Rishbala SS: Upakhyana..Last part Pg12 - Page 2

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uma88 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#11
Hey mimi,

I happen to read ur last ss, almost when u are at the end..

And i must tel u, u r the most fast writer, as u completed ur ss in just 2 days, great, simply great👏

And about the ss, i liked it from the first chapter itself and sorry for posting verry late that too in your second ss..

And about this new ss, the concept is completely different, very nice, expecting more rishbala moments at the earliest,

as u have been known for fast updates😊😊
Edited by uma88 - 12 years ago
-SmexyGhost- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#12
Omg this is so good --- Really..!!

I loved the concept as well as the characterization -- Simply superb -- Keep up the good work --- & yeah update soon.
mimibm thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#13

Hello readers, here comes the second update. I have a request to you to make this story reading more fulfilling. As a writer I have my limitations and cannot create the scenes in the most authentic way; so to make up for those gaps in my descriptions, I will refer to some of the musical pieces from youtube. If possible please listen to them while reading the passage, and I believe it will create an ambience appropriate to the story.


Upakhyana..a short tale of love..

Chapter2- Nirdesha..the instruction..

Next morning the royal court started its daily proceedings. Chaturanan was reporting to the king about the tax collection of that month and the budget he had decided to be used in the different state affairs. King Narasimha, as usual barely interested in the administrative affairs, was waiting for the general Giriraj. As the general entered the court, the king signaled Chaturanan to continue with his reporting later and enquired, "Senapati, where is your brave son? Where had you been hiding him from us all these years?" Giriraj smiled and replied, "Nowhere, Maharaj. He was being trained at the gurukul so that when the time comes, he has the strength and genius to take over his responsibilities and deliver what is expected from him." "Exactly so, Senapati. I am so very impressed with his valour, that I want him to take up the royal family's security as his duty from today onwards." "But Maharaj, do you think he is that much capable?" asked bewildered Chaturanan. He had hoped his son would be given such responsibility soon to be in vicinity of the princess. But quashing his dreams, the king said, "I may not be an expert with numbers Mahamantri, but I definitely can identify a genuine gallantry from a feigned one. Rishabh is indeed the person this palace needs right now." Chaturanan understood what the king was suggesting indirectly and did not dare to say any further.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COwTDaRhUV8

A fazed Rishabh entered the palace late in the morning, as he was summoned to report immediately. He was an outlander to all the grandeur of a royal life. He had spent most of his life in austerity in the gurukul. He looked at the beautiful architecture, the heavily embroidered linens, the numerous pieces of art scattered in every direction. He tried to calm his nerves and took a deep breath, and a mild fragrance of various flowers intoxicated him. "Where do you think you are going agantuk (stranger)?" asked him a beautiful young girl, her hand stretched out blocking his way. "I am the new suraksha adhipati (security head) of this palace. But who are you blocking my passage?" questioned Rishabh, assuming a formidable expression befitting his new designation. The girl burst out in a peal of laughter and said, "You are the suraksha adhipati of the palace and you do not know that you cannot enter the inner palace without Rajkumari's permission? Who appointed you for this role?" Rishabh was shocked to see the audacity of the young girl but could not find an apt retort because of his inexperience with the women folk. "I know you are the winner of yesterday's sword-fight. And I was told that you are coming to take up your new role. I was just having some fun with you," and gave him a proud smirk saying, "I am Ishaani, Rajkumari's closest friend. Remember my name because you will need me every time you need to contact the princess. Now follow me."

Rishabh had no intention to start his day with a glance of the princess. Already his sleep was wiped out of his eyes last night in the mentation of her eyes, her smile, her voice and her.. "Rajkumari, the new security head has come to pay you a visit," and indicated Rishabh to enter the princess' room. Rishabh was flushed at his own thoughts about the princess and did not have the courage to look anywhere other than the floor. There was silence of few moments, the time taken by Madhurya to visually explore this divine sculpture in flesh and blood, standing taut in front of her. "Is he the same man who thwarted Abhimanas at the arena yesterday? Nay, you look like his twin brother lacking his manliness," spoke the princess sarcastically. Men, who tried to escape her enchantment by avoiding looking at her, irked her the most. Her caustic humour irked Rishabh as much, and he glowered at the princess and curtly replied, "Yes Rajkumari, I am the same man, only unaware of the courtly ways of this palace. Pardon my bashful demeanor, princess, I will not fall short of any valour when the time calls for it." Madhurya kept staring at his eyes till he lowered them again. "I like men of action more than men of words. I have to go to the Radhagopal temple tomorrow with my friends. You have to arrange our journey and send an efficient convoy for our security." "Don't worry princess, your aadesh (instruction) will be fulfilled with utmost care and I will be there in charge of your security. Now may I take your leave princess?" Madhurya nodded and saw him rushing out of her room.

"How am I going to work in this palace with such impish people looking over me? Anyway, I should better start arranging for tomorrow's journey,' said Rishabh to himself and went ahead with his job. Meanwhile, the sakhis who witnessed the first encounter between Rishabh and Madhurya were brooding over it. "Rajkumari, you should not have instigated him like that. No man can take a joke on his manliness," opined Ishaani. Madhurya just smiled in reply and strayed off to the window. She was contemplating her next move to nettle this new plaything called Rishabh.

Edited by mimibm - 12 years ago
LoseYouToLoveMe thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#14
both the updates were awesome 😳 sorry for the late reply...please update the next part soon & pm it to me 😊 and ya i'm the first to comment 😎 yipee 🥳
mimibm thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: lwrimaforever

both the updates were awesome 😳 sorry for the late reply...please update the next part soon & pm it to me 😊 and ya i'm the first to comment 😎 yipee 🥳



Hey thanks😊...just wanted to know from you as you were the first to comment😉...did you like the reference of the musical piece with the passage?...I just want to know it from the readers whether it is a good idea or not..😕
LoseYouToLoveMe thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#16
actually the link which u have posted for the music is not opening 😭 so can't hear the music...sorry
mimibm thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: lwrimaforever

actually the link which u have posted for the music is not opening 😭 so can't hear the music...sorry



Oh I am sorry to know that, but it is opening when I am trying to...anyway, hope the writing justifies the cause 😛
aDarkAngel thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#18
Chapter 1 :-

Wow..awesome...can't tell you how much fab it is...the royal background, the challenge between Rishabh and Abhimanas..I was imagining all of them in royal attires and it was thrilling😃..it kinda reminded of movies like gladiator and 300.. Visually enthralling😛.
aDarkAngel thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#19
Chapter 2 :-

Ah I love this dazed Rishabh and arrogantly teasing Madhu hehe!! Wasn't the winner supposed to marry Madhurya..but how come king instead made him the in charge of security!! And guess Abhimanas is awaiting to seek his revenge...
Oh am very excited to read how this princess going to allure this warrior😆!! Pls continue soon..love ur speedy updates😛..hopefully I get to read the next few chapters tomorrow.. Am keeping my fingers crossed here😉

Edited:-
I actually watched the vm on that youtube that u have mentioned ...but curious to know how your is inspired from the video😉..do explain okay😊
Edited by aDarkAngel - 12 years ago
mimibm thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#20

Originally posted by: aDarkAngel

Chapter 2 :-


Ah I love this dazed Rishabh and arrogantly teasing Madhu hehe!! Wasn't the winner supposed to marry Madhurya..but how come king instead made him the in charge of security!! And guess Abhimanas is awaiting to seek his revenge...
Oh am very excited to read how this princess going to allure this warrior😆!! Pls continue soon..love ur speedy updates😛..hopefully I get to read the next few chapters tomorrow.. Am keeping my fingers crossed here😉

Edited:-
I actually watched the vm on that youtube that u have mentioned ...but curious to know how your is inspired from the video😉..do explain okay😊



If you are mentioning about the youtube link I referred to in the 2nd chapter, it is only to be listened to as a background music for the ambience of the inner palace where all the sakhis along with the princess are staying, and symbolically Rishabh is the Kanha who gets lost in the 'gali' or the winding ways of the palace..

And thanks a million for writing such an inspiring comment...your comments boost me to write the updates faster 😳.. now I am going for a movie and once I come back, hopefully my brain will be swarming with more ideas for this upakhyana 😆

Edited by mimibm - 12 years ago

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