WARNING: If you are easily disgusted, please do not read.
She walks away yet again. It's like I don't matter anymore. I am there one second and the very next second she wants me out. What do I do? I pick up an '82 Borgue and pour myself a drink. Then, another one and countless more until the memories blur. Isn't that how it all started?
One gallon of rum and an hour long drive later, I stumbled back to the bedroom door with another arm locked in mine.
"Let's do this hero", her cold, reptile fingers snaked my abdomen. One blood red nail was stabbing my waist and another clawing the flesh around it.
I undressed her and myself under fairy lights and breathless whispers. She tugged on the only piece of clothing I still had on: my necktie. We worked our way into the bathroom. She turned on the showerhead washing away our sins as we committed them. There we were, two pairs of bodies, touching and parting, tainting and cleansing under the all forgiving solvent. But, would she ever forgive? My Madhu?
"I need a drink", I pushed this foreign body away. She pulled me back, biting on my flesh. "I didn't know you were the kind who takes breaks".
"I deliver in one cut", I shut down whatever was stopping me. What remained was steam and showers, heaving unmentionables, shameful heads and lust.
I stepped out and walked back, covering my regrets under the soft cotton sheets. They were white but my darkness was rubbing off noir, charcoal black spread its roots from underneath my heat. Each nook was coloured nightly. A ghost white woman pushed herself against me. She carried rum in one hand while the other run free on my chest. Those fingers where choking my lungs as she pressed and pressed her weight. She was smiling so I smiled back. She felt good, numbing and pleasurable. She even looked pretty. My Madhu, I pushed away her thoughts from consciousness. I tasted this woman, who was not mine but in my arms for the night. She was temporary, a gig, an alien thing. Why then did my wife appear in the periphery?
"Madhu", I spoke startled. The woman quickly draped herself in the sheets. When I managed to pull myself up, they were both long gone: my woman and the alien.
I pour another drink as I see her walking back in the kitchen.
"You can sleep in the bed tonight. The rate my gag reflux is going, I don't think I will doze off".
I mumble gibberish, I know what I want to say but my tongue won't roll the right way. She sees an empty bottle of liquor and curls her fingers in a familiar manner. I like that sass so much, I cannot stop myself from smiling.
"How much did you drink? You know how tempted I am. I told you to go outside and not chug your heart out here. I am not about to deal with a drunk when I have morning sickness".
"I l...lu...luv...ju".
"Shut up, your breath smells like cow dung".
Her flesh brushes against mine as she wafts away my diverse scents.
"When was the last time you used deodorant? I can't stand the stink from your pits. People carry their wives around. Here I am, knocked up and dragging your fat ass from the kitchen to the bedroom because you are too drunk to care how bloated I am".
"I can carry...ju"
"Break my bones and kill the baby? No thank you".
She drops my weight on the spring mattress and sprays me down with febreze. She takes off my shoes and socks with the same look of annoyance plastered on her face. I barely blink, trying to absorb as much of the night as I can. This would never come again, not in sobriety. I savour every second she looks at me with love and then, she says:
"I am only telling you this because more likely than not, you won't remember tomorrow. I miss you".
She runs her fingers through my hair. I kiss the calluses on her tips and she pulls away. She tucks me in, wiping away the salt water that build up in her eyes and mine.
Edited by DonnaHarvey - 12 years ago
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
