Posted:
Originally posted by: return_to_hades
It is so refreshing and fun to read about the experiences/advice of other desis in the USA. đ
One misconception immigrants have is that the USA is one sprawling metropolis from coast to coast. They perceive it to be some party central of some sort brimming with all sorts of debauchery. I had these misconceptions when I first moved. In reality, the United States is extremely diverse. Just like desh there are conservatives and progressives, just like desh you have urban cities and rural agricultural towns, just like desh you have the North/South aka Yankee/Confederate divide. Add to that immigrants from every corner of the globe, it's quite a mix. In fact, once in USA, all the divides of country, religion, language, and region disappear. We all collectively become desis, south Asians or brown people.As Marscapone pointed out, many Indians are spoiled. Even middle-class Indians have servants cooking and cleaning for them. India has many other conveniences like essentials within walking distance or public commute. You do not have the luxury of servants in the USA. If you want cleaning services you pay a hefty sum. You could eat out often, but your checkbook will cry. In many ways being abroad makes Indians very independent and self-sustaining.Another misconception that desis tend to have is that white/western girls are easy. It is a very infuriating and problematic mindset. The culture in the USA is much more open. Women have a lot more freedom to wear what they want and date. Young women are sexually active and pre-marital sex is not as much of a stigma. But that does not mean that they will put out for anyone and everyone. That does not mean sex is a bigger priority than love or romance. That does not mean they don't want relationships. Women are people and no matter what part of the world they have their dreams and desires and deserve respect.Another thing, immigration is a great opportunity to expand horizons. It is natural to gravitate towards other desis and make friends within the community. And you should maintain strong ties with the desi community. But take the opportunity to make friends with people you won't get to mingle with back home. And I don't mean just white folks - connect with other immigrants and people of color. You will be surprised at common narratives within immigrants.
Totally agree, especially with the highlighted part!
I can understand that being forced to be self-sufficient at first can be difficult, but my mom, dad and I, all of whom were immigrants at one point, are now grateful that we know how to take care of ourselves, and look after ourselves. While it's nice to have people doing everything for us, in the end of the day it's better for people to be independent and know how to take care of themselves.
Also, a positive of living in the US is that it teaches Indian men to work harder and help out in the house. In India, barely any Indian man helps with chores. In fact, he considers it an insult to "dirty his hands", but in America, due to the heavy workload at home that women are not able to complete by themselves, many Indian women learn how to do simple tasks like doing their own laundry and washing dishes that they'd never do in India. For me, this is a definite positive.
My mom and dad do miss India at times, but they also say they could never leave the US, because they have gotten used to the freedom, independence and acceptance here. As much as they love India, and so do I, certain aspects of society make living there difficult. We go back for vacations frequently to visit family, but life there, even with its conveniences, is still pretty difficult in other ways IMO.
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Arjun
