#3 ~FF: Untold Stories~ - Page 5

Oh no !! 5 chapters ?!!!! 😲 😭😭 *bangs head*

Originally posted by: Katniss07

Oh no !! 5 chapters ?!!!! 😲 😭😭 *bangs head*

LM , yeh pakda-pakdi kyun ?? 😔 😔 sorry in advance as I'm gonna be very late this time (literally) , everything is running away from me , time , studies and then your chapters ... 😭 😭 😭

BTW congratulations for the hat-trick 🥳 🤗 ⭐️ ❤️ , keep writing !!!

I'll try to review soon...😊

Epistle 49: The Light of Freedom

A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D

Happy Reading! :D :D

11th October, 2004:

Why is everyone intently hell bent on driving me mad?

Ishaani, Love, the house members, my studies... everything! Damn it, everything's just getting bad to worse every day and my head feels like it's going to explode! Were the days less of a torture for me that Love needed to start her mystery box lessons in the night as well? God, just kill me rather than this insane madness every day! This is becoming too idiotic right now.

Well, I'll just tell you what happened.

So, as has been the new trend since the past three months and a half, my nightmares have started blending in with my dreams about Love. It starts off with memories from the incidents at school, suddenly merging with my dreams about Love. And it's the same desert with the sweltering heat every day that nearly kills me.

But tonight... it's different.

Tonight, my dream merges into the same misty forest I run into every time during my escapades. Oh, it's a heavenly, heavenly sight - something I cannot even begin to describe in words. It's all so... tranquil around me - the gushing water splashing playfully against the rocks, the cool, green, cloudy shades of the dense foliage and trees around me, the cool cacophony of the winds... Everything is so... sublime.

Yet there's a desperation in the air that I cannot dispel.

I'm bound to a tree today, but the bonds don't matter because somehow, I seem to have good control upon them. I realized that I'm lightly clothed this time, not suffocating like the previous encounters. Yet my shoulders hurt terribly, making my head droop in pain. The burden was too much. I sighed as a tear escapes my eye without any reason and in that exact moment, I see a figure descend out of the corner of my eye.

Love stood before me tonight in pearl-coloured robes that glistened magnificently in the golden sun, her beauty blinding me completely so that even without any mist, her face still remained a mystery to me. She covered the distance between us as I shut my eyes against the offending, reflecting light, but it soon disappeared to leave behind a plain mist. The invisible barrier between us was there as usual.

And Love broke through it, as usual again.

"This will be our last encounter tonight, Ranveer," she spoke, her voice so soft that it made my breath cease. She caressed my cheeks with the most loving of touches while I stared at her, heart-broken.

"Why?" I asked her, hearing a sudden thunder in the distance. The sun was suddenly replaced by grey clouds, looking like it would rain heavily any minute.

"Because you're ready to let go," she replied back, and I felt a lump rise up my throat.

"Let go of what?" I questioned her, a strange fear warped around my heart now. I felt the bonds grow tight around my limbs but it did not matter for suddenly, Love's eyes were visible to me. They were charcoal black.

"Everything," she replied, giving me a soft smile. "You're been tied up for too long. You've been burdened for too long. It's time to let go."

"What if I like being this way?" I asked her suddenly, not knowing where the question came from.

I did not even realize up until that moment that somewhere deep, deep down, in spite of the pain the bonds and my shoulders would give me, I enjoyed it to a certain extent. I liked it, because the pain gave me a sense of purpose, a sense of being alive.

"Then you'll be bound for life," replied Love, her tone bemused. "There's no wiser man that he who knows how to severe away the bonds tying him down," she added, and I stared at her defiantly.

"But don't the bonds define who we are?" I challenged her, surprising myself. Damn it, where were the questions coming from? Was this my unconscious mind, subconscience or my superconscience? I was clearly reading too much.

"The bonds define how much in control of yourself you are, Ranveer," she told me, now eyeing me curiously.

"Maybe I don't want to be in control," I exclaimed, suddenly feeling a recklessness I didn't recognize earlier. For a moment, my surroundings resembled those I'd seen on the misty moor before I jumped off. But I'd barely come to this uncertain conclusion when my environment returned back to the forest.

"Maybe you aren't..." she remarked. I looked at her, bewildered. Love is an enigma I was never meant to solve, I'm certain now.

"You haven't found a solution to your nightmares now, have you?" she asked me suddenly after a few moments, her tone now conversational. And needless to say, her question did catch me off-guard.

"I was waiting for-"

"Me to give you a solution, like always?" she completed for me, and I felt my cheeks grow warm in shame.

"Hey, you've never given me a solution out of any of the situations!" I retorted defensively while she now laughed at my helplessness. It was definitely unnerving.

"I have given you the situation. The solution finds its way once you know your situation," she said finally, her eyes penetrating my soul with an intensity that made me shiver.

I shut my mind as all the images from my nightmares replayed until I was left with only three burning senses - remorse in my eyes, desperation tingling in my limbs and ego burning in my heart like poison burning through a gaping hole. I suddenly felt weak, tears brimming up my eyes as the clouds thundered ominously. The rain begun its slow descend.

"You say that this is our last meeting for now, right? Then give me the situation," I asked of her after some time, my voice now heavy.

I wanted to get rid of the nightmare once and for all. I had to. The bonds didn't hurt me as much as my shoulders did, and I did not like the frothing emotion of ego in my heart. It was burning and scorching at my insides like the lava of a volcano.

"The situation is already here. All you need to do is let go, like always," she told me sagely. I shook my head as the rains fell faster, encompassing the forest in a heavenly shower.

"It is that easy to let go? I questioned her stupidly, the beseech in my tone evident. I must have asked her this question a million times through the span of eight years, I know! And these are times where I really admire her patience with me.

"Surprisingly, yes," she replied instantaneously. "You've caught on to something that's only binding you to something you needn't be bound to in the first place," she added, and I rolled my eyes at her in exasperation.

God, I hate her puzzles!

"Why do my shoulders ache so badly?" I inquired, feeling the impeding pain in my shoulders unbearable now. The rains lashed harder, the forest slowly becoming a haze in the background, everything a blur of water and mist.

"Because you've taken it all upon you. The day you learn to truly let go, you'll not need me again, both as your voice of reason and directionist as well," she confessed and it did disturb me.

What would I ever do without her?

She caressed my cheek as I shut my eyes, deciding to let the burden fall off my shoulders, letting my mind float free as I envisioned dropping the heaviness away from my shoulder.

A moment later, the pain ceased.

"Wow... that was easier than I thought it was," I remarked awkwardly. Love gave me a triumphant look, something I could barely decipher through the rampaging outpour of the rains.

"Things are always meant to be simple... It's man who complicates them," she preached, and I looked at the bonds around my hands and feet.

"What are these bonds, really? Emotions, you say?" I asked her, remembering our first conversation in the desert.

"A man is born into the world free, and dies free," she replied, her voice in a meditative trance. "It's in the journey that he binds him firmly to himself, too afraid to lose himself into the freedom of the skies. Those bonds are your emotions. It's necessary and certainly a wonderful treasure to behold because it reminds him of his vulnerabilities and strengths every day; about why he's human. But more often than not, one does not know how to control them and that's where they lose control upon themselves. They end up suffocating and killing themselves with the bonds, like you've experienced once. Something I needn't remind you about."

I gaped at her, awestruck, before I finally found my voice back even though I was uncertain about what was to happen next.

"Wow... And you say that if I just... let go, I'll be in control of the bonds?" I questioned her, unsure of whether I got the concept of what she was trying to tell me. Apparently, I was partially right judging by the change of expression in her eyes.

"Yes... Although you don't always have to be in control of a situation. Just let go," she added, but somehow, I felt reluctant. What would happen if I let go?

"Alright," I agreed with resignation, shutting my eyes for the second time as I felt the rain pound harder upon my face. Moments later, I felt the bonds slip away from my limbs until I was free.

"Whoa, that worked!" I exclaimed in glee. Oh, it felt so good to be in the open... The three overpowering emotion still lapped over my senses, but I liked being momentarily free from the constraints.

"You didn't trust me now, did you?" mused Love aloud, and I could sense the sarcasm in her voice. I shrugged my shoulders at her in apology.

"So what am I supposed to do now?" I wondered aloud and her face split into the brightest of smiles.

I could see a source of light sparkling somewhere in the distance that captivated all my attention. Love looked towards my source of distraction just as my concentration broke. She looked at me and smiled.

"Run towards the light," she answered, her tone benign.

"What?" I let the word slip, stupefied.

"Run as fast as you can," she repeated as the rain pounded upon me harder than ever, obliterating everything from view.

"Isn't that escapism?" I questioned, my voice now drowned by the ruckus the clouds were creating, as though disparaging my arguments.

"You're trapped in a nightmare that you can't get away from. So do the best thing you can - run. As hard as you can, as fast as you can. Without ever looking back again. Leave behind your past and run towards your future, not behind again," said Love, and I nodedd my head swiftly.

The rains are ice-cold. Just like the times where I'd find myself drowning into those bitter-cold waters.

"Are you sure?" I asked her, my limbs tingling uncomfortably now as I felt a gush of desperation sweep upon me.

"Well, it's something you do regularly now, don't you?" shot back Love, and I gasped in shock in spite of myself. "So you know what the outcome is," she added confidently.

"Freedom, yes..." I whispered back, my eyes trying to search for her silhouette. She was only a voice now.

"Go!" she exclaimed, the pulsating light in the distance now growing stronger with every passing minute.

"Will I ever get to see you again?" I asked her childishly. I suddenly felt her presence close to me as she took my hands into her own.

"Oh yes, you will," she replied, her voice keeping my panic at bay.

"When?" I shot inquisitively as the light looked close to extinguishing now.

"The day when it's time to know who I am," she promised, the rains now slapping across my face harshly.

"That's it? And what am I supposed to do till then without you?" I pestered her with yet another question, tears now springing from my own eyes in fright. The rains were rains of remorse and desperation. This was what I projected.

"Who said that I won't be with you...? I'll always be with you. You see, I never leave, not truly," she assured me and for the first time, she enveloped me into a hug.

The hug is something I cannot describe because it was something so... outworldly. It was as though she entered my heart and never left, her presence healing away all the wounds one-by-one, a balm spreading across my senses until everything felt... surreal.

"Run, now!" came Love's voice from my head, giving me the final push.

And I ran.

I ran like a maniac who had no stopping, only an end in sight. I had no control upon my feet as I kept running blindly into the mist, my environment growing mistier and mistier by the moment until it was all blank. And I kept running... running until my lungs felt that it would explode, insufficient air entering them as my heart beat irregularly, the gush of blood pounding into my ears.

And then there was light. Oh yes, there was the light... All I had to do was run into the light and then there would be freedom. Yes... so close... so close... And suddenly, the light got too piercing for my eyes. My feet skidded to a halt as I fell myself stumble and fall, my face hitting the ground face first. Stars shone into my eyes as I opened them a minute later, only to find darkness all around me.

The darkness of my room.

I'd fallen face-first upon the floor. I groaned as I got up, trying to understand what had just transpired but everything was a mess to me. So, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I quickly made my way to the washroom and splashed cold water upon my face as I brought my breathing back to normal. My lungs still hurt as though I'd run in real, while my legs felt wobbly. This was the third time I was going through this kind of a sensation where the effects of my dream were carried on to my real life as well, the previous two times being the first two farewells with Love.

I returned back to my room, feeling slightly relaxed although the experience did shake me up badly. It was disorienting, what happened, and it's making me feel very, very uneasy. It's as though the burden has been lifted away from my shoulders, but I don't know what to do with the weightlessness. It's as though I'd let go of something I'd caught on to uselessly, and the void filled me up with a lingering ache that somehow spread across my heart too.

Love said that I needed to let go. What exactly was I supposed to let go of, I don't know.

Since Baba isn't going to be home for the next three days (he and Mota Babuji are in Surat for a diamond conference), the room is luckily to my liberty to do whatever I want to. After the success of the Reliance Petroleum strategy, Mota Babuji decided to use the profits from that into his diamond trading company, and that's been churning out exceptional figures. Not only the King of Dalal Street, but Mota Babuji is also the founding member of the Gujrati Samaaj Diamond Conference that takes place four times a year since the past ten years. This time, it's held in Surat.

So, here I am, all confused. What's Love really up to? I simply cannot understand her. She's like a spirit... an aura with a characteristic voice and style, poetic and serene. She speaks about Death without any hesitation, yet her thoughts and voice are always seeped with love. She feels warm and real, yet detached and universal. Her presence feels blissful, yet not smothering or emotional or binding when I'm in control of things (well, she appears rather frightening when I lose control of the situation, though). It's as though there's a feeling of loving detachment or detached loving, and it feels distantly familiar.

In these three and a half months, she's been a part of my dreams almost every night. She's been talking me out of my fears a little by little every day, letting me warp the mysteries of life and death around myself like a shield while prepared myself to face the unexpected with dignity and grace. There's so much I yearned to know more about myself that she knew about me - intimate secrets, emotions, thoughts and fears that even I didn't know I ever had access to.

Somehow, I only know that we've touched upon topics like those we used to talk about the first time Love made her appearance in my dreams eight years ago. The knowledge is there, yet the moment the spell of the dreams are broken, it's all locked up again. When I asked Love about why this happened, she simply smiled and told me that this was the being of the human mind - the secrets it beheld was best locked up rather than spilled out.

There are times when I shiver in front of her after an experience of my nightmare, and she stands before me like an angel waiting to heal my wounds. Stroking my face with a comfort I've never experienced before, she recites love poems to me about life and death, about pain and hope, about love and hate, about envy and pride, about the secrets of the universe. Her voice is soft and tender, and I feel the detachment of a universal spirit as I listen to her in awe.

I manage to retain nothing much of significance by the time I wake up, except that I know the topics of my dreams by instinct, very rarely retaining any concrete conversation every time she's appeared in my dreams in these eight years. And just like all the times of her enigmatic presence, she gives me a solution that she guarantees would free me away from my troubles. God, she's driven me insane!

I was supposed to run to the light. But where was the light?

Ranveer looked at the window to see that the sky looked visibly lighter than it should have.

What was the time anyway?

Squinting his eyes as he finally turned on the lights of his bedroom, he gasped at the realization that it was now four in the morning. Shutting off the offending light that left green spots in his eyes, he settled down upon the cot once again, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room eventually.

And wow, it's already four in the morning. So technically, it's the 12th today. Happy Birthday to me! I'm officially 18! Great, even on my birthday, I have to spend my nights deciphering crazy dreams when I'm actually supposed to either be enjoying it with my family and friends or else quietly asleep in bed like any normal human being. But since when was my life ever normal?

Coming back to reality, now.

Ishaani's recovering well, so that's a relief. These four days have been so awkward between us that we haven't even been able to meet eyes with each other, talking to each other still a long, long shot away. I don't know why is it that we aren't still talking when clearly a lot has happened... It's like there's some kind of invisible barrier between us - something that she's broken through but I can't.

Mota Babuji and Falguni Maa are still angry at her for being so brash about her health. She didn't like the scoldings and the lectures she received or was rather blasted with the next day, so she's not talking to them also now. Both of them, however, thanked me for taking such good care of her and apologized on her behalf as well to me. That was really... embarrassing, especially the way Ishaani glared at me in that moment.

Oddly enough, she isn't talking to me as well. It's as though she's ashamed and angry about our entire confrontation. I've tried talking to her, but somehow... I don't know, we just sit together and remain silent. Just like the beginning phase post my accident four years back.

Okay, that's it! I need a pick-me-up.

Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D

Next chapter:
Epistle 50

Res😊 ( damn u are updating to fast😲😲)

O dear I love you so much ( don't worry mm only for updating this ff so fast)
First thing what do you mean by they may or may not reconcile I mean your hints drop a bomb on me making me skip a beat seriously I know I should be prepared for all kind of surprises given that it's your ff but still do surprises have to be wrapped in so much mystery around them. 😲
OK so here he is with love in his nightmares and dreams she is giving him strength and a way out to all miseries related to nightmares but hw have to be smart enough to catch the hints.
Well their conversation was seriously very mysterious that I had to reread to understand
All these happenings are resembling his accident phase where he let ishani never come near him and to heal him but eventually that was the only way out even at that time and even now the only way out is letting their differences resolve.
Love that time also told him to let it go and this time also
I just loved the whole explanation by love regarding bond and emotions
They were true in each and every aspect it's the bond which cause us both pain and happiness well I truly believe in this line that everything is simple it's us and our attachments which make things complicated.
This ranveer though so smart but is hi self becoming one of the reasons for his miseries that innocent ranveer was more naive but he easily solved it but this ranveer seems to be too stubborn to let it go.
I just cannot say dear you have taken the description of dreams and night Ares to a whole new level that even my nightmares semms to fascinate me now and I have been reading things regarding dreams and all way to much my family is doubting me now that whts werong with me I so loved this whole new concept of dreams and nightmares in your ff and whole credit goes to your writing g dear.
When these two idiots are going to break the ice I mean is it that ishani I is regretting what she did in her bout of hormonal and emotional phase or is she Waiting for him to travel the remaining distance between them.
Whatever it is I am sure this going to make their relationship a little more strong.
Thnx a lot dear for pm
And as always waiting for your next update
By d way when your college is going to restart?
Just a doubt was it Gujarati samaj diamond conference or gujrati sahitya am a bit confused

Originally posted by: LadyMeringue

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Thank you so much, darling! 🤗🤗 And congratulations to you as well on turning Dazzler! 🥳🥳 Keep going this way and you'll become a Sizzlerz as well. 🤪🤪

Poplu, don't even think about it. 😈😈

Originally posted by: NidsJ

🤗 🤗

what r u saying... they reach such no. of threads by spamming...😲 didn't knew that... even I've seen as many as 10 threads in other forums but never knew their actual content... they do have likes in huge numbers like 200 or more so used to think that may be so many people are commenting also... 😆

but u r doing a good work... 😎 vaise bhi our forum is dying at a very fast pace 😔 so it will cater some help also... 😉 😉

Originally posted by: LadyMeringue

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Like I told you before, review whenever you are free; there's not hard and fast. 😆😆

Free preaches from luv😆

Originally posted by: ShadikaIshVeer

Res😊 ( damn u are updating to fast😲😲)

Btw I am sho stupid I did not wish u for the new thread

Congratulation on the new thread🥳🤗

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