People are lonely in US - Page 4

Like JM posted before, find out if there is an Indian/Desi Students Cultural Association at your University, attend their programs, participate in their cultural activities and functions and you will make friends there easily.

You are a Bengali, right? Saraswati Puja is coming up, google for Saraswati Puja in or around the town or suburb where you are living now...attend the Puja nearest you, you will have to pay a nominal fee for single attendee, you can enjoy Puja/ Bhog/Prashad there, enjoy cultural functions and make new friends.

If you live in a North Eastern or Mid-Atlantic state, then NABC 2018 is coming up in end of June, it will be held in Atlantic City in NJ for 3 days,

The NABC or North America Bengali Conference is basically 3 days of continuous Bengali cultural programs, food, shopping stalls, literary festival, film festival, etc

Shreya Ghoshal will perform on the last night of the convention.

Bongs from all over North America attend this. They also have some programs for young people to meet and mingle...check out their website NABC2018.com, you can register online...you will surely enjoy the programs, feel less homesick being surrounded by 5,000 Bengalis and its possible to make new friends there if you attend the Youth Meet programs

As for cooking and driving, cleaning, laundry ...those chores cannot be avoided 😆 There are no affordable maids here to do all that for us.

Driving cannot be shortened but for cooking u can look up shortcuts and easy recipes online.

During my Christmas break I knew 10/15 people who went to Kentucky a for shaadi that was dubbed the shaadi of the season. I looked at snapchat/instagram/facebook and I was like im missing out. But I went to Poconos. Snow resort type thing with my family. It was awesome. Casino, Snowtubing, steak, all this great stuff. When I saw some of those people after Christmas. They said yeah Kentucky was fun but it seemed like you were having the time of your life in the Poconos. An I was like but ofcourse I was 😆😆😆

Its a matter of perception. First off no one goes out everynight for food/nightclub

Most people 22-32 come home from work/school and just get take out and watch netflix/hulu by themselves

Chores are ok if you have a regular schedule and don't let things accumulate.

In the summer there are things like farmer's market.

You can go to so many concerts here. Desi Playback singers to your favorite rockstar, classical Indian music.

Like Pallavi said community desi events are a very good place to network and make friends. Huge Diwali melas where you can get different kinds of food. Non desi so many immigrant restaurants. You have food festivals.

But the basic rules are same in a new city in India or USA or UK if you don't know anyone. Put yourself out there to make friends, but be careful of who you become friends with.

Not in India. You can have servants doing your cooking,cleaning, grocery shopping,laundry etc. Drivers are there to drive you around. Dhobi is there to come take your clothes for ironing. Grocery shops deliver your grocery if you send in the list. 😆 No wonder if you have to do all this , life will suck first few months till you get used to it.

One misconception immigrants have is that the USA is one sprawling metropolis from coast to coast. They perceive it to be some party central of some sort brimming with all sorts of debauchery. I had these misconceptions when I first moved. In reality, the United States is extremely diverse. Just like desh there are conservatives and progressives, just like desh you have urban cities and rural agricultural towns, just like desh you have the North/South aka Yankee/Confederate divide. Add to that immigrants from every corner of the globe, it's quite a mix. In fact, once in USA, all the divides of country, religion, language, and region disappear. We all collectively become desis, south Asians or brown people.

As Marscapone pointed out, many Indians are spoiled. Even middle-class Indians have servants cooking and cleaning for them. India has many other conveniences like essentials within walking distance or public commute. You do not have the luxury of servants in the USA. If you want cleaning services you pay a hefty sum. You could eat out often, but your checkbook will cry. In many ways being abroad makes Indians very independent and self-sustaining.

Another misconception that desis tend to have is that white/western girls are easy. It is a very infuriating and problematic mindset. The culture in the USA is much more open. Women have a lot more freedom to wear what they want and date. Young women are sexually active and pre-marital sex is not as much of a stigma. But that does not mean that they will put out for anyone and everyone. That does not mean sex is a bigger priority than love or romance. That does not mean they don't want relationships. Women are people and no matter what part of the world they have their dreams and desires and deserve respect.

Another thing, immigration is a great opportunity to expand horizons. It is natural to gravitate towards other desis and make friends within the community. And you should maintain strong ties with the desi community. But take the opportunity to make friends with people you won't get to mingle with back home. And I don't mean just white folks - connect with other immigrants and people of color. You will be surprised at common narratives within immigrants.

Stay near desi community if u r new or particular abt it...go to temples frequently if u want in touch with them ..in india we dont have time with people around us all the time but in usa we have plenty of time simply explore things and utilise ur time ..the feeling of staying away from home makes u more lonely..so be active !

They are from different cultures and please don't expect the same culture everywhere. Just because they are independent and private doesn't mean they don't have close bonds with their families. If you wanna enjoy US and grow your life, please never have a superior attitude.

I know lot of foreigners come here but always cringe about everything in US behaving they are superior/better with their customs and culture even though they take better salaries, have better life styles, live freely than in their respective countries.

They complain every little thing about USA, but in some of their own countries foreigner can not even visit freely.

If any one want to succeed in any place, they have to have respect for the opportunities they were given.

Of course you will see some racist people everywhere, why only US, how many racists live in our own Asian countries?. Some are still ready to die if people get in to a love affair with a person who belongs to a different culture or have a different opinion. US is far more liberal.

US is a place for people who want to work hard and succeed. You will be amazed if you visit around. The country is so big, has the nicest places in each state to visit around. I am still not done going to all the beautiful places in US.

So my advise is, don't go by media reports or general crap people are referring to. You can explore by your own. Specially if you are a student, look around and see how many professors /researchers in Universities are from foreign lands. If they are that racist, they will never give opportunities to foreign people like this.

You can have an identity and keep it, but never judge others by the way they live, wear etc etc. I see lot of people do that believing only their way, culture is the best. Good luck with your studies. 😊