What will you do?

If you are Riya, what will you do?

I will ask my husband to choose between me and his family and I will opt for a separate home .

If he does not agree, I will file for divorce after explaining to my father that I will get a heart attack if I continue there. Because father has a medical condition to emotionally blackmail me to stay and continue.

I will not consider marriage for some months or even years. I will think about my career.

If I want to continue, I will set my own terms.

I will give half the salary.

I will cook on holidays and weekends. Other times I will try to help.

I dont like to be shouted at.

I want to have a say as I have become a full fledged member.

Please vote and let me know how you will deal with the situation?

I will deal with them smartly bcs if I will ask to choose between me nd family then there will not be difference between me nd Shanti devi nd filing a divorce is not an option it's not easy to give divorce to one whom u love from heart nd obviously I m not any1 slave nd I can't be that easily so my vote for dealing them smartly

Awesome question, will be interesting to see others' replies!

Well, personally if I was her I would start opening my mouth and communicating- with EVERYONE. Transparency works like magic with people who use lies and deceit to manipulate and hurt others.

I would start with Neemi and Preeti- my SILs because they are closest to my age and seem to be going through a difficult time. Especially Nimmi. Obviously I can only say what I would do from my perspective given my personality...so I would have a heart to heart with Nimmi and ask her why she seems to feel so angry with me all the time. Anger is just a way of expressing pain and hurt to me- so Id be wondering why she is on attack mode all the time when I haven't actually done anything. Alarm bells would be going off in my head that something that Im not seeing is not quite right. Because honestly everytime I say anything to her, she bites my head off. I would also mention what Ive seen so far- Shivam getting upset when I talk about his mum, Shanti saying mean things to Khusiya, just generally all the weird stuff that Riya has seen in that household (but hasn't seemed to have registered for some unfathomable reason in the actual show). Maybe being candid and open with Neemi would trigger her to spill the beans on Shanti and Sarla!

Whether she did or not, I would then speak to Khusiya. Id tell her that we are both in a new situation and trying to figure out our roles both separately and respective of each other. That Im not out to insult or upset anyone if that's how it seems to come across and Im just doing my best but with the same token would appreciate some patience and time to adjust because of the totally different family dynamics. I would indeed make it crystal clear to Khusiya and tell her directly that I don't intend to not speak up to my elders if I don't feel something is right- I respect them, but that doesn't mean they are always right and I wont always be agreeing with them. If she doesn't like it, then that's her prerogative... she comes from a different generation. Just as I have to make allowances for her outdated thinking- she has to make allowances for my modern upbringing. It cant all be one sided because I didn't marry into a dictatorship no matter who says what about it. I don't owe anyone anything but their due respect- but that doesn't mean blindly doing their bidding and harming my life and future in the process- and I would have to break that down for her. I have hopes and dreams for my children too one day and for me to do that, I cant be begging and snivelling at others' feet no matter what the rules of the family are. Shivam will probably have a fit- but given how much Riya loves him, she will probably simply wait to see his reaction (as opposed to giving him an ultimatum) IF he is the one who gives her the ultimatum then if I were her Id have no choice then but to take it. I cant be a slave to anyone just because they are elder or because "that's just the way it is in that house"...so if Shivam wants me out- then what can I do? I have to leave. But I wont sell my soul and dignity in the name of love- because then it is no longer love, its co-dependency of the most heinous sort.

If it all gets out of hand- or even if not- Ill then speak to Raghav, he seems to have treated her with more respect and allowances so far than any of the women in the family- with what little interaction he has had with her. I'll be respectful but honest with him- I'll tell him that being the eldest man of the house, if there is something I don't feel is right I will speak to him about it. If he says "no you speak only to shanti" I will just have to say with all due respect, I would prefer to speak to both of you (this way it covers me- if Shanti is screwing around with me or twisting my words etc, and if I speak to him separately then its shanti's word against raghav's- not me stuck in the middle like a lemming). I could even say that because I was brought up solely by my dad I am more comfortable speaking to him than to Shanti. I mean- its complicated cuz Im a viewer and I know Riya shouldn't be speaking to shanti at all about personal stuff- but... in the show riya trusts shanti. So if I were her- just to cover my bases and be clever about it, cuz hey I don't really know anyone in this family or their motives- I would speak to both Shanti and Raghav. Especially if it has to with finances or the different ways of living. Raghav has the final say on everything- he would be a good person to get to understand her and see her POV. Riya could speak to Raghav about coming home on time etc and say something along the lines of "father in law, youre a working man also, its difficult to always come home on time every single night- could you explain it to MIL that I need a bit of leeway- I really wnt to do my MIL proud, but Im afraid I will let her down" etc. OR I could just tell Khusiya this- but Khusiya is being a royal PITA about everything lately so Id be too freaked out telling her anything at this point. Id be clever about it and try and bypass any unpleasantness by going to the source of the family- Raghav. Even if Shanti is matriarch- she still listens to Raghav and she still wants to please him- so he does hold significant say in what happens.

As for Khusiya- Id sweeten her up- you know the phrase, kill someone with kindness. Id go off the deep end with it- I wouldn't get mad at her, Id work with her personality. Shes very subservient and timid- so Id use that to get close to her somehow. Id also tell her all the "not so nice" things Shanti ha said to me about her and Nimmi and Preeti- I would be transparent about that. Like what she said about Nimmi and Preeti and that she told me to keep away from them and innocently ask Khusiya why she thinks she said that. Id also tell her that Shanti said that she was a very strict lady and that Im sorry if I ever did anything to upset her and because of what Shanti said- I admit, Im a little weary of her. This would maybe open Khusiya upto Riya more and make her think twice about scolding her as per Shanti's wishes. Most of the time Khusiyas scolding is encouraged and instigated by Shanti- shes got such a weak personality that she is easily moulded. So why not make it work in my favour and get her to see my side of things? Riya can be just as strong and wilful a character as Shanti is but in the opposite and less psychopathic way (if the writers allowed it).

All in all, I would be very clever about how I go about communicating. I wouldn't just bluntly say things- Id do it like Shanti but Id be a force for good! Plant seeds here and there. Keep true to myself and speak up when I see injustice towards myself or others and make no apologies for it- but also not be disrespectful. You can be assertive without disrespecting- BUT if the elders see ANY form of speaking up whether you are being respectful or not, then sorry I cant help that. As I said, I wont be begging at the feet of anyone or doing anyones bidding- and if they don't like it Im not the one who will be leaving- they will have to be the ones to throw me out and explain it to the world.

But then saying that- with this family- they probably wouldn't have a problem with that!

Thanks for your replies. I like your coolheadedness in dealing with tough situations.

Riya does not know what we know. Many things are hidden from her. Actually it should be husband's duty to enlighten newly married wife so that she can walk on eggshells more carefully without breaking them.

Riya will learn from evey mistake. She has to. Who will give her gyan? It is easy to understand Kaushalya and it is very tough to estimate Shanti devi as she wears masks.

I have voted for the 'smart' option as have many others ,I see.

Originally posted by: Leelalore

I have voted for the 'smart' option as have many others ,I see.

But smart dealing can mean different things to different people.

The methods I employ would NOT involve any fakeness or concealment

with my spouse.

i dont think anyone here would like my comment, as most of the times, my post are anti Riya...

I am a bit selfish and I will think if is worth. There are many options. I will not allow them to use me as their ATM. I will give up my job or ask for transfer to some other place without their knowledge.

There are 3 layers to the probem. First layer is Shanti. Second one is Sarala. Third one is Kushia. Try to be nice to Kushia, her saas will be upset. Try to please Shanti, the girls will be upset. Try to please Sarla, give her half the salary, so Sarla will be on my side. Give her gifts too. Half the battle won. Please the daughter and win both the mother and the daughter. Buy one, get one free.😉

It is easy to please Kushia without expressly doing so. Not to take her tantrums seriously.
Be nice to the girls.

In all these, the spouse will become the last priority and he himself is responsible for it to some extent.

And try to become a nautanki myself.

Originally posted by: leavesandwaves

I am a bit selfish and I will think if is worth. There are many options. I will not allow them to use me as their ATM. I will give up my job or ask for transfer to some other place without their knowledge.

There are 3 layers to the probem. First layer is Shanti. Second one is Sarala. Third one is Kushia. Try to be nice to Kushia, her saas will be upset. Try to please Shanti, the girls will be upset. Try to please Sarla, give her half the salary, so Sarla will be on my side. Give her gifts too. Half the battle won. Please the daughter and win both the mother and daughter. Buy one, get one free.

It is easy to please Kushia without expressly doing so. Not to take her tantrums seriously.
Be nice to the girls.

In all these, the spouse will become the last priority and he himself is responsible for it to some extent.

And try to become a nautanki myself.