach this dawn with each other's support(along with mayank).bcoz they are the very reasons of each other's pain.
though i always thought that its just sam who needs gunjan's support to come out of this trauma...but reading aahana's post...i so agree that even gunjan too has buried inside her all the pain.she really needs to cry and let all her pain out...else just like sam even she wont be able to survive like this.and surely sam can be the one to help her out...!!! i wish they had used nupur's imagination part for gunjan as well...coz somehow its nupur only who can make gunjan realize that what all mayank and gunjan are doing 2 sam n to themselves...wont be of any help...she is the only one who can reunite the three of them. their minds have been preoccupied with the fact that nupur died of samrat ...but its only nupur....the one who actually died...who can explain to them that it wasnt anyone's fault but a fate of destiny.

okk guys...one more thing than my take...pls do read my os on the current track...saying so coz somehow i found that whatever points have been written over here...i managed to include a few of them.wont say that its very gud...but pls do try.😊

Originally posted by: mjhtkifan

Superb post yaar👏 Very well said and I agree with every line in your post! As you said Gunjan is still in state of hatred and denial and will take the longest to recover. Samrat's state will improve or worsen all depending on the reaction of Majan......they are the only ones who can remove the sense of guilt and lonliness from him! Yes they all have lost Nupur, a very integral part of all their lives but I think it is Samrat who is affected the most, he has not only lost a dear friend and relative but also his best buddy and love and is constantly tormented by the feeling of guilt, regret, remorse, hatred, unhappiness cause they were his only reason for existance and only souce of happiness!