Thoughts about today's episode - Page 3

Originally posted by: Anu1975

@Bold tell me about it.. he has already indulged in so much for which he needs to be held accountable..but tons of justification they come up with to negate his problematic behavior is mind boggling…i am okay with it too ..what disturbs me to the core is when they come up with unreasonable expectations from her to make him look better & comfortable… His problematic behaviour was that he drank, stayed in the same room as his ex but he didn't intend to cheat on Pallavi. He was sloshed and out of his senses. None of the posts defending Raghav have justified these mistakes of his. Almost everyone has acknowledged that these were mistakes he did and he'll have hell to pay for these. Sleeping with Esha (which is a trap for sure) is not his mistake. He clearly took Pallavi's name but Esha still proceeded to take advantage of him. If roles were reversed people would be up in arms.

She should still stay with him even after knowing about infidelity… no one said that she should stay with him. We all have been saying that Raghav needs to come clean so she gets to chose if she wants to stay with him or not. We said that we will not judge her if she decides to stay despite whatever he did. I'm pro-choice and it's not my place to judge what Pallavi feels right to do in these circumstances. I may have not accepted a partner who did that to me but hey, I'm not Pallavi, am I?

She should not trust that he slept with a another woman even if he admits it..but she should completely trust him when he says that he did not do it intentionally..look at the contradiction here!!! Pallavi is a practical person, Raghav right now believes he slept with Esha. It is possible that Pallavi sees this as a trap. No one wants her to fight his battles. She needs to come to terms with what happened. I want to see her breakdown and see her emotions as well.

She should help him overcome with his regret, pain guilt and together they should fight it out…

No matter what he does she should be with him because he can’t survive without her…so it’s Him only Him..what about her dignity honor and self respect... She needs to decide what she wants to do. What if for her self respect isn't as important as her love for him? Raghav had once willingly given up his self respect to drink the lota water for her. Why can't she do it for her love if she wants? It's her choice we aren't saying she should but we can understand her if she choses to.

So basically she should always be the provider no matter what she goes through, even though, she is the one who has been wronged, she is the one who has been constantly lied too, she is the one who got cheated, she is the one who has been subjected to rude behavior and neglect No one is denying that she's the victim here but somewhere Raghav is a victim too. He made wrong choices but that doesn't mean he should be crucified for something he didn't do. He should repent for lying and for his mistakes.

My heart cried for her when she sought some solace & assurance from him after all the anxiety she went through and what she got, he not only failed to reassure her but rudely jerked her off..to make her feel unwanted…he had his reasons but why should she suffer for his mistakes… Have the decency to tell her truth and let her decide..she survives or dies that’s her call instead he is putting her through hell for the sins he committed, justice delayed is justice denied and Raghav is denying her justice for his own selfish reasons. Can you imagine how painful it also was for Raghav to push her away. Their hugs were always to give comfort to her but he couldn't do that today. He was disgusted with himself. If he touched her without coming clean, I would really be mad at him. He is not being selfish, his conversation with LWR is clear that he's doing this to spare her pain but he will still cause her pain by taking away her agency in all of this. He should come clean to her asap.

We will still expect compassion from the victim while we show her none yes, because we love the offender more than her..that’s the sad truth…

Firstly Raghav isn't an offender here, he's a victim too. Yes he caused Pallavi pain and no one is denying that and everyone is sympathetic to Pallavi but both aren't mutually exclusive. You can feel sympathy for both. In fact everyone wants him to come clean and repent. And only then for Pallavi to forgive him if she choses to.

I didn't want to reply to your post coz we clearly have opposite views but it is really not fair to pass a judgement that everyone who is defending Raghav loves Raghav more than Pallavi. We love Raghvi equally and are watching this show for both of them.

I fought for Pallavi during the mandar track when she was bashed and I will fight for Raghav now when he's misunderstood right now.

While I genuinely respect your views, you can't deny that someone else can have views that aren't aligned to yours and that they see things from their perspective, experiences, understanding and tolerance levels.

Peace out!!!

We are talking about Pallavi to be given a choice but sadly... No one is ready to give, accept and respect her choice.

Raghav wants to hide it from her for reasons he knows better. I don't want to justify him. I have contentions with him about getting into the situation at the first place. But given how he was almost knocked out and yet Esha took advantage... It can be bordered along victim blaming. Something we have seen around mandar pallavi... So I don't want to venture that territory. But it's clear Raghav atm is not inclined towards giving Pallavi her right to choose.

And here are we who blatantly wants her to leave him or we shall judge her actions. Again aren't we enforcing our thoughts on her. Aren't we expecting her to do what we think she should do?

If the choice is to be made by Pallavi... It needs to be hers alone. I won't judge her for whatever she decides. It's her right.

Originally posted by: inlieu

No one is asking her to sacrifice her self respect and stay with him if she doesn't want to. It's her choice how she wants to proceed and we respect her right to make whatever decision she wants to.

No one is saying that his lying or hiding is acceptable and that it should continue. We know his reason for doing it but that doesn't make it right.

So when he lied to her about running Mandaar down with his car, were you fine with her not believing him even though he kept saying it was his doing? If so, then what's different in this case?

When Mandaar took Pallavi to the room and locked the door, she was not even conscious but she held his hand to stop him and was talking to him thinking it was Raghav. Mandaar let her continue that. Raghav saw it with his own eyes. Did he start believing that she was being disloyal? No. Rather, he started fighting with Mandaar because he knew Mandaar was at fault. Would you call Raghav the victim in that situation? Did he not try to point out to Pallavi where she was going wrong in terms of priority, but he said nothing about her fidelity in the marriage whatsoever because he knew she'd never cheat on him with her blast from the past Mandaar now in her present, compounded by emotionally blackmailing from the Ds that made her feel compelled to help them and stay at D-house.

What Mandaar did was criminal and wrong. It wasn't Pallavi's fault at all. She was naive because she had a good impression of him before so she never suspected him of being such a creep. Being naive is not a crime and she did not commit a crime against Raghav or their marriage when she was in that state in the room. She did it unknowingly.

There's a clear parallel here. Only difference is Raghav saw that whereas here Pallavi didn't.

There is no comparison between Mangalgaur and the hotel fiasco… this is unfair comparison at multiple levels..

Pallavi was unconscious when Mandar carried her to his room..Raghav willingly chose to share the room with his Ex

Pallavi didn’t drug her own kheer which led her to think Mandar was Raghav but Raghav willingly chose to get sloshed to the point that he ended up sleeping with his Ex..

Pallavi landed up in the situation because of Mandar..Raghav landed up because of his own decisions…

First thing Pallavi did after waking up was call Raghav, still Raghav lashed out at her..Raghav is still hiding the truth of the night from her and will continues to do so while hurting her by pushing her away..

Pallavi cannot be held responsible for what happened in mangalgaur but Raghav is accountable for what he did…

Pallavi never exercised her free will then and even now Raghav is denying it by withholding the truth but Raghav did exercise his free will then and even now..

Above all Raghav knew about Pallavi & Mandar staying under the same roof with Deshmukh family..but does Pallavi know about Raghav’s rendezvous with his Ex…he hid about Esha being his GF until she got know herself, he hid the me too reply from her even after she asked him, just like he hiding the hotel fiasco..Raghav has been lying about his Ex form the word go..which Pallavi never did..there was absolute honesty from Pallavi’s side in dealing with Mandar…Raghav has been downright dishonest with Pallavi when it came to his Ex…

Both the situation are completely different it’s like comparing cheese and chalk

Originally posted by: Anu1975

There is no comparison between Mangalgaur and the hotel fiasco… this is unfair comparison at multiple levels..

Pallavi was unconscious when Mandar carried her to his room..Raghav willingly chose to share the room with his Ex

Pallavi didn’t drug her own kheer which led her to think Mandar was Raghav but Raghav willingly chose to get sloshed to the point that he ended up sleeping with his Ex..

Pallavi landed up in the situation because of Mandar..Raghav landed up because of his own decisions…

First thing Pallavi did after waking up was call Raghav, still Raghav lashed out at her..Raghav is still hiding the truth of the night from her and will continues to do so while hurting her by pushing her away..

Pallavi cannot be held responsible for what happened in mangalgaur but Raghav is accountable for what he did…

Pallavi never exercised her free will then and even now Raghav is denying it by withholding the truth but Raghav did exercise his free will then and even now..

Above all Raghav knew about Pallavi & Mandar staying under the same roof with Deshmukh family..but does Pallavi know about Raghav’s rendezvous with his Ex…he hid about Esha being his GF until she got know herself, he hid the me too reply from her even after she asked him, just like he hiding the hotel fiasco..Raghav has been lying about his Ex form the word go..which Pallavi never did..there was absolute honesty from Pallavi’s side in dealing with Mandar…Raghav has been downright dishonest with Pallavi when it came to his Ex…

Both the situation are completely different it’s like comparing cheese and chalk

@bold and I said this a few times over that his lying and hiding the truth is not acceptable. Where's the contradiction? I am responding to how a spouse interprets their spouse being in a vulnerable or compromising position. I am seeing both Pallavi's and Raghav's predicament in this very messy situation.

You feel what you feel, I understand and respect that.
I shared my perspective but it seems that you don't want to understand what I'm saying and I understand and respect that too.

This is the first time in my life that I've been accused of misogyny, and that really hurts because I know I'm not that kind of person. I try to be fair to everyone based on what I see in the show and not what I want to see, because writers decide how the story plays out, not me.

Originally posted by: euphoric

We are talking about Pallavi to be given a choice but sadly... No one is ready to give, accept and respect her choice.

Raghav wants to hide it from her for reasons he knows better. I don't want to justify him. I have contentions with him about getting into the situation at the first place. But given how he was almost knocked out and yet Esha took advantage... It can be bordered along victim blaming. Something we have seen around mandar pallavi... So I don't want to venture that territory. But it's clear Raghav atm is not inclined towards giving Pallavi her right to choose.

And here are we who blatantly wants her to leave him or we shall judge her actions. Again aren't we enforcing our thoughts on her. Aren't we expecting her to do what we think she should do?

If the choice is to be made by Pallavi... It needs to be hers alone. I won't judge her for whatever she decides. It's her right.

For her to decide she has to know the truth first, with what moral ethical noble intention is he withholding the truth or decide when to tell her..the fact that he is hiding it from her and still continues to meet His Ex after sleeping with her can be interpreted as infidelity or EMA..

So if people still want her to be with such a man for their own good reasons so are going to be some who don’t want her to be with him for their own good reasons too.

as far as judging her for her decisions is concerned, she has always been judged in the past will get judged for her decisions in the future too..that is not the issue here..by delaying her truth he is denying her right while is also hurting her for his mistakes/sins..

Originally posted by: Anu1975

@Bold tell me about it.. he has already indulged in so much for which he needs to be held accountable..but tons of justification they come up with to negate his problematic behavior is mind boggling…i am okay with it too ..what disturbs me to the core is when they come up with unreasonable expectations from her to make him look better & comfortable…

She should still stay with him even after knowing about infidelity…

She should not trust that he slept with a another woman even if he admits it..but she should completely trust him when he says that he did not do it intentionally..look at the contradiction here!!!

She should help him overcome with his regret, pain guilt and together they should fight it out…

No matter what he does she should be with him because he can’t survive without her…so it’s Him only Him..what about her dignity honor and self respect...

So basically she should always be the provider no matter what she goes through, even though, she is the one who has been wronged, she is the one who has been constantly lied too, she is the one who got cheated, she is the one who has been subjected to rude behavior and neglect

My heart cried for her when she sought some solace & assurance from him after all the anxiety she went through and what she got, he not only failed to reassure her but rudely jerked her off..to make her feel unwanted…he had his reasons but why should she suffer for his mistakes… Have the decency to tell her truth and let her decide..she survives or dies that’s her call instead he is putting her through hell for the sins he committed, justice delayed is justice denied and Raghav is denying her justice for his own selfish reasons.

We will still expect compassion from the victim while we show her none yes, because we love the offender more than her..that’s the sad truth…

@bold how true.

It is not necessary that all of us should be understanding and acceptive of the murky path Raghav keeps treading on, all for the reason that he loves Pallavi or Pallavi loves him.

It was his choice to share a room with Esha. (while Pallavi wasn't even aware that they were together)

It was his choice to have drinks (even after promising Pallavi that he would stop drinking)

It was his choice to share those "soft moments" (knowing fully well how unacceptable all of the above would be to Pallavi or to any other sane wife for that matter)

It's again his own choice to subject Pallavi to cold behaviour rather than to confess truth. (Because well truth is hard to confess for several reasons)

Being guilty doesn't give him some moral high-ground.

Pallavi deserves better and there is nothing wrong about actually voicing this out.

Originally posted by: Anu1975

For her to decide she has to know the truth first, with what moral ethical noble intention is he withholding the truth or decide when to tell her..the fact that he is hiding it from her and still continues to meet His Ex after sleeping with her can be interpreted as infidelity or EMA..

So if people still want her to be with such a man for their own good reasons so are going to be some who don’t want her to be with him for their own good reasons too.

as far as judging her for her decisions is concerned, she has always been judged in the past will get judged for her decisions in the future too..that is not the issue here..by delaying her truth he is denying her right while is also hurting her for his mistakes/sins..

Its a matter of perspective Anu. When Pallavi was not in her senses she held Mandar's hand. It was all Mandar's doing. Pallavi could not be blamed at all. My heart went out for Pallavi then.

Here Raghav was not in senses. Yes he was wrong to have this let's catch up session with Esha. Very very wrong. But when clearly he was imagining Pallavi and the esha was closing in on him, she was wrong. He was sloshed, she was sober. My heart went out for him. Like a fool he dug his own grave by being at a wrong place at the wrong time. He was an idiot to jeopardize his happiness and channeled himself into downward stream.

No, he shouldn't go scot free! Period!

Yes, it's her right to know! Period!

These two statements have no two ways about it. But what I want him to be accountable for is his lies, false promises, impulsive actions and over the top reactions guided by anger rather than the rational thought.

He's denying her the truth which is wrong. He has his reasons... Either the fear of abandonment or he wants to preserve her from hurt whatever be it... I can empathise with him because his intentions are not misplaced but I don't support him. It's a matter of time she'll find out the truth and he'll bear the brunt. Which he rightfully must. But it's for pallavi to decide whether she wants to stay or leave. It's for her to decide to forgive or not.

But just to contemplate... Though a consequence of a murder is always life lost, why is it that the sentences are different for the one committed in self defense to another that is committed as an accident and then another that's commited out of sheer intention of malice. Similarly, though I agree that infidelity is a deal breaker... But still intentions and circumstances may also play a role in sentencing someone to doom.

Both of these people haven't had normal childhoods neither happiness has been gracious on them. So if they scramble to hold on to the left over pieces, it's not my place to judge them at all.

Pallavi is going to be heartbroken. And I don't want Raghav to get a free pass here. He needs to take the accountability of his actions. Deed or no deed... He has hurt her. My heart breaks when I think about her. But when she breaks his guilt will gnaw at him inside out. As much as I want to hold on to pallavi ans comfort her, I can't help but feel sorry for Raghav too.

And yes, as far as he pushed her away in his den... I am glad he did. Not to shun her. But he had been with another woman (acc to him. I am though not convinced). He was obviously disgusted and dirty. In that state I dont want him to hug pallavi albeit he really didn't care.

But these are my views. And you are entitled to yours. Peace!