META chai party: RK as James Dean - Page 4

Originally posted by: Foucaults-qalam

FG, we posit that kukky enabled the abuse. Not that he was the abuser.

Hmmm.. It is possible that Kukkuji could have physically abused him or enabled the abuse... But still it leaves the question why he is allowing Kukuji to stay in his place if that was the case... So in all probability I think that possibility is mute...

Originally posted by: Foucaults-qalam

This may be an entirely superficial idea, where the unresolved state that RK is in is concerned, but it is also telling. He is too ignorant to understand his own behavioural stimuli or impulses. He does not know that loss of control makes him angry. To me, he just reacts. If he thought for one moment why he did it, he would not. Just as anger is impossible when we allow our minds to rationally parse a given situation.

This is a very telling paragraph, in my opinion. Are you familiar with Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development? I'm going to paraphrase it here, anyway. Erikson divides human psychological development into stages and associated each stage with an existential question.

0-2 years	Basic Trust vs. Mistrust	Can I Trust The World?
2-4 years	Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt	Is It Ok To Be Me?
4-5 years	Initiative vs. Guilt	Is It Ok For Me To Do, Move and Act?
5-12 years	Industry vs. Inferiority	Can I Make It In The World Of People And Things?
13-19 years	Identity vs. Role Confusion	Who Am I? What Can I Be?
20-24 years	Intimacy vs. Isolation	Can I Love?
25-64 years	Generativity vs. Stagnation	Can I Make My Life Count?
65-death	Ego Integrity vs. Despair	Is It Ok To Have Been Me?

source - wikipedia.

I'm assuming RK's development was ok till age 12, but if you see the next stage where an adolescent would ideally have addressed the questions of identity, he seems to have regressed to the first question of trust. This adds weight to the immaturity argument. Also, this could possibly explain why he is so confused about himself and his emotional (especially romantic) responses to people (viz. his Biwi).

I have mentioned this several times in this forum that RK isn't the strange specimen we are allowed to ogle at and dissect. HE is the normative one. He is us. It is Madhu who is the abnormal one.

The resolved, evolved being who shall be his salvation.

She'll have to play mother, friend and wife to him, in the mould of that horrid sloka - 'Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri; Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha; Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri;Satkarma Nari, Kuladharma Patni'

[An ideal wife: Works like a servant, Advises like a minister, Feeds like a mother, makes love like a nymph, is as beautiful as Lakshmi, and forgiving like the earth] 🤢

I only hope salvation doesn't come easily to him and that he learns to value Madhu as she should be.

Eta:

turns out IF doesn't accept greek letters. They are just Greek letters IF, not Greek letters of credit. Don't be mean!

😆

Gnothi seauton is what i meant by the question marks, as you would have guessed.

I didn't know this phrase. I've heard of 'nosce teipsum' from Hobbes' "The Leviathan". Thanks for introducing me to the Greek equivalent.

Originally posted by: Kangto09

Nevertheless, i do believe RK is sexually immature. Even if he is not a virgin (i believe he is a virgin), he probably never had a meaningful relationship with any women. As for deepali, the hurt seems psychological, she seems to be taunting him. I think they might have been intimate emotionally rather then physically. For all his threats to Madhu, he has never acted on them. He makes those I'll disrobe you Biwi threats because he understands Madhu's weakness and knows he will get his way.

Another thought I got was, You know he hates his mom, maybe his unconscious mind is afraid to get too intimate with a women? His unconscious mind is protecting from hurt and betrayal? Plus, he is an Indian man who are told to bottle up their feelings and be sexually repressed? Sex is not seen as a positive thing in India sadly.

Yes re RK's behaviour to Dipali and Madhu.. His awkwardness in tying up her dori merely comes from the his dormant romantic feelings for Madhu courtesy clunky plot...

re Radhaji.. He is afraid of allowing people to get too close to him lest they hurt him like his mother has.. That why he is all thorns on the outside. It helps in distancing himself from the people who might come too close for comfort...

Originally posted by: applenpeaches

FQ and B (short and sweet with all its associated meaning..)

I disagree with the child sexual abuse theory for his hatred of kukuji.. He hates him for having married his mother.. If kukuji had abused him, he wont even be tolerating his presence at his home right now and he would be seen nervous or awkward in his presence.. He is neither.. He is his usual arrogant self..

Originally posted by: Foucaults-qalam

Re Indian men. Let me just say here in case my position is misunderstood: I am biased. Severely biased. I want to kick most of them very hard in the knackers.

They are the most disgusting, repressed, multiple standard following, hypocritical, unthinking, convenient way out taking, misogynist idiots on the planet.

There, In the interests of due disclosure, my position is now clear.

SD,

We are kindred spirits and let me return your salute. 👏 Believe me I know just how much courage and strength it needs to come out and rise above those unfortunate situation...

There was this one post in IPKKND forum where the topic maker asked how many Arshi fans was willing to take on a man like Arnav in their life.. You wouldnt believe the number who did! And I was like, do they even know what they are talking about.. Grow up! I wanted to tell them... (I never did.. I would only get bashed..) Things are nowhere near romantic as portrayed on screen.. Be it Arshi or Rishabala...

Enough of this miserable topic... FQ raised this question in my 'The boy is father to the man' post as to why RK married Madhu given its social and legal implications and complications.. That to me was a very interesting one..

Originally posted by: applenpeaches

SD,

We are kindered spirits and let me return your salute. 👏 Believe me I know just how much courage and strength it needs to come out and rise above those unfortunate situation...

There was this one post in IPKKND forum where the topic maker asked how many Arshi fans was willing to take on a man like Arnav in their life.. You wouldnt believe the number who did! And I was like, do they even know what they are talking about.. Grow up! I wanted to tell them... (I never did.. I would only get bashed..) Things are nowhere near romantic as portrayed on screen.. Be it Arshi or Rishabala...

I call it 'the reformist zeal'. Some girls (especially teenagers) seem to think it would be exciting to be in that situation. Idiots. I would rather be a a bit bored and normal that like this. Sometimes I want to shake such girls and tell them to go ride a roller-coaster if an adrenaline rush is what they want..

Enough of this miserable topic... FQ raised this question in my 'The boy is father to the man' post as to why RK married Madhu given its social and legal implications.. That to me was a very interesting one..