kaju OS : the vows of divinity (part 12 :pg 11) - Page 6

They were leaving the five of them and their wife...there was utter silence as they walked ... they came and stood by close next to pitamha bhishm waiting for his blessings...I looked at arjun .. I needed to talk to him ... if not now...then it's never possible...but what do I tell him?? Walk up to him and say im sorry I made you trust me and then backstabbed you in the worst way possible..im even more sorry that I called your wife a vesha in the sabha...yeah...that sounded so nice even in my head ...but out of the two of us arjun was always the more sensitive...always the one who understood how other people felt in most situations...delicate and understanding..while he karn was blissfully unaware...karn blamed it on the fact that arjun was always surrounded by women and so was much more understanding...sadly even arriving to this conclusion gave him no answer for his current problems... he sighed..arjun would have most likely become his old sarcastic guarded person around him and to karn there was nothing he hated more...well...he needed to talk otherwise everything would only become sooo much more worse...collecting as much as courage as he could ...he walked forward arjun was with his brothers were he knew he definitely won't get a good reception...nevertheless he ploughed on...arjun I said quietly we need to talk...no we don't he said his voice colder than ice ... I felt my heart sink...please I said again..he won't be coming with you bheem said..what is this some sort of conspiracy...I needed to cut bheem out before he completely convinced arjun that he needn't talk to me...are you scared ?? I burst out and groaned mentally in my mind seriously??Seriously?? I felt like hitting my face in the nearby pillar...but much to my surprise and increasing delight it actually worked... he walked with me and I went to the Yamuna bank where the full moon was reflected on the placid waters ... there was an awkward silence between the two of us..even in the mountains the silence between them had never been awkward...yes there were a lot of situations where there was complete silence between the two of us but it had never been awkward as it was now..finally I took a deep breath and turned to face him...arjun I said slowly...he just nodded his head despite the less than encouraging response I ploughed on ... I... I ... I stuttered after bringing him here and looking into his eyes I found I really dint have an adequate apology..in fact I dint have one at all..and the watchful eyes of his brothers from a distance was freaking me out...I sighed all the lines I had mentally rehearsed in my head seemed to have been wiped out completely... I sighed again...arjun lost his patience finally ..he turned around to face me blue eyes blazing I unconsciously took a step back ..have you brought me here o actually tell me something ?? or are you just going to convey to me mentally as to how much you want to be a snake with all your sighing and hissing..in fact it should be me who is doing that all now...cause you know why.. SHUT UP!!! I snapped he looked taken aback and mercifully he shut up he turned around and was about to leave when I grabbed his hand and pulled him back..im..sorry I burst out he looked at me blankly..look please .. I know ive wronged you ..i also know you most likely will never forgive me !! but eventually one day after thirteen years ... while we face each other in the battlefield..an when you shoot me down he opened his mouth to interrupt .. but I stopped him with a hand gesture ..while you shoot me dwn cause it has to happen if dharma must rise then I must fall..that timewhen I look into your eyes ..just make me a single promise ..i know after what I have done today you will never forgive me but during the last moment of my life when I look into your eyes I want to see duty not revenge..after finishing my tirade I couldn't meet his eyes ... The moon went behind the clouds plunging us in darkness...I swished my robes turned around and walked away .. leaving him alone in the dark