Arjun: The Final Journey (OS)
I'd promised myself that I wouldn't write any FFs/OSs while watching the epic, Mahabharat. The epic is so vast and deep that very few mortals in the kaliyug can even do justice to any part of this story. Like a true kaliyugan (if there is a term like that), I've broken my promise and tried to dabble into my imaginary world with a small OS. I'd pray that Ved Vyas not read this piece. The only person I wouldn't mind reading this would be Draupadi.
We've had several posts discuss the silent love story of Arjun and Draupadi. While we all love to speculate and think of the what if' scenario, as a woman, my empathy has always been with Draupadi.
The questions that have nagged me-
What if Arjun had expressed his feelings to Draupadi?
What if Arjun had the same feelings for her as she did?
What if all his life, Arjun carried that one regret of sharing her with his brothers?
What were Arjun's last thoughts as he fell off the Meru parvat?
I hope I can answer some of these what ifs' through this OS. Would love your comments and criticism. Again, this is fictional and strictly my imagination.
As I ascended the rough terrain of the Meru parvat, well aware that this was perhaps the last journey, six of us would traverse together. I recalled how despite all our trials and tribulations, the six of us had become one force, one power and one person. How I wished we would all reach the gates of heaven, hand in hand, all six of us, with our heads high, finally detached from our worldly duties.
Just as I dreamt of the gates leading to heaven, the almighty gave me the last lesson of my life. A piercing shrill from behind struck my heart like lightning. My feet froze on the icy path; a sharp cactus thorn sliced through my foot. I didn't have the heart to look back. I knew it was Panchali. I had heard a similar scream in the dice hall, also when Jaidrath had abducted her, when Keechak had tried to molest her, when Abhimanyu had died and when all her sons had perished to Ashwatthama's brutal act but for the first time, I wasn't there to look her in the eye and reassure her that this shall too pass.
Bhim's voice from above jolted me back to my senses. As always the most expressive one, he was concerned about Panchali. Why did she fall when she had committed no sin? Jyestha's words, because in her heart she always loved Arjun the most,' tugged at me. So, Jyeshta, just like a father to all of us, knew all along. Even though she had tried her best to suppress her true feelings, Panchali's eyes had always been the windows to her heart. They way her eyes followed me, that extra glance, that restlessness when her year with me was about to end, that painful expression when I departed for exile or my quest for celestial weapons and then the war. She never once said, "I'll miss you Aryaputra." She didn't have to. Somewhere deep down, she knew that I knew what she meant to say but could never say it. Her unconditional affection for Subhadra and Abhimanyu was her way of letting me know what I meant to her.
She had pledged to make our lives a life long tapasya.' I will forever be indebted to her. By dividing herself, she had united us brothers in a lifelong bond of trust, brotherhood, friendship and unconditional love.
Even though, in the eyes of the world, she is the first one to leave us, in my humble opinion, she's the first one who has succeeded in our life long tapasya. She has achieved moksha' while the five of us still toil up the mountain. As we've done all our lives, the four of us are following jyesth in search of moksha- without asking any questions, without looking behind and without any ill feelings towards each other.
It won't be long before Nakul, Sahdev and I also fall. Jyesth would probably say, my pride did me in, but in my heart I know the real reason. The day I labeled my beloved as a charitable gift- an alm, a daan-I knew I had committed the biggest sin in my life. Later, we were all reassured that it was the best course of action in the name of dharm and unity, in the best interest of the country but by dividing the love of my life, I had conquered the world but failed the woman whom I loved the most. As Vidur chacha had always said: To save the family, one must abandon an individual. To save the village, abandon a family; to save the country, abandon the village.' Yes, we had all followed our dharm and no one did it better than Panchali. She knew what dharm was and she practiced it every second of her life. Even in death, she's followed her dharm- she didn't want be a burden on us and that's why has gracefully exited before any of us could fall.
As I lie on a rock, gasping for my last breath, I can see bhrata Bheem and Jyesth way ahead on the mountain. Nakul and Sahdev lie peacefully below me. As I shut my eyes to say my final prayers, I see two hazy smiles, dressed in pure white, inviting me to join them in a celestial garden. They don't have to say a word. I know who they are. Panchali and Madhav- they've always known me better than I ever knew myself. I raise my arms as an inexplicable strength carries me until I'm on my feet again, holding hands with Panchali and Madhav. A sense of tranquility and peace descends on me as the three of us walk into the garden for the last time...
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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