Tales of Panchaali and Pandavas - Page 13

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Pikachu_007 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
fab story once again👍🏼 waiting for next
CaptainSpark thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: pujametallic

fab story once again👍🏼 waiting for next


Thank u! posting in sometime!
Pikachu_007 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
nakul kitna romantic hain par yudi aur panchali story romantic nahi hai i hape to see yudi romantic like nakul yudi learn something from nakul
CaptainSpark thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: pujametallic

nakul kitna romantic hain par yudi aur panchali story romantic nahi hai i hape to see yudi romantic like nakul yudi learn something from nakul


🤣 Part in red..
CaptainSpark thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Bheem and Panchaali (This scene..is not completely made up. It was there in the real epic before Keechak vadh. But we dont know what happened before Keechak vadh right? So this story of mine will feature on a scene just before that.) Story3

It was a pitch dark night in the Matsya kingdom and silent hollowed the royal sleep. Everyone slept, and so did four unknown men who claimed to be from Indraprastha. No one was awake...except. Except Panchaali. She sat near a small window on the maids' chamber crying to herself. No star shined on the tears which trickled down her grey cheeks. She wiped the tears with her beautiful hand and stopped in the middle. Something had just scratched her cheek. She looked at her hand. It was a ring. Some flashing memories came in front of her.
...

Bheem held both of Panchaali's hands, which together looked like a hidden lotus, close to his heart and said, "I, Vrikodaar Bheem, promise you, Yajnaseni that I will protect you and be with you whenever you need me, in life or death." Panchaali had been listening with lots of love in her heart while Bheem said, "and this ring, which I am giving you today," said Bheem taking out a stone carved ring and gently pushing it through Panchaali's finger, then the most beautiful, "will remind you of my promise to you." Panchaali had accepted Bheem's loving promise that day much before the dice game and all the other incidents which were surely the reason why Panchaali was lonely today.
...

Panchaali wiped her tears inspite of being scratched by the hard ring again and again. She stood up quitely saying to herself in the darkest of all nights, "I will free my wild heart. I will meet Bheem, and he will have to keep his promise." She tiptoed through darkness outside the maids' chamber and headed towards the kitchen. She wore a maids' attire and covered herself with a grey shawl due to the cold night and also for saving her reputation, even as a maid. Each step towards the palace kitchen seemed to be every step to the pulling of a throne from her heart. It killed her. Bheem was sleeping silently in the floors of the kitchen. Panchaali walked up to Bheem and laid her hand on Bheem's forehead. Bheem opened his eyes in a slight movement and on seeing Panchaali got up giving the kitchen a mini earthquake. Panchaali silenced Bheem as he was about to.."Panch-" and gestured him to come out into the open corridor. "What does she need at such an hour?" Bheem mumbled to himself while he walked behind his wife.Panchaali looked at Bheem not in her usual way but strictly. "I was harrassed by Keechak this morning in the Queen's parlour. He harrassed me again in front of your respected elder brother Yudhishtir and my husband when he kept quiet and watched the drama. I want you to take some action aarya." Panchaali could not control her speedy tears. Bheem frowned and rusted the grund while listening to Panchaali's words. He walked up to Panchaali and wiped her tears. Panchaali smelled food from Bheem's muscular hands and felt the scraps of spices in them. "If you don't see Keechak dead by tomorrow, the same time we are standing here, then I refuse to be your aarya." Panchaali looked at Bheem's eyes and for the final time, trusted someone. A star twinkled in the sky and fell on the ground...leading Panchaali's way back to the chambers.

Justitia thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Brishti, my collective feedback for both your stories -

1. Yudi-Drau - They are COMPLETELY in character. And this is THE best Yudi-Drau story that you have written so far...👏

Just a story request I'd like to make - I would be extremely interested to see Yudi-Drau in a normal hubby-wife situation that does not involve talks about the kingdom or even politics.
I'll give you a situation - Think of THAT epi in which Yudi asked (no, demanded!!😆) that Duri should vacate the yuvraj post, and Drau got insulted by Duri in the HP rajyasabha...😡

Imagine how Drau must've felt while facing those insults...and imagine how Yudi must've felt to see Drau getting insulted by Duri 😭

Also, the CVs NEVER showed how Yudi (or ANY of the other Pandavas, for that matter) must've comforted Drau after the incident. 😡

So, how about writing a Yudi-Drau story post THAT HP rajyasabha apmaan, which deals with Yudi being a source of support for Drau as a hubby? Other Pandavas could also make a guest appearance too...

2. Bhim-Draupadi - Fantastic of you to take up the Keechak incident!! 👏

Also, a Bhim-Draupadi request - After Drau's humiliation, Bhim took those vows against Duri & Dushi. Also, Bhim was the one who threatened to burn Yudi's hands for staking her (if Yudi weren't his jesht bratha). And, Bhim killed all the 100 Kauravas single-handedly in Kurukshetra.

So, how about a Bhim-Drau story post her vastraharan in which he consoles her and pledges to bring her justice?

Or do you think it will be just too similar to the Keechak story that you have written?
Edited by shani88 - 11 years ago
CaptainSpark thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: shani88

Brishti, my collective feed back for both your stories -

1. Yudi-Drau - They are COMPLETELY in character. And this is THE best Yudi-Drau story that you have written so far...👏

Just a story request I'd like to make - I would be extremely interested to see Yudi-Drau in a normal hubby-wife situation that does not involve talks about the kingdom or even politics.
I'll give you a situation - Think of THAT epi in which Yudi asked (no, demanded!!😆) that Duri should vacate the yuvraj post, and Drau got insulted by Duri in the HP rajyasabha...😡
Imagine how Drau must've felt while facing those insults...and imagine how Yudi must've felt to see Drau getting insulted by Duri 😭

Also, the CVs NEVER showed how Yudi (or ANY of the other Pandavas, for that matter) must've comforted Drau after the incident. So, how about writing a Yudi-Drau story post THAT HP rajyasabha apmaan, which deals with Yudi being a source of support for Drau as a hubby? Other Pandavas could also make a guest appearance too...

2. Bhim-Draupadi - Fantastic of you to take up the Keechak incident!! 👏

Also, a Bhim-Draupadi request - After Drau's humiliation, Bhim took those vows against Duri & Dushi. Also, Bhim was the one who threatened to burn Yudi's hands for staking her (if Yudi weren't his jesht bratha). And, Bhim killed all the 100 Kauravas single-handedly in Kurukshetra. So, how about a Bhim-Drau story post her vastraharan in which he consoles her and pledges to bring her justice?
Or do you think it will be just too similar to the Keechak story that you have written?


Part in red- Sure. Thanks for the idea. I will write a story of Yudi and Drau discussing of it.😊 But part in bold - No kabab-mein-haddi..only Yudi Drau...😆

Part in blue- Nah it wont be similar if I write in in another way. There Drau asks for help. Here,, Bheem is supposed to console her. There is difference. I was also thinking of a Yudi Drau story post-cheerharan where Drau is angry with Yudi and Yudi breaks her anger. But, I was thinking.. stalking her is too serious. Can it be a playful story.. I doubt...
amritat thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
These are, so far, THE BEST stories in this thread...👏
These new stories on Yudisthir-Panchali and Bhim-Panchali are very well written.👏
The characters and the chemistry are perfectly in place...😊
Yudisthir n Panchali's conversation is very appropriate n Bhim n Panchali's chemistry is very real, and very close to the chemistry in the actual epic...😊
Bhim's protective nature n Yudisthir's mature personality have been depicted very well. 😊
So far, these 2 stories are the best, on this thread...👏
CaptainSpark thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: amritat

These are, so far, THE BEST stories in this thread...👏

These new stories on Yudisthir-Panchali and Bhim-Panchali are very well written.👏
The characters and the chemistry are perfectly in place...😊
Yudisthir n Panchali's conversation is very appropriate n Bhim n Panchali's chemistry is very real, and very close to the chemistry in the actual epic...😊
Bhim's protective nature n Yudisthir's mature personality have been depicted very well. 😊
So far, these 2 stories are the best, on this thread...👏


Thank you thank u thank u thank u thank u🤗

btw- does your first sentence say that in full forum my thread has the best stories?????????
Shriya95 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Truely lovly stories brishti👏. Nw dat ppl hv suggested abt bheem consoling darupadi aftr cheerharn i wld like to suggedt anothr thng. I read it somewhere in the net that the day(or rather night) bheem kills dussy draupadi calls bheem into her tent (for obvious reasons). Apparently she became vry romantic towards him since them. So i ws wondering if u could write somethng post war. Nt nly with bheem but others too...n yaa no compulsions, just suggesting😊

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